Chapter Thirty Seven

Lillian

Grandmother and I stare down at Corbin’s glowing hooves for a few seconds before I realize this could be a good sign.

“He can turn back into a man, right?”

A feeling of dread washes over me at the very thought of him becoming a man again. I remember all the times he has tormented me and how it could become like that again. It doesn’t matter if I’m the alpha now. He will try to make my life a living nightmare all over again and it might be worse now that he has become a goat because of me.

I can hear his ranting now that if I had just mated with him, then the ceremony would have not become a disaster.

"I’m not sure about this.”

"Child, what are you hesitant about? He is your ticket to finding the beast,” Grandmother says with a chuckle. “What other choice do you have?”

The goat backs away slowly, looking cautiously around as if he is trying to find a way to escape. I quickly reach for his rope and grab it, pulling him back to me as he tries to resist. "Stop it, Corbin. If we need your help, you will do it. It's the least you can do for all you put me through."

My own words shock me. Where did those come from? I am suddenly direct and firm, though I've never spoken that harshly before in my life. Grandmother cuts her eyes at me with a faint smile pulling at her lips.

"That's my girl."

I bite at my lower lip as I look at Corbin again. He looks hesitant to do anything, even in goat form.

"Change back," I command, but I don't lace it with my alpha abilities.

His hooves quit glowing and he takes a step back, pulling the rope as far as he can go away from me.

"Corbin," I say in a sterner voice. "Change back."

He shakes his head no, and I feel confused.

Grandmother chuckles under her breath. "Maybe he prefers being a goat without responsibility, where he can terrorize anyone and everyone to his own delight."

"Oh, is that so?" Our eyes lock and I feel the alpha command roll off me in one massive wave. "Change yourself back, now."

His hooves glow softly, much to his dismay. He fights the rope with all his might, but I hang on to the other end, keeping him from escaping.

"Do it, Corbin. You can't resist. Change now!" I shout from the top of my lungs and push my will onto him.

Suddenly, the glow spreads to his whole body, and in a blink of an eye, the man is in place of the goat. He's breathing heavily, his eyes wide with shock as he looks down at his naked form. Once our gazes meet, I can see the fear there.

"How did you do that?" He whispers. "You shouldn't be able to do that."

Everything is quiet for a moment, the only sound in the room being his ragged breathing. His eyes dart around wildly between me and my grandmother. He sits on his heels, still on his knees, as he studies everything in the room after thoroughly checking us out.

"No, this can't be," he mutters. "You shouldn't be able to command me. I'm the alpha's son and this is impossible. I have to be dreaming. This was all just a terrible dream. You couldn't do that, and this isn't real. My great grandmother didn't rise from the dead, my mother is still alive, and I wasn't just a goat. Nope, a horrible nightmare. That’s all this is.”

He squeezes his eyes tight and then opens them again before smacking himself. "I didn't wake up. Why didn't I wake up? No, I refuse to believe this. It can't be true."

I move slowly, squatting before him. Once we're face to face, I smile. "I'm the alpha now, Corbin, and you’re going to do everything I say. Do you understand?”

Corbin stares up at me with a look of disdain. "Whatever it is you want me to do, I won't do it, especially after you hit me in the head with a book. You’re just using me and I don’t like that.”

"I haven't even asked you to do anything yet and you are already denying me? If I had denied you as you have me, what would your family have done to me? I think I should do the same to you. You also forget it is you who leaned in and tried to eat the book.”

He cuts his eyes toward my grandmother and growls low in his throat. I reach out and smack him on the top of his head.

"Growl at her again and I will make a spectacle of you outside. Then everyone is going to know you were the goat.”

As our eyes meet again, he smirks. "You wouldn't dare. The pack is new to you and one little fiasco is all it will take for them to rebel. You need me and you know it. They won’t take too kindly to you treating me poorly."

I counter, "I don't need you. That's where you are wrong."

Suddenly, a sensation in my stomach hits and doubles me over. I can no longer hold my position and fall forward onto my knees. Leaning forward on my hands does nothing for me.

