Chapter 7 - Astrid

I stared at the book in my hand, skimming the words but not taking any of them in. Instead, my mind kept dragging back to what Rand had said. The thought that the Gray Wolf had let me go on purpose was more than a little disturbing, if only because of how close to correct it was. I needed to come up with a game plan in case it became a real accusation. I thought I would probably be able to bluff my way out of it, but the thought of getting caught still nagged at the back of my mind.

I also needed to find out a way to get closer to the investigation. I felt as though I only had the most basic of intel at this point, things that wouldn't be of much use to Ansel regardless. It seemed that so far, all I'd achieved in the few days I'd been here was getting bored out of my mind.

The couch sagged as someone sat on the opposite side. I peered over my book to see Rand looking at me.

"What's up?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I wanted to see how you were doing. I was hoping we could finally catch up."

"Why now? It's not as though I haven't been here for a few days." Still, despite myself, I placed my book down and turned to face him. I took in the way his muscles still seemed to ripple even as he lounged. Much to my annoyance, I actually wanted to talk to him.

"Last time I asked, you were more than a little closed off," he said. "I was hoping you might be more open now that it's been a few days."

"Why does it matter?"

"Because." He left it at that.

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to pester me until I do?"

"Naturally." He gave that charming grin that could melt hearts, and my own thumped a bit harder.

I tried not to let it show on my face as I rolled my eyes. "All right, fine. What is it you want to know exactly?"

"Before all this happened, what were you up to?" he asked. He gestured as he did, and I watched the muscles in his arms flex again. I forced myself to breathe as my mind started drifting toward all the times he'd held me in those arms.

"Work, mostly," I said. "Have to pay the bills somehow."

"Doing what?"

I shrugged. "I lost the waitressing job," I admitted. "Sort of got a bit distracted and missed one too many shifts." The embarrassing truth was that the break-up had messed with my head for longer than it should have, and I'd just sort of neglected going to work or doing much of anything until Thea helped drag me back to reality. But losing the job had been the start of the downward slope that had led me to Ansel and his crew, who had made me feel accepted for the first time in a long time. "So I did a few odd jobs."

"What about now? I'm sure your boss is worried about you."

"Don't have one," I lied. "I'm between jobs at the moment."

"I always kind of thought you might go back to school," he said, startling me. "You always talked about wanting to be a healer. I was kind of hoping you had gotten your chance, you know?"

"Never had the money," I said. "Thea's always had a hard time keeping a job because shifters are prejudiced and bigoted about absents, so it's not as though we had the income to afford it."

I didn't need to mention the fact that when Rand and I had been dating, things had been better financially. Splitting the bills with someone had been the only reason we had gotten by.

If any of this crossed his mind, or if he suspected I was thinking any of this at all, he didn't show it. He simply nodded in understanding.

"What about a mate?" he ventured.

"Nope." I tried not to grit my teeth.

"Boyfriend?"

I bristled. "Nope." And I don't see how it's any of your business , I thought. I had dated a couple of guys since Rand, but nothing that had stuck. It hadn't felt like any of them had really understood me. And none of them had treated Thea particularly well. The only one who had, I found out later that he'd made fun of my sister behind her back, which was the final straw with him.

"Really?" Was that hopefulness I heard in his voice? And why did it matter to me if it was? "I would have expected you to settle down with someone and start a family by now."

"Pretty sure I would have mentioned them when I said I had to get home. So yes, really . Besides, Thea's all the family I need," I said, and I truly meant it.

"I know. I'm still a bit taken aback. I would have thought you'd have a dozen shifters fighting for you at any given time." He shrugged. "Not that I'm complaining, though I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. You're the type of girl who needs a guy who can keep up with her."

I raised an eyebrow. "I'm picky," I said.

He gave a feral, wolfish grin that made my stomach do a somersault. "I know. I'm flattered I made the cut."

"You did once." I raised an eyebrow, looking him up and down. "I've gotten pickier."

