Chapter 5 - Kyle

The wedding is swiftly arranged, and a couple of days later, I’m standing in the locker rooms of the town’s main hall, putting on the best clothes that I own. A gray shirt, black pants, and a dark blue tie. Bae let me borrow his black jacket.

I stand in front of the long mirrors, the large room seeming to echo around me. It has the hollow silence of a place that feels like it should be full of people—so when it’s not, it seems to be full of ghosts.

Ghosts from my past.

They rise around me, looming over my shoulders. The most recent ones from my undercover work hit me first. I knew how to handle those guys because I’ve done it my whole life.

That hint is all it takes for my mind to go tumbling down a great, twisting rabbit hole of dark memories. Horrible things I’ve done, dirty places I’ve been, and deals I should never have made.

I put one hand on the mirror and lean on it, trying to calm my pounding heart. I take in a few slow, deep breaths, waiting for the moment to pass.

The big swing doors shriek, and I hear footsteps on the tiles. The strong, purposeful strides and the scent announce the person’s identity.

Bailey.

“Hey, bud.” Bae hurries over to me, clapping me hard on the shoulder. “Are you okay?”

I nod slowly, trying to breathe. I don’t know what to say.

“It’s okay, man. It really is. I felt the same, and so did Jack. This is all going to work out, I promise you.”

You don’t understand.

“Do you really think so?” I say instead.

“I do,” Bailey affirms. “Trust me. This is good for the pack, and it’ll be good for you, too.”

The words echo through me. Of course he’ll tell me it’s going to be good for me. He wants what’s best for the pack. That means I just have to suck it up.

“Ready?” Bae asks, and I know it’s not really a question.

“Yeah,” I answer, straightening up.

I follow Bae out into the hall, where Carson is waiting near the stage. There are only a few elders present, as well as Gina, Lena, and Jack. I’m surprised to see Carla and Derek as well.

I flick my gaze away quickly before I can make eye contact with Derek. I notice that he does the exact same thing. I have nothing to say to him, and it looks like he doesn’t want to face me, either.

My father was his brother, but that doesn’t mean we’re family. When Carla gives me a little wave, though, I have to wave back. That woman is love personified, and I’ll never have anything against her.

She’s someone else I should really apologize to, if I can grow the balls for it.

I walk up to Carson and wait, my hands clasped in front of me. There is a little bit of quiet chatter that echoes through the large space. It makes me feel isolated, and lonely.

Suddenly, the big doors open up at the back, and I see a dark figure striding towards us. The doors smack closed again with a crash that shakes the hinges.

Leslie .

The first thing I notice is the deep blue of her dress. It has a snug bodice of midnight blue with a very low, heart-shaped neckline. A sweep of pale blue, light fabric wraps around her waist, sweeps up over one shoulder, and flutters down into the full, flowing skirt. Her beautiful pale brown hair is loose and free, a cascade of honey-colored curls that falls across the creamy white skin of her exposed shoulders. Against the shimmering blues of her dress, her gray eyes glint like crystal, picking up the color and reflecting it back in a myriad of glinting prisms.

My chest feels tight. My hands twitch. I have no idea how I’m supposed to control myself in front of her.

I have to. She isn’t happy about any of this. Don’t make it any harder than it has to be.

She smiles when she reaches me, taking my hands in hers. Her smile doesn’t fade, and it looks like there is real joy lurking in her gaze. When she glances at Carson, then the small crowd, she ducks her head just a little and blinks bashfully.

Damn… she’s a good actress.

Carson conducts the ceremony quickly, and we sign the forms. A few other people from both packs have arrived with gifts and to give their blessing, but this is nowhere near as big as an alpha or beta’s wedding.

At the edge of the room, there are a few fold-up tables set up with food and gifts. Leslie and I sit side by side as pack members come forward to congratulate us, including her parents. They don’t say much, just that they are proud of her and hope she does well. From the way Leslie reacts to them, I’m guessing they aren’t close.

There is some decent champagne, and we all toast. The moment overcomes me, and I reach out and take Leslie’s hand, giving it a squeeze. She turns her head sharply towards me, her mouth set in a straight line and her eyes hard. The shock of seeing her so upset rings through me, making sweat break out along my sides. She very carefully removes her hand from mine and turns back to the guests with a smile.

I try not to touch her again after that. We move around a bit, sampling the finger food and mingling, but I don’t actually talk to anyone.

I feel as awkward as a goose at a sock hop.

“Hey,” I hear a voice close beside me and almost jump in shock. It’s Jack, and he laughs softly. “Looks like you got it bad, bro,” he says.

I nod, watching my gorgeous wife laughing and joking with some of the other girls. The sweeping lines of the dress and the draping edges frame her waist, large breasts, and wide hips. My hands are almost aching with desperation, a deep, craving need to stroke and caress those wonderful curves.

“Yeah. I got it bad. I know.”

“Stop looking so down, then! It’s your wedding day… and almost your wedding night.”

I smile, shaking my head. “I have no expectations.”

“Good. That’s a great attitude to have,” Jack says mischievously. “But I’ve seen her checking you out, too, so don’t get too woeful over it.”

“Really?” I ask, feeling a stab of hope. Not that she’ll want me… tonight, or any night. I don’t deserve that. But if she’s ready to talk, maybe I can finally explain.

Jack winks at me. “More than once, I’ve seen her checking you out. She’s got it almost as bad as you do, make no mistake.”

I can’t really answer as Jack walks away. There’s no way I’m going to believe that, even though I know he wouldn’t lie to me.