I hear Corbin laugh and ask my grandmother, "You know what's happening to her, don't you? Does she know? What was that you were saying? You don’t need me. I think you need me more than you realize.”

“Shut up, Corbin,” I snap.

A surge of power rolls off me, and I feel sick. My face flushes and when I glance up, the room is swirling in circles.

Grandmother drops a towel on Corbin for him to use to cover himself, and he stands, wrapping it around his waist. I’m eternally grateful for her giving him something to cover up with because if I have to keep looking at it, it’s going to make me sick.

"She needs me, but she's too stubborn to realize it."

Grandmother coughs as she nearly chokes on air. "She has a mate, you dipstick, and it isn't you. Get that out of your head right now."

I try to stand, but stumble back to the wooden floor. "He really needs to just shut up.”

"You're an alpha without a mate, and everything in you is going to drive you toward taking a mate. Get ready. It's not pleasant when you deny your wolf and eventually you may even lose control. Mating heat sucks.”

Sweat beads across my forehead and drips onto the floorboard. I stare at it for a moment, considering my words wisely. As I turn my head to the side, I can see a look of shame crossing my poor grandmother’s features. “It’s okay, Grandmother. I made it through one wave, so I will do so again.”

She closes her eyes and sighs. "I wish you had longer between dealing with it.”

“I hate this.”

“Oh, you’re about to hate it more, Lillian. Without your dear mate, your wolf is going to cry out for an equal match and each wave of mating heat will get worse.”

When he stops, Grandmother finishes what he was about to say. “What this idiot means to tell you is that he might sadly be the only option if you don’t find your fated mate.”

“Sadly?” He spats. "I'm a catch when it comes to alpha males."

I choke back a laugh. "You've got to be joking. He can't match me. It's like comparing a bonfire to a match."

Grandmother scoffs. “It’s not like she can see the other alpha males in other territories just yet. We don’t know what they are like, but they’re probably better. Anyone is better than you.”

I look up to see his face and am not surprised to find him red with anger. He doesn’t like what either of us has said, but he seems to direct everything at me. "How dare you? Do you not remember your place? Oh, that's right. You are right where I told you to be. On your knees before me."

"I see some things never change." The feeling passes and I finally stand. Once I'm sure of my footing, I stand proud and glare at him. "You will never speak to me that way again or I will end you. That applies to Grandmother as well. You are no longer alpha. I am. So deal with it."

"End me?" He chides. "If you don't find beasty in time, I may be the only thing that saves your furry butt. Have you heard the stories of alphas who don't take a mate?"

He waits for a second while I just glare at him. Of course, I haven't heard a thing about it. No one tells me anything, and I had a suppressed wolf, so I don't know anything. "No, but I'm sure you will fill me in, but first I need food."

Corbin takes a seat at the table, still clad in a towel, and I take the chair furthest away from him. The last thing I want to do is sit by him right now and Grandmother seems to feel the same way. She chooses the seat next to me and is oddly quiet.

"Well, I guess you want to hear everything I know and what has been withheld from you," he begins.

“She already knows some things, but do go on, Corbin,” Grandmother says with a simple shake of her hand.

"Fine," he continues. "The first thing you should know is when an unmated alpha takes over a pack, their very being drives them to find a mate. It's kind of a balancing of power thing. Packs always have a ruling pair, and it is ensuring there is a pair. Since the alpha part of you has been suppressed all these years, it seems yours is on an accelerated path to make up for lost time."

I lean back in my chair, my hand flying up in frustration and smacking the table hard. “We figured that much out already, so tell me something I don’t know.”

Corbin smirks and starts to speak, but I interrupt him.

"It's no thanks to your family, either. All your father did was abuse me and so did you. Lillian, do this or Lillian do that or that gosh awful thing of telling me where my place is. I'm sick of all of it and never asked for this. Now, once and for all, is there anything else I should know that you can tell me?"

