Episode Twelve Take Me Home

N adira

"What are the drums?" I ask after hearing rhythmic pounding in the distance.

"Rendezvous. Many of the known tribes converge to sell goods, tell stories, look for mates, and drink fermented spirits. It's a bonding time. Good for keeping the peace."

"You'll take me there? To find… two more mates?"

As I ask the question, I watch him. I don't believe I've ever seen that much pain on a living person's face in all my life. I doubt I looked as agonized when Armstrong was kicking the shit out of me.

He doesn't move for the longest time. Doesn't even blink. Although his gaze is focused on mine, it's as though he's seeing right through me.

Finally, he nods his head curtly, just once. "Aye."

He slides me down until my booted feet touch the ground. I know him well enough to realize by his tight muscles and convulsive swallowing that he's dying inside.

"I need to think," I tell him.

Perhaps I'm the only female from Up Above who learned to read. My father sent my mother away when I was young. Of course, he never told me why. Sadly, I barely remember her. The maids took care of me until I could do it myself, then I was left on my own.

He enjoyed the young girls who came to our apartment to attend his base needs on an almost daily basis. Apparently he didn't want more children, so he never remarried.

Often when he was away tending to governmental business, I was alone. I figured out a way to sneak into his home office, where I taught myself to read from a few antique books on his shelves. I learned how to sign onto his computer, read what I wanted, and clear the data to hide my search history.

Though I sought the answers to many things, some things remained hidden behind secret codes I wasn't privy to. I never did discover how men and women turned into the animals that inhabit the Down Below. Even though there is so much I don't know, I might be more educated than any other human female.

Although I hated being ordered to his spacious office to serve drinks in my see-through gowns when his cronies came to talk politics, I must have absorbed more than I thought. I understand alliances and playing life like a game of chess, always being several steps ahead of your opponent.

A plan forms in my mind. Not a good plan. Not a plan I want to follow, but a plan that will fulfill the rules Azael set forth. I'm used to doing things I don't want to do. Just as I'm about to grasp happiness for the first time in my life, this setback hits like lightning out of the blue. But I think it might be best for all the people Down Below.

I'll just have to sacrifice my happiness. What terrible timing. I've never had the slightest chance at happiness before. Just as it's within my grasp, it's snatched away.

Azael is so much taller than me, it's usually hard to reach his neck to pull him to my level. He's so hurt, so dejected, that he's slumped low enough it's easy for me to look into his eyes.

"I have a plan. It's not a great one, but perhaps it's the best we can do with the rules we must follow. I'll explain it later, but for now, can you take me home?"

"Aye."

Azael

"What are you planning, Nadira?"

"I need to think it through. Let's go back home. We'll put our heads together and come up with something."

My heart is breaking. She's my mate. What possessed me to think I wouldn't have to abide by the rule I insisted on putting into place? The stupidest thing I ever did was demand future packs consist of males from different tribes. It was a great idea when I thought it would mean monks would have a chance at human females. If I'd thought for a moment it would mean I'd have to share my mate, I would have gone to my grave without ever suggesting it. I'll never forgive myself.

I kiss her cheek. Something I've never done. It's a bold move, but instead of an angry look, she gifts me with a little smile. No matter what happens, in my heart this little female will always be my mate.