Chapter 5 - Killian

With my eyes still closed, I woke up to the smell of Leah’s scent enveloping me. My eyes fluttered open, and I saw her brown hair spill across the pillow that separated us. The sunlight was peeking through the curtains of my bedroom—our bedroom—making it easy to see her sleeping form lying just out of reach.

Her breathing was calm, and I knew she hadn’t yet awakened. Her chest rose and fell in an even tempo. My attention was drawn to her breasts, and I noticed the outline of her nipples through the sheer fabric of her pajama top.

Immediately, I felt myself become aroused. I raised myself up on my elbow slightly and shifted my torso away from the pillows that separated us. I struggled against the overwhelming urge to reach out and touch her.

Don’t do it, I commanded myself. My left hand was hovering over the pillow as I battled my desire to toss it off the bed and pull her into me.

I had never taken an unwilling partner. Today would not be the day I ended that promise to myself. My hand jerked back, and I tucked it under my own pillow firmly.

The movement startled her awake. Leah’s brown eyes fluttered open and stared straight into mine.

“Good morning,” I said huskily.

She cast her eyes around the room, taking in her surroundings. Noticing that her chest was uncovered from the blankets, she grabbed the edge of the sheet and yanked it up past her shoulders.

“Were you staring at me?” she asked.

“I just woke up,” I fibbed. “I wasn’t sure whether to wake you or not.” That part was true. Part of me wondered if I should have reached out for her in her sleep. Perhaps closing the distance when her guard was down would break the ice between us and give us a chance to talk about our past.

“Well, I’m awake now,” she said. She rolled off the edge of the bed, pulling the sheet with her and wrapping it around her small frame.

“Aren’t you getting up?” she asked.

“Um, in a minute,” I said.

My erection was still at full mast. The last thing I needed after her accusing me of staring was for her to see evidence of what that voyeurism had elicited. I cleared my throat uncomfortably as she continued staring at me.

“Fine,” she said, pulling the sheet tighter around her. “I’m going to go shower. The door has a lock, right?” She fumbled around in one of her suitcases, pulling toiletries and clothes from inside before shutting the lid.

“It does, but you won’t need it. I promise not to come in while you’re getting ready,” I said.

Leah eyed me suspiciously but seemed to take my word for it. She left the bedroom, and I heard the bathroom door shut behind her, the lock clicking into place. It seemed like I had a lot of work to do if I was going to get my mate to trust me.

While she showered, I took deep breaths, focusing on anything other than thoughts of her naked form in the other room. When I had mastered myself, I got out of bed, changed into my jeans, and went to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and realized I had neglected to get any groceries prior to bringing Leah home. Cursing myself for my forgetfulness, I sat down to put on my shoes.

“Are you leaving?” Leah asked.

I hadn’t heard her leave the bathroom, and her sudden appearance startled me.

“I was heading to the store to get some food,” I explained.

For a long, awkward moment, we both stared at each other. I wasn’t sure whether to ask her to come with me or ask what she wanted me to get for her. It seemed she was having the same thoughts.

“I don’t know what you expect from me,” she admitted. “Should I come with you or stay here?”

“Whichever you prefer is what I want you to do,” I said, breathing a sigh of relief that she had brought up our mutual indecision. “Is there anything you’d like me to get, or do you want to come with me?”

“It will probably be easiest if we just go together. That way, you can tell me what you like to eat, and I can make sure to grab the ingredients for it,” Leah said.

She got her shoes on, and we left the house.

“Do you enjoy cooking?” I asked as we drove the short distance to the Pinedale grocery store.

“Sometimes. It’s easy to lose yourself in the process. I used to do all the shopping and cooking at home,” Leah said. “My parents didn’t want to waste their time doing menial tasks.”

The way she said it made me think that food preparation wasn’t the only chore she had been responsible for. My heart hurt for her, realizing that she had been responsible for so much for a family that didn’t seem to appreciate her.

“My house won’t be like that,” I promised. “We’ll work out a system so we’re each in charge of an equal number of tasks.”

