20. Pallas

Iwandered down to the barracks, looking for the commander. I wasn't exactly sure what had brought me there. I'd known of Avlyn for many years; their presence at the DragonKing's side was a constant. I never had much contact with Abraxas. I had always feared him, but he wasn't here. Avlyn was, and they were not at all what I had expected.

Islowly made my way down the halls deep within the castle. There were no windows this low, but torches lit the roughhewn surfaces, and soldiers milled about, chatting and roughhousing. A few gave me passing looks, but no one stopped me. I wasn't entirely sure where I was going or why I was even headed there. You know why.Yes, I'd seen that look on Avlyn's face, the fear in their heart that their body did not belong to them. I knew that feeling well, and it drew me.

Iturned a corner and saw the brute Kaleos leaning against a wall. He stood up straight when he saw me. "My lady, can I help you?"

"Yes, I was looking for CommanderAvlyn."

Heturned to look at the door across the hall. "The commander is in there, but they are with Oryx, and… well, they aren't receiving visitors."

Iwasn't surprised. Tori had been mumbling in the library about Avlyn refusing to see her. Luckily, I didn't think this brute would be too hard to get past.

"I need to see them; I'm checking on any lingering effects of magic." An easy lie.

Hiseyebrows shot up. "Oh, yes… well, then… go in, I guess." Too easy. I strode past him and pushed open the wooden door.

Thecommander had their own private room. It wasn't large, but the stone floor had been covered in rugs, and a few comfortable—if unrefined—chairs sat around a low table where cards and dice were strewn. The commander sat on the bed, with the red-headed healer checking on them.

Avlyn'samber eyes moved to me as I entered the room. They looked much more suspicious than the brute had. Oryx stood up and went to the door, giving me a friendly smile before leaving without a word. The commander and I were alone.

"What do you want?" they asked. Their voice was strained, and they still held themselves rigidly. Their hands ran over their legs, still fearful that they might disappear at any second. It would have been easy to snap back at them, but I hadn't come here to be antagonistic.

"I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Just fine, thanks. Now, if that's all…" Avlyn gestured to the door. I ignored them.

"I need to see if you have any magic lingering from your change."

Avlyn'seyes narrowed, but they did not stop me as I approached. I was lying, but only partially. I could sense residual magic. It wasn't a gift, just a skill from growing up in my mother's labs, always surrounded by magic. I knew what it felt like. It left a sweet taste on my tongue and made the hair on my arms stand on end. That's how I knew something had changed about Tori's necklace that night in Koron. I wasn't sure what its magic was; the glamour on it had been expertly woven, but I could still sense it.

Isat on the bed beside the commander and slowly moved my hand to hover over their legs. I wasn't surprised to find no residual magic. WhateverTori and Jun had been able to do together was seamless. Regardless, I didn't stop my hand and found myself leaning in closer. The room was quiet, with no sound except for our breathing. I could still smell how the salt air clung to them.

Avlynplaced their hand on top of mine, gently pushing it down so that my palm landed on their thigh. I looked up and saw that their face was very close. Were they…

"Do you feel anything… am I going to change back?" No, they weren't being forward. They were terrified.

Igave their thigh a gentle squeeze and let it linger. "No. I don't sense anything. You don't have to worry."

Avlynlet out a long breath, and the tension left their shoulders as they leaned forward to hold their face in their hands. I instinctively started rubbing their back.

"I haven't seen magic in five hundred years, and I've already had enough."

Icontinued my ministrations. "But that's not true, Avlyn. You have clung to your magic all this time."

Theyhuffed, "More like it clung to me. You saw; I was never any good with it. I preferred to ignore it when I could." They laughed, "Although it did help me save the princess's life once."

"And mine as well." Avlyn sat up straight and finally turned their face towards me. Their full lips pressed together tightly, and I leaned into them more. "You never wanted to use it? You never wanted to see what you could do?"

Fora long time, they said nothing as their gaze never wavered from mine. I felt their leg shift under my hand like they finally realized I'd left it there.

"It always called to me… the sea. WhenI used my magic, that call was almost impossible to deny. And when I changed, it was all I could think about. I ached to dive beneath the waves and just disappear into the depths."

"Why didn't you? You may not have the chance again."

Theirjaw clenched. "I would have never come back," they stated simply. "I can't do that now. I have to stay here and fight for Abraxas, for Tori."

"But you want to go."

