71. Jax

71

Jax

"Would you have left me there? If the roles were reversed? Would you have come for me?"

When she rolled her eyes, I knew I'd hit the mark. She stopped believing in herself a long time ago. Stopped believing that she was worth anything. It clouded every decision she made.

"It's not the same," she argued. "You have responsibilities. You are in charge of the largest pack on this mountain, and you love it! I told you to let me go."

"Have you so little faith in me that you don't think I can protect you and my pack?"

"I think every second that I'm with you, we are all in danger. You. Me. The pack. Even if we do leave this town, Emerson will just find another way to take me. He doesn't give up."

"Neither do I," I roared. I didn't want to lose my temper, but I was so done with her flimsy excuses. "I am stronger than him, Anna. He can try a thousand times. Or maybe, I kill him and rid us of the problem entirely."

"If you kill him, you could start a war."

"I've all but declared war on him already, Anna. I warned him of what would happen if he tried to touch you again, and we both know he will. Emerson is living with a ticking clock, and I'm at the end of it. Now eat your damn soup."

Eyes wide, she stared down at her soup and took another bite. There was a knock at the door. "What?" I snapped.

It opened, and Saul stepped in. "Only little old me. I thought I'd check on Anna while she was awake. If you could give us a moment."

"And if I say no?"

"Then I would remind you that a, you are currently not my alpha, and b, even if you were, my orders supersede yours when it comes to patients."

"It's all right, Saul," Anna said with a small smile. "He's feeling a little vulnerable, and you clearly just came in here because you hear him yelling at me. We're all right. There might be more yelling later, but it's good for us to clear the air."

Saul stared at her for a moment and then nodded. "All right. How is your stomach feeling?"

"Good. The soup was a good choice. I don't think I'll have any trouble with it."

"All right. I would like to look you over, but I can wait until after dinner. And after the air is cleared." He shot me a sharp look and left the motel room.

Properly admonished, I lowered my head. "I'm sorry, Anna. I shouldn't be yelling at you.

After everything you went through…"

"Stop. Please, stop. I know you're pissed at me. I'm pissed at you. We can yell for a little bit."

"You're pissed at me?"

"You closed the mating bond. I know why you had to do it, and I know why you had to take all those pictures with Kenzi, but it's going to be awhile before I can stop seeing them in my mind. Before I can stop hearing her taunts. I left thinking that that is exactly what would happen.

You would realize that she was the better choice. It hurt, but I did it anyway. And when I was gone, I realized that I'd made a huge mistake."

"You did?"

"I don't know that I would have made a different choice, or that I could have made a different choice, but I do know that I haven't given you a chance. I haven't given us a chance.

I've hated you. I've needed you. I've wanted you, but I haven't trusted you, and that's not entirely your fault."

My chest squeezed. "It's partly my fault. I haven't given you many reasons to trust me."

"That's because you didn't trust me."

"So what? We start over?"

"I don't know what we do, but I definitely don't think we can start over. Things are still too dangerous."

"The crone hasn't had any more visions since the twins died. They may have been the darkness she foresaw."

"Someone was draining Janelle of her magic. Slowly and over time, but every day that I saw her, she was weaker. Emerson is still dealing with powerful witches. I don't know that it's over."

"Then after dinner, I think it's time we talk to the witch. Until then, do you mind if I join you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I need to touch you, Anna. Please. Just touch." It had been a long few weeks. I told myself that when she woke up, I would give her space. My wolf had curled up as small as possible and was trying to desperately to ignore the feelings of need.

But it was my human half that was breaking down. If she said no, if she said she needed space, I would give it to her. But if there was even a chance…

Carefully holding her bowl so it wouldn't spill, she scooted over on the bed. I was up like a shot, bag of food in hand, and climbing into bed next to her. We settled against the wall, and I carefully put my arm around her. I could eat one-handed. "Okay?"

Sighing, she snuggled under my arm. A few seconds later, I felt her shoulder shake.

"Hey. I've got you." Tossing my bag aside, I grabbed the soup from her and placed it on the floor. When I returned, I gathered her up into my lap and held her while she cried. It completely undid me to see her like this. She never broke down. That wall of hers never even seemed to crack.

"I'm sorry," she sniffed. "I just…"

"You don't have to apologize, Anna. Just let it out. It's just us here." I propped my chin on the top of her head and let her cry. "When we get back, things are going to be different. You don't ever have to be afraid to cry in front of me."

When it was over, and she wiped her cheeks and looked up at me, I kissed her forehead.

"Was it something specific that made you cry, or were you just a little overwhelmed?"

"Overwhelmed. I haven't felt like this since the first time you left me at The Fanged Smile and Parker frowned at me and told me I looked like a rat."

"Christ. I knew he was a little rough around the edges, but I didn't think he was that rough."

"I miss him, rough edges and all," she admitted. "With everything that happened, I haven't really had a chance to mourn him."

"He would have said something snarky to make you feel better." I wish I knew what to say, as if a few words could make anything better.

"Actually, the more time we spent together, the less snarky he became. He started to patch the holes in me. Emerson made a couple of more, but I'm going to be okay. We're going to be okay."

Damn right we were. I'd conquer the whole fucking mountain to make sure that she was okay.

I kissed her head again, and to my surprise, she lifted her face to mine. Smoothing a hand over my cheek, she offered her lips, and I accepted. At the first touch, I wanted to devour her whole. To sink myself inside her until we were one, and she knew that nothing was going to break us apart.

Instead, I pulled away, and she frowned. "I'm not going to break," she whispered.

"No, but these walls are thin, and I'd like a little more privacy when I take you. I want to hear you scream so loud."

"Well, that's not helping," she laughed as she moved off my lap. "I guess I should finish dinner so I have the strength to handle it when we are alone."

Wordlessly, I picked up her soup and handed it to her. She'd taken two bites before there was a knock a few doors down. Muted through the walls, I heard a stranger's voice. Instantly, I was on my feet and pressed against the outside door so I could hear better.

Finn was talking to him. "Can I help you?"

"I'm Officer Jones, and this is my partner, Officer Whalen. We're looking for a missing woman, possibly endangered, matching the description of someone seen entering one of these rooms. Do you mind if we take a look around?"

Anna frowned. "What is it?" She whispered.

"Emerson got the police involved. He reported you as a missing person."