Leah began chewing her bottom lip, and I realized she was feeling anxious at the thought of a future with me.

We arrived at the small store, and I opened her door for her. “I have to be honest: I’m not used to grocery shopping,” I admitted as we walked inside. “When I was in the Dark Moon Pack, Alpha Jasper would cook for members of the pack at least once a day. I bought a few things to keep at my house, but nothing for real meals.”

“Then you brought the right girl,” Leah said.

We walked through the aisles together, talking about recipes and meal preferences. It felt like she was starting to open up when we ran into Luke and Brittany, a couple who had recently joined my new pack.

“Alpha Killian,” greeted Luke. “How are you?”

“Well, thank you,” I replied. “Just getting a little shopping done. How are you two?”

“We’re enjoying getting groceries without bringing the pups with us,” Brittany said with a laugh. “Those three are a handful.”

“I bet,” I said with a chuckle.

“How are you, Luna Leah?” Brittany asked kindly, shifting her attention toward my mate.

Leah’s eyes were wide as she looked at the couple in fear. “Fine, thank you,” she said quietly.

“I’m sure you’re used to many more options than we have here,” Brittany continued, trying to coax Leah out of her shyness. “But hopefully, you’re finding everything you need?”

Leah nodded but didn’t respond. I’d sensed that she had become more cautious and hesitant in the time since we first met, but I felt myself getting annoyed by her lack of effort with the pack. Where did the vibrant, intelligent, fiery woman I had known disappear to?

“Well, we’ll let you two get back to your shopping,” Luke said, breaking the awkward silence.

“Thanks,” I replied. “We’ll see you two later.”

The couple continued down another aisle while Leah and I headed toward the checkout area. She nearly jumped when the cashier greeted us, and it made me wonder what had happened to her. To have such a reaction to general conversations could only mean that her pack had treated her quite badly.

I wanted to ask her about it, but not out in public. We finished our shopping trip and put everything away when we arrived home. By the time we were done, it was lunchtime, and I made us sandwiches to eat. Once we had finished, I finally got up the courage to open a conversation about how she had acted at the store.

“Is everything okay?” I asked. “When we were at the grocery store, you acted like you were afraid of the other pack members.”

“I don’t know how to act around them,” she admitted. “Having conversations with others isn’t something I have a lot of practice in.”

“You talk to me just fine. Or did you forget how you yelled at me yesterday?” I asked, trying to bring a little humor into the situation.

“That’s different,” she said.

“Why?”

“Because you’re… you,” she said, waving her hand in the air. “I already know you, kind of. I don’t know anyone else here.”

“Well, I have a plan for that, actually,” I said excitedly. “Last night, you got to meet a few members of each of the packs, but tonight, they’re hosting an official welcoming party. All three packs will be getting together so you can meet everyone.”

I had expected her to look forward to being welcomed into the community, but her face showed that it had the opposite effect.

“Don’t worry, it will be fun,” I continued, trying to convince her.

“Please tell me you’re joking,” Leah groaned.

I winced. “No, it’s already set up. Everyone is really looking forward to meeting you.”

“Can I get out of it?” she begged.

I shook my head regretfully. I felt guilty that I hadn’t waited to plan this until we had a chance to discuss it, but there was no choice now. She was my luna, and she needed to be there whether she liked it or not.

Leah threw her hands up in exasperation and walked to the bedroom. I followed behind her, hoping to make things right, but she had locked the door.

“Leah,” I said, knocking on the wooden surface. “Can you let me in?”

“No.”

“Just talk to me.”

“I’m busy.”

There was nothing I could do short of breaking the door down. Considering that wouldn’t be the best course of action to make her feel safe, I decided to wait for her to reemerge.

Hours later, I finally heard the bedroom doorknob turn. She emerged from the hallway, and as she came into view, my heart skipped a beat. Her brown hair had been curled into waves that cascaded down her shoulders, which were bare. She had traded her t-shirt and jeans for a pink strapless midi-dress that hugged her curves.

It took everything in me not to lunge across the room and drag her back to our bed.

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” Leah said.