CHAPTER SIXTEEN Maisy

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Maisy

I dried the last pan by hand and put it away in its proper place. Mad Bell's precious cookware didn't go through the dishwasher, I knew that much. I took a minute to look around and a smile spread across my face. The place was as spotless as it could be. All I wanted was for him to come in tomorrow and get lost in doing what he loved. I didn't want him worrying about the fact that he wasn't the one who cleaned up at the end of the night or thinking about all the things he'd have to fix.

Despite his pissy attitude, I wanted nothing more than for him to enjoy his party.

As I moved to flick off the lights, I couldn't help but think back to earlier.

There was a bigger reason behind not being a fan of celebrating his birthday than his usual hate for anything fun. I had no doubt that some of it came from his family situation, not that he gave me much on that front.

But he did give you something. He opened up to you, even if it was just a hint.

Butterflies danced in my stomach as I thought back to that moment. There had been something there, and I couldn't deny it. Things had changed between us. But I didn't know how it changed or what it meant.

Did I want more of him? To know him in ways I don't?

Yeah. Yeah, I did. It was a horrible time to realize that there were a lot of things about Mad Bell that I wanted. Him naked under me while I rode myself over the edge, for one. I also wanted to know him. I wanted all of his secrets and hardships. I wanted to help shoulder his burdens. And that was a very strange feeling for me.

However, I had no clue how he was feeling. As much as I wished it, I couldn't see inside the guy's head to figure it out.

With a sharp shake of my head, I decided it was time to slip out the back and head home. Tonight was not the night to sort out what was going on between us. I figured I shouldn't hang around. He didn't want this party, so I couldn't imagine he wanted me here either. There was no sense in making it max miserable for both of us.

But… I couldn't resist one little peek.

In the darkness, I felt like a voyeur as I moved to the window and looked out into the bar. There was a light haze that I already suspected since the scent of good weed hung in the air. I laughed to myself as I shook my head, surprised that there was a smile on my face.

It was everything I expected to see. Twigs was chatting up a busty woman with flame orange and red hair while having his arm wrapped around another woman with a backside that her pants could barely contain. Boom stood beside Twigs and his action, focus split between his phone and Twigs' wondering hands. Bandit and Villain stood in the corner together, beers in hand and both their eyes sharp on the action around them.

My brow furrowed when I realized that I saw a lot of brothers but not the one this party was for. Did he manage to sneak out without anyone noticing? An amused smile flirted with the corners of my mouth. It would be just like Mad Bell to do that, and this far into the party, it was likely that barely anyone noticed.

Alright, it was time to go. I looked forward to giving Mad Bell shit tomorrow for sneaking out.

I tossed my apron in the dirty bin and made sure I had my keys in my hand before I headed into the hall. I prayed there weren't any back hall shenanigans going on since it was my plan to slip out the back. It wasn't like I cared if one of the brothers was getting a blow job in a darkened corner, it was more that I just didn't want to deal with anything stopping me from fleeing.

The back exit was a few feet in front of me, and I thought I was in the clear until I saw a shadow move next to the door. I gasped in shock. Then quickly realized I didn't feel that prickle of danger so I quickly relaxed.

"Maddie?" I said, sounding confused as I squinted my eyes like that would help me see better in the dim light.

He stepped out, eyes a little glassy and wild. The red light of the exit sign lit up his pinched features as he cocked his head and stared straight into my fucking soul.

I opened my mouth to say something, but quickly realized that I didn't know what to say. The way he was looking at me wasn't something I'd ever seen before. At least not from him.

His hand reached out, and a second later it was wrapped around the back of my head. As he pulled me closer, there wasn't a single part of me that felt the urge to fight whatever was to come.

I stared into his eyes as he studied me up close. His nose was inches from mine. I felt his breath on my face. His scent filled my nose. Grease and spices with a hint of fresh salt and lemon underneath that I knew was all Mad Bell outside the kitchen. I hated the smell of cooked meat. Any meat really. I couldn't stand it. But on him… well, I often hated myself because sometimes the scent on him made my mouth water.

He pulled me closer, his arms going around my waist as his head pressed into the crook of my neck. A shiver threatened to shake my whole body as he took a deep inhale. He groaned. The kind of groan that said a man was being brought to his knees. I didn't fight it as my lids fell closed and I released myself to him.

"Maddie," I whispered as I threaded my fingers through his hair. If this was just a moment, I was going to hold on for all it was worth.