His eyes sparkled as that grin, far more attractive than it had any right to be, widened. "Is that so?"

"Yes," I said. My wolf wanted nothing more than to lunge toward him right now and kiss him, but the fact that he somehow still had that effect on me after all this time set me on edge. I needed to focus.

"Well, then." He leaned forward, looming toward me until his face and mine were inches apart. My breath caught in my throat as his scent washed over me, making the rest of my mind go temporarily blank. I could see the harsh lines of his face, the sharp jawbone, every individual eyelash. If I moved at all, I would close the gap. "Challenge accepted."

"You're still as presumptuous as ever, I see," I said.

"You say presumptuous, I say right."

"Being stubborn isn't the same as being right."

He chuckled, moving to sit back. The space between us now felt entirely too far. "It's not stubborn if you're always right," he said arrogantly.

I bristled, a low growl starting in my throat. I remembered these types of fights. They had driven me insane on a regular basis. I saw the knowing grin creeping across his face and realized he'd been trying to get a rise out of me. I took a breath, trying to push down my irritation.

"What about you?" I asked to change the subject.

"Oh, you know." He waved his hand in a vague gesture. "I met a few people on my travels, but that's it."

"Right," I said. "You didn't want to get attached."

He shrugged. "Well, it wasn't as though settling down was ever on the agenda for me. Besides, getting attached would have been too dangerous for them. You know that."

I frowned. "What do you mean, ‘I know that?'"

He studied me, and I saw the genuine confusion on his face. "I mean, that's why we broke up. Us staying together was going to put you in danger, and so it was better if we broke up. We had that whole fight, remember?"

My jaw clenched, and I glared at him. "Of course I remember. It wasn't an easy fight to forget."

He scratched his chin as if contemplating. "Yeah, I guess that was one of our more memorable fights," he acknowledged.

My mouth opened. "You're really going to be that cavalier about it all?"

His brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

I stood, moving away before rounding to face him again, all that frustration growing again. "Do you really think that the fight was about you breaking up with me to protect me?"

He shrugged. "Sure. I get it wasn't a fun fight, but I figured we were past it by now."

"It wasn't a fun fight?" I repeated, trying to process the words as my anger began to simmer. It boiled over, and I exploded. "That ‘not fun' fight wasn't because you broke up with me to protect me. Our fight happened because I woke up in the middle of the night and noticed you weren't there. I went to look for you and found you in the kitchen writing a fucking break-up note ."

The memory flooded back to me, as vivid as if it had happened just this morning. I remembered walking down the hall in our cramped house to the living room and noticing a packed duffle bag by the door. I remembered hearing heavy boots in the kitchen and going to see what was going on. I remember seeing Rand hunched over the table, scribbling on a sheet of paper. I remember the guilty but determined expression on his face when he realized I was there and he wasn't going to make the quiet escape he'd imagined.

All of this flooded my mind and memory in an instant. Present-day Rand sat in front of me, not moving. He frowned, his eyes narrowing. "You know why I did that," he said. "And it wasn't as though you didn't know I was leaving. I told you I wanted to hunt monsters. You supported me. You told me to go for it."

"I didn't know you were leaving that day or in the middle of the night. And I sure as hell didn't know you were breaking up with me. At least not until I read the damn note."

"It was for the best," he argued. In my mind, I saw the younger Rand saying the same words as he tried to move past me into the living room while I continued to block his path.

"For who? You? So you could avoid confrontation?" I taunted.

"Watch it," he barked. "That wasn't the reason, and you know it."

I gave a harsh laugh. "Then tell me, what the hell turned you into such a massive dick? We dated for nearly two years. At that time, I never would have thought you would do something like that. I thought you were better than that. Turns out I was wrong. And considering you have no remorse for what you did, I can only imagine you're still the same asshole and haven't learned your lesson."

"I did it to protect you!" he argued. "I told you as much. I was going into a profession notorious for making enemies. If any of them found out I had someone I cared about, they could have used you against me. I would have been indirectly putting you in danger."

