Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

S loan and I had kissed countless times, and yet this one felt different. It wasn't the stolen kisses of our youth or the bittersweet ones. Nor was it quite like our recent kisses—passionate and full of longing and regret. This kiss was a fresh start.

Hearing her say those words—that she loved me—was a precious gift. I pulled Sloan even closer, loving the feel of her in my arms. She loved me. Trusted me. I vowed not to fuck this up.

I tugged her onto my lap, my cock slipping against the slick, wet material of her swimsuit. She felt so good. Too good. It would be so easy to pull the material aside and slide into her. She wanted it, and so did I.

But I was also determined to do things right this time. No more sneaking around. No more secrets from family and friends. Until everything was settled with my sister and Hudson, this was the way it had to be.

I was lucky Vaughn hadn't fired me on the spot when I'd told him I'd slept with the principal. I'd gotten the feeling he was tempted to, but I was thankful he'd only threatened it. He was trusting me, counting on me, and I'd promised him it wouldn't happen again. He wasn't just my boss; he was my friend and mentor. And he'd done so much for me that I felt like I owed him this.

But Sloan was the woman I loved, and she loved me. I still couldn't believe it. Even after everything, she loved me.

I was ready to say fuck it, fuck the rules. But Sloan stilled her movements. I rested my forehead against hers, her breath coasting over my lips, my restraint being tested like never before.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Sorry." She moved to leave. "I lost control. I shouldn't have—" She shook her head. "I'm going to shower and change for bed."

Wait. What?

Was this part of her plan to torture me? Because fuck, that swimsuit had made me nearly lose my goddamn mind. Even now, I was still obsessed with it. With her. She was so fucking… I bit my knuckles to stifle a groan.

Sloan stepped out of the hot tub and headed for the outdoor shower. "I'm going to go rinse off."

I followed her with my eyes, unable to look away. She turned on the water and stepped beneath the spray, and it was over. The water cascaded down her skin, the white material clinging to her body. It was the hottest thing I'd ever seen.

Without thinking, I bolted from the hot tub and went to her.

"Jackson, wh?—"

I removed the detachable showerhead from the hook and turned down the temperature. "Is this okay?" I sprayed water on her stomach to let her get used to the temperature.

She nodded, her expression full of tentative hope. "What are you…?"

I glanced around for something for her to rest her foot on. There was a stool nearby with towels on it. I grabbed it and tossed the towels aside. "Foot," I grunted. "Here."

She did as I asked, and then I shifted the spray to her clit. She let out a sound of pleasure, her legs shaking. "Yes," she hissed, and I kept adjusting my angle to maximize her pleasure. "Yes, Jackson."

I was definitely skirting the rules, but I wasn't breaking them. I wasn't touching her. At least, not directly.

With my free hand, I palmed my cock, stroking myself to the sight of her. To the sounds she made. Fuck, she was something.

And she loved me.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you are?" I asked, watching her thrust her hips. She wanted more, and I did too. The idea of sinking into Sloan as she said "I love you" nearly sent me over the edge. But I wouldn't come, not until she did first.

"Play with your tits," I said, knowing how much she liked nipple play. God, I couldn't wait to touch her again. To put my mouth on her.

Soon, I vowed.

She complied, running her hands over her breasts. Pinching her nipples. Arching her back and moaning my name as she convulsed.

I sped up my pace, gripping my cock tighter until I painted her stomach with ropes of come, feeling both satisfied and yet not. It wasn't the same, but it would have to be enough for now.

Sloan placed her hands on her thighs, bending forward to catch her breath. She lifted her head, and we shared a secret smile.

"Come on." I rinsed her down, then myself, then the tiles before switching off the water. "Let's go to bed."

I wrapped her in a towel, and she went inside. I checked the perimeter as I did every night and locked up before heading down the hall to the bedroom. I checked my phone for any missed calls. Vaughn had left a voice mail that the man behind Sloan's threats had been caught. But when I'd tried to call him back after dinner to find out more, he'd been unavailable.

Sloan was already in bed, a book in hand, when I arrived. I wanted to tell her the news but not until I had more information. I knew the topic upset her, understandably so. And I didn't want to send her into a tailspin when she was winding down for bed.

I put on some athletic shorts and brushed my teeth before joining her in bed. "What are you reading?"

"It's a steamy romance. Nate's next movie, in fact."

"Ah. Right." I'd seen some of that author's novels floating around Nate's house. But I didn't remember Sloan reading much romance in college. "What do you like about reading romance?"

"This might sound cheesy, but I like that there's always a happily ever after."

"That doesn't sound cheesy." I took her hand in mine. "Sometimes when life feels crazy or beyond our control, it's nice to return to something that feels safe, maybe even predictable in a way."

"Exactly," she agreed, shutting the book and placing it on her nightstand.

"So just how steamy are we talking?"

