4. Amanda

AMANDA

The divorce took some time because Dan wanted to fight for us, or at least that’s what my lawyer said, but once I made it clear that there was no way in hell that was going to happen, I guess his lawyers talked some sense into him, and he signed the papers.

The house was sold for way more than we’d paid for it, thanks to the market, and as soon as the check cleared, I put in an order to work from home and was granted with the provision that I show my face at least once every quarter for meetings which was fine because I wasn’t planning on going too far, just far enough that no one knew me.

I’d found a cute little town about an hour away that was just far enough for me to be comfortable and still be able to see my family on the weekends. I hadn’t heard from Dan since our last phone call and went out of my way to avoid him and everyone he knew.

If he showed up at my job, they knew not to divulge any information. I went through the hassle of changing my name back and updating my credit report, as well as locking down anything that my ex might have access to.

I had a nice lump sum in my account along with my savings, so all I lost was my husband. I found an apartment in a nice building with a doorman for a little added security, and my Dad and brothers helped me move in the week after the divorce was final. All told, it took about three months for everything to be finalized. Much shorter than I expected. It only took three months to dismantle a lifetime together.

Then again, no, that only took the few minutes it took for him to cheat. Our marriage was dead the second that happened. I was just too stupid or too naïve to see it.

* * *

It’s beena year since I made the move, and nothing much has changed. I get up every morning as usual fire up my laptop, and get to work. I log out at a decent hour and walk around my apartment, moving things around.

I’d started eating again, but barely. Still toast and cereal and sometimes fruit when I remember to order some through Instacart. Isn’t life grand? I don’t ever have to leave my house again unless I want to.

It was the one-year anniversary of the divorce when things took a turn. That night, I ordered four bottles of wine, put three in the fridge and one on ice. Then I went to the second bedroom, which I had turned into my office, and grabbed the biggest legal notepad I could find and a whole box of pens. I still enjoy writing longhand for some reason since I do a lot of jotting down for my job.

About three glasses in, I started writing and didn’t stop until my fingers and wrist hurt. I looked bleary-eyed at the three empty bottles in front of me and wondered what the heck just happened. There was no time for that; I felt like listening to music; it had been a while.

Before I knew it, I had the radio on and was in the kitchen knee-deep in something I hadn’t done in a very long time: baking. Baking is my passion. If I hadn’t gone into finance, my dream was to open a bakery. I’ve never had formal training, but my paternal grandmother taught me everything there is to know about baking and cooking.

Every weekend we spent at her house, she’d have me in the kitchen with her, talking me through what she was doing. I was so good that by the age of twelve, I could bake anything without having to measure. I got into the habit of testing different flavors, especially with cookies. I make a key lime pie cookie that is to die for.

Anyway, by the time I was sixteen, I was the baker for every event in the family, whether it be a wedding, birthday, holiday, you name it; if there was cake involved, I was the go-to girl, and that went for my ex-in-laws as well. It got, so I had to come up with a chart to keep track.

Because there were so many people, a lot of the birthdays overlapped, and that’s how I started baking base cakes ahead of time and freezing them, then pulling them out around the time of the birthday to ice and decorate.

I learned the shelf life for the different batters, and so I was never too put out by being everybody’s baker. It’s because I’d become so good at it that I’d contemplated opening a bakery. But alas, real life needs money while dreams don’t, so financing it is.

But as I stirred batter not only for cakes but cupcakes and then cookies, I questioned why is that. Why is it that in order to live in this world, you have to give up your dreams? It doesn’t make sense; it’s as if something or someone doesn’t want us to be happy.

The more I baked and danced and sang the more like my old self I felt. I’m sure the wine had a lot to do with that as well. But it was a welcome change from what had become my norm.

* * *

DEIDRE

* * *

“Oh, Dan, right there.”I sat on his thick cock as he pumped up into me for all he was worth.

“Slut, bitch, I hate you.” He smacked me hard across the face with each word, and I just grinned and fucked him harder as my pussy juiced.

I knew what day it was that only made this so much hotter. It was a year since the bitch was gone completely from our lives. I knew he would be in his feels again, so I prepared ahead of time. This isn’t the first time I’ve been in his bed since we got rid of her; in fact, I’ve been in his bed almost every night since then, had moved in, in fact.

Things weren’t supposed to get this far. I never intended to become this involved with him, but then I came up pregnant, and there was nothing else to do. Dan isn’t the first married man I’d snagged, but they were usually just distractions until the next one came along. It was the excitement of doing something forbidden that kept me going back time and time again.

That, and the fact that I could have all the fun without any of the hassle of wifely duties. Most men are so stupid they don’t realize that the things they complain about with their wives are all part of adulthood. It’s like they don’t realize that having to take care of a house and kids means that things won’t remain the same as when they were dating.

Dan was different, though. His complaint wasn’t about her not having time for him or any of the other things I’d heard over the years since I was eighteen, at least. Dan was afraid that he couldn’t get his wife pregnant, and so was born my new kink.

