70. Anna

70

Anna

It was nightfall by the time I awakened from within my wolf. Tentatively, I surfaced and took stock. My wolf was curled up next to a warm body and was sleeping soundly. I'd declined any drugs from Saul, so the pain must have ebbed if she was so relaxed.

Or maybe it was the heat radiating next to me.

Jax had returned after Emerson knocked on the door and hadn't left my side. I'd listened to his soft voice as he caught me up on everything that had happened, but then I'd retreated deeply.

Once I was human, he'd have questions, and I wasn't sure how he'd feel when I answered them.

But unfortunately, I had to pee, and I couldn't just waltz out of the motel room as a wolf and squat. With a sigh, I started to shift.

"Anna? Baby?" Jax held perfectly still while I uncurled myself from the bed. "How do you feel?"

"Pee," I mumbled and tried to stand. "I have to pee."

"Okay. I got you." He tried to take my hand, and I pulled away. For a moment, we stared at each other. "Sorry. Let me know if you need my help."

There was no hardness in his voice, but I saw a flicker of something in his eyes. Worry? I made my way to the bathroom and peed. Then, I started a hot shower and stepped beneath it. The heat loosened up the tension in my body and I experimentally did some stretches to take stock of my body. Stiff and weak, but everything seemed to have mended the way it was supposed to.

The door opened, and I gasped.

"It's me!" Amelia said hurriedly. "Just me. Jax asked me to drop off some clothes and see if you needed anything."

Closing my eyes, I blew out my breath. I was surrounded by my pack. Friends. My rescuers. I did not need to be so jumpy anymore. "I'm good. Thank you."

"All right. Jax went to get some food, and I'll be right out the door if you need anything."

Jax left. To give me space? To walk off some frustration? To literally just get food and I was totally overthinking things?

Finishing my shower, I stepped out and dried off. After wrapping my hair in a towel, I dressed slowly and stepped out. Kenzi and Amelia were both in my room. No doubt Jax had said no men allowed.

"You look better," Kenzi observed. "You just need to put on about ten pounds, and maybe we can tussle again."

"That was hardly a tussle," Amelia snapped.

"Not that anyone cares, but she did make me bleed."

"And you practically broke her in half!"

"She did what I needed her to do," I interjected softly. "I knew the risks of shifting mid-attack. Believe me when I tell you it was the only way. If I'd remained a wolf, Emerson would have just carried me back to my room. He probably already had a healer standing by my bed."

Amelia stared at me for a moment before running forward and giving me a hug. "For the record, I fucking hate you. I think you're an idiot for leaving. I can't be friends with someone who has such poor judgment. I don't give a fuck what Emerson and his witch did. We would have found a way."

Since I didn't really know how to respond to that, or the hug, I just patted her awkwardly on the back. "All right."

"I thought you were dead."

"Not dead."

"Chained up and repeatedly raped over and over again."

Jesus. "None of that either."

"Good." Pulling back, she sighed. "I honestly have never seen the pack quite like this. It was so quiet some days, you could hear a pin drop. Once word spread that you saved Irene, and how you saved Irene, they realized what assholes they'd all been. Me too, for the record.

Everyone felt so damn guilty, our pack bonds were practically dragging Jax to the ground.

Having my pack bond severed has almost been a relief."

"Your pack bond is severed? No wonder I couldn't feel you near." It made sense.

"But you're still bonded to Jax," Kenzi pointed out. "Emerson couldn't steal the bond.

And you wouldn't give it up."

"Even when I was certain no one was coming for me, it was the only thing holding Emerson at bay. Once I gave him my bond, he'd stop caring what I wanted. He probably would have chained me to the wall."

"It's a good thing we got to you when we did," Kenzi said cheerfully. "He was getting ready to kill everyone who worked at that bar if you didn't give him your bond by the next full moon."

My stomach twisted. "Shit. Really?"

"Oh, yeah. That seems to be your schtick. Sacrificing yourself for others. Would you have done it?"

Would I? I'd deliberately kept myself at a distance because I didn't trust them. It didn't occur to me that he would use them against me. No wonder there was so much desperation in their smiles. I'd thought it was just because they'd been ordered to be nice. Did they know that they were cannon fodder?

Would I have sacrificed myself for them?

There was a knock at the adjoining door. "Food," Jax said roughly.

Amelia and Kenzi both gave me a look, and I nodded. They opened the door and slipped through. Jax walked through with a large bag. "Soup and bread. I wasn't sure what your stomach would be able to handle. If it sits okay, I'll send Finn out for something more substantial."

Finn. I hadn't had a chance to hug him. Talk to him. Thank him.

"I'd like you to have a guard while you eat. Who would you like?"

With those words, tension filled the room. I gave him a soft smile. "You can stay, if you'd like."

Relief swept over his features, and he stepped through and closed the door. Placing the bag on the small table next to the armchair, he pulled out my bowl and handed it to me before returning to the chair. "Emerson has stationed guards all throughout the town. There's a whole camp set up on the exit road out of town."

I remember what he said about us leaving by boat. "As unhinged as he seems, I don't think he'll do anything too stupid. Having said that, he funnels a lot of money into this town. I mean, a lot. I got a look at his books one night. He owns real estate and companies here."

"One night?" Jax asked sharply and then closed his eyes. "Sorry. That's not what I need to focus on."

"He touched me, Jax, but he never raped me. I took a few blows when he lost his temper, but he didn't do any real damage. As fucked up as it is, he did seem to want me happy.

He took what Bridget told him and used that to base my life. I worked at a bar similar to The Fanged Smile. He told me it was mine when I was ready, which I'm pretty sure meant when I pledged my bond to him. My suite was lavish and beautiful if you ignored the bars on the windows and the guards at the door. The only time he forced me to be in his company was at dinner. He took a call a few times, and I snooped around. He had to have known, but he didn't care. Wherever he kept his secrets, it wasn't there."

"It's all right. You weren't there to uncover secrets. You shouldn't have been there at all."

The frustration was back and he nodded his head toward me. "Please eat your dinner."

I took a few bites in silence. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I started eating, but I forced myself to eat slowly. My body was still healing. I didn't need to vomit my calories back up.

I also couldn't take the silence for much longer. "We need to focus on escaping, and in order to do that, I think we need to clear the air. You're pissed at me."

"You were in a tight spot, Anna. We still hadn't built any trust, and you thought you were doing the right thing," he said tightly. "I'm upset that you didn't think I could protect you, but I understand."

"I do think you would have protected me, Jax. I think you would have given up your damn pack for me because of this stupid mating bond. I couldn't let that happen. If Emerson wasn't bluffing, that is exactly what would have happened. Hundreds of wolves violently evicted from the only homes they've ever known. Because of me."

"Because of Emerson," he snarled and closed his eyes. "I think of that moment a hundred times a day. I could see that something was wrong. I could tell he was communicating with you somehow. I saw the horror on your face, and then you just calmly said that you were leaving. I was so stunned I didn't stop you. I didn't object. I just let him take you away. Was it a spell?

Was I in shock? I still don't know."

Opening his eyes, he stared at me. "I heard what you said to Amelia. You didn't think I was coming. You really thought I would leave you there."

Even if I couldn't feel his pain, I could see it. "I would have left me there."