30

30

STACEY

Aria walks past Kade and pats his chest, then she’s out of sight.

His eyes land on me. “I won’t be bleaching the freezer.”

I cross my arms and jut out my hip. “You really shouldn’t eavesdrop. It’s rude.”

He breathes deeply through his nose and walks in, closing the door behind him. He shoves his hands in his trouser pockets and steps forward. “Do you believe me now that I don’t know how to be in a relationship?”

I lower my head. “It doesn’t mean that at all.”

“You said so yourself. It triggered me. And it pisses me off, Stacey.”

I nibble my lip. “I know.”

He pulls a hand from his pocket and aggressively taps the side of his head with bared teeth. “It’s Bernadette. She’s in my head all the fucking time. Every single thing I do, I hear her voice, smell her fucking perfume and feel her nails clawing into my skin. I’m trying so damn hard to push it all aside and be good enough for you.” He eats up the distance between us, making my pulse race. “I. Don’t. Know. How.”

I fight tears, seeing into his abused soul through the deadliness of his eyes.

“But, despite every reason not to, I want to be with you. I need you.”

My head tilts as a tear slides down my cheek. “You do?”

“Of course I do,” he says with a frown, closing the remaining distance between us and wiping the tear away with his thumb, stroking beneath my eye as he cups my face. “But I’ve fucked up too much, and I don’t know how to fix any of this.”

“I forgave you,” I reply, my voice shaking.

“I don’t know how to forgive myself for everything I’ve done, so how can I expect you to do the same?”

When he lowers his forehead to mine, I part my lips on a rushed breath, feeling warmth crawl up my spine all the way from my toes. “Then you need to learn how to forgive yourself, because I’m not leaving. I’m always going to be by your side.”

My nerve endings tremble, ready to combust as he curls his fingers around my nape, stroking his thumb behind my ear. I grow warmer from his touch. His white shirt is pulled taut over his muscles, his cuffs rolled to his elbows, showing off his expensive watch.

“I need you too,” I add.

“Even if I’m a bag full of trauma?”

I smile. “I have my own bag. We can swap when they get too heavy and we need a balance.”

Kade huffs out a laugh, nudging his nose against mine. “I want to try and kiss you again. Can I?”

“Promise me something first.”

He arches a brow. “What?”

“Don’t push me away.”

He brings his mouth close to mine, fire igniting within me as he whispers against my lips, “What if it’s for your own good?”

He tries to kiss me, but I press my fingers to his lips. “I don’t want you to think you need to force this and you end up seizing again. We can wait. We can go slow.”

“Slow,” he repeats with a slight grimace, as if the word sickens him. “I never want to hear that word from you again when it comes to me and you. We do whatever the fuck we want.”

His lips are so soft beneath my skin, and the tip of his tongue pokes out, swiping at my fingertips. I snatch my hand away at the electricity flowing through it.

He’s not wearing his face covering. I’m glad; I don’t want him to hide from me. When I kissed his scar before, I was showing Kade that it’s a part of him, and I love all parts of him. Even the darker ones. I’ll always love those parts of him.

It’s not ugly or something that should be hidden. It shows his courage, how he stopped his sister from being tortured by cutting himself and surviving the punishment.

Nothing about Kade scares me. Even if he did chase me down a highway on a motorbike and point a gun in my face, shoot at me, finger me while covered in blood, along with all the other messed-up things he’s done. He doesn’t scare me. That side – the scary, vicious and extremely dangerous side – is the one everyone sees, but I get to see a different Kade.

The real Kade.

The one who went on holiday with me. Got drunk and sang karaoke, swam in the sea and kissed me under the sunset. He’s the one who sent me good morning and goodnight texts every day without fail, and we shared all of our firsts.

Everything he’s done in his life – kill, fuck, torture – he did to protect those he loved. Including me.

I almost smile, elated deep within as butterflies bloom, as I look into the eyes of the only person I want to be with. He’s the only person I’ve ever wanted to be with.

Kade Mitchell loves me.

I’m his. And he’s mine.

