22. Michael

22

MICHAEL

I laid awake for hours staring at her, thanking my lucky stars that she still wanted me. It wasn't about sex or passion or what I could give her. She just wanted me.

Me .

The guy who fucked up and ruined her world.

I couldn't believe that I was lucky enough to get a second chance with her. After everything I'd done, she'd forgiven me and trusted me with her body. I was wholly unworthy, and she was still the same fucking goddess despite all the damage I'd caused.

I ran my fingers over her skin, cataloging every scar she'd been given that night. I paid little attention to them when I was worshiping her. I wanted to show her that I was attracted to her, and the scars meant nothing. But in the darkness when she was fast asleep, tears filled my eyes and pain stabbed me in the chest as I realized just how bad it was. She'd survived something horrible, and it was all my fault. No matter how much she said she wanted to move on, I knew I never could. I would always blame myself. I would always bear that cross.

A rap at the window pulled me back from the ledge of self-destruction. Very carefully, I untangled myself from her, making sure she was tucked in as I stood and walked to the front door. Silently, I let myself outside where Jack was waiting.

"What's going on?"

"Increased activity in the area," he said shortly. "It doesn't appear that they're headed this way."

My whole body stiffened as his words sank in. If Zavala's men were here already, that meant we had little chance of succeeding in our mission. "What kind of activity?"

"Relax, nothing substantial yet. We're getting reports of suspicious vehicles driving through, but so far, they've moved on. We've called in another team. They should be here at dawn. Just be prepared in case we have to move."

I nodded, relieved that nothing was certain yet. "Have the vehicles been tagged?"

"It's all taken care of. Our contact at the department is on top of it."

I blew out a harsh breath, running my fingers through my hair. "Alright. Keep me posted."

"Will do."

I headed back inside, stopping to stare at my sleeping beauty. Her hair flowed over her shoulders, laying across her chest. She'd moved while I was gone, the blanket pulled down just enough for me to see the swell of her breasts. I wanted so much more with her, but I didn't want to push things. No matter how much she said she was ready, the fear when I first touched her was burned into my mind. I never wanted her to respond to my touch like that again.

Slipping under the covers, I pulled her into my arms.

"Where were you?" she murmured.

"I just stepped outside to talk to Jack."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, he was just giving me a report."

"I missed you," she whispered, her hand sliding down my chest as she nuzzled my neck. I held my breath as her hand continued south, not stopping as she approached the top of my jeans.

"Claire—"

Her fingers gripped my zipper and slowly pulled it down. I wanted to tell her to stop—that there was no rush, but my body was thinking something entirely different.

"I missed this," she said, nipping my earlobe. Her hand wrapped around my girth, stroking me gently in the tight confines.

"Claire, you don't have to?—"

"I want to."

She sat up, completely unabashed at her nakedness. She straddled my legs as her fingers latched onto my jeans, pulling them down my legs. I made quick work of lifting my hips and sliding my boxers off. My cock sprang up, thick and heavy, waiting for her hand as she stared at my growing length.

The moment she gripped me in her hands, I sucked in a breath, leaking as she ran her thumb over the slit. "Baby," I said in a strangled whisper.

"Do you know how many nights I laid awake dreaming of you when you were off on one of your missions?"

"What did you dream about?" I ventured.

"This…" She stroked my cock slowly, her fingers squeezing slightly as she reached the tip. "I always loved taking you in my hand."

I groaned, my hips jerking involuntarily as she sped up slightly. "I always loved the way you hardened in my hands. It made me feel powerful—like I could get you to do anything for me."

"You don't have to stroke my cock for me to do something. I'll do anything for you. Just say the words."

"I like watching you come apart from my touch. I like knowing that I hold that power over you."

"You always have," I hissed.

Something changed in her eyes, almost like I had challenged her. She bent over, her lips slowly descending until they wrapped around my length, swallowing me whole. My whole body went stiff as she pushed me to the back of her throat. I was so close to coming. It took everything in me not to shoot off at the feel of her throat tightening around me.

My hand shot out, snatching her hair in a fist as she worked my cock. It had been too long since I'd felt her in my arms, but this…this was always one of my favorite things. She was absolutely fucking right. She had this power over me, a way of controlling me and making me come undone from her touch. She knew what she was doing, but it wasn't just that. It was the way she so wholly handed herself over to me, getting on her knees to prove she would do anything for me, all the while proving that I was at her command one hundred percent of the time.

I was so close to coming, but I didn't want to shoot in her mouth. I wanted to be inside her, to feel her warmth wrapped around me the way I'd been dreaming about for years.

"Baby," I whispered, grabbing her by the arms to pull her off me. She struggled, wanting to finish what she started, but finally relented. I dragged her up my body, my cock sliding across her belly and smearing her. I slid my lips over hers, guiding her underneath me as I rolled us and settled between her legs. My cock prodded her entrance, but I hesitated, looking into her eyes for confirmation.

I saw no fear, no anxiety. Desire shone bright as she spread her legs wider for me. I slowly slid inside her, holding back when all I wanted was to fuck her hard. Five years was a long time for both of us. If I went too fast, I would finish in three seconds. And I could tell by the strangled look on her face that she was struggling to take my girth.

I pulled back, then slowly entered her again, taking it just a little further this time. Her hand shot up, her fingers latching onto my shoulders and digging into my skin. I bent down, brushing my lips over hers, trying to distract her from the pain. I felt the scar tissue earlier when my fingers had been deep inside her. Those bastards had torn her apart, but I would replace the feel of their bodies against hers with my cock. I would hold her until she was sure the only man who would ever be inside her again was me.

"Michael," she said breathlessly.

I slid my nose along hers, pressing kisses all over her face. I worshiped her, sliding my hands over her body, feeling the heavy weight of her breasts in my hands. I memorized every inch of her body, every scar, every curve, every fucking inch of her skin.

I finally understood it, the love I had for this woman. I never really understood how much I needed her before. I let everything else cloud my judgment when it came to her, but since losing her, I'd lived a half-life. I'd spent my nights alone, always wishing I was with her. And now I truly understood what a gift it was to hold her in my arms and feel her warm breath on my skin. I would fight any demon to keep her by my side and in my bed for the rest of my life.

She hitched her leg around my waist, drawing me in deeper. I lost control, my hips slamming against her body as I fucked her deeper. My breaths shattered as I came hard inside her and felt her body tighten around me. Her nails dug into my back, clawing at me as her own orgasm swept over her.

I rested my forehead against hers, kissing her lazily as I pulled her closer. A light puff of laughter spilled from her lips as she slid her fingers along the back of my neck.

"You're going to crush me."

"I love feeling you under me."

"How about snuggled up against you? I can hardly breathe, you big oaf."

Rolling off her, I didn't let her out of my grasp, wrapping her up in my arms as her back pressed against my chest. I settled my hand around her breast, cupping it in my hand as I let my thumb idly play with her nipple. Despite the heat of her body, I pulled the blanket up to cover her, knowing she would be chilly in just seconds.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked.

"No. It just took a minute to adjust."

"No bad memories?"

"Not a single one."

I pressed my lips to her cheek, thankful I hadn't pushed things too far. I knew I hadn't erased the nightmares from her mind, but hopefully, it was a step in the right direction.