"All of that is great," I said sarcastically. "Except when you try to sneak out like a coward and use a note to break up with me."

He stalked toward me, his massive frame hovering over me. I narrowed my eyes as I looked up at him. Those intense eyes of his stared into me, a mixture of frustration and desire lurking there. I saw them flick up and down my body in a way that made my toes curl and my body grow warm despite my better judgment. But this was the way it had always been between us. The anger seemed to only intensify the craving.

The scent of maple filled my nose. My wolf flexed her claws inside, growling with her own need. I stepped back, trying to move away from him before my back pressed against the wall.

"I did what I thought was best," he growled. "I didn't want you or Thea hurt."

"You could have asked," I snapped. "You could have told me. What the hell did you think was going to happen if I hadn't found you? That I would just see the note and go, ‘Oh, okay. Guess the guy I thought I loved and who I assumed would be a part of my life forever is gone now. I wonder what's for dinner?'"

"You would have argued," he pointed out.

"Of course I would have. Because I cared enough about us to fight for you. Apparently, you didn't."

He snarled. His hands slammed into the wall on either side of me, pinning me in. He leaned forward until our faces were inches apart. Anger and need swirled inside me, blending together until they were impossible to differentiate. A fire began between my legs as my own frustration built and climbed.

"Of course I cared about you," he said. His breath caressed my cheek. "If I didn't, I wouldn't have left."

I laughed. "That's not how it works." I tried to push him away, but he grabbed my wrists, putting them over my head and keeping them there. I glared up at him, fully aware of his mouth so close to mine and how his free hand had moved to my hip, his thumb slowly stroking a bare patch of skin that had appeared as my hem rose. His smell and touch were dizzying, enough to make any woman drunk. I forced myself to pay attention to the argument, not to focus on the way his eyes raked over my body or how my skin felt electrified wherever he touched me.

"If you cared, we would have talked it out," I said.

"You wouldn't have listened," he said, his voice lowering as the gap between us began to shrink.

"I would've listened," I argued. "And after I'd finished listening, I would have told you you were being a stupid, pig-headed idiot who needed to get his head out of his ass."

He gave a sardonic grin, then let out a soft chuckle. His hand tightened around my waist. "You would have," he murmured. "It was one of the things I liked about you."

"Stop flirting when we're having a fight," I snarled, even as my wolf pushed at me, muddling my anger with her own need. "You left me in one of the worst ways possible. You expected me to get over it just like that?"

"I expected you to understand."

"Understand you didn't think about all the ways you sneaking off in the middle of the night could go wrong? Absolutely. "

He growled. "You are the most stubborn, infuriating—"

"That makes two of us."

"Do you realize how hard it was to leave you?" he asked. "How much I've missed you?"

"You have a funny way of proving it," I fired back.

His eyes blazed, not just with anger but unmistakable lust. He leaned forward.

"You want me to prove it to you?" he growled, pressing his body against mine.

"I'd like to see you try."

That seemed to break the last of his resolve. With a primal snarl, he yanked me toward him, clearing those final few inches, and his mouth collided with mine.

Every kiss, every touch seemed fueled by both lust and anger, years of pent-up emotion spilling through our bodies. Rage and passion and need seemed to jolt through me. I hated him and needed him to fuck me senseless at the same time.

His hand tangled in my hair, and he forced my head upward. His lips slammed against mine as he pushed me against the wall. He grabbed my wrists, pinning them over my head in one large, calloused hand.

"You are the most stubborn, infuriating woman I have ever met," he growled.

"And you're an asshole who always thinks he's right," I bit back, even as the heat built inside me.

He snarled again, free hand roaming down my side to rest at my hip as he leaned toward me.

"You want to say that again?" he asked. I could feel the heat radiating off him, a different kind of heat beginning to burn my insides as he pulled me closer to him. Everywhere his hands touched became electrified.