He was a pretty standoffish guy, but I’d chosen his class because of the gossip I’d heard hanging around the professors’ lounge. He was on the fast track and would be tenured at a young age, which was a big deal. Plus, he was hot as fuck to look at, and I knew from day one that I was going to fuck him.

Like I said, it wasn’t easy, but I became an ear for him to bend. It wasn’t obvious at first; I was little more than one of the guys in the beginning, always there, made myself available, and was very good at my job which he noticed. It was my easygoing, nonthreatening attitude that got him to open up.

I remember the first day I realized I was getting somewhere, that I was chipping away at his resolve to remain loyal to his vows. “I don’t mean to overstep, but maybe the problem’s not with you. If, say, you got another woman pregnant, you’d know for sure.” I laughed like it was a joke, but the seed had been planted.

After that day, I played on that little fantasy in his head and used his fear to draw him into my web. The first time we fucked, it was in his office at his desk. I climbed onto his cock while he sat in his big masculine leather chair and gave him the ride of his life.

My hot whispers in his ear had him ravenous for my pussy. And when I whispered that I wanted him to fuck his baby into me, I thought he would break his dick off in me. After that, it was easy to get him in my bed and I always ended with some variation on the theme of wanting him to breed me.

You see, I’d fallen in love with his thick cock. It wasn’t as long as some, but the thickness more than made up for it, and I couldn’t get enough of the way he stretched me. He thought we were just playing a game, but the more we played, the deeper he fell.

We’d fucked all over the place, my apartment, his office, and had even taken a few weekend trips out of town while his wife thought he was doing research for the job. My eyes fell away from his, and I glanced at the sheets.

These were the last sheets he’d fucked her on. I’d brought them from his old house along with the bed. In fact, this room was almost a complete replica of their old bedroom. I haven’t washed the sheets or had them washed by anyone else. Though I change them every once in a while, I like to take them out from time to time and fuck on them.

I know where her sex stains are, where mine have mixed with them. Sometimes I roll around on the bed right where she’d cum and get such a thrill that I have to fuck him all day. I wonder what it would’ve been like to have a threesome with her and him; that would’ve been hot.

But since that wasn’t about to happen, this was the next best thing. Maybe one day I’ll bring my friend Brandy over to play. Play in her bed. When I looked back at him, he still had that look of anger in his eyes.

I leaned over and picked up a piece of the special chocolate I kept on the nightstand. “Open!” He opened his mouth, and I fed half of it to him before leaning in to nip the other half from his lips. It didn’t take long for the drug that candy was laced with to kick in.

His eyes changed again; the anger was still there, but there was a new light, a light of passion and wanton lust. I didn’t want him thinking about her, not even for a second tonight. Tomorrow, we’d be past this hurdle and things would go back to normal until next year again.

“Pound my pussy. Harder, harder.” He grabbed my hips and pulled me on and off his cock faster and faster until I was screaming with pleasure. I wasn’t worried about the brat waking up because I’d put children’s cold medicine in his milk and knew from experience that he’d be out for the rest of the night.

The baby! He hadn’t been part of the plan either. I would’ve gotten rid of him if not for the fact that I knew he was my meal ticket. My ticket to the kind of life I deserve. A life of leisure and being taken care of.

I have his mom to thank for what I have now. It was she I’d told about the pregnancy before sharing the news with him. I’d found her number in his phone and called crying in a panic and offloaded all my woes onto her. But I knew from my conversations with Dan that once I mentioned getting rid of the kid, she’d fold like a cheap handkerchief.

It wasn’t long before she was my advocate. She was the one who talked her son into letting me have my way in everything, and the more I pushed, the more they caved. Even the wife, which was surprising. I thought for sure she’d have been gone once news of the baby came to light, but that dumb bitch actually stuck around.

I’d made up my mind that I was going to get rid of her one way or another. Dan had stopped fucking me once he found out I was pregnant; he had so much buyer’s remorse that it was hard to get through to him. He, too, was dumb enough to believe that he and his ex were going to weather this storm.

The night she caught us in her bed, nothing really happened. I’d asked him about the phone call after he got off the phone at his mother’s and came up with a plan. I pretended to be too drunk to drive, and his mother was only too happy to suggest he take me home.

In the car I pretended to be sick, to need the bathroom. I made sure we were closer to his place than mine or his mother’s, and since his wife wasn’t going to be home and I was the mother of his child, he took me home.

Once there, I pretended to be the mother of the year. I pinched the kid awake until he screamed and bawled, and of course, as his mother, I couldn’t leave him in such a state. I offered to take him home with me, but it was Dan’s time with him, and he wanted his little boy there with him, so he suggested I stay in the guestroom to be close during the night.

I started off in the guest room, but it wasn’t long before I climbed into his bed with the excuse that I felt uncomfortable in a strange place. Nothing really happened; he was good enough to keep a safe distance between us in the bed, which pissed me off.

