CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO Mad Bell

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Mad Bell

Takin' it slow was a good thing.

Or so I kept tellin' myself.

Yeah, Maisy and I had known each other just shy of a year at this point, but that didn't mean we'd spent that time wisely. I was trying to make up for it but I also didn't want to push. If this was going to work, I had to believe that things would come in their own time.

That wasn't to say I was going to be lazy.

Maisy meant a lot to me, and I was determined to let her know that every chance I got. She was special and she deserved someone who made her feel that way. Honestly, it wasn't a hardship. I didn't think Maisy went soft for most people, but she did for me. It was all about the look in her eyes. Half glazed over and half dopey, almost like she had hearts dancing in there. I'd never tell her that shit, of course. I valued my nuts.

That was another thing: I knew my woman— yeah, my woman— and I knew how to silently appreciate some of the things about her because that was the way she'd rather have it.

So, takin' it slow was how we were doing this.

But I was finding it hard.

I might not have been the most talkative person, but I was trying for her. It made me question if I could do this relationship thing. Made me wonder if I was cut out for it. Maisy assured me that she wasn't going anywhere. She made me feel like I was more than I felt on the inside, and I wanted to be that man for her.

"Are you daydreaming over there, Chef?" Maisy asked, a humorous ring to her tone.

"No," I grunted as I looked down and finished saucing the last set of ribs. I wasn't going to let her know I'd been thinkin' deeply.

"Liar," she whispered in my ear.

"Fine," I said, focusing a little too hard on the task in front of me. I'd made food for a lot of the brothers, but this was my first time making food for a cookout. I couldn't say why I was nervous, but I was. Probably didn't help that I was stressing myself out with thoughts of other things too. "I'm trying to go at your pace but I don't know how to do it."

I set down the sauce-coated brush and turned around to face her. We were the only ones in the club kitchen, but I couldn't say how much longer we'd have before the Old Ladies started swarming, moving in to take over the place so they could make all the sides for the night.

Maisy pressed into me, and I wrapped my arms around her to keep her there.

"Talk to me, Maddie," she said as she popped a quick kiss on my lips.

"I just want to make sure you're happy."

"I am," she replied instantly. "Did I give you the impression that I wasn't?"

There was a knowing twinkle in her eyes. She knew she hadn't given me the impression she wasn't happy, and this was just some stupid insecurity I was letting eat at me.

"Is there something more?" she asked. Her arms went around my neck and she held my gaze.

There was something so sexy about the way she always gave me eye contact. It told of her strength. Of how she wouldn't back down from something just because the subject scared her, or she wasn't thrilled to talk about it. I didn't think that was the case now, but it did remind me that there was something I'd been holding in.

"I love you," I said, putting it all out there while I held her tighter.

My eyes threatened to close because I was scared to see her face, but I kept them open. I wanted to remember this moment forever because I was punching my insecurities down with every second that ticked by. She'd never given me any indication that she wasn't in this as much as I was, and it was silly of me to think such a thing.

A bright smile appeared on her face. My eyes were glued to it and I couldn't look away. Damn, she was so beautiful.

"And before you go askin' something ridiculous like if I'm sure," I went on because I knew my woman, "let me tell you that I am sure. I've been sure. I will always be sure. I love you. Love your smile. Your personality. Your mind. Your ass… definitely love this ass." I gave her ass a good squeeze, smiling for a moment before sobering again. I had to get this all out. "I know I've got it right this time. This is me giving you my future. I mean, I've already given it to you, but I want to say it so you will hear it."

"That's a lot," she said, eyes wide. Only I couldn't tell if there was a hint of playfulness in her tone or fear. This was the very thing I was scared of.

"I know," I said, doing my best to keep my voice even while praying my heart didn't beat out of my chest. "I think you can handle it."

"I think I can too," she said sweetly. "I never really saw a future with someone before." I nodded because I'd already figured that much out. "It wasn't something I felt I needed. But, I'm starting to see that I want it with you."

I smiled. That was a lot for her and I was thankful for every piece of it.

Yeah, I noticed she didn't say she loved me back, but I didn't let it get to me. She didn't need words because sometimes she couldn't hide it from her face. It was all in the eyes. Those beautiful sapphire eyes. So soulful and open for me.

"Your lease is up in two months," I hedged.

"It is."

"Have you renewed?"

"Not yet," she said. Though her tone was casual, I could see more behind her eyes. It wasn't simply that she'd forgotten or was putting it off. So maybe I wasn't so far off in what I was about to ask.

"You think Hot Mess would like my place?" I raised a brow along with the question.

I'd been to Maisy's place quite often. We slept at Maisy's more than mine because I knew my woman hated leaving her cat alone, even though Hot Mess probably preferred to have the place to herself. The sad-looking cat was rightfully named, but she was my buddy. Maisy liked to say that she saw a kindred spirit in me and that was the reason the cat always draped herself on the back of the couch behind me. It was when she curled up in my lap that amused me the most. No matter how many times Maisy saw it, her jaw always dropped open like it was a shock. I liked the cat, and I might have already bought a few things for her that I'd kept hidden in a closet. I didn't want Maisy to feel any pressure.

"I don't know," Maisy said, blue eyes blinking up at me, "I think it would depend on if I could go with her too."

