Chapter 23

twenty-three

Noah – One Week Later

I check my watch with a sigh, then look up toward the road again.

She’s late.

Rose is working in the diner today with that fucker who tried kissing her, and she’s late getting home. I took her in this morning with the rented SUV, and Natalie promised to bring her home, agreeing with my plan, but they are fucking late….

Did he make another pass at her? Is that why she’s not home yet?

Fuck, would she accept it if he did?

I swallow, my throat suddenly dries with the thought.

Since last week, since hearing my admission, I have ensured that I’m around her as much as possible. If she’s at the diner, Diego and I will have lunch with her, which pisses the fucker off, making my day, and yes, I’m basically marking my territory, but I don’t give a shit. If I’m in the studio I rented with the boys, she’s there with our son for dinner. My evenings are spent with them as much as possible, my nights on her fucking couch.

We haven’t spoken about our past yet, just like she hasn’t kissed me again, but she’s talking to me, telling me all about her pregnancy, her labor, and our son—she’s opening up.

She’s mentioned her course work as well, but there’s no spark in her eyes. I have contacted Kingston University, and they said she could start the animal behavior course in the fall online and even use some of the credits she’s already earned toward it, but they said the scholarship couldn’t be transferred.

I just said okay, and after much arguing, Rafael and I agreed we’d pay half the full amount each.

I won’t have my girl continue a career path she doesn’t enjoy; I refuse to see her suffering in mediocrity, and Rafael agrees.

She’s done everything for our son, and now I’m doing everything for her.

I sigh again, about to check the time, ready to call Rose and most likely ruin the surprise, when a car engine gets my attention. I look up to see an old Ford driving my way, Rose’s figure catching my attention in the passenger seat as she laughs.

I smile wide.

About fucking time.

She doesn’t notice me as she climbs out of the car, waving bye to Natalie, who just grins, winking my way, causing Rose to frown and look my way, too.

Her eyes widen, and I chuckle before noticing she’s changed from her white waitress dress to jeans, boots, and a hoodie.

My hoodie that I bought last year, to be exact.

Now, how in the hell did she get that?

I raise a brow and ask her just that. “Now, how did you get hold of that?”

Natalie beeps her horn and drives off, grinning.

Rose’s cheeks redden as she admits, “You weren’t supposed to see I had it.” I smirk, and she shrugs. “Finders keepers.”

Honestly, the smile that overtakes my face at her repeated words from high school cannot be stopped.

I grin and ask, “From my bedroom?”

She shrugs again. “Barnett’s finders keepers, then, before he gifted it to me….”

I laugh, shaking my head, and state, “What’s mine is yours Rose, it always has been.” Her eyes tear up, and I hold my arms out to my sides and ask, “So what do you say, Petal? Fancy making my twenty-first birthday wish come true and come for a ride with me?”

Her eyes go behind me to what I’m leaning on, and her tears fall, realizing I want to take the bike that she bought me out together.

She nods and admits, “I would love nothing more, but Diego?—”

I cut her off, “Is with Uncle Barn and Cam, most likely learning his first curse word.”

She nods again with a small smile and walks over to me, but I don’t move. Instead, I spread my legs and, most likely on pure instinct, Rose walks into my awaiting arms, her nose going straight into the crook of my neck. I sigh with contentment as I wrap my arms around her tightly, keeping her to me.

“You want to talk, don’t you?” she inquires after a few minutes, and I hum against her head.

“I can’t lose you again, Rose, and right now, it doesn’t feel like I have you. I lost your trust, and I know I need to gain it back, but I can’t if you don’t let me in. All week you’ve kept it platonic, and Petal, we have never been friends.” She pulls back and raises a brow, and I grin a boyish grin and admit, “You’re the love of my life, Rose, you’re my best friend , but we’ve never been platonic friends.”

She nods, happy with my words, and I chuckle and kiss her forehead. “Climb on, my Petal. I finally get to live out one of my dreams.”

She smiles and pulls back, but my hands grip her hips.

Things may be up in the air right now—they have been for two years—but in this position, nothing changes.

She rolls her eyes, goes to her tiptoes, and gently caresses her lips with mine before pulling back. I groan, making her laugh.

“I swear, after we have this talk, my lips are not moving from yours for at least an hour.”