The reception wraps up, and as I approach Leslie by the doors, Gladys and Decker hand us a gift voucher from one of the most luxurious resorts in the area. They booked us the honeymoon suite as a gift.

“This is exceedingly generous,” I say, looking over the card. I hand it over to Leslie, and she smiles broadly, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

“This is beautiful! Thank you so much, Gladys!”

The two women hug, and Gladys wishes us luck. After we bid the last of our guests goodbye, we head out to my truck.

The moment we are shut into the confined space, I feel the awkwardness return. Leslie’s eager smile disappears completely, and her face goes blank.

I’m too scared to try making conversation. I feel like some kind of masochist. She keeps shutting me down, but I can’t stop going back for more.

I’ve spent most of my life chasing pain. How is this any different?

The staff at the resort greet us warmly and show us to the suite. There is a beautiful platter of finger foods and a bottle of champagne chilling in an ice bucket. The entire suite is luxurious and beautifully furnished.

There is only one bed. I stand in the doorway, staring at it, wondering what I should say to Leslie.

She comes up beside me, and I hear her laugh softly. She’s already taken off her shoes and has a glass of champagne in her hand.

“Don’t worry, Kyle. I won’t make you sleep on the couch, or the floor. The bed is big enough for two.”

I turn to her, my heart full of hope. Maybe she wants to work this out.

Jack said he saw her looking at me. Maybe she wants to—

“Don’t get any ideas, though,” she adds sternly. “We’ll make a line of pillows between us. There won’t be any accidents or temptation.”

“Okay,” I say softly.

Leslie takes a sip of the champagne and gives a little hum of pleasure. “It’s good stuff. We should take advantage of the suite. It was a nice gift.”

“I agree,” I say, trying to figure out how to bring up using the bed as well.

Leslie watches me, her face hard and impossible to read. Her big gray eyes are wide, echoing with something like regret.

I’m so fucking confused right now.

I look back at the bed, and Leslie sighs.

“Look, you don’t have to worry, Kyle. I know we have to get used to sharing the same space, but I understand this is an arranged marriage. I’ll make sure there’s no danger of you messing up anything else you’ve got going on.”

A strange feeling flickers through me as I turn to face her. “Wait. What did you say?”

Leslie glares at me, her mouth a straight line as her eyes harden. “I know you’re with someone else, Kyle. Maybe even more than one. That’s why you had to keep us a secret, and why you broke up with me.”

“What?”

“Oh, come on,” she says in exasperation. She takes another big gulp of champagne. “There’s some rumor going around that Jack took the last marriage arrangement because you had a regular girlfriend back in Bailey’s pack.”

Darla?

I never imagined this information could come back to haunt me like this, and it might be the stupidest mistake I’ve ever made.

“Yes, I did tell them I had a serious girlfriend, but it was you!”

“Oh my fucking God!” Leslie cries, somewhere between humor and anger. “I didn’t expect you to sink this low. They said she was from your pack—and no one sure as hell knows you were with me.”

I stare at her, my thoughts working furiously. She’s right. No one knew that I was with her. Whenever I talked about my serious girlfriend, I deliberately let people assume whatever they wanted and kept the details vague.

“Look, Leslie, I did what I did to protect you. If you just—”

“Protect me?” she hisses, her voice catching in her throat. “Is that what you call it?”

The hand holding the champagne trembles a little, and for a frightening moment, I think she’s going to throw it at me. She drinks it down in one gulp instead and puts it down on the table a bit too hard.

“Leslie, I haven’t been with anyone else. Not for a long time. Since I was with you, I just… well. I don’t want anyone else.”

“You’re lying,” she says, turning around to face me. Her face is twisted with anger, but I can see terrible hurt in her eyes. “I don’t even know why you’re lying, or how stupid you are to do it right to my face, but I know that is complete and utter bullshit.”

“Leslie.” I take a few steps towards her, holding out a hand. She scurries backwards a little, so I stop.

“I swear to you. When I was with you, I wasn’t with anyone else, and since then, I haven’t touched another woman.”

“So why the rumors?” she snaps. “Why is there this story about a girl back in Bailey’s pack?”

“A friend,” I say desperately. “She’s just a friend.”

“Oh my fucking God, Kyle!” she yells. “That’s what they all say!”

“I didn’t do anything, with anyone!” I can hear my voice rising, too, and I don’t care. “What do I have to do to get you to believe me?”

“How about the truth?” she says, putting her hands on her hips and sticking out her chin.

“I’m telling the truth!” My voice is high with frustration, and I wish I could stop craving her, just for five seconds. She’s so beautiful when she’s worked up, with flushed cheeks and shimmering eyes. Watching her move around in that hot dress is doing things to me. I can’t focus on what I’m saying.

She shakes her head, making her honey-colored curls shiver across her shoulders. “There is no way you’ve been celibate for, like, a year,” she says. “No fucking way. If you’re going to lie, at least make it believable.”

“I’m not lying!” My voice comes out in a rush. “If you would just listen—”

“I’m done,” she says, turning around and waving a hand. She grabs the bottle of champagne and a glass as she heads for the bathroom. “I’m going to take a nice long soak in the huge tub. You amuse yourself however you want.”

“Fine!” I yell as she slams the door. I’ve never been so frustrated in my entire life, and it’s not just the fight.

It’s the fact that this luscious, amazing woman is now carefully unwrapping that beautiful blue gown from her stunning, mouth-watering body and I’m stuck on the wrong side of the damn door.