18. Amanda

AMANDA

I’m still in shock, so much so that for the first time since opening, I left the bakery early and went home. I made Thunder stop at a different pharmacy on the way home because I figured there was something wrong with the tests I’d just taken, all of them.

“This doesn’t make any sense.” The new batch had the same results. I guess I must’ve looked like I was going to pass out from the shock because he bundled me into bed and laid there wrapped around me, not saying a word.

I wanted to tell someone but was afraid to do so in case there was a mix-up. “I need to see my gynecologist.”

“Okay, when do you want to go?”

“I have to call and make an appointment first, but Thunder, my doctor is in my old hometown. I’ve been going to her since I was a teen, and I trust her.”

“Okay, so we’ll go to her.”

I rolled over in his arms to look at him. “You’ll come with me?” I didn’t want to admit that the thought of going back there made me uncomfortable. I hadn’t even thought of my ex and that whole mess in months, and the pain of his betrayal is long gone, but that doesn’t mean I want all the memories to come back.

“Of course, I’m coming with you. What did you expect?”

“Okay, but Thunder, just you and me, I don’t need security.”

“Babe, how many men are in your security detail?”

“Four that I know of, but Joy says there’re more; I just can’t see them.”

“Joy is a nosy little shit who needs to stay out of my business.”

“Whatever, what does that have to do with what we’re talking about here?”

“If you had four men on you that you know of before we knew you were pregnant, how many do you think you’re gonna have now that you’re walking around with my kid in there?”

“THUNDER!”

“It’s not for you; it’s for my kid; mind your own business.” Why argue? He never listens. Or he does but ends up doing what he wants in the end anyway.

I got up to make the call and was happy to get an appointment for two days later. In those two days, I was on pins and needles because I just couldn’t get my mind to settle down. I had so many questions about the possibility of this pregnancy. Why hadn’t it happened in all the years that I was married to Dan?

On the other hand, every time I even looked like I was going to worry, Thunder would drag me off to bed and keep me there for hours having sex. That was his go-to for everything. “Thunder, what if all those tests were wrong?” Off to bed we go.

“Thunder, what if…” Off to bed, we go. More sex.

By the time the appointment rolled around, I was a wreck. He sat in the doctor’s office with me after they took my blood, and I peed on another stick. I’d asked her to do both just to be sure, even though she assured me that it wasn’t necessary.

When she came back into the room smiling, I dug my nails into Thunder’s hand as my heartbeat started thumping in my ears. “Congratulations, you two, it looks like we’re having a baby. Preliminary results look like you’re three months along, give or take.”

I put my hand on my tummy in wonder. “But I don’t feel any different; my body hasn’t changed; everything’s the same.” I looked down at my chest, which hadn’t changed at all except for a slight tenderness, but that’s normal, especially around my cycle.

Thunder hadn’t said a word; he just kept staring at the doctor. I’m not sure what he was looking for, but he did ask me if my doctor was a female, and I assured him that she was.

We both walked out of there in a daze, and the nurse gave us a little bag with something that Thunder took from her hand because I was too numb right now. I don’t even remember the ride back home or anything else that happened. I just remember him holding my hand the whole way back.

The excitement didn’t kick in until later that evening when I was going through the stuff the nurse had given us and it finally hit home that this was real, this was happening. “Thunder, you haven’t said anything; what are your thoughts about all this?”

“I told you, babe, I’m fine with and fine without. As long as it’s our kid, I’m over the moon.”

* * *

Hah,what a crock. I knew when he said that he was just trying to spare my feelings, but his actions in the days following showed exactly what he thought. The first thing he did was fill our room with flowers, which ended up making him sick from the scent. I was fine; I loved my flowers.

Two days later, someone came to the house to talk to him about the nursery. But that wasn’t the worst of it. Or the best, depending on how you look at it. That was the fact that while I was running around with doctor’s appointments and trying to figure out what to do about my job, my man and my sister were planning a wedding.

They were sneaky about it; that’s why I never caught on. Thunder and I had talked about marriage even before we knew about the baby, but we hadn’t gotten past the talking stage, though I was sure if he could, he would’ve dragged me off to the courthouse like he kept threatening to do.

