CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE Mad Bell

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Mad Bell

I only had one helmet.

Never thought I'd need another before this moment. And if I was being honest, I never even thought about what would happen once I got here. I just knew I couldn't let Maisy go on thinking she meant nothing to me. I couldn't let her think that she'd done something she felt was morally wrong.

It killed me that she was thinking that.

I agreed with cheating being wrong, so I understood how she felt, even though this situation wasn't that. There was no place in life for cheating. I fully believed that you needed to let one relationship go if it got to that point. Clearly, something wasn't working out. I'd be damned if I hurt people like that. Which was a huge part of why this was tearing me up. Maisy was a good person. She wouldn't do something like that, and she didn't deserve to go around thinkin' she had.

"It's a little big but it'll protect your noggin," I said, strapping my helmet on her head.

"And what about your noggin ?"

"I'll be fine," I said with a smirk as I climbed on my bike. "Come on. Get close. Hold on. And watch that pipe."

"Okay," she replied skeptically as she climbed on and tossed her arms around my waist without hesitation.

Damn, I liked having her this close. Liked the feeling of her riding behind me, and we hadn't even moved yet.

She held on tighter as I took off.

I got lost in riding through the city. I didn't want this moment to end.

This, I thought. I could do this every day.

Then I asked myself why couldn't it be that way. I mean, yes, I had shit I had to handle first. After that, though, what was keeping me from laying it all out there for Maisy? Why couldn't I be the person who she came home to every night? Why couldn't I be the one who got to remind her how amazing she was every single morning?

The ride was over too soon. I pulled into a small parking lot that had nothing around. Why was it here? Not a damn clue. Just like I had no clue how I'd found this little special spot in the first place. I'd only come out here a few times, but I figured somewhere out in the open but still a little private would be the best place to do this.

I'd felt my phone vibrating pretty much the whole ride here. Mostly, I wanted to ignore it, however, there was a part of me that was worried it might be the club. I wouldn't ignore that shit, not for nothing. As I pulled it out, I saw a couple of calls from the Dipshit Prospect. There were also quite a few texts.

"Everything okay?" Maisy asked as she stumbled off my bike.

I opened the text and nearly growled at the images he'd sent. Not that they should have surprised me.

"Is she stealing your stuff?" Maisy asked, and she sounded pissed.

"Yeah," I grunted as I put my phone away. "I had a feeling she'd do some shit like that. That's why I didn't come to work. I don't trust her and I didn't want to leave her in my place alone." My lip curled up just thinking about Rhonda in my house. She'd tainted the place, and now I was half tempted to sell everything and start over.

"Well, go stop her!"

I dismounted and turned to face Maisy, leaning my ass against the seat so we were nearly eye-to-eye.

"Nah," I told her. "What's important is right here."

If I'd ever seen a woman melt, it was right then. It was a sight to see from her, too. Her eyes softened. Her cheeks got pink. Her lips twitched in a way that told me she hated that she didn't hate it.

It only lasted for a second before she sobered. Couldn't blame her. There was a lot of shit I needed to get to before she felt like she could melt at the things I said to her.

"Come on," I said, taking her hand and pulling her to the line of trees that edged the left side of the lot. I wove a path through the skinny, tall trees until the little pier came into view. The thing wasn't nothin' special. It was big enough to fit two chairs if you wanted. I didn't have any chairs or even a blanket. I was kickin' myself for not thinking ahead.

She sat at the end, tossing her legs over the side. The water was so low you could see most of the muddy paths weaving through the overgrown cordgrass. I sat down beside her, following her lead and letting my legs dangle off the side. She was silent, probably waiting for me to talk. And I was silent because I was trying to figure out where the fuck to start.

"I grew up in a tiny, poor town. Shitty fuckin' place that made me feel like I didn't have many options in life if you know what I'm saying." I sighed. Fuck, I hated talking about this shit. "Look, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. My family is shit. Both my parents are still alive… somehow, and I've got two siblings. A sister who is eight years younger than me and a brother who is three years older. I don't have anything to do with them. I left that town five years ago and not once looked back."

