Chapter 18

With my ass parked in my padded window seat with a thousand tissues scattered all over the floor, and two different books open that I can't concentrate on enough to read, I hear a motorcycle pull up. I draw the sheers back to see it's Beckett. He takes his helmet off, holding it under his arm. He looks tired and sad. Real fucking sad. It's been days since I walked out. I expect him to ring the doorbell and come to my room.

He does push the ringer, but he hands Henry something, then leaves. The asshole can't even face me.

Daddy came home yesterday afternoon, and Mama hasn't left his side. If I'm being honest, I'm upset with her too because she had to know that he has been involved in shady business dealings. I mean who arranges their daughter to get married in America?

Henry knocks on my open door. "This is for you."

"Throw it away."

"I won't do that. The man saved your dad's life, and he deserves a chance to say his piece."

I roll my eyes and blow my nose again. "Lay it on the dresser." It pisses me off that everyone loves Beckett, even after he lied to me.

When he leaves, I snatch it from the dresser and resume my spot, looking out the window. I fondle it until I finally take my finger under the flap and open it.

Tessa,

Our relationship began in an unconventional way. But the result is the same, I'm completely in love with you. In the beginning, my job and career came first. Somewhere along the way, maybe when your dad gave us his blessing to be married on the beach, I realized that you come first. Not just you, but your family.

Family means everything to me, and your family was going to be mine, so I had to figure out a way to do my job and save your dad too. I never wanted you to know about your father's unsavory business associations. Now, I realize that loving someone means loving them despite their flaws. Vanessa and Beau reminded me of that. I never understood why they forgave me, but now, I do. It's because they love me despite my flaws. I hope you love your father and me despite ours.

Know that I'll spend a lifetime loving you and protecting you and our families.

I won't contact you, so you have time to decide whether I'm worth the risk. If you love me, I'll be the man waiting for you on the beach, under a trellis filled with your favorite flowers, and we'll eat gummy bears on the bed to celebrate our honeymoon.

The next two weeks may kill me, waiting on your decision, but you're worth the wait.

Waking up to your effervescent smile every single morning is what I want out of my life.

I hope to see you walking down the wooden-slatted walkway in your Cinderella dress you've always dreamed of wearing on Saturday, July 18th. The day we chose to become husband and wife.

All my love. Forever and always.

Beckett

Behind the letter is another piece of paper and as I flip it, my stomach somersaults. I scan the drawing of me asleep with my hand under my chin. Hairs strewn across my face but with my pearl earring locked in place.

This was the night I introduced you to my family and something changed inside me. I knew I wanted you to be my sunshine and my rock. You're stronger than you know. I sat up in the middle of the night drawing your perfect body, and your face full of grace.

I was falling in love from this very moment. Our marriage may have been arranged, but I tried to take a dagger for you. And now I realized I should have trusted you would understand my secret.

I stare at the penciled drawing with a waterfall streaming down my face. With my knees pulled into my chest, head lowered between my arms, with letter in hand, I'm overwhelmed with emotions. My heart feels like it's being stretched in opposite directions.

Kneeling beside me, my mom says, "Princess." Her arms surround me as I sob.

"Why did he lie? We don't need more money. Why did Daddy get involved in crime?"

"Oh, honey. When people have money, they want more. But you listen to me… that man of yours made it possible for your dad to get out clean. Your father would have been arrested if it weren't for him. He lied because it's his job, and he was desperate to find a way to keep our family safe."

"I know. But being his wife isn't enough. I need a partner who shares everything. It was so easy for him to lie."

"He's an undercover agent, Princess. He can't tell you about his work, but you won't convince me that it was easy for him to lie to you. Maybe to everyone else but not to you."

She kisses my head, and her fingernails trace large circles on my back. There's nothing like your mama scratching your back, soothing your aches and worries.

"Mama, why do you stay with Daddy knowing he's lied to you?"

"Because he's the only man I've ever loved. The only one who twists me inside out. But from now on, it's legal business only and he's asked me to work at the dealership."

Daddy walks in and has a seat by my feet on the window seat. "Sorry, I've disappointed you, Princess. I'm going to ask you one thing, and then I'll never interfere in your love life again. I'll support any choice you make. Does it feel like you can't breathe without him?"

Not what I was expecting him to ask. I sniffle as I shake my head yes.

"Breathing is vital to life and if he's the one who gives you breath, then take the time you need to do what's right for you."

"It bothers me that he could look me in the eyes for weeks and lie to me. He's trained to lie so how will I know if he's telling the truth?"

Daddy takes Beckett's letter, skimming it.

"This feels like truth to me." He lays it on the cushion. "You have a life-changing decision to make. Your mom and I will be downstairs if you want to talk."