Prologue

Mad Bell

I wasn't one to complain. Didn't ever talk about my shit. It was my shit and I would be the one to fix it or walk away, whatever the situation called for. That was the way I was raised. The only way I knew.

I still had that mindset at thirty-five.

Hold it all in. Deal with it myself. Don't ever let anyone see your weaknesses.

So not only did I have ulcers from dealing with the shitty hand life had dealt me, but I was also so jaded that I hardly trusted anyone I came in contact with.

It wasn't until I found the Steel Paragons MC about five years ago that I began to see that maybe there was a place for me. That maybe there were people who weren't going to take pieces of me until I had nothing left, then kick me once I was down.

The Paragons gave me a home. Gave me a brotherhood, even if I tended to keep myself on the outskirts of it. They even gave me a kitchen in the back of a bar, which was the only thing that made me happy.

I didn't have much of myself left to give, but what little I did have, I gave it to the club. My way of paying it back, I supposed.

The life I had now was simple and I planned on keeping it that way.

I wouldn't have said this was where I saw my life ending up. Far from it, actually. I had dreams when I was younger. But that was the thing about dreams, they weren't real, and some of them eventually had to die. Maybe that was why we had so many, especially when we were a kid. When you were barely wet behind the ears, life was nothing but possibilities, and you could paint that picture however you wanted, change it whenever you wanted. As a kid dreaming about the future, no choice could ever be wrong. If only that kind of hope could have lasted.

It was a shame how life could jade us so.

I wasn't saying I hated where life had taken me. I didn't. I finally felt settled for the first time in… say, ten years.

Settled was gonna have to be good enough. I'd resigned myself to that. And it wasn't like I was unhappy. I made my own kind of comfort in my day-to-day life. Like the comfort of walking through the back door of the bar and seeing everything as it should be the moment I turned on the lights in the kitchen. The comfort of starting the grill and feeling the heat fill up the space slowly. The comfort in mixing the seasonings, making the sauces, and finally getting the chili just right. You know, all the things I took pride in, and in turn, gave my club another thing to be proud of too. Or at least I hoped it was that way.

I never wanted much in life. Simplicity was always my best friend.

I think I'd finally reached that here. Which should have made me happy, but somehow the weight of the shit I'd been through was always there. It kept my roots locked into the dirt of the past and my head skeptical of everything in front of me. Didn't matter that I was aware of it, I couldn't seem to shake it. Maybe at this point, I didn't even want to.

For now, I couldn't ask for more. I had a bunch of brothers who had my back even for the little shit. I had a place to call home. And I had a nice, quiet, drama-free work environment.

"Hey," Payback said, catching me off guard. I turned from the grill to see him standing just over the threshold of the kitchen. My eyes moved from his annoyingly cheerful face to the woman standing beside him. At first glance, there wasn't anything special about her. Long, mahogany hair. Deep blue eyes. A little color on her lips but that was the only makeup I could see. "This is Maisy. She'll be starting here next week."

"Hi," she said, giving a little wave with the word.

Her smile was wide. Friendly, but not overly sweet. Like, maybe on the surface she was nice but behind that fa?ade, there was someone who had a little bite to them. A little backbone, maybe? I couldn't say.

I nodded, saying nothing. It wasn't out of character for me. I started to turn back to the grill, but something stopped me. I caught the way her smile faltered for a fraction of a second before she forced her lips wide again. Only this time there was something in her eyes that turned sharp. A grunt itched its way up my throat as I forced myself to give her my back.

"That's just him," Payback said. It was like he was excusing a relative for their shitty behavior, or at least that was how it felt. What did I care? I didn't. She was hired to work here, not to be my friend. All we had to do was be civil to one another.

"Oo-kay," she replied back, the word sounding tight and strained.

Then they were out of my space and I didn't give it another thought for the rest of the day.