She snorts as I grumble, and I climb onto the bike before grinning at the feel of it. When I look at Rose, a few tears have fallen, hurting my heart.

This is something that should have happened two years ago, but I fucked up.

Smiling gently at her, I hold my hand out, and she takes it willingly, allowing me to help her on. Instantly, she scoots forward so her front is pressed against my back, her arms tightly wrapped around me, and fuck me, if this isn’t the best feeling in the world, next to holding her and my son in my arms.

Starting the bike, I spin away from the parking lot, making Rose squeal and laugh, gripping my waist, and I chuckle, going faster.

We ride around for about two hours before I pull off onto a dirt track, stopping about a mile in, near the lake.

Rose climbs off as I put the kickstand down, and climb off myself. I grab the blanket from the side saddle, then go over to the tree, place the blanket down, and sit, leaning my back against the tree. I look over to Rose and smile as she looks at the view, then looks my way.

I hold my hand out to her, and she walks over and takes it but squeaks when I pull her down, maneuvering her between my bent legs, her back to my front, and I wrap my arms around her waist, placing my face into the crook of her neck.

“Thank you, Petal,” I whisper into the quietness.

She gently traces the R tattoo and asks, “For what?”

I smile. “For the bike. For giving me something when money was tight because your father never helped you, for giving me Diego, and for always loving me.”

I feel a few drops of wetness hit my skin, and I hold her tighter.

“I couldn’t stop loving you, even if I wanted to Noah,” she admits, and I skim my lips over her skin, listening to her. “From the first moment we laid eyes on each other, even at thirteen, I knew you would consume me. I knew I wouldn’t want a life without you. You became my reason to live and to breathe, and when you left, God, I went into survival mode. I was pregnant, and that mean I couldn’t let myself break.

“Dad had kicked me out, and you were gone, and I just…I knew I couldn’t just think, I had to act. So I got on the bike, and even though I was pregnant, I rode until I needed gas, and that’s when I saw the hiring sign for Katie’s.” She leans her head back, and I press my cheek against hers, linking our fingers over her stomach. “I never stopped thinking about you, but I promised never to look you up.” She takes a deep breath. “After I gave birth alone, I caved and I sent one picture of Diego to dad, who ignored it, and one to you, which failed to deliver. It was then I knew I was truly alone.”

My heart hurts, her words tearing me apart….

Gritting my teeth to control my emotions, I rasp, “Remember when you said actions speak louder than words?” She nods, and I admit, “I always knew I loved you. I always knew you were mine; you’re my muse, my heart, you’re the reason why I enjoy doing what I do because the spark in your eyes is what keeps me going. And over the four years we were together before I left, that feeling, it scared me some days. But then I’d look in your eyes and I knew I would be alright, because I had you at my side.”

I swallow hard and admit, “Before prom, I got your dad's permission to marry you, Rose. That’s how much I loved you. I was going to propose on graduation night….”

After being silent for a few minutes, she takes a deep breath and finally asks, “What happened?”

I’m quiet for a moment, trying to put what I was feeling into words.

Dropping my face into her neck, I mutter, “I panicked. Graduation, you weren’t there—I mean, I know you were, but at the time, I didn’t know , you know?” She nods and squeezes my hands, giving the strength I need to get this out. “When I didn’t see you I thought, ‘damn, this is what it's going to be like’. You still had school, or so I thought, and I realized I wasn’t going to see you every day, and my mind went in circles about how you could probably do better than a guy with a pipe dream. But then you walked onto the stage, and we got the call about the label, and everything was fucking perfect. I pushed my concerns and fears to the side, knowing that, with you, we could get through anything. I was ready to propose, but then Gina and Piper came to the trailer, and they showed me the photo….”

Fuck, I don’t want to tell her this, I don’t want her to hate me more, to think I’m not worthy of her….

I shake my head. “I knew, deep down, that it was innocent; you could see it, but my fear, the one I’d been struggling with over the years, it had taken over, and I panicked.

“I made myself believe in the photo, and I left without a word. And what fucking sucks is that you wouldn’t have run, you would have confronted me, and I knew I could have spoken to you about it. I knew there was an explanation, but deep in my heart, I knew this was a way out, a way out of the relationship and the fear that I’ll never be enough for you. And when Gina said you were pregnant, a part me went straight to thinking the baby was mine. I freaked out because I allowed my fear of any potential hurt take over. But then she said you were four months, and I made myself believe I did the right thing, before getting drunk and passing out.”