Oddly, Grandmother and Corbin cut their eyes at each other as if asking a silent question. It just makes me angrier and I stand, slamming both hands against the old wooden table. "I get it. There are things you can't tell me because of that witch, but anything pack related should be on the table and not hidden."

Grandmother leans in her chair, lacing her fingers together across her stomach. "I truly think that covers everything besides finding the beast. That is all up to you and twinkle hooves over there."

"Twinkle hooves?" Corbin asks.

"Shut it," I growl out between clenched teeth. "Don't even think about arguing or challenging her. You will go through me and I will crush you."

He leans back in his chair, his expression one I can't read until he smirks. "I might like this more powerful you. It's more of a challenge than the poor, pitiful girl you were and it's doing something to me."

My mouth drops open, uncertain of how to respond to that. He enjoyed the broken me and the version of me when he found out I was an alpha, but apparently, me with my full alpha potential unlocked is very attractive to him.

I can’t win without losing.

Suddenly, he goes quiet and I meet his gaze to see if he'll say another word. His eyes widen and the smirk drops from his lips.

"Now you go quiet? What? Nothing else to say?"

He blinks rapidly and sputters. "Your eyes. I can’t believe it, but they are as red as blood. What kind of alpha are you?"

"There's only one kind," I state, but then I turn to look at my grandmother and see her looking away. “We are part of the original alpha line. It’s your bunch that is a freak.”

Grandmother scoots away from the table, searching for her cane before carefully rising. The chair skids, causing a horrible screeching sound, which makes me jump. “Food. You need something to eat. I’m going to cook.”

Corbin leans forward, his elbows resting on the table as he props up his chin with his fists. “No, I’m just a special kind of alpha. That is what dad always told me.”

“Fine, your father is from one of the southern packs. That much I do know and one day, I’m going to figure it out. Anyway, what we need now is to free the beast. What do you know about his curse and how to break it?”

Silence. And it’s an awkward few seconds of it.

Corbin clears his throat. I guess he senses the tension in the room and thinks he can make it better. "The reason she or I can't tell you is because her bonded person is still alive. Until that person is gone, the spell she cast won't go away. At least, not entirely.”

“Well, that is new information,” I say as I lean forward onto the tabletop. “Do you know who Natalia was bonded to and where this person is? If I can find that and become his mate, I think it will free him.”

“That's as much as I can tell you." He cuts his eyes toward Grandmother and gives a curt nod."I'm going to go shower, if you don't mind. Living in that barn was awful."

"You'll stay here. Shower in the bathroom through there. I will go to your house and get your clothes. If you try anything funny, I will hunt you down and gut you. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand, Alpha." He growls out the last part and looks exasperated, like it drains him to even say it.

Once he walks through the bedroom door, Grandmother turns to look at me, a wooden spoon in her hand. "Don't worry. I will watch him like a hawk and have something ready to eat. This spoon is good for more than cooking.”

She turns around, but I see a tear roll down her cheek as soon as she does. I don't bring attention to it as I scoot my chair back. She’s probably drowning in thought and having to think of the past isn’t easy for her because it’s a reminder of her mate.

As soon as I'm standing outside, I close the door softly behind me and take a deep breath. I look around toward the woods, expecting to hear the crunching of the leaves and branches, but it's nothing except eerie silence and it's deafening.

"Oh, how I miss hearing you, beasty."

I push off from the door and walk down the narrow path to the village, feeling completely lost because of the quietness. The quicker I can get his things and get back, the better.

I spot the alpha house in the distance and head in that direction. Several greet me, but they never look at me fully. It takes me a moment to realize they do that, so it's not a direct challenge to me.

It’s going to take me some time to get used to it.

Once I reach the alpha house, my hand reaches out for the doorknob, and I have to shake myself back to reality. When did I get to the house? It is like I walked here in a daze.

I pull the knob and step inside, feeling a little awkward as I do. Taking the stairs, I take the familiar path, but I freeze once I'm standing at his bedroom door.

Not too long ago, I was in here and he had planned to take me right there against the wall. It sends a shiver down my spine as I recall him stalking me across the room, leaving me with no way of escaping his pursuit.