My lungs stop working as his other hand comes to rest on my hip, walking me back until I bump into the desk. I pull myself on top of it without thinking, my dress riding up my thighs as I open them wide enough for him to slot himself between them.

I pull him by the shirt, bringing him closer to me, until I feel every bit of his warmth.

“Your little speech to my mother isn’t happening. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” he says, making my body sing as he brings his mouth to my ear and lowers his voice. “I don’t deserve to even be in your fucking company.”

Shivers overwhelm me as he presses a kiss against my heated skin.

“But I want you. I want everything you’ll give to me. I want you around me, beneath me, on top of me.”

My chest rises and falls as he sucks on the skin behind my ear then bites at my lobe, bringing it lightly between his teeth.

“I tried so hard to keep my distance, Stacey, but I can’t do it anymore.”

“Wait.” My back arches, and I let go of his shirt to lean back on the desk. “You might push it too far and seize again.”

He scoffs and lowers his forehead to my shoulder, shaking his head. “I’m not going to let some neurological bullshit passed down from my father stop me from getting what I want.”

I’m not quite sure if that’s accurate, but I don’t want to correct him.

I raise a brow as he looks up. “And what is it you want?”

“You. I want to be the person you think of when you wake up, when you go to sleep, when you slide your hand between your legs and find pleasure.”

His hands have a bruising grip on my trembling thighs as he drags his hungry, hooded gaze down the length of my body. He’s trying to control himself.

“What else?”

He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth then holds it between his teeth as my dress slides further up my thighs, exposing my definitely soaked underwear.

“Your body. I want to be the only person to touch, kiss and fuck you. I want to claim all your emotions. Fear. Anger. Misery. Happiness. Love.” He presses his thumb against my clit through my underwear, and I let out a soft moan from the abrupt sensation. “I want your heart, every single fucking fragment that I’ve broken over the years. I have your past and your present, and I want to be a selfish asshole and have your future.”

“You already have it,” I breathe, letting out a quiet whimper as he pinches my clit. I lean further back, my palms pressing into the desk as he circles, and feel him harden against my inner thigh. “You have all of it.”

“The monster in me wants you to be terrified. I want you to run to the other side of the world again and stay there.” He pulls his thumb away, leaving me panting with need. “I want you to be scared of me.”

I tip my chin as I sit up, my arms wrapping around his shoulders slowly, taking in the stiff muscles beneath my touch. “I’ll never be scared of you,” I say quietly, my voice soft and honest. “Never.”

My hands slide down to his sides and snake around his waist, and my eyes widen when I feel a gun at the back of his waistband.

He snatches my wrists and presses my hands back to the desk. “You should be scared of me. I might worship the ground you walk on, but you don’t have the faintest idea what I’m capable of. I could snap your neck without blinking, mistaking you for a client. I could fuck you so hard you pass out. I could really hurt you, Stacey.”

I hook my ankles behind his thighs when he tries to step back. “You once told me not to be afraid of you. That sometimes people need to change to survive.”

He sighs and slides his palms up to my thighs again, pushing them further apart. “I did say that, yeah. What’s your point?”

“You survived.”

The deep groan vibrates through my bones as he yanks me to the edge of the desk, pressing his hard cock right against my drenched panties. “Did I? Because it doesn’t feel like it.”

“You’re here,” I say, lowering my hand between us and palming his thick length through his trousers, making his fingers dig into my skin. “You’re alive. You’re fighting back. That’s survival, Kade.” I smirk as his pupils dilate. “Now you’re mine and only mine.”

It’s been so long since I felt him. All of him. I forgot how large he is. He’s thick, long and veiny. I might actually die if he pushes inside me.

He thrusts against my palm, and I twist my free hand into the material of his shirt, bringing his face closer to mine. “What will you do with your freedom?”

Kade stares at me for a long moment, breathing the same air while I touch him through his clothes. “Win my girl back.”

My heart sings at his response, and I grin. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He lowers his head and drags my bottom lip between his teeth until it snaps into place. When he pulls back, I chase his lips and grab the back of his head, forcing him to stay as I devour his mouth with desperation.