"I didn't until today, and I hate that a feeling I had no control over or desire for pulled deep in my gut. Have you ever wanted something with every fiber of your being that you knew you couldn't have?"

Adark shadow crossed my heart, and Avlyn must have seen it on my face because their expression softened. "I'm sorry. I'm just rambling." They placed their hand on my shoulder. "I feel better now. Away from the ocean, inside these walls, I know I'm not likely to start flopping around at any moment. Thank you, Pallas." They hit me with a warm smile, and I stared deep into their honey-colored eyes. My stomach squeezed at the rapt attention and adoration they were showing me.

"Actually, I came here to thank you, Commander."

Theyhad saved my life. I assumed their motives were the same as anyone else who had helped me. They hadn't initiated anything, but that's how some people were. The commander was attractive, so it was no hardship to give it to them. IfI was being honest, I wanted it, too. I squeezed their thigh tighter and pressed my chest against theirs. My eyelids fell closed.

Immediately, the commander's hand held me back by my shoulder. My eyes opened in shock. "You don't have to do that, Pallas." Avlyn's face was stern but not unkind.

Ididn't understand the emotions that darted through me at the rejection, but I felt my lips twitch.

Theireyes widened. "It's not that I'm not… I did say I had quite a weakness for beautiful women," they stammered, and a deep blush rose onto their dark cheeks. "It's just… after what you've been through…" Their eyes widened more and their whole face was red. "You should get settled here before… well…" They were floundering, and my pride was wounded enough that I stood rapidly and made my exit.

AsI opened the room, I surprised myself by calling back, "I'm glad to see you smile again, Commander." What the hell was that? AsI closed the door, I heard Avlyn flop down on the bed with an aggravated huff.

Istepped outside and found LieutenantKaleos with his arm around Oryx. The healer's red freckles were almost hidden by the deep blush on his cheeks as the brute pulled him close and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. Seeing him be so gentle with another was really cutting into my image of him as a brute. I continued to stare until Oryx noticed me and gently pushed out of his lover's arms. He reached up and scratched the back of his head sheepishly, sending me a soft grin that I didn't reciprocate. "What did you find? Will the commander be alright?"

Ishot him a confused look. "You examined them, don't you know?"

Heshook his head. "I'm versed in physical healing. I use herbs, plants, and the gifts of our world to help people with some knowledge of anatomy. But magic… I've read about the healing that used to be possible when magic still flowed. HowI wish I could have seen that! But that's not possible anymore…"

Allthree of us lingered on his last sentence. The barracks grew quieter, and I knew all the soldiers were listening to us now. How could they not after what they had seen on the beach this morning?

"It's not possible, right, my lady?" All their eyes were on me. What was I supposed to say? I was barely able to handle my own situation, trapped in this castle far away from my home. Trapped? Really? Yes, trapped. I was trapped but able to freely wander the palace and the city and able to see Jun any time I wanted. I was trapped because my body didn't understand that it didn't have to be afraid of being touched by anyone and everyone. It was hard to believe that there might be people who helped me without expecting my body as a reward. The freedom chaffs.

Itwas all a trick; it had to be. The princess was just waiting for me to slip up and try to escape so she could kill me without remorse. Avlyn was just luring me in with kindness. It had worked, and I had practically thrown myself into their arms. I'm sure, in the end, they would be the same as all the others and use me for their own pleasure, nothing more. And all the soldiers were still fucking staring at me. I turned down the hall and walked away, not saying a word.

I returned to the library and found the twins huddled over the same tomes I had left them with. The stares of the soldiers seemed to follow me back here, and I couldn't stand it any longer.

"Why are you letting me wander freely? What's your plan, Tori?" She looked up at me and let out a small laugh. "It's not funny."

Herface grew more serious. "No, it's not. I was just remembering when I asked Abraxas the same thing." She stood and walked over to me, Jun following behind her. "You're free, Pallas. You aren't a prisoner here." That little smile crossed her lips again. "If you want to leave, you can leave."

Iwas shocked into stillness. "Letting me go is a terrible idea."

"Is it? You've already had my life in your hands multiple times, and you haven't harmed me. And despite how you feel about me and this kingdom, I know you would never harm Jun. Besides, I really don't think you are going to leave."

Icrossed my arms and felt anger stir in my stomach. "You don't know me, Princess."