Except the window, which I flung myself out of and then ran toward the woods.

Suddenly, I'm trembling in fear, unable to open the door. He isn't even here, but the memory remains. Anxiety and panic creep up, making my throat close.

I take a moment to breathe and finally make myself do what must be done.

I sling the door open and walk inside with a new determination to get what he needs and get out, but then my eyes land on the window that I jumped out of and it brings me right back to the memory.

This is going to be harder than I thought.

I can't stop my hand from trembling as I reach for the dresser and take hold of the knob. Nothing happened in this room, and I should be fine. It is and was nothing.

He made an attempt, and I escaped. It is a done deal. Why am I freaking out about this room?

The smells in the room overwhelm my senses, and the shaking continues as it overtakes my whole body. I finally yank open the drawer and grab his undergarments, but it's all I can do to even touch them.

Pull yourself together. Nothing has happened between the two of you and you got out. You're just grabbing his clothes from his room, and everything is okay. He isn't even here.

My wolf tries to sound reassuring, but it’s not that. All these years, he has been a thorn in my backside, following in his father’s footsteps. When he finally saw I had potential, only then did he plan to make me his. Up until that point, he saw me as a useless maid and I was there for his entertainment.

Isn't that how it goes, though? You're nothing until they see what you could be? I take a long, calming breath, but it does nothing for me.

I drop his boxer shorts on the top of the dresser and dig through another drawer for socks, followed by jogging pants and a shirt.

In and out. In and out. I can do this.

I fold them into a stack and head for the door, but my knees give out and I land on the floor in a mess of sobs.

Get out of this room, even if you have to crawl. Move.

Slowly, I crawl across the floor to his bedroom room with his clothes in my right hand, being dragged along with me. It’s all I can do just to get out of here.

Once I'm in the hallway, I can breathe again, and I let out a loud cry.

I turn around, reach for the door, and slam it shut.

"I can't do this."

Yes, you can and you will. You know what he intended for you that day, but you escaped. That's the important part, and it's not like you'll have to visit here often. We can always build a new alpha house. Hold on a little longer.

All I want to do is burn this place to the ground and watch it smolder as it comes crashing to the ground. There are so many terrible memories here that just avoiding it isn't possible. It needs to burn and be gone.

I slowly stand and make my way down the stairs. As soon as I'm outside, I take off running toward the narrow path that will take me to my grandmothers. I don't want to waste anymore time.

I come to a halt when I get close to the door and walk the rest of the way. My heart is pounding in my chest as I wipe my face with the back of my hand to ensure my face is dry, though I know it will be red from crying.

Grandmother opens the door and lets out a breath before I can even reach for it. "Oh, thank goodness you are back. He strutted in the kitchen naked after his shower and about gave this old lady heart of mine a heart attack. Give him those clothes and let him get dressed."

He calls out behind her, "I know you liked it."

She freezes, clearly annoyed. "I told you to get that towel back on, you cocky fur ball. It’s not like you’re that pretty to look at. Lillian, I prefer him as a goat. Maybe he should turn back."

"I heard that," he spews.

"I can't leave you all alone for ten minutes just to go get clothes."

As I listen to them argue, I can't help but wonder if this is hopeless. He’s never going to change, and he has even stated he will not help me. Why am I even bothering with him?

He might as well be a goat. At least then I can get some peace.

It’s not like he can resist my alpha command, anyway, so he could just live his life as a goat and not bother anyone.

All he ever thinks about is himself, even after being turned into a goat and living in the barn for several days. He is still selfish.

"I know what you should be. A pig because the goat was too good for you. That would have suited you better," Grandmother declares, her eyes full of hatred.

"A pig?" Corbin asks as he points to himself, feigning confusion. "I'm your only ticket to finding beasty and you want to call me names? That is no way to get what you two desire from me."

I interrupt, "Grandmother, just leave it be. Sadly, he's right. Though I would love nothing more than to force him to turn back into a barn animal, I know he’s my only ticket to finding my mate. The last thing I want is to be left with no other option except him as a mate when this mating heat strikes again.”