But once I told my family about the baby, it became a thing. That’s why I didn’t suspect a thing when Angel kept asking me about my dream wedding. “I’d love to get married in a vineyard in Tuscany. I saw it once in a movie, and it was amazing.”

Plus, my first wedding had been taken over by Cecile, and it ended up being more about her than Dan and me. Every day, Angel would pump me for information, and I was in such a fog. I told her everything, even down to the dress I wanted and my bridesmaid dresses, everything, even the cake, and menu.

A month later, when Thunder mentioned taking the whole family on vacation to celebrate, I thought it was a nice gesture and was excited to be going somewhere since I’d never been out of the country before.

Imagine my surprise when we landed on the grounds of a private vineyard. I still didn’t put it together, as I admired the beauty of my surroundings. I was tired from the trip, but then again, I’m always tired these days, so I went to take a nap as soon as we unpacked and left the rest of them to do their thing.

When I woke up hours later and looked out the window, the place looked like a fairyland. I went downstairs to find out what was going on. I thought we were the only ones here, but apparently, others were staying on the grounds as well. The place was big enough for it, so no worries.

“Hey, does anyone know what’s going on in the vineyard? I don’t recall seeing all that stuff when we drove up.”

“Oh, someone booked a wedding before we rented out the place. They’re not using the house, just the grounds.”

“Really? I’m gonna get to see a real wedding?” I almost passed out from excitement. I didn’t know until later that afternoon when Thunder disappeared, and my grandmother came into our room with what looked suspiciously like a garment bag thrown over her arm.

She proceeded to tell me that all the preparations going on outside were for my wedding. That was as much a shock as the pregnancy, but I dared not pass out, or Thunder would lose his ever-loving mind, but it was close.

* * *

I got married.My sister Angel and my new sister-in-law were my maid of honor and bridesmaid. The Garstons, along with the whole Silverspoon clan, were there as well as Henry and his family. My family was there too, of course, but I think most of the guests at my wedding were my security detail and his, along with the two goons he’s hired to watch over the baby.

“Thunder, why is my gynecologist here?”

“You’re out of the country; where the fuck else would she be?”

“You…. what is wrong with you?”

“Listen, I didn’t trust that trip, but this is what you said you wanted. The doctor said it was fine for you to travel, but I’ve heard other stories. She’s being paid very well to be here; at least it beats the alternative.”

“And what pray tell is the alternative?”

“I told her she’d pay with her life if some shit went wrong.”

I walked away and left him to himself because, really?

* * *

THUNDER

* * *

Her miserable ass!It was hell getting all this together without tipping her off, and there were many times when I thought Joy would slip up, but for once, she kept a secret, and here we are, and I can finally breathe. I wanted to give her what she wanted, but I had no idea she’d be so excited about this place.

It looked like just another castle to me, just in another part of the world. I walked around since she’d left me on my own and talked to some of the guests until the smell of meat hit me in the gut.

I looked for and found my asshole doctor schmoozing with the other yokels. “Doc, a minute.”

“What’s going on? You look green.”

“Some asshole’s cooking raw meat.”

“It’s usually raw before they cook it.”

“It’s fucking with my stomach Doc. It’s not morning, what the fuck is this?”

“Actually, morning sickness doesn’t only strike in the morning; it can actually happen any time of day.”

“So why the fuck don’t they call it all-day puke fest?” I need to get the hell away from that smell. “What the hell am I supposed to do about this mess? I can’t leave my wedding; my wife would kill my ass before the wedding night.”

“You can always try using some of your own product; that might help.

“Doc, you fuck, weed isn’t good for babies.” This fuck!

“Thunder, you’re not actually the one who’s pregnant.”

It took me a second to compute that. “Oh yeah, okay. But I don’t have anything on me that shit isn’t exactly legal here.”

“I didn’t think you did; I meant when you get back to the States. For now, we can try a local pharmacy to see if they have anything for morning sickness. It won’t stop it, but it might help a little.”

“I’m not taking that shit Doc. Shit would probably make me grow tits or some shit. Never mind, go back to your schmoozing.” I left him laughing his head off and headed inside to take care of myself. This kid is going to be trouble; I can feel it already.