"There's definitely a plot," she hedged, her cheeks pinkening. "And the sex scenes further the plot."

"Are they hot?"

"Yeah." She gave me a heated look. "They're hot."

"One of the guys I worked with at Hudson is big into romance." Not that I'd be working with Connor or any of the Hudson team much longer. But I didn't tell Sloan that—I couldn't. At least, not yet.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah." I nodded, thinking of Connor or "Cujo." "His wife works for a big publishing house, and they fell in love over books."

"So he read romance to impress her?"

I chuckled. "Something like that. But then he fell in love with the stories too."

Sloan turned and faced me, tucking her hands beneath her cheek. "I'm surprised you never married."

I lifted a shoulder. "It was hard to fathom spending my life with someone when my heart has always belonged to you."

She smiled. "I love you, Jackson."

"Love you too," I said, still in a state of disbelief. When she'd said it earlier, I could've chalked it up to something in the heat of the moment. But now that things had cooled down, and she'd looked at me directly as she said those words, I knew she meant them with her whole heart.

She laughed.

"What?" I asked.

"You seem surprised."

I caressed her shoulder. "I'm grateful. I wasn't sure I'd ever hear that again from you."

She leaned in, cupping my cheek. Her gaze was sincere and full of love. "I love you." She said the words slowly, enunciating each syllable.

I kissed her. "I love you too."

"Can we…cuddle?" She wore a sheepish expression.

"Of course," I said. "You know you never have to ask."

"I know, but I pushed your limits earlier, and I didn't want to make things more difficult for you."

I chuckled, pulling her into me, holding her close. "I'll live."

We fell asleep like that with her in my arms.

When I woke the next morning, she rolled over to face me. Damn, she looked fucking radiant. Hair mussed, green eyes sparkling. Her lips were full and pouty, her cheeks flushed from sleep.

This woman loved me. Me.

I reached out gently, smoothing her hair away from her face. "Morning."

"Morning." She smiled. "Breakfast then drills?"

"Sounds good," I agreed.

She met me out on the training area a little while later. We ran through some drills, and I could see improvement in both her strength and the quickness of her responses. I knew she got frustrated that she couldn't take me down, but I was proud of her tenacity and determination.

With the repairs finished on the Athena , we were supposed to head out tomorrow on the next leg of our trip. The weather looked favorable, and with our visit with Greer coming up, I had something I'd been meaning to discuss. I'd put it off as long as I could, but I didn't want to wait much longer.

"I think we should tell Greer about us while we're all together in Puerto Rico."

"I don't know." Sloan kicked my legs out from beneath me, and I used a move that brought her to the padded mat. I rolled us so she was on top. I brushed her hair away from her face, and she leaned forward so our lips were nearly touching.

"Jackson," she moaned, my cock hard against her. Apart from our interlude in the outdoor shower last night, this was the closest we'd come to having sex. The daily temptation, especially when we sparred, was going to kill me. And the memory of her in that white swimsuit…

I rolled us again so that I was pinning her to the ground; her hips arched up as mine pressed down. We writhed against each other, and I couldn't seem to stop.

Sloan loved me, and I loved her. And in this moment, that was all that mattered. Fuck the consequences; she was my everything.

I told myself it was fine as long as we stayed fully clothed. Okay, semi-clothed, considering my shirtless state and the fact that Sloan was wearing a sports bra. Sloan raked her hands down my back, nipping at my chest.

I groaned. "Are you trying to distract me?"

"Should I stop?" she asked, but her hips kept moving in time with mine.

Instead of answering, I kissed her hard and deep, my tongue mimicking what I wanted to do with my cock.

"Yes," she moaned. "Right there. Don't stop." She panted. "Don't stop."

She rocked against me, and it felt as if my last tether of control was close to snapping. "Sloan."

Unable to resist, I rolled us again. My brain was no longer in control of my body. My movements were primal and rough, and I knew from her expression that she was loving it. That she was right there with me.

I used my hold on her hips to guide her over my cock, bringing me closer and closer to release. The friction was driving me wild, and Sloan looked just as out of control.

I linked our hands, and she squeezed mine. I could feel her heat and desire through the fabric, and I didn't think I could hold on much longer. My pleasure was coiled so tight, I was going to fucking explode.

"Oh god. Oh, Jackson." Her mouth opened as her pleasure crested, and she let out a string of unintelligible words.

She was glorious. The most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. And not a moment later, lightning shot down my spine. My muscles clenched, and then I felt that rush of satisfaction and relief that came with release.

I stared up at the sky, completely spent. And so fucking happy.

She fell against my chest, laughing. Panting. "Oh my god. I can't believe?—"

I chuckled, the ground warm beneath my skin. "That we're acting like horny teenagers."

"Yes," she sighed. "That's exactly what I feel like."

"I'm not complaining," I said.