"At least she knows her place and when to admit I'm right," Corbin pops off. “Wait, what?”

"Just because I agreed with you doesn't mean what you think it does and it will do you well to remember that," I say, lacing my words with the alpha command.

He eyes me for a moment, meeting my gaze, and fights the command with all his might as his eyes turn orange and glow. His eyes are unwavering as we continue to stare at each other, waiting for the other one to give in. What alpha abilities he has tries to mingle with mine to make me submit, but I stand there unmoving and continue to push my will above his.

After a few minutes, the room is filled with the stench of dominance, and I hear Grandmother over by the stove, sighing.

She’s already tired of our display.

"We're never going to get anywhere like this," she mumbles under her breath.

"He should submit to me as his alpha instead of fighting it," I state, curling my lip up and baring my teeth at him. “He already has a little, but then fights it.”

"You ever think I might have just shifted to human because I wanted to, not because you commanded me to? Do you really think your alpha abilities are that good?" He says, mockingly. "You have no training and are just learning about all of this."

A growl escapes me, causing his brows to raise. He looks at me appreciatively, breaking eye contact for just a moment, but it isn't because he caved to my demand. It’s on purpose.

As his eyes rake up my body, he finally meets my gaze again with a smirk. "You are just playing alpha, Lillian. You may have the pack, but one day they will rebel and call for a true leader.”

"And you think that's you?" I scoff.

He closes the gap between us, taking the clothes from my hands that I had forgotten I was holding. Corbin leans down, his face mere inches from mine. "That is why you need a strong mate to rule by your side and show you how to harness it. You'd make for a strong luna."

"A luna?" I shove him, causing him to stumble backward a few steps. "That is what you'd have me be? Just a luna when I have the same abilities as you?"

Grandmother looks between us, the spoon in her hand. She watches for just a second, waiting for a fight to break out before she bows out or uses the spoon to make us stop. "I'm going to step out for a few minutes to let you two quarrel. Apparently, this is something you need to get out of your system. Lillian, just remember we need him to get your mate."

She walks out, closing the door softly behind her.

I look at the door with a hard stare, wondering if I should just leave, but I know if I do, Corbin will just continue this nonsense.

"Well, at least she is giving us some privacy, because I plan to make you mine."

As our gazes meet again, I notice he's gotten closer while I was looking at the door. I take a step back, hoping he doesn't continue his pursuit.

"I will never be yours. Get that through your head. I already have a fated mate and that is who I’m going to be with."

My hopes are crushed as he throws the clothes onto the floor and takes a step toward me, his hand reaching for his towel. "I made you happy once, and I can do it again. Remember our time when you were at my house just mere weeks ago? How I'd bring you food and take care of you? It can be like that all the time."

"Corbin, you're insane." I match his pace and take a step away from him.

He takes another step, followed by another, until I've backed myself against the wall and he is directly in front of me. His other hand reaches out, gently stroking my cheek and trailing his way down to the base of my throat.

"We can rule together. With you by my side, we'd be unstoppable. Just think about it. I can give you everything he can't. That beast's curse will never be broken and you know it."

My breath hitches in my throat. "You don't know that. I just have to find the bonded person and become his mate."

He whispers in my ear, "Maybe I already do. The way to break it is lost, isn't it? You're not even really sure how to do it, just that it requires you and some person we may never find. What if you actually had to bond with him while he's a beast, and it doesn't work? Have you considered all the ways this could go wrong because you don't know what to do?"

Corbin moves in closer, pressing his body against mine. His words have hit me like no other. He's right, sadly. I don't know what to do to break his curse fully and it could go wrong. The beast might not ever change into his human form and all could be for nothing.

But that doesn’t mean I would regret mating with him, even like that.

Something else hits me after a moment. I don't even know his name for certain, just that he is probably Logan or Lucian. All this time, I've just called him beast or beasty.