"That bad?" she asked, deep concern in her voice.

"Yeah," I admitted. "Every single one of them has been in and out of jail or rehab. Seemed like every other weekend Mom was callin' the cops on Dad cause he either hit her or pissed her off in some way. He's a piece of shit and I swore I'd never be like him. Never get in a relationship like they have. Nah, fuck that."

It was times like this I wished I still smoked. Broke the habit before I turned thirty, but that shit sometimes stayed with you. If ever there was a time I was cravin' one, this was it. I sucked in a lungful of fresh, albeit fishy, air, praying it would do the trick.

"Listen, it's not a great story. I don't want pity, but I just need you to know where I'm comin' from," I told her.

"Okay," she said softly. Her hand reached for mine and she gave me a little squeeze before retreating. I missed the warmth of her hand instantly. "Go on."

"I met Rhonda my last year of high school. Her family had recently moved to town and we had a lot in common. Things were right with her for a long time. Then…"

"Then?"

I grunted, but it wasn't aimed at her.

"Then it all went to shit like everything in my life always does. I hung on too tight… like I always do. I tried to fix it like I tended to do. Took me about four years to realize I couldn't fix it. That I might have been part of the problem."

Maisy's eyes were wide and she looked almost terrified.

"Don't know when or how it happened," I said, thinking back. I still tried to pinpoint the moment things started changing. As much as I tried to ignore the past, sometimes I replayed my life, looking for hints or clues that I'd missed. "We had a simple life. It made me happy, but what I didn't realize was that she wasn't the simple life kinda person." My lips twisted down. Such a shame how it all played out. "She started going out more with her friends. Started partying more. I was never the social type, but I didn't want to hold her back, so I found ways to fill up the times she was gone. One of those things was taking on extra shifts because the more she started going out, the less money we seemed to have. Bills were piling up. Took me a while to catch on that shit wasn't right."

"Was she taking the money?" she asked.

"Yeah. Drugs. Meth, to be exact. It's everywhere in that shit town because people are miserable there and feel trapped. It's the easiest way to get away, I guess."

"Oh," she said, sounding surprised.

"Once I realized, I did everything I could think of to help her. She was in and out of rehab. She'd stay clean for a few months then it would start all over again. I knew the cycle well, but I still thought I could break it. I loved her, ya know, so I couldn't give up on her when she was too sick to take care of herself."

My eyes focused on the marsh. The tall grass waved from side to side in the light breeze. Despite it being fall, it was still hot, but at least the air wasn't thick and unmoving like it normally was. I could feel the beads of sweat forming on my brow and down my back, which made me regret picking a place outdoors to have this conversation.

"I thought at one time we'd get married," I said, cringing at the idea now. She'd fucked me over too much. It took a long time to realize that she wasn't the Rhonda I fell in love with. She hadn't been for a long time. Or maybe I never knew her at all. "I got her a ring, but then everything went to shit. I found out what she'd been doing while she was out. Found out she'd been stealing money for drugs. I told her I wouldn't marry her while she was strung out, and I urged her to get clean. This began the toxic cycle that we lived in for a few years. Then one day, she just up and left. Gone. Not a word."

I was about talked out. The air between us was still, silent. It was clear Maisy didn't know what to say, and I wasn't sure I could make this easier for either one of us. It was a lot, and while I hadn't asked her to shoulder some of it, the fact that I still wanted her in my life said enough.

"But now she's back?" Maisy finally asked. Her voice was a little higher than usual, leaving me to the she wasn't sure if she should talk.

"She's back," I confirmed with a nod.

"And you're… married?"