Shestarted to respond, but Jun interrupted her. "Pallas, do you really want to leave?" His eyes shined with tears. He knew he would have to choose between me and her if I did. I knew who he would pick. After everything we had been through, he would pick her. He should pick her after all I had done, after all the ways I had hurt him. It tore at my heart, and I was too weak to face it.

Isighed, "No, I don't."

Hesmiled, and the heaviness lifted. He lit up my whole life. Besides, where else would I go?

Isighed and leaned over the tomes they had open on the table. "Did you find anything?"

Toriflipped a page, then flopped back and pulled a piece of dried meat out of a bag, tearing at it with her teeth. I cringed, thinking about the oils on her fingers smearing the pages of these precious tomes.

"You'd think the library of the DragonKingdom might have some actual books with useful information about dragons, but no." Tori held the dried meat in one hand as she flipped through the pages. Jun leaned over and took a massive bite out of the piece. "Hey!"

Toritried to jerk the food back, but her brother held on tightly and grinned around the meat in his teeth. The princess struggled with him gently, but it quickly escalated as he reached to grab the rest of her snacks.

"Get your own!" She pushed the side of his face, trying to move him away.

"Yours are better," he laughed around the stolen bite. He flung his whole weight onto her as they continued their tussle.

Itwas so stupid, the stupidest thing I had ever seen, but my heart seemed to glow. I think Tori realized how physical Jun was letting her be, and a small smile lit up her eyes as she wrestled the food from her twin's grip, triumphantly shoving the entire piece in her mouth.

Theprince held his hands up in defeat as his sister nearly choked on her prize. He turned to me. "We haven't been able to find much in these books. What did you want to tell us on the beach? AboutTori not having magic."

Mystudy of magic had always been my greatest value; even Hadeon had seen that. IfI could use it to keep Jun safe, I would.

"Jun knows this, Tori, but my mother was the one who built the enchantment around Malech's heart for Hadeon. Well, I should say she built it for KingObion, but that's irrelevant now. They discovered that a dragon's heart is the key to its conduit magic. The enchantment around it not only keeps it safe but also binds the heart to Hadeon, conducting magic directly to him. That is how he has been able to keep his magic strong after all these centuries. It's quite an elaborate enchantment, actually, the most elaborate one that has ever existed. It was truly a work of artistry that my mother created, combining the newest theorems on spatial control with ancient rites on power transference in a way…" I cut myself off as Tori's eyes started glazing over, but Jun was grinning.

"What?" Pallas, would you stop with your droning on and on; it's tedious. Hadeon's words rang in my head, and I hated how they made me shrink into myself.

"I love when you get so excited about enchantments. Your face always lights up," Jun said, still smiling.

Hewas too good for me. Those very enchantments had been what bound him to Hadeon, but he smiled at me. I saw the pain in his heart, as I'm sure his sister did, but he soothed the ache in mine I long thought was permanent. Of course, I would never leave him. I had failed him before; I would not do that again.

Isaw Tori's fist clench on the piece of paper she was holding. "So, we were right. We need to break that enchantment, and then Hadeon will be powerless."

"No, he will still have his fae magic, a magic that was strong enough to defeat Malech."

"And that is different from what I have?"

"When you channel, what does it feel like?"

Shepressed her lips together. "Like a flow… a river of power. It's like I'm trying to guide water with just my bare hands."

"You're able to control mana, at least a small amount. You can guide the very magic of the earth; that's something no fae has ever been able to do."

"Then what was magic before?" Tori inquired.

"Fae used to be born with a small well of their own power; Animavitaorfae magic. Each was unique, something that resonated with the fae's soul. Jun's voice is an example, and Hadeon's lightning is another. They can manifest their magic until that well runs dry. It will replenish with time, but it is a slow process."

"The amount of power each fae had was different; some had more than others, while other folks, such as the Huldu, were especially gifted. Even some humans had it, but the fae tried to hide that fact. It was actually weakest among the royal lines." I gave a soft chuckle. "Except for the Corignus line… which now makes more sense." The small humor I found left me. "As you can imagine, the fae kings weren't so happy about not having their own power."

Tori'sface darkened. "No, I can't imagine they were. Something that anyone could have; power they weren't able to control and horde."

"ButHadeon is royal, and his power was legendary before he even defeated Malech, "Jun interjected.

Hadeon isn't royal. I didn't say it. Every day I spent away from him, I realized more and more the abuse that I suffered under him. Nevertheless, I still couldn't bring myself to say his greatest shame.

