Chapter 4 - Leah

I knew I would be leaving with Killian eventually, but I hadn’t been prepared for such an abrupt departure. Still, the relief at finally escaping from my parents was palpable. I felt my body relaxing as we left the courtyard, but when my new mate opened the door to his car, I hesitated.

“Something wrong?” he asked, waiting for me to climb inside.

I eyed him suspiciously, unsure of how to proceed. My eyes darted down the street, and I wondered if I could make a run for it. But my parents’ threats echoed in my head: if I left, I would be without a home forever. Just the thought of excommunication from the packs made my chest tighten in fear.

“Everything about this is wrong,” I said.

Killian sighed in exasperation. “Leah, I understand why you weren’t pleased to see me today. But what’s done is done. You need to get into this car,” he said. “There is plenty of time for us to hash everything out, but I don’t think standing in the middle of the street is the best place for us to have a conversation.”

He had a point. Reluctantly, I got into the passenger seat and allowed him to shut the door behind me. I took a deep breath, trying to dissuade myself of the feeling that I had just exchanged one prison for another.

When I first met Killian, he’d belonged to the ruthless Moonstone Pack. It had been a point of contention between us that our packs were essentially at war with one another, to say nothing of the acts of violence that his alpha committed against wolves throughout the region. I didn’t know what became of Killian after Alpha Aiden Moonstone changed his ways with the help of Luna Madi, but it wouldn’t have surprised me if he’d followed his best friend, Jasper, in the creation of an even more ruthless pack. I felt sure that I was walking into a home that was just as vicious as the one I had just been freed from.

Killian was silent on the drive away from Sparkle Hollow as he took me toward my new home, and I decided to allow the quiet to continue. I had plenty to be upset with him about, but I also knew he was right. What was done could not be undone. We were mates, for better or worse, and starting an argument in the car wouldn’t change anything. It felt better to suffer in silence than to listen to his justifications and explanations for the past.

Eventually, I felt myself dozing off, my forehead pressing against the car window while Killian drove. After a few hours, I felt the car slow down and opened my eyes to see we were entering a small, quaint town.

“Where are we?” I asked.

“Pinedale,” Killian said.

He didn’t elaborate, but I watched as he confidently turned onto a side street without the use of a GPS. This must be where his pack resided.

The car wound its way through the streets, eventually stopping outside a large building that read “Community Center” on the outside. Killian killed the engine and hopped out of the car, walking around to open my door for me.

“Before we go inside, I want to let you know who you’re about to meet,” he said.

My heart dropped in my chest as I pictured the horrible monsters that were surely waiting inside for me.

“Pinedale isn’t like Sparkle Hollow,” he explained. “Besides the humans that live here, it also is the home to three separate wolf packs.”

“Three?” I asked, my voice rising in pitch despite my attempts to hide my unease.

“The original pack belonged to Alpha Nile Pinedale,” he explained. “They opened their town up to Alpha Jasper and the Dark Moon wolves. That’s a pretty long story, though.”

“And your pack?”

“My pack is a small offshoot of the Dark Moon wolves.”

“Wait,” I said. “Are you saying that all three packs are here? To meet me?”

“Not everyone… most likely,” he answered hesitantly.

He nodded toward the entrance, and I followed as he led me toward the large front door. My feet moved robotically as I did my best to control my breathing. The last thing I needed was to break down in front of my new pack—all the packs—and show them that I was a weak luna. My success here was dependent on how well I could act unfazed.

Killian opened the door, and I walked inside with my head held high. I expected to see a grungy atmosphere with smoke-filled air as tough wolves in dark leather milled about the room. What I saw instead was quite the reverse.

The room was immaculately clean and smelled like fresh flowers and clean linen. Long party tables filled half of the open space closest to the door, and just beyond were informal seating arrangements near a slightly raised dais. The tables were covered in green linen tablecloths and had centerpieces of white pillar candles and vases of fresh flowers. Milling around the room were a few dozen men, women, and children.

“Killian!” a voice shouted happily from our left.

A man in black jeans and a t-shirt walked confidently toward us, grasped Killian’s hand, and brought him in for a hug.

“Hey, Jasper,” Killian said. “I want to introduce you to my bride. Leah, this is Alpha Jasper.”

I wiped my hand surreptitiously on my thigh to remove any trace of sweat before reaching out to shake his hand. “Nice to meet you,” I said as confidently as I could muster.

