Chapter 17 - Astrid

I shifted back to human, nearly collapsing from exhaustion as I threw on clothes and flopped beneath a tree. My body screamed in exhaustion, my stomach growling. I hadn't given myself time to stop and eat or drink. I'd just been running. First toward Thea, and then away from Rand.

I fumbled for the water in the emergency bag I'd stashed. It was old and stale and warm, but I guzzled it down, drinking until my stomach hurt. Finally, I stopped, leaning against the tree and closing my eyes. The water hadn't been enough to stop the hunger, so I fumbled through the bag and pulled out dried jerky. I nibbled at it, trying not to think about the smell of rabbit that had wafted toward me as I ran. I could have killed it and eaten it, and I almost had. But I hadn't wanted to waste any precious seconds.

I hated the fact that I was resting now, but I could tell I was close to passing out, and that wouldn't do any of us any good.

I sniffed the air, trying to catch any scents of shifters on the air. I had been looking over my shoulder the entire time I was running but hadn't seen anyone. In a way, that made me even more uneasy. I knew Rand had to have told everyone. I would have thought they would start chasing me immediately. I hadn't thought I would get anywhere near this far.

I was fairly certain I was only a couple hours away from where I thought they would be holding Thea. I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I'd take it.

The only problem was it didn't feel like a gift. It felt like a ticking bomb.

I couldn't let myself focus on the anxiety running through me, though. I had to figure out a plan. Ansel and his group would probably be leaving for Brixton, if they hadn't already. Or maybe they would take cars, in which case it would take them half the time. And I had no idea how many people he might have on guard.

Another pit of fear had settled in my stomach. If Dana or anyone had been watching me to make sure I upheld my end of the bargain, then Ansel would already know what I'd done. Thea could be dead by now.

Yet, I didn't think that was his style. As much as I hated to imagine it, I thought he would hold Thea until he could get his hands on me. He would want me to watch her die before killing me.

In a way, then, I might be playing right into his hands.

The thought sent a chill running through me, but I couldn't focus on that. Even if that was a possibility, it wasn't going to change what I was about to do.

The morning sun beat down, pleasantly warm in the shade. I closed my eyes, ready to get up in a couple of minutes.

When I opened my eyes again, my stomach lurched. The sun was in an entirely different part of the sky, and the shadows had moved. I had fallen asleep.

I scrambled up, trying to gauge how long I had been asleep. At least a couple of hours. But then I sniffed the air, and a new panic washed over me. A familiar scent wafted through the trees. Not Rand, thank god, but one of the other Silver Wolves, so almost as bad.

I scrambled for my pack, digging around for my knife, hoping I wasn't too late and hoping I wouldn't have to use it.

A cracking branch sounded behind me, and I spun around, pulling out the knife and dropping into a fighter's crouch.

A large brown wolf stepped out from behind the trees. He stayed there for a moment, tilting his head. A moment later, the wolf was gone and Tannen had reemerged, eyes cold but not furious. His gaze flicked toward the blade, then back up to me.

We stayed like that for a while, neither of us moving, neither of us saying anything. It was as though we were both waiting for something to drop, both waiting for the other to make the first move that never came.

"Are you going to attack me?" he asked. "Because if what Rand says is true, I don't know why you haven't already."

"Stay back," I ordered, even though I knew my only way of backing up my threat was the thin blade of steel clutched in my hand. "I don't want to hurt you, but I swear to god, if you come a step closer, I won't hold back. Let me go. I have other things I have to deal with."

He stayed where he was. "I like to think I'm pretty smart," he said, eyes still flicking between my hand and my face. "And I don't think you would randomly come out and tell Rand the truth out of guilt. I think it's more likely that you would leave in the middle of the night, maybe leaving a note so we know what's happening. So either the whole thing is an incredible ploy by the Gray Wolf to throw us off our game, or you needed to tell him. Otherwise, you could have just run off without saying anything."

He waited, arms folded, as I stared at him. I glanced around, sniffing the air to smell any of the other Silver Wolves. But it was just him.

"Tell me the truth, and I won't hurt you," he said. "I think there's more going on than meets the eye, and I want to know what it is. I don't like making rash decisions when I know I don't have all the facts." His lip quirked upward. "Unlike a certain other shifter we could name."

The quip caught me so off-guard that I actually gave a soft snort and lowered the knife.

"It's my sister, Thea," I said. "They kidnapped her and are now holding her, saying they'll kill her if I don't help. I tried explaining all that to Rand, but he was too angry to listen. He just assumed it was all a trick."

"Can you blame him?"

"Probably not," I admitted. "But I didn't want to kill him or let any of the rest of you die, either. So I told him because I thought he would help."

Tannen's jaw clenched as he chewed over my words, looking me up and down as he tried to figure out if I was lying. I waited, my stomach a pretzel as I wondered how he would react. He hadn't tackled me or tried to attack, so there was at least still some hope.

"Don't get me wrong, but how am I supposed to trust you?" he asked eventually.

I gritted my teeth. Were all the Silver Wolves this stubborn?