Rose sighs and moves. I go to grab her again, but instead, she turns in my arms and kneels between my legs, cupping my cheeks, her thumb rubbing over my stubble.

“Noah,” she whispers, tears shining, “you were always enough, even before you became a rockstar. I didn’t want possessions, I wanted you and only you. If you had told me that we’d live in a trailer for the rest of our lives, I would have happily moved in with you.”

I nod. “And then I failed you because I left….”

She swallows hard and admits, “I think, now, it’s not the fact you left that I’m struggling with. I mean, am I hurt that you didn’t have enough trust in us to fight, enough trust in me and my feelings for you? Damn right, I am, especially when I have always been yours. It’s the other women I can’t get over.” She sniffles. “I gave in, Noah. I looked you up after you came back into my life, and all the women, the photos and headlines. You said you loved me and that I was your world, and yet you’ve been with others when even the thought of touching another man's hand made me sick.”

I huff out a laugh and grip her cheeks, pressing my forehead against hers.

This silly fucking girl. All this time, she thought that I’d….

I smile gently. “Petal. I never kissed those girls, let alone slept with them.” Her eyes widen. “Yes, I tried to date, but it was always in public, and I think, subconsciously, I wanted you to see them; my head and heart sticking to the notion that you cheated, when deep down I knew you hadn’t. Every time a woman tried to kiss me, I would move away. All the club nights, we were forced to go by our PR firm. And Piper, yeah, she caught me by fucking surprise when she licked me, and I threatened to quit my label if they didn’t put a leash on her.”

She blinks, her mouth parting in surprise, and I chuckle. “Baby, you’re the only girl I’ve ever been with.” Her tears fall. “I mean, you're not the only girl I’ve kissed now, thanks to Gina and her fucked up brain, but?—”

My words are cut off as Rose slams her lips against mine, her body falling on me, and I groan, opening my mouth, allowing her entrance as her tongue slides inside, and I tangle mine with hers, deepening the kiss, holding her to me as she grips my hair.

Jesus, she’s perfect.

After making out for a few minutes, I slow the kiss as I put my hand in my pocket.

Giving her a few pecks, she leans back a little, her eyes wet, and I can’t help the smile that takes over my face. because I can see it….

Her eyes are giving me what I need. She’s going to give me a chance, and that’s all I need to win her back, because our kind of love never dies.

Do I still need to prove myself to her? Yeah, I do, and I need her to show me she’ll never leave, but I think we’ll get through this.

These past two years were only a blip in the lifetime together I’m aiming for.

Slowly, I lift my arms, place my hands behind her neck, and unclasp her necklace, making her furrow her brows until the weight of the silver ring with a 25-carat diamond drops next to the music pendant shaped into an N.

I re-clasp her necklace as she picks up the ring, then looks at me in shock.

Gently, I place my hand over hers on the ring.

I whisper, “I did have another ring, it was small, and it’s at home, if you still want it to put on your other hand. But this one I bought a week after my first paycheck, before buying the house.” Her tears fall again. I grip the back of her neck with my other hand, and I confess, “I never stopped loving you, Rose, this ring is proof of that…. All I’m asking is for one chance to show you how much I love and need you. I want a chance to make it right.”

“Noah,” she chokes, and I gently kiss her lips, needing to get this out.

“What I want, my Petal,” I rasp against her lips, “is for you to try and trust me again, to see if we can work out, and if you think we can, then when you’re ready, I want you to put this ring where it belongs, and I’ll marry you the next day in Vegas.” She sobs. “And if you can’t, then wear it and allow me to keep trying before you give up on us. You fought, Rose, for two years. You cared for our son as you grew him, then birthed him, and continued to fight for us—you may think you didn’t, but you did. You gave him my last name, you even got a tattoo with my name and the date we met on your wrist. You fought for us, so let me fight for us now; let me show you we’ll get through this….”

My gaze is pinned to hers, and I beg, “Please, Rose, just one chance….”

I hold my breath, hoping and praying as her eyes grow distant.

Please, baby, don’t give up now….