The groan he lets out makes my pussy throb, and I can feel him growing harder.

I kiss every inch of his lips, his scar, nibbling along his jaw as I curl my fingers around his cock through the fabric, trying to unfasten the buttons of his shirt with one hand so I can kiss the scar trailing down his throat.

He stiffens slightly, so I go back to his mouth.

Kade slips his tongue against my own; he tastes of smoke and mint and something that’s wholly mine. The grip on my thighs turns painful, but I revel in it. It makes me breathless as he kisses me like he’ll die if he can’t taste my tongue with his.

“Fuck,” he mutters into my lips.

“Keep going.”

We’re biting and sucking tongues and moving our heads to deepen the kiss, and he whispers my name against my lips as he thickens even more in my hand. But when I reach for his belt, Kade grabs my wrist.

He doesn’t release it, instead pressing it to my chest and pushing until I lie flat on the desk, my legs dangling over the edge.

He takes the gun from his waistband and places it beside my head, the deadly weapon so close I can smell the acrid scent of metal and gunpowder.

“If you keep touching my dick, I’ll screw your plan of going slow and fuck you on this desk until we crack the wood.” He lets go of my wrist and steps back enough to hook his fingers under my panties and slide them down my legs.

He lets them fall at his feet, staring at them, then lifts his gaze to the sensitive area between my legs that’s buzzing for touch.

“I dream of you,” he says in a deep voice, his eyes darkening as he pulls his belt from the loops of his black trousers. “Every night, I dream of you.”

“Seems very psychotic and obsessive of you,” I say, using his own words against him, flinching as he moves forward and massages my legs, close to the apex of my thighs, each caress parting my pussy for him. “What happens in these dreams?”

Everywhere tingles as he bends forward, breathing against my pulsing centre. “Everything.”

My head falls back on a loud moan as he sinks two fingers inside me, his thumb pressing to my clit.

He thrusts his fingers all the way in and out while circling my clit. “Whoever touched you while you were in America, I’ll kill them.” He speeds up, fucking me harder, and I have to cover my mouth to stop the entire manor from hearing me moaning on his mother’s desk. “I’ll track them all down and make them wish they’d never laid eyes on you.”

“I wasn’t with anyone,” I breathe. “But continue with your threats.”

He pulls his fingers out and shoves both my legs up so my knees are bent, and I cry out as his teeth clamp down on my clit, sucking away the pain.

I grip the edge of the desk with one hand, knocking paperwork and a pencil holder over as I try to grab on to anything with the other, settling on burying my fingers into his hair as he eats my pussy.

Kade traces around my clit and entrance with the tip of his tongue, before sucking on the bundle of nerves again and making my spine twist, my back arching from the desk.

When he shoves his tongue through my entrance and devours me, I tug at his hair, pulling him firmer against me, grinding against his mouth as he switches between sucking, licking and biting, driving me to the edge.

His lips wrap around my clit again, and he sinks two fingers back in, adding a third then curling them, pumping in and out until my body spasms, a coiling sensation wrapping around each vertebra.

He mutters something in a different language against my pussy, and it almost sounds like praise from the tone he uses. Then his gaze clashes with mine, and I watch him lapping every inch of me as my lungs give up.

The orgasm smacks into me like a car crash, overtaking every single one of my senses as my vision blurs, my throat cracking on a loud moan of his name, his hair soft beneath my fingers as I tug hard and grind through my release.

He keeps going as it flows through me in waves, groaning against my pussy, and my inner walls crush his fingers with each pulse until I’m completely spent on the desk.

Someone knocks on the door, and Kade moves his face away, keeping his fingers inside me and making my eyes roll.

“What?” he calls out abruptly when the knocking sounds again.

“We have some information, sir.”

He licks his glistening lips, and, instead of stopping, he keeps finger-fucking me then pulls out, yanks me off the desk and bends me over it. “Give me an hour.”

