17. Thunder

THUNDER

“There’s nothing wrong with you according to all the tests we’ve run. From what you’ve described, it sounds like morning sickness.”

“Doc, you’ve seen me naked, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I got a dick.”

“Yes, Thunder, I know, but these things can happen if you have a pregnant partner.”

For a second, my heart almost stopped as I tried to remember the last woman I’d had sex with before my girl. I don’t do unprotected sex, only with her, and she can’t have babies.

The last one was months before, so no. I’m pretty sure if any of the women I’d fucked with came up pregnant, they’d have been on my fucking doorstep with their hand out the second they missed a period.

“I think you’re wrong this time, Doc; try again.”

“Fine, are you worried about something? Nervous?” This fuck thinks I can’t see him with that stupid smirk on his face?

“Is this what I pay you for? Where’d you buy that damn degree from anyway?”

“It could be your orneriness catching up to you. You’ve been at it for a while.”

“Fuck off and go back there to your lab and figure this shit out.”

“Thunder, we’ve run every test there is, and there is nothing wrong with you. Would you like me to give you something for morning sickness?”

“Would you like my foot up your ass?”

“Fine, I’ll run the test again, but I’m telling you, it sounds like morning sickness. I’ve only ever heard that it can be possible in some men, but I’ve never actually seen it myself. Take my advice: before you make yourself crazier than you already are, buy a pregnancy test for the woman in your life.”

How the hell am I supposed to do that? How would I approach her about something like this? She’d probably think I was being an asshole after I already told her I’m not interested in having kids. And what if she isn’t pregnant? Wouldn’t she then think that I got some other chick pregnant? Why is the Doc trying to fuck my shit up?

Still, from the moment he planted that thought in my head, I can’t deny being excited at the possibility of a little boy who looked like me with the woman who owns my heart for a mother; what could be better? Is it possible? Could it be?

I didn’t share her story with him because it’s none of his damn business. So I had to sit there and listen to his disrespectful ass try to convince me that I had gotten someone pregnant. But even if I had, why the hell am I the one getting sick? Isn’t that the woman’s deal? Though, come to think of it, if my girl had to suffer like this, I’d lose my shit for sure.

I left his office because he was getting on my nerves with his shit. If I didn’t know he’s the best at what he does, I’d fire his ass, but he’s top dog around these parts, so where the hell am I gonna go? The Mayo Clinic?

It was because I trusted him that I stopped by the pharmacy and bought every pee stick these fucks had on the shelf. Now, I’m making my way to the bakery. She’s waiting for me anyway because she was just as worried about the throwing up shit as I was.

The shit is weird. It hits out of nowhere and leaves just as quickly. There are no other symptoms throughout the day, and nothing else hurts, but every morning like clockwork for the last week or so, that shit has been happening as soon as I finish fucking my woman. That nut thinks it’s the sex that’s making me sick like I’m weak or something.

It’s true I can barely keep up with her freaky ass but still. I don’t see how me breaking the brakes off her pussy can make me sick enough to throw up and why it only happens in the morning when I fuck her for much longer at night.

I was nervous as hell going to the bakery with that bag of tricks. I didn’t want to hurt her even for a second, and if it turns out that she’s not pregnant, I’ma put a hurting on the Doc that he won’t soon forget.

As I drove, I kept thinking of anything that this could be. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but the truth is, from the moment he implied that someone could be carrying my child, I couldn’t get the image of my sweet Amanda round with my son out of my head.

I realized something as I got closer to the bakery. She’d never been diagnosed. In all the telling, she’d never once said some medical professional told her there was something wrong with her. She only believed it because the mindless fuckwit she’d been married to knocked up someone else.

My hands and knees were shaking so hard by the time I pulled up outside that I had to wait a few seconds to get out of the car. My boys, who were standing outside the bakery door like sentinels, saw me just sitting there and started walking towards the car.

Yes, the bakery has security, and I don’t care what Evelyn Garston thinks about it, nor do I care that her husband calls me whipped on the golf course every chance he gets. Last I heard, my boys look very conspicuous standing out there like that from sunup ‘til sundown, but since none of these nosy fucks are paying them, I don’t see how it is any of their concern.

I waved my boys off and got out of the Chiron. “You okay, boss?”

“I’m good; how is everything here?”

“Same as always; you just missed the morning rush. There should be another stampede in about half an hour.”

“I’m surprised she’s got anything left to sell.”

“Huh?”

“You’ve got frou-frou cream all over your face, Drew.” That was an exaggeration, but still. He cleaned the corners of his lips with a grin. I don’t know why she has to feed them.