"Maybe there's something to your no-sex rule after all."

I swept her hair away from her face. "Not sure I've been the best at following the rules, considering…" I gestured at my crotch and the mess I'd made of it.

"There was no penetration," she said, adopting a serious tone. "Oral or vaginal."

"I love it when you talk dirty to me," I teased.

She laughed, pushing off my chest to stand. "Come on," she said. "Let's get cleaned up so we can watch the eclipse."

I pulled her in for a hug, and she buried her face in my chest. "I can't believe we just did that."

I chuckled and kissed the top of her head before releasing her. Sloan showered in our bathroom while I used the other. We were skirting too close to the rules, and I needed to stop putting myself in situations where I'd be tempted. The idea was laughable. When Sloan was around, I was always tempted.

I joined her on the patio a little later. I put on my solar eclipse glasses and peered up at the sky. The moon had started its trek over the sun.

I sank down on the lounge chair next to hers. "So…Greer?" I asked, returning to our earlier conversation.

Sloan shook her head. "I don't know…"

"I know you're nervous," I said. "And so am I. But we're all adults, and I hope she can be happy for us."

"And if she's not?" Sloan asked, voicing my biggest fear aloud.

My gut twisted. "I'd rather not consider that outcome."

An outcome where my sister wasn't talking to me and Sloan had lost her best friend. An outcome where Greer felt like we'd betrayed her or she was all alone.

"Neither do I. But we have to at least consider the possibility. I mean, how's she going to feel that we kept this from her for years? Years , Jackson. We lied to her all that time."

I said nothing. I didn't know what to say.

Sloan's expression was forlorn, and something inside me cracked. "I can't lose her. She's always been there for me. I can't imagine my life without her in it."

"I know," I said. "But if we want a future together, that means we're going to have to tell her at some point."

She let out a heavy sigh.

"Tell me what's going through that pretty head of yours." I tucked her hair behind her ear. "Hm?"

"I just… I don't think now is the right time. Something is going on with Greer, and she needs our support."

"I don't disagree, but there will always be a reason not to tell her. We will always worry about her reaction." It felt as if I'd been waiting my whole life to be with Sloan. Not in secret, but in a truly meaningful way. "I don't want to hurt my sister, but I'm done hiding my feelings for you."

I thought Sloan would say no. I prepared myself for it, but then she said, "And what if she asks about our plans for after the trip?"

"What would you want to tell her?" I sensed we were using Greer as a guise for a conversation Sloan had been wanting to have. I was fucking thrilled—it meant she wanted a future with me.

But it was frustrating that I couldn't tell her about my resignation. Not yet anyway. I hoped Vaughn would figure out how he wanted to handle it soon, because I hated keeping secrets from Sloan.

We kept putting on our glasses to check the progress of the moon and then taking them off. It was pretty wild.

"I think we need to be prepared to tell her something. Are we going to do the long-distance thing? Should I plan to stay in Los Angeles for a while? I can't relocate permanently without the board's approval."

"I want to be wherever you are," I said, and I meant it. "I don't want to do long-distance."

"Agreed. My life is busy as it is, and long-distance takes its toll on a relationship. Does that mean you'd consider moving to London?"

"Yes." Now that I no longer worked for Hudson, I could look for jobs anywhere.

There were private security companies based in London, and working at Hudson Security for the past fourteen years came with a cache of sorts. That said, any future employer might ask why I was leaving Hudson, and I was going to have to figure out how to handle that.

Just then, it got darker. It was strange, as if someone had applied a filter over the sun that made everything appear like it was twilight even though it was the middle of the day. The temperature dropped, and when I looked up in the sky, the moon had almost completely covered the sun.

"Oh my god." Sloan's voice was full of wonder.

I reached out and grabbed her hand, staring up at the sky and this amazing astronomical sight. As the moon continued on its path, the sun was completely covered, leaving only a bright ring around it. It was…incredible, truly.

I glanced over at Sloan and smiled. She was completely in awe of the eclipse, and I was enthralled by her.

"Good call on staying for this." She gave my hand a squeeze.

We watched the rest in silence until, finally, the moment had passed and the sun was being revealed again.

"Okay," Sloan said. "We'll tell Greer when we're in Puerto Rico. But only after we see how she's doing."

Okay. Wow. Part of me couldn't believe she'd relented, even if she'd pushed to tell Greer about us in the past.

"Of course. It's not like we're going to spring it on her as soon as she lands." Though, the idea was tempting, if only to be done with it. Rip off the Band-Aid, so to speak.

"And I think we should tell her together."

"I agree," I said. "Then we can answer any questions she might have."

"Oh…" Sloan dragged a hand through her hair, and I sensed her nervousness from that one gesture. "I'm sure she'll have questions."

I didn't care how many questions Greer had; I'd answer every one of them as long as she kept talking to us.