“Welcome to Pinedale,” Jasper said. “We’re all glad you’re here. I hope my brother hasn’t given you any trouble.” He clasped Killian on the shoulder. “If he does, you just let me know, and I’ll sort it out for you.”

“No, not at all,” I said quietly.

Brother? I thought. I didn’t realize he and Jasper were so close.

The rest of the evening passed in a blur as I met more people in one day than I had spoken to in the past year. Everyone seemed kind and warm, especially the other lunas of the town. April and Violet hugged me tightly when we were introduced, and I felt my heart breaking as I realized I had spent my entire life missing out on this kind of camaraderie.

Killian couldn’t seem to stay in one place the entire time we were at the community center. He was pulled back and forth, talking to everyone and looking perfectly at ease with his pack. The bond he shared with them was clearly strong.

But the longer I witnessed it, the more my heart ached with hurt and jealousy. It had been so easy for him to leave me so callously, and here he was, doing it again. He had abandoned me to a sea of strangers while he enjoyed the relationships he had built in my absence. Kind strangers, yes, but strangers nonetheless.

When I felt my smile faltering and exhaustion from the day beginning to set in, I made my way to where Killian sat talking with a group of wolves.

“Hey,” I began tentatively.

“Hi,” he said. “You doing OK?”

“Just getting a little tired,” I hinted.

“Killian, you should get her home so she can settle in,” Jasper said. “It’s been a long day for both of you.”

Killian bid his friends goodbye and showed me to the car before driving a short distance to a small house a few blocks away. He opened the door for me once again and walked me up the short pathway to the front door. The unlocked door swung open easily, and he flipped the light switch to give me a brief tour of my new home.

“Living room, kitchen, bathroom,” he said, pointing toward various doors in the hallway. “And the bedroom is down the hall. You can go check it out while I grab your stuff from the car.”

“Aren’t you worried I’m going to run away?” I asked.

Killian shrugged. “I’m not your jailer. I think you’re smart enough to know that your life will be harder if you leave than if you stay.”

My anger made me want to argue with him, but I was too tired right now. He left to grab my things from the car, and I walked down the hallway toward the bedroom. I turned on the light and saw a modest room with a queen bed, two nightstands, and a dresser. Moments later, Killian returned.

“Where’s your room?” I asked as he placed my suitcases on the floor near the dresser.

“You’re standing in it,” he answered.

My mouth dropped open as I realized what he was implying.

“No way,” I stated. “I will not be sharing a room with you, let alone a bed.”

“You don’t have much choice,” Killian said. “As you can see, there’s only one bed.”

“Then sleep on the couch.”

“I’m an alpha. I’m not sleeping on a couch.”

“You want me to sleep on the couch?” I asked, offended at the thought that my new mate—even one like Killian—would force his luna to sleep somewhere uncomfortable.

Killian seemed equally affronted by the suggestion. “Absolutely not,” he argued. “It’s a big bed. There’s plenty of room for the two of us.”

I looked at him suspiciously, wondering if he was counting on our close proximity to force me into marital relations. Killian seemed to guess at my train of thought, because he sighed deeply.

“I already told you, I won’t force anything from you,” he reminded me. “How about this? I’ll put pillows between us so there’s no chance of me touching you by accident. Will that be good enough for you?”

I eyed the bed again, realizing there wasn’t a better solution. “Fine,” I agreed. “But if you touch me, I’ll make you regret it.”

Killian gave me space to get ready for bed, only coming in once I had given him the green light. He shut the light off, and I felt the mattress shift as his weight pressed down on his side. The pillows between us made our own individual spaces much smaller, but luckily, I didn’t take up much room, anyway. I smirked, thinking of how much more uncomfortable he must be on his half of the bed.

In no time at all, I heard his breathing slow as he fell asleep. Despite my tiredness, sleep didn’t come as easily to me. The pillows dampened the feeling of closeness somewhat, but I was still heavily aware of Killian lying an arm’s reach away from me. His body heat filled the room, and in spite of my earlier protests, I felt myself wishing I could reach out and touch him. There was no way I could deny, even to myself, that I still felt physical attraction for the man I had once loved.

But love was something I could not allow myself to feel for him again. He had already broken my heart once; I didn’t think I could bear it a second time. I would need to guard my heart much more carefully now that we were mates. This marriage didn’t need to be anything other than a convenience for either one of us. We had already gotten what we wanted: a luna for him, and an escape from Sparkle Hollow for me.

As I thought of the freedom I could enjoy as luna of Killian’s pack, I smiled. I was going to make the rules for myself now. And my first rule was to never allow myself to get hurt again.