She bitched about them being there, but then again, she bitches about everything that has to do with her. I get the idea that she’d never been taken care of, and that’s why she freaks at the mere mention of something being done for her. She’s always been the one doing things for others.

That shit pisses me off no end, so I’ve gone out of my way in the months since I forced her to move in with me to spoil the shit out of her. It’s not like I have a choice. My fucking sister is always in my ear about how to woo my woman.

I keep reminding her that I’ve had women before, but she just rolls her eyes and calls them out their names under her breath before assuring me that Amanda is different. Like, I don’t know that shit on my own.

Anyway, she bitched about her security detail that follows us here every morning and stays until closing time. There’s usually a shift change around noon, but now I have grown men fighting to work sixteen-hour days because she keeps feeding them shit, and they all act like they’ve never tasted cupcakes before.

“Sorry about that, boss. Today’s special is lemon meringue. They taste a little like the key lime, but not really.” I just stared at him, and he at least had the decency to look sheepish.

“Uh, sorry, boss. I got carried away.”

She saw me coming and rushed to meet me. “What’s wrong? What did the doctor say?”

“Forget that. How come I didn’t get to taste the new flavor cupcake?” She’s gotten into the habit of letting Joy, and I taste her shit first since she’s always experimenting with different flavors, but this was the first I was hearing about the new one.

“It’s not new; it’s just today’s special.” She did some shit with her lips, and I knew she was mocking me.

“Is that what I look like?”

“Kind of, you’re pouting.” Oh, she likes that shit. I’m pretty sure she or someone is trying to turn me into her bitch because I’ve been doing a lot of things different since I found her.

In that vein, the Doc just might be right. But I won’t live this shit down if that shit is true. “What’s in the bag?” She looked down at the forgotten bag in my hand.

“Let’s go back there in your office.”

I was nervous as hell all over again. I don’t want anything to take that light from her eyes. It’s been there since she came home to me, and I make sure every night before she goes to sleep that it’s still there. That’s how I know that things are going well. I can’t be the one to remove that light, it would fucking gut me.

“So listen, I want you to listen very carefully.”

“Oh no, something’s wrong. Tell me, just tell me, we can get through whatever it is.” Her eyes started to tear up already, and that was enough for me. She was worried about me, and there wasn’t shit wrong with me.

“It’s not that, here.” I handed her the bag. I had a whole speech ready to give her, but her worry was too much for me. Better to get this shit over with.

“What’s all this?” She opened the bag, and I heard her draw in her breath and rushed to explain.

“The Doc thinks I got you pregnant, and I’m suffering sympathy pains or something. Trust me, it’s not my idea.” Fuck, if I was going to tell her, it could be anyone else but her. She looked a bit crestfallen after the explanation.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do this. I promise you that it doesn’t matter to me whether you are or not; I only want you.” I was rambling for sure, but anything to get that look off her face.

“This doesn’t bother me. I’ve done a hundred of these things, so I’m used to the disappointment. I made peace with it a long time ago.”

“So why do you have that look on your face?”

“Because this means that we still don’t know what’s wrong with you.” She walked towards the bathroom with the bag, and my gut twisted itself into knots.

She was in there for a long time, or at least it felt that way. I knocked on the door. “What does it say?” I heard the toilet flush, and then the water in the sink came on before she opened the door. I’d already lived three lifetimes at this point.

“We have to give it time. I just did it.” She looked like she wanted to laugh, so at least she wasn’t hurt by this. I pulled her back to her office and sat with her on my lap to comfort her just in case she was lying to me, and this shit was messing with her head.

“What do we have to do now?”

“We wait a couple minutes, then check to see if it changes.” She sounded very blasé while I was a nervous wreck. I’m not gonna lie; now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I wouldn’t mind having a kid with her, but I’m good either way. As long as I have her, I don’t need nor want anything else; at this point, a kid would just be a bonus.

I guess I figured kissing her was a good way to keep her mind off the shit that was going on in the bathroom, or it’s just that I like kissing her. That’s why I come here every afternoon when the rush is over to steal some kisses since I don’t see her again until late at night.

“I thought you wanted to see?” I was busy nibbling on her neck, which she leaned even more to the side to give me better access.

“How much time has gone by?”

“More than five minutes.” She sounded breathless and horny. If she keeps that up, I’ll do her right here with those college kids running around out there.

I tapped her hip to get her off of me, and we both went to see the results together. I didn’t know what the hell I was supposed to be looking at, but she took one look, and all the color drained from her face. “This can’t be right.” She put down the first one and picked up another, all with the same result.

“What is it? What do they say?” I picked up one of them, but I didn’t see one fucking word on the thing. “What does that bar mean?”

“It says that I’m pregnant. They all say that I’m pregnant, but that can’t be right.” She was in shock.