Luckily, neither twin questioned it further. "So, the royals found another way. Enchantments, correct?"

Inodded. "Enchantments were originally developed by magi to enhance their magic and allow them to expand what they could do with more precise control. But then it was discovered they could guide mana. They act as a way for fae to tap into the earth's power. A small spark of animavita is all that is needed to activate them, and then a trade is made for the power."

"A trade?"

Inodded. "A fae with magic can offer up a small amount of their power, but one can also use—"

"Their lifeforce." Tori locked eyes with me. "Wouldn't there still be a limit on how much power one could use until the extent of one's lifeforce is up?"

"I never said that only the enchanter's lifeforce could be used."

Aterrible realization dawned on her face. "The great beasts. They were hunted to power fae magic."

"Yes. Nothing could compare to the power released at their death. KingObion's entire kingdom was built on the souls of more beasts than can be counted. The more that were killed, the greater the price became until the earth no longer responded to our enchantments' call."

"But some still remain?"

"Yes. With enough fae magic, one doesn't need mana to power an enchantment. Hadeon can power every enchantment he has ever needed with just his own power. Abraxas was doing the same here, if to a lesser extent."

Torinodded. "I understand the earth withholding its power, but what about fae magic? Why has that also disappeared?"

"That is… the great mystery. My mother spent the last decades of her life trying to discern why mana stopped responding and animavita faded. She never found an answer."

"But you have an idea." The princess didn't pose it as a question. "Say what you are thinking, Pallas."

"I have never been a mother, but I can imagine if I saw my children being killed for the selfish gains of the fae. I would fight back, too."

"Do you think that's the reason why magic started to fade?"

Ishrugged my shoulders. "Just a theory."

Bothtwins held my gaze a bit longer before the princess shook her head. "We are getting off track. Why did you say I don't have any magic?"

"Well, much like Hadeon, aren't you also bound to a dragon's heart?"

Theroom was quiet for a very long time. "That seems quite… literal."

Ishrugged. "Mother always said that magic had the most depraved sense of humor."

"So, I can conduct because I am bound to a dragon's heart. But dragons had magic of their own, why don't I?"

"The same reason many of us don't, I would assume. You will need to have contact with someone who has innate fae magic to channel, someone who hasn't lost that ability."

"AndI was really looking forward to blowing something up." She leaned back in her chair and sighed.

"Even when magic still flowed freely, most magi needed glyphs or other guidance to use their powers, an anchor to hold and guide the magic. Hadeon, your brother… they are special exceptions."

"AndLuxos?" Tori raised a brow at me.

"Luxos is able to wield magic, but he needs extensive glyph tattooing to wield it as he does now." Tori's eyebrows rose even higher in a silent question, but I didn't take the bait.

Juninterjected, "What about Tori's fire?"

Ipaused with my fingers on my chin. "I have been wondering that myself. I assume it is shared between you and Abraxas through the bond you share. So little is known about dragon magic; it is difficult to say." Tori's hand came to rest on her chest, and a disturbing thought struck me. "This also means that if something should happen to Abraxas, your powers will disappear."

Herface grew cold. "I won't let that happen." She looked at the book in front of her again before slamming it closed. "None of this matters if I can't figure out how to help him. I don't even know how much longer I can wait."

"Maybe it's time you talked to him again."

Herforehead creased. "I don't know if that will be possible, even in the dreams."

"You're afraid?"

Shestiffened defensively. "He was out of control. I don't know how I could even get him to listen."

"Well… I've been thinking about that and have a few ideas." I pulled a few pieces of blank paper towards me and sketched out a glyphic pattern, explaining to her what it would do. "This should allow you to manipulate the dreaming environment to whatever you desire. It was used for… well, I'm sure you can imagine."

Awicked grin crossed her face. "It's always the quiet ones you should be the most worried about."

Iblushed. "I never used it for that! I never had magic of my own, so I couldn't activate enchantments anyway."

"But you still learned so much about them?"

"I enjoyed the challenge, which was good since I didn't have much choice." I remembered the harsh sting of my mother's rod across the back of my hands and rubbed them absentmindedly. "Besides, it will be good practice for your channeling." She nodded.

BeforeTori went to bed that night, I painted the glyphs on her forehead. I felt her conducting mana and the glyphs glowed a soft white. "Sweet dreams, Princess."