"I can't," he said, and I would have sworn I heard the hiss of someone dousing a fire.

"Can't what?" I asked as I pulled back and held his gaze. "Why?"

His head shook, and I lost his eyes as he sighed heavily.

First of all, I didn't have a damn clue what was going on here. And second, if I was going to pretend this was happening, I wasn't sure why we were here now . After months of irritating each other. Of me getting under his skin and him hating every single minute of it. How had we gone from keeping all this distance between us to… this? To him being so close I could taste the rum on his breath. And, oh, how it fucking turned me on.

"I don't think I have anything left to give," he said so low I nearly didn't hear him. "They take and they take. All I've ever done is give everything I had to people who don't deserve it…" I held him tighter as he took a deep breath in. "And now I don't have anything left to give to the people who might actually deserve it. The person I want to have it."

I pulled away to look into his eyes. Though less glassy now, I still felt like he had to be under some kind of influence to share this much of himself with me.

I shouldn't take advantage of this moment. It was a fucked up thing to even entertain. I needed to get him back out to the party. Or at the very least, find a brother to get him safely to his room at the compound.

I swallowed hard before I told him, "Maybe you should let them figure out just how much you have left to give. Maybe you have more than you think you do. Maybe…"

I was suddenly choked up with my heart hammering in my chest and my brain struggling to actually put words together.

"Maybe, what?" he asked, his voice deep and low. Almost a whisper, you know, if Mad Bell even had a whisper function.

His eyes darted to my lips. His arms were strong around my waist. Not in a way that had me feeling trapped. No, this was completely the opposite. I felt like I was in a bubble and we were locked in our own little world. Nothing else mattered but what happened next. I was all in for whatever it was.

"Maze." His hot breath rolled across my lips as he shortened my name. A shiver snaked its way down my spine and I held onto him for dear life as my knees threatened to buckle.

This man.

This fucking man!

I lived to rile him up and make him hate me, yet I also craved his approval in ways I never saw myself doing. It should have pissed me off, and sometimes it did. I wanted to hate him. I knew I should keep my distance from him because he wasn't one to want people around. He didn't like people, least of all people who constantly poked him and stoked his grumpy fire.

This wouldn't end well.

We weren't two people that were compatible. We were… a disaster in the making. An old building just waiting for a strong wind to make it crumble. He needed someone less loud and abrasive, and I needed someone… who loved life a little more. Someone who I didn't feel this need to impress because, to them, I was already good enough the way I was.

Even as the rational part of my brain pointed all of this out, I couldn't stop myself from leaning into him when the clear signal that he wanted to kiss me was blinking like a neon sign on the side of a strip club.

His lips met mine and I melted. I had wanted this for a long time, but I didn't know exactly how badly I needed it. I hated myself for it too, but it wasn't like I wasn't going to stop.

I kissed him back, holding on for dear life. In a darkened corner near the back exit, we were in our own world. I didn't care who saw or who didn't. All I cared about was taking and giving and kissing and… well, I wasn't sure how far this was going to go, but I was ready for it.

"Let me take you back to my room," he said as he pulled away from my mouth.

I was silent as I studied his face. His lips were shiny from our perfectly sloppy kissing. His brow was scrunched intensely. His eyes were focused.

"You're not drunk?" I had to ask. If we were going to do this, I needed to know that he knew it was happening.

His head shook slowly, his gaze never letting go of that lock they had on me. "Just enough to finally get it right."

I bit my lip and nodded once. Maybe his words didn't make sense but I understood them.

That was all he needed. He whisked me out the back door with an arm hooked around my waist. I let out a laugh, unable to keep it down. My head spun, my thoughts raced. The air was thick and heavy as we hurried down the dirt road toward the compound. With the line of trees, it felt incredibly eerie walking at this time of night.

No words were said. It was just us, the sounds of the night, and the feeling of his hand in mine as he practically dragged me behind him. I was scared to say anything. Would the wrong thing bring this to a screeching halt?

You know what? Fuck that. I wasn't that girl. If I wanted to say something, I was going to say it. If someone didn't like me for who I was, fuck 'em.

As I thought that, I realized I didn't actually have anything to say.

Mad Bell made me stupid. Yeah. That had me shaking my head.

We were like burglars in the night as we rounded the back of the compound building and climbed the steps to the second floor.

My smile grew with each door we passed. This was happening.

It's about time.