He reaches in front of me and rubs my clit, the head of his cock pressing between my legs. “You see that gun there?” he says quietly so the guard doesn’t hear, and I nod, frowning as he grabs it and shoves it into my hand. “If I hurt you, shoot me.”

I don’t have the chance to reply before he fills me in one punishing thrust. I struggle not to cry out from the fullness, my nails sinking into the wood of the desk while I grasp the gun.

Buried deep, not moving, he pants and takes my throat with his free hand, pulling me up so my back is against his chest and squeezing hard enough to put pressure behind my eyes.

“Don’t make a fucking sound,” he warns, speaking in my ear as he throbs inside me. He eases out slowly and fucks into me with one more thrust, and my body trembles, vibrating against him.

Skin slaps skin as he thrusts in and out, and I silently cry, the intensity overwhelming me yet bringing me close to another orgasm.

I almost lose my vision, but he releases my throat and bends me over the desk once more, holding me down by my nape just as the door is knocked again. I look over my shoulder to see his eyes darken to deep voids as he swears under his breath and pulls out of me.

He stuffs his cock into his trousers, takes the gun from me and storms to the door while I rush to get my dress back down. I yelp as he swings it open to point the weapon at the guard’s head. His eyes widen, and he raises both hands.

“The fuck do you want?” Kade snaps as he cocks the gun.

“Bernadette Sawyer was taken to hospital and is in a critical condition.”

Kade blinks twice and frowns. “What happened?”

He lowers his head. “Follow me.”

I go with them to the main dining room, where Kade and his team have regular briefings to discuss the next steps of their search for Bernadette. All the screens are on, dotted around the room. One shows Archie, slumped on the floor of the freezer, covered in his own shit.

Aria gives me a welcoming smile as I walk behind Kade, hugging myself while he sets the gun on the table and leans in to see the footage.

“We managed to locate this file,” Barry says through the speaker of a laptop. “It took place six hours ago.”

In the recording, we see a bedroom, and Tobias is walked in with guards crowding him. He’s only in a pair of boxers, and when he elbows one of them in the face, they all attack him with batons and the butts of their guns.

He laughs maniacally as his face fills with blood, then he grabs a guard and sinks his teeth into his cheek before kicking another in the face and knocking them clean out. One of them injects something into his neck, but he doesn’t flinch until a second dose is administered.

He grows weak, and they sit him down on the edge of the bed, all of them backing away in terror.

When they leave, Bernadette walks in wearing a silk robe. She’s speaking, but there’s no sound in the clip. She strokes his cheek and licks the blood from his face, which makes my stomach roil, then slowly drops her robe.

She’s naked as she climbs into his lap, and Aria turns away.

Kade crosses his arms. “I’m not watching my dad fuck her.”

“Keep watching,” Barry demands.

She tries to kiss Tobias, grinding in his lap, but he stands abruptly and knocks her on her ass. He’s heavily drugged, but he still has control. I shouldn’t be surprised, considering he’s Tobias, but I am. He should be knocked out by now.

Bernadette crawls back, but she stops when he grabs her jaw. He says something that makes her smile, and she’s licking her teeth and lips.

She gets into a position that would indicate she’s going to suck him off but starts thrashing in his hold as his grip on her tightens. I can almost hear the crack of her jaw as she releases inaudible screams with terrified eyes.

No one enters in time to stop Tobias from lifting her from her knees by her shattered jaw and slamming her back into the wall with brutal force. Once, twice, three times. Blood marks the wall where her head’s smacked into it.

She’s out cold as Tobias punches her right across the face and throws her on the floor.

“Shit,” Kade blurts out, looking at one of his team. “Where is my dad now? Is he still alive?”

The older man looks at me then opens another file and stands back.

The clip plays an unaired, pre-recorded news report. The reporter is standing in front of a cliffside, wind whipping at her hair as she addresses her audience.

“Officials have recovered a body from the car. The individual has been identified as convicted killer Tobias Mitchell. He escaped his institution in the US not long ago and has been on the run ever since. It seems the hunt for the psychopath has now come to an end. There will be more information in the coming days.”