I feel Corbin's hand trail up my arms as he moves his hands up and down in a soothing motion. "You haven't thought about it, have you?"

"No." It's all I can say as I feel dazed out and uncertain of everything. I thought I could break his curse and free him, but I don't even know where to start. Natalia made sure of that.

When he tried to tell me, she threw him into the woods with her black tendrils of magic and he's been gone since.

"See, this is why you should be with me. I'm already here and will give you everything you heart desires. There will be happiness and love. Your heart will never hurt again, nor will anyone mistreat you. I'll make sure of it. Grandmother will also be taken care of, which I know is something you want dearly."

Everything he says sounds wonderful. It is all I wanted all my life, and it is now standing in front of me. I feel him adjust and his lips press to my throat, right under my ear.

"Please say yes. Say you'll be mine. Just those four little words and it's all over with." He trails his lips lower to the base of my throat and back up.

All I have to do is say those words. My mouth opens, wanting to say it just so I can have peace once and for all, but then the beast's red, cold eyes flashes before me.

Can I betray him? If I do this, I will give up on him and our future together, even though I do not know what kind of future that would be.

Am I willing to give him up? Am I willing to give up my destiny?

My heart picks up speed in anticipation. Once again, the beast's face floats across my mind.

Corbin's teeth drag down my throat. "Please, say the words."

"I..."

He pauses at my hesitation. "Lily, it's not that hard. Just repeat after me. Say you're mine and those two little words seal the deal. Forget all four. Just those two will do."

Lily. I hear the beast's voice whisper my name in my ear.

I close my eyes, hoping to make this nightmare go away, but it's real and right here. His breath blows across my neck as he prepares to sink his teeth into me, permanently marking me as his as soon as I say the words. Of course, I have to mark him back, but my wolf might not resist this time.

My mind seems to wander off as I think about the possibilities. Will being mated to him be so bad? Can I learn to love him?

My wolf screams at the very thought. Are you losing your mind? This is Corbin we're talking about and here you are considering a future with him? The very one who treated you so horribly? I would ask if you are serious, but I know you are. This isn't good, Lillian. He is not the beast and he will never satisfy us. The beast is our true mate, and this guy is just an imposter.

Her words hit me deep and I know she's right, but do I have the will to say no? I don't know how to break the curse and what if it requires things I'm not willing to do? What if I have to die for it to work?

Can I really leave him in limbo just because I'm afraid?

Woman, you are making me lose my mind over here. It's Corbin, your abuser of all these years. Don't forget what he did just because he spouted off some pretty words.

Once again, she's right. His teeth scrape down my neck again, pausing at the base, waiting for me to say the little words he mentioned. Little does he know, they'll never come.

"No."

He pulls away, looking at me like I've just slapped him. "No? Why would you say that?"

"Because I can't do this. Not with the beast trapped for something he never did. He deserves to be free."

Corbin glances over at me with a look of disbelief. "You have a good heart. Fine, I'll help you save the beast, but on one condition."

Fear shoots through me as I wonder what he'll ask for. The way he's looking at me, I know it can't be good. Bargaining with him is like making a deal with the devil. Whatever he wants will only satisfy him and him alone.

"What is the condition?" I know I'll regret asking, but I have to know if it's something I can work with. In my heart, I already know what it is, but I'm hoping I'm wrong. He wouldn't be that low, would he?

"I'll help you find him, but once he's home, you must become mine." His hands freeze on my shoulders as he holds me against the wall. "That is my condition, and I will not change my mind. If you want him free, then you will mate me instead of him."

"That really isn't much of a deal now, is it?" I ask, tears lining my eyes. “I’m supposed to become his mate to free him, so what you are asking for is not going to work.”

"As I said, if you want him to be free from wherever she sent him, then you will agree to my terms. It's the only way he'll ever leave there and be back in the woods where he belongs," he says, his tone full of hatred.

“You want to bring him home, but not free him of the curse? That is what you mean when you say that you’ll free him.” My breath becomes ragged as the tears start to flow down my face. Of all the things he could have asked for, he asks for me.