"It would appear that way. Though I didn't fuckin' know until a few days ago when she came back into my life." I let out a heavy breath. "I don't remember that night. She tricked me while I was drunk. Then she was gone. It's been over six years since I've seen her. I've moved on." I turned to face her. My knee brushed up against the outside of her thigh and I didn't move it. "I put her and that life behind me. It took me a long time to realize we weren't right for each other. She didn't love me, she loved the freedom I gave her."

"So… what does this mean? Why is she here?" She stood abruptly. Her legs paced down to the entrance of the pier and back. Her eyes were focused on everything and nothing at the same time. "What does she want?"

"I'm still tryin' to figure that out," I said. "She hasn't asked for money but I feel it coming. There's a reason she's resurfaced in my life now, but she's not sharing. I don't think that's been a great situation. And that's all I was able to gather from the little bits she's told me. We haven't talked a lot, despite there being a million questions I need answers to. I've been too… angry."

Maisy let out a soft curse but didn't look at me. Yeah, it was a lot, and I knew she was having a hard time digesting it. Couldn't blame her one bit because that shit was a lot.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. Against my better judgment, I ignored it. Maybe it was nothin'. Maybe it was my club calling. Right now, I had to give Maisy my time if I was ever going to work on fixing things between us. At the very least, make it so she didn't hate me and didn't think the worst of me or herself.

"And when you figure it out?" she asked hesitantly. It took her eyes a long moment to drag up to meet mine. It was like she was afraid to see what might be there. I was nothing if not open and honest with her now. I wanted her to have everything, even if I wasn't the one to give it to her.

But, damn, I wanted to be the one.

So badly that it took everything in me not to reach for her. All I wanted to do was hold her and tell her I'd fix this. Tell her I only wanted her.

My phone vibrated again. What the fuck was goin' on?

I sent her an apologetic look as I pulled it out.

The prospect was calling.

"What?" I snapped. I wasn't pissed at him. I should have been thankful because he'd come over to deal with Rhonda and that whole mess so I could talk to Maisy.

"She called the cops," he said coolly as if he wasn't even bothered by me barking at him.

"She what?!" It wasn't him I was pissed at now.

"She called the cops. They're here. Just wanted to let you know in case they take me in."

"Why would they?" I asked.

"Because she's out here raving. She's saying I'm here to watch her and make sure she doesn't leave. That her husband is keeping her locked in the house."

"Christ."

"Gotta go." Then the call ended.

What else?! Huh? What else was the fucking universe going to throw at me? Could I not get at least one thing in my life right? All I wanted to do was make things right with Maisy. I knew I couldn't do that when I still had to deal with Rhonda and the shit she'd brought with her, but I also couldn't leave Maisy thinking the worst.

Fuckin' rock and a hard place. Or some would say I was in a pickle.

"What's wrong?" Maisy asked.

"Rhonda called the cops on the Dipshit Prospect. They're at my house now."

Her eyes went wide, and before I could tell her I needed to take care of it, she was stomping down the pier toward my bike. "Come on," she called over her shoulder.

"I'm not done with this conversation," I said as I jogged to catch up with her. "I'm gonna make it up to you."

"Let's save the prospect first, then we'll deal with…" Her hand waved in the air with no real sense of purpose. She tossed the helmet on and looked at me impatiently before pointedly looking at the seat of my bike.

Despite the situation, I couldn't help but laugh. She was so damn cute right now, but I didn't think she'd appreciate me tellin' her that.

I stepped right up to her and held her eyes as I said, "I'm gonna sort it out and I'm gonna clear up this marriage shit. My future isn't with her, Maze. It really never was."

I left the rest unsaid for right now. I figured it would be too much for her. Yeah, she wasn't ready to hear how she was the only one I could think of.

She blinked up at me, her blue eyes shining, and I didn't doubt she picked up where I was goin' with that.

Neither of us acknowledged it as I tossed my leg over my bike and waited for her to climb on. I'd tell her soon enough, I promised that much.

First, I had to save the damn prospect.