Chapter 10

Astrid

"Hey,are you on home arrest too?" Nara asks when I answer the call, and I sigh.

"Yep."

"Are you at Caden's house?"

"Yeah. It's nice. Better than being stuck with my parents," I say with a bitter laugh.

"I bet. So… you and Caden?" She says, and I know what she's hinting at.

"You and Jude," I counter.

"It's kind of wild, isn't it? I mean, a few days ago, I was certain that I would never settle down and my biggest problem was finding a job," she muses.

"And now?"

"And now I have a fated mate, someone that I didn't even realize was a thing before like a week ago," she says with a laugh. "I still need to find a job, though."

"It's been a bit hard to wrap my brain around everything," I admit. "I mean, shifters are real and apparently, I'm fated to be with this guy that I barely know. I can't deny my feelings, though. I mean, the pull between us is unlike anything that I've ever experienced."

"Same," she agrees.

There's a definitive difference between the way Nara talks about Jude and the way I'm talking about Caden. I think she can notice it too, judging by the pause in our conversation.

"How are things going between you two? We haven't really had a chance to talk much in the last couple of days," she says, trying to ease into things.

I know that we're both thinking about the full moon and the mating heat last night. Caden told me about Jude being a bear shifter and that he realized that Nara was his mate on the same night and time that he realized that I was his fated mate.

"Things were good."

"Were?" She asks, and I sigh.

"He left me this morning."

"Yeah, Jude called him after the shooting," she says, and I nod even though she can't see me.

"I know, but the way that he left…" I trail off, trying to put my thoughts and feelings into a coherent sentence. "He was so… cold. So distant and just completely unlike how he normally is. I guess it just threw me off."

"And reminded you of your parents," she guesses.

"That's it exactly. I've spent years watching my parents go from calm to agitated or pissed or cold. I've grown used to seeing the signs before that switch flipped inside them, but I didn't see any of the signs with Caden."

It feels good to say it out loud to someone, to speak my greatest fear into the world.

"What if he's just like them?" I whisper.

"Oh, Astrid," Nara says sympathetically. "He's not. You wouldn't have fallen for him if he was."

"I barely know him, Nara. I mean, we met these guys less than a week ago."

"But it's real. I know that it is, and you do too."

"Maybe," I waver, "but I'm not sure I want to deal with all of this. Even if Caden is my other half, I'm not sure I want to deal with all of the drama that seems to come with the MCs in this town."

"I know," she whispers, and I feel like a dick talking about her family like that.

"I'm sorry, Nara."

"No, no offense. We both know how terrible they are, and truth be told, I hope that Jude throws out or kills all of the Midnight Rebels."

I'm kind of shocked by her words. I mean, I know that there's no love lost between her and her family, but I didn't think that she wished them dead.

"You don't really mean that," I insist, but she scoffs.

"I do. I mean, they're out here starting trouble all of the time. They're trying to kill people now, and they're ruining this town. No one is safe while they're still around, and you know it."

She's probably right. I mean, they've really ramped things up a lot in the last few weeks, and now, with the shooting, it's clear that they're escalating with no plan of stopping.

"When do you think that the guys will be back?" I ask.

"Not sure. It sounded pretty bad from what Jude told me."

My stomach cramps, and I wonder why Caden couldn't have told me any of this. He didn't give me any information about what was really going on, how long he would be, or anything. We made plans, and then he ditched me without warning. Am I always going to be second fiddle to the MC? Can I really live like that? Do I even want to?

We're silent for a few moments, and then she speaks.

"What if Caden or Jude are the next ones to be hurt?" I whisper, my stomach cramping at the thought.

"I don't know. I'll talk to Jude. He'll figure out something to get rid of the Midnight Rebels."

Maybe, but what if he can't. What if our men get hurt trying to get rid of them?

All of this just feels like so much. I was on cloud nine up until this morning and now it feels like the curtain has been pulled back and I'm left with so many doubts.

Part of me knows that this isn't the time to talk to him about any of this and I try to swallow down all of my mixed up feelings. I need to be supportive and compassionate right now.

I straighten my shoulders, forcing my doubts aside.

"What are you going to do about Caden?"

"I don't know. I need to figure out if I want to stay with him or get out now before my feelings grow stronger."

"Being with him will be worth it," she promises, and I swallow hard.

"I guess I'm just not as trusting as you are. I don't know. Maybe I just need time to process all of this. It's a lot."

"It will get better. He'll get back soon and you guys can just talk it out."

She sounds so sure, and I want to be that confident, but I can't. I'm scared and unsure.

"Oh! Jude is calling me. I'll call you back in a minute," Nara says, and I swallow my disappointment and hang up.

Maybe Caden will call me soon and give me an update. I try to hold onto that hope, but as the time ticks on and my phone remains silent, that hope dies.

I try to call him the first time around noon, but he doesn't answer or call back. I try again an hour later and then an hour after that with the same luck.

What if he's hurt? What if he went after the Midnight Rebels MC and was shot too?

I pace around his place growing more panicked by the second. Should I leave and try to find him? I try to call Nara to ask about him, but she hasn't heard from him the first time and when I call around eight, she tells me that Jude is home and has been for hours.

Where is Caden?

She promises to call me if she hears anything and I hang up, curling up on the couch and staring out the front window, praying that I'll see the headlight of his motorcycle soon. With each passing minute, I get more stressed out and anxious.

Is this what my life is going to be like with him? Will I always be waiting for a call or him to come home? What if he doesn't? I'm not sure that I could survive that.

Now I need to make a decision.

What do I want more?

A quiet life or Caden?