"If I really wanted you or Rand or any of the others dead, do you think I would have told Rand any of it? Don't you think it would have been a hell of a lot easier for me to just kill him after we had sex?"

His eyebrows shot up. So Rand hadn't told them everything, then. "I was wondering about that," he admitted. "I had a feeling."

"If you come a step closer, I won't hold back," I said. "I took a massive gamble. It failed. Now my sister is in danger because of me. She's going to die unless I do something. So believe me when I say that the only way you're bringing me back to Brixton before I've helped my sister is in a body bag."

Tannen regarded me with an intelligent, studious look. "There's going to be hell to pay if they find out I found you and let you go," he remarked.

"Right now, I'm pretty sure you have bigger fish to fry," I retorted. "Specifically, the fact that Brixton is about to be run over by a bunch of apparently murderous shifters bent on killing all the Silver Wolves so you won't be a threat when they go after the council."

He drummed his fingers on the side of his leg. "Tell me what you know," he said, "and I'll make my decision on whether to bring you back after."

It was as good a conciliation as I was likely to get. I lowered the knife, trying to make myself as unthreatening as possible.

"The attack's tomorrow night," I said. "There will probably be about twenty of them. Ansel mentioned midnight, but there's a chance he'll move earlier if he sees an opportunity or if he thinks I've been compromised."

"Do you think he knows what happened?"

"I wouldn't put it past him," I said. "The guy has spies all over the place. That's why I have to go now. Every minute I waste here is another minute when they could kill Thea."

He scratched his chin, frowning at me. "And I'm just supposed to take your word on all this?"

I clenched my teeth to avoid screaming in frustration. "We could do this song and dance for a month. Either trust me, or don't."

Tannen stayed silent, as if he was still debating. This time, the quiet and stillness was too much for me.

"It's my fault," I choked out. "Thea said she thought something was off about that group years ago, but I needed the money. If I'd just listened to her back then, none of this would have happened."

Tannen listened, nodding. I couldn't tell if he believed a word of what I was saying or thought I was full of shit and was preparing to grab me when he thought he had a good shot.

"Do you realize how much faith I'd be putting in you if I just waltzed away right now?" he asked. "Because it would be a lot."

"I know," I said. "But please, take my word for it."

"Again, your word isn't worth much at the moment," he said. "I'm not saying that I don't believe you, but walking away right now seems like a dumb decision."

I gritted my teeth. "Let me put it this way." I raised the knife again. "I'm going after Thea. I'll come quietly and stand trial, or get arrested, or whatever you guys want. But only after I get her out of that hellhole. I'm making sure my sister is safe first. I'm not letting her die."

Tannen stayed where he was, face inscrutable.

"Just… let me go save her," I plead. "Please."

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking back up at me. "You going by yourself is a stupid decision," he said. "I'll come with."

I shook my head. "No. Go back and tell the others what I told you about the attack." When he looked at me dubiously, I added, "Rand didn't listen. One of you should at least know what's going on and tell the others. I'll be fine."

"You sure about that?" he asked, not bothering to hide his disbelief.

I snorted, shaking my head and brushing the hair away from my forehead. "I'm not sure about anything at this point," I admitted. "But there aren't a whole lot of other options, now, are there?"

He tilted his head back and forth in a "you're not wrong" gesture. "Odds are, this is an incredibly dumb decision. You know that, right?"

"You've said as much."

"Right. Right." He scratched his head, looking around as he weighed the limited options.

"Go warn the others," I urged. "Worst thing that can happen to me is that I die."

"That's… pretty bad. You do realize that, right?"

"Sure," I conceded. "But it's preferable to the whole town getting destroyed and a lot more people dying. Which will likely happen unless you tell them what I've told you."

Tannen rubbed his face. "You really are as stubborn as Rand," he muttered. "I didn't think it was possible."

My mouth quirked upward. "So you know how serious I am, then."

"No kidding." He shook his head, staring off into the trees. He nodded, coming to a decision. I waited, not breathing.

"Get your sister," he said. "I'll tell the others. If you tell me where you're going, then maybe we can spare someone to go that way once we've assessed everything."

I sagged, nearly collapsing into a puddle in relief. "Thank you," I said.

"Don't," he warned. "I'm betraying my best friend to do this. Thank me by saving your sister."

"I intend to."

He gave a short jerk of his head, then shifted back to his great brown wolf. He nodded once at me before disappearing into the trees.

I stayed where I was, waiting, listening, half-expecting an ambush. My wolf tugged at me, begging to keep moving to get to Thea, but I wanted to make sure it hadn't been some sort of trap. After a minute, the grip on my knife loosened, my shoulders uncoiling.

The only sound came from the birds overhead, and the only smell was that of earth and dirt and the woods. No one was coming. It hadn't been a trick.

I forced myself to move, knowing I had no time to waste. I stuffed my knife in my bag, then stripped, shoving my clothes in as well. When I was done, I shifted, grabbed the bag in my mouth, then charged through the woods, ready to rescue my sister.