I knew from his actions since the baby was born that had I not put my foot down and forbade his ex from having anything to do with my child, the two of them would be playing house right now with my kid. Because he genuinely loved her. He’d even offered to adopt the kid at one point so the two of them could raise him as their own. But there was no way I was going to let go of my gravy train.

I’d enlisted Cecile’s help as the victim in this whole farce. I made her almost hate Amanda because she saw her as the obstacle between her and her grandson. She pushed that poor girl almost to the brink of insanity just to get access to her grandson. So, even though I hadn’t set out to break up a family, it was too late for everyone involved now because I wanted what I wanted.

That morning, I heard the car pull up and guessed it must be her. Dan was still fast asleep, but I had been up for a while wondering how I could get him to fuck me in their marriage bed.

As soon as I heard her feet on the stairs I’d pulled his arm around me and got close with my leg thrown over his as if we’d fallen asleep like that. She didn’t know I was awake and saw her look of shock and hurt when she saw us like that. It was all I could do to keep my laughter contained.

Then Dan woke up and heard her in the closet and went in there after her. I pretended to be asleep when I called out to him about being cold, knowing how terrified he was about either of us getting sick and passing it on to the baby.

It worked like a charm, and now she was gone. I squeezed down around his cock the way I knew would get him off, and it wasn’t long before he was cumming again. I slid off his cock and got on my knees next to him. “Now clean me up; suck all your jizz out my snatch.”

He fell on my ass like a starving man and sunk his tongue in me, licking and lapping like a dog, while I pulled on my nipples and closed my eyes in lust. Once he was done cleaning my pussy of all his cum I leaned over for another piece of chocolate which I shared.

I wasn’t done with him by a long shot. There will be no time for thinking about anything else but me and our little family. I straddled his hips and rubbed my ass back and forth on his cockhead. One thing about Dan is that he can stay hard for long periods of time.

I knew once the drug kicked in, he’d be ready to go again, but this time I wanted him to fuck me in the ass. I whispered as much in his ear, and he was quick to grab both ass cheeks and spread them wide. For a second, it felt as if he was going to tear me in half, but the burn was one I loved.

I reached back and found his cock, leading it to my wide-open ass and slipping it in. I’d been fucked up the ass so much that there was no need for lube; besides, the more pain, the more pleasure I felt.

I rocked back and forth on his cock with my hands planted on his chest while he stuffed my ass full. Sometimes I’m not sure which I like better, a good pussy fuck or getting my ass reamed.

When he was done cumming in my ass, I ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet, letting his cream leak out of me before jumping into the shower.

* * *

DAN

* * *

When willthis feeling go away? When will I be free of the guilt and self-loathing I feel each time I touch this woman? At least I no longer throw up each time, but it had been that way for months after she left.

Not only had she left, she’d disappeared completely. It’s as if she’d stopped existing; She wasn’t at her job, and her car was never outside any of her family members’ homes when I drove by under cover of night. None of our friends would talk to me, and the few who did didn’t seem to know anything.

She’d cut everyone off and gone into the wind. I admit that I was stupid that I messed up, but the divorce had completely blindsided me. I thought because of our love for each other that, we could get through anything together, but I was wrong, so very wrong.

Other people have pulled it off; why hadn’t we? It means she never loved me, I suppose, not if she could throw me away so easily. I didn’t mind the money or the house, none of that. She didn’t even ask for alimony because she wanted to be done with me altogether.

I never thought for one second that she could cut me out so coldly, act like I never existed like we hadn’t spent half a lifetime together. How could she do this to me? The not knowing was the worst, and not having my best friend to lean on.

I love having my son, no doubt about it, but I think I’m growing to resent his mother and her existence. I want my life back, my life with Mandy. I never wanted anything with anyone else, not since the day we met. She’s always been my ideal, my one and only. So, how could I have made such a stupid mistake?

I can’t look back on our lives and find any fault in my ex. If I could find something to latch onto, to blame her for, then maybe this would be easier, and I wouldn’t feel such sadness and guilt. But the only thing I could find was the fact that she couldn’t have kids and I can’t even blame that on her. It’s not like she knew and kept it from me.

I sat up on the side of the bed and rubbed my hands over my hair. What a mess. Each time I think of getting rid of Deidre, she mentions the fact that if she says anything I could lose my job. I’m not sure how true that is since she was never a student of mine and was of age, but I was too tired to fight right now.

I have sex with her because I miss sex with my wife, and I need the outlet, but each time, I feel worse than the last. My mind is consumed with thoughts of Amanda and what we had, what we should still have if it wasn’t for the slut in my shower.

I hate her with every fiber of my being, but I’m stuck. There’s no way out for me. I can lose my job or my son if I do or say the wrong thing to this ticking time bomb. I hate the pretense; I hate her, I hate my life, I hate…. No, I don’t hate my son, but I wish he’d been born to the right woman.