I met his gaze, my own eyes filled with a bizarre combination of lust and anger. His mouth was inches from mine.

"You're an asshole who always thinks he's right," I said.

He slammed his lips against mine. He kissed me greedily, hungrily, as if he'd been waiting a century to kiss me again. Want and passion and anger pushed the kiss forward, making it fill every part of my body.

Fingers slipped beneath my waistband, grabbing my ass as he held me in place. His other hand released my wrists to move beneath my shirt, trailing upward, sending new sparks of fire and electricity running through me.

All reason flew out the window, replaced with pure desire. I tugged at his shirt, wanting him to take it off. He obliged. His chest and stomach were perfectly sculpted, more perfect than I remembered, ever muscle defined, somehow making him look even larger. I wanted to feel his bare chest against mine, to trace the lines of his abs and dig my nails into his shoulders.

Before I could move, he grabbed the front of my shirt, ripping it in his haste to get it off and throwing it to the side. He looked me up and down with a hungry, proprietary look, the kind that used to make me burn with need. Apparently, that was still the case. Even though I was still furious with him, I needed him. I saw the bulge in his pants grow and swell with every second.

I didn't wait. I unclasped my bra, throwing it to the side. His eyes locked onto my breasts as the bulge in his pants grew even more. Just seeing it, knowing what lay beneath and the things he could do with it, doubled that need inside me.

His hands went to my breast, squeezing tight. "I've forgotten how much I like these," he growled, pinching and twisting my nipple, sending ripples of desire rushing through me.

"And whose fault is that?" I gasped.

His eyes sparked as his mouth curled into a smirk.

"You still got a mouth on you, then," he said, pinching tighter. "I've always liked you when you're feisty."

"You're a—"

He grabbed me by the waist, hauling me up like it was nothing, hands gripping tight as he brought me over to the couch. He put me down, and before I could move, one of his large hands went to my breast, pinning me in place while the other moved between my legs.

"I also remember how to make you behave," he growled, his fingers circling my vagina, teasing, toying with me. His thumb pressed against my clit, and I groaned, forgetting everything else around me. Right then, the only thing that mattered were his hands, one grasping my breast, the other plunging into me, sending new ripples of electricity jolting through me.

I writhed beneath his touch, moaning as my hands clawed at his arm. His mouth pressed against mine, swallowing my groans as his hand worked faster, thrusting in and out of me with the skill of an artisan. I closed my eyes as the pleasure built, swelling to the point it was nearly unbearable.

Then the fingers vanished. I opened my eyes to see a smirking Rand hovering above me, thumb still stroking my clit but slowly, tantalizingly, keeping me on the edge. Judging by the glimmer in his eyes, he knew exactly what he was doing.

"I'm going to savor this," he said. "I forgot how good it feels to make you squirm."

I would have fired back, but my mind had gone deliciously blank. All I could think about was how close I was to coming, and how badly I needed that release. Removing his hand, he rubbed his cock along my slit before he pressed it against my opening, taunting me.

He met my gaze, that dazzling smirk on his face as he waited, one final tease as he gauged my reaction.

He slammed into me, pumping in and out as I yelled and writhed, spouting curses at him and trying to claw at him even as my body screamed for more. My wolf yowled with need, loving the way he dominated me, making me think of all the times he had done so in the past, fueling that desire and craving even more. My mind went blank, totally hungry for him. I knew I was close to falling over the edge, to submitting to him entirely.

His mouth went to my neck, biting gently on my collarbone, and that was the final straw. I shattered, crying out in ecstasy as that pressure released, pleasure running through my entire body. My body clenched, muscles spasming with delight as my hips bucked, riding that sensation for as long as I could, wanting it to last forever. Just as my own climax was coming to an end, I felt his start as he filled me with cum.

We both panted, his cock still inside me as we looked at one another, both processing what had just happened and both of us coming to our own conclusion. And I realized I had just made things a lot more complicated.