"Maisy Daisy Jane," I said, and she rolled her eyes at me, "I hate going to sleep without you, and it sucks waking up alone in the bed. My days are always better when you're there. I'm just puttin' this out there, but there's no pressure. If you're not ready, that's fine. I'll still be here."

"Oh, my God!," she cut in with frustration. "Just ask me to move in already."

"You don't make things easy," I told her.

"You knew what you were signing up for. How the hell did I get you in the first place? It wasn't because I was nice to you and left you alone."

"That's true." I gave a quick nod. "Move in with me."

She huffed. I imagined she'd be putting her hands on her hips hadn't I been holding her tight against my body. And it amused the hell out of me.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" she shot back.

"I'm tellin' you that I want you to move in with me." My lips twitched with a smile, but I held her eyes so she would know that behind the teasing I really meant I wanted her to move in with me.

She huffed again and it was all I could do to hold back a laugh. She was so damn cute when she got riled up.

"You can still have your girls' nights," I went on. "I'll leave the house. Got no problem doing that. Anything to make you happy."

"You make me happy," she mumbled.

"What was that?" I teased, cocking my ear in her direction. I smiled even as she cut her eyes at me.

"Only if you make us food before you leave," she tossed out instead of repeating what she'd said. I knew she was playin', but I had no problem whipping up something for her and Stella even if I didn't get to stick around and eat it. I hadn't met Maisy's best friend yet, but I'd heard plenty. Like most things, I knew it would come in time. It was a matter of waiting until Maisy was ready.

I let out a small laugh under my breath. This was why I'd fallen for her, why I was in love with her. Why I wasn't going to let her go.

"Come on, Maze," I whispered, lowering my mouth to hers. I hung there, breathing in her breaths as I held her gaze.

She was about to give me an answer, and I knew by the look in her eyes it was going to be a yes.

The room became full as the Old Ladies began filling in. It was awkward as hell. I sighed heavily as I released my woman, trying not to be disappointed about not getting that answer verbally. That was fine. Patience was key with Maisy. I just had to keep showing her that I wasn't going anywhere. She could take as long as she needed or torture me as long as it made her happy, I wasn't sure which it was. Either way, I was gonna be there.

Cat sent me a wave and I sent her a chin jerk back. Her best friend was Payback, and they shared a partner, Wrench. I didn't think I'd ever seen three people closer than the three of them.

"Alright, Mad Bell, go get that meat cooking," Laurel said. Her husband was one of the former Enforcers. She was also Cat's mom and unofficially the head of the Old Ladies. "Maisy?"

"Yes, ma'am?" Maisy said, her back going straight. Laurel had this way of being able to mix authority with sweetness. Clearly, Maisy was responding to the former.

"You're with us. Do you mind chopping some onions?" Laurel asked. She was the kind of woman who was hard to say no to. I opened my mouth, fully prepared to stand up for my woman because I knew how much she hated chopping onions. Besides, I kinda owed her for the dick move I pulled back during the prep work for the Chili for Charity. But it seemed I didn't need to.

"Please, no," Maisy said. "I would love to help. I will cut, dice, and chop until my fingers are numb, but I cannot do onions."

Laurel froze for a second. Then the widest smile broke out across her face.

"Yeah, you'll fit in just fine around here," Ryan, Prez's stepmom, said as she patted Maisy on the back. "Welcome to the Old Ladies' Club."

"We don't call it that," Bridget said with a friendly scowl aimed at Ryan. Her husband was one of the old timers.

It just hit me how big this place was… how big this family was. Yeah, that was what it was. It was my family now too. I'd realized it along the way and now I was trying to accept it. Accept that I was part of it and I wanted to be more involved. I still wasn't a social butterfly, and no one expected me to be, especially not Maisy. But the brothers kept inviting me to do shit and Maisy kept encouraging me to go to things like this party tonight. Of course, it helped that she planned on coming so she got to drag me out of the house. I think she actually liked doing that shit, but you wouldn't catch me sayin' it.

"Mad Bell, out." Laurel shot me a raised brow with her stern command that had me grabbing up my meat, kissing my woman quickly, then hightailing it outta there.

Maisy was the type of person who would just leave if she didn't want to be there, but I had a good feeling she was gonna be fine. In fact, there was something deep down tellin' me that she needed this. With her dad being a piece of shit, and one of her brothers following suit while the other was playing Switzerland, I was glad I had the club to show her that she had a family here. That she was part of it. I hadn't really had a chance to bring her around the compound yet. This was her first club family get-together.

It was kind of a big deal. Though I wasn't sure Maisy knew that. It was best not to point that out. Better if I just sat back and watched it happen.

I hoped she'd see this could be a good thing. Kinda like a bonus she got being with me, as strange as that sounded.

I smiled as I pushed my way out the back door despite the fact that Maisy hadn't given me a verbal answer. I'd never expect anything from her, but that didn't mean I liked to be left hanging. Hell, I wasn't really worried about it. I knew she'd talk to me when the time was right for her.

"Good to see you, brother," Prez said as he motioned to one of the big grills in the middle of the back lot.

I sent him a smile.

For the first time, I let that feeling of family really sink in.

I let myself see that I was a part of it.

I let myself believe I was worthy of it.