NATASHA

This morning almost creates a sense of normalcy in my new life. I wake up rested after the kids chose to sleep in their new beds placed next to mine. We eat breakfast in the family dining room.

Soon, we head into town to shop with Petra, Siobhan, Carys, and the kids. I feel more like the old me, hanging out with my friends in a town I know.

However, I'm quickly reminded of the squeeze of living in my family's world. Security escorts us everywhere. The stores we visit are temporarily closed to other customers. The man leading our security team pays for the toys and clothes.

He also declines our request to have lunch out with the O'Malley sisters. That's when I'm informed of the news report regarding Andrew's burned-up meth house. His mom shared a picture of her dead son and grandchildren with the media. Fortunately, I'm not in any of the family photos.

"You would be wise to keep your newly adopted children out of the public eye for the time being," the man explains, and I sense he's repeating what one of my brothers told him.

The reality of what I set in motion comes crashing down on me. Andrew is in the boneyard. His mother is grieving over her loss. She wasn't a terrible person, just a bad mother and grandmother. I spent two years in that life with those people. Now, I've blown up their family.

"It's only been two days," Siobhan says before telling me goodbye at the mall parking lot. "I know Hunter is dying to see you. We'll have a girls' night out soon. But we'll need to wait until the drama dies down, and you get a little more slack on your leash."

Feeling squeezed by the past and future, I hold on to Siobhan for too long. Petra clears her throat a half dozen times, and Carys mentions twice how her pregnancy bladder needs to get home. The twins hang out of the window, asking their mom if she's broken.

Despite knowing everyone wants us to let go, Siobhan hugs me tighter, as if absorbing my pain and fear.

"You're a good friend," I tell her when she's forced to release me.

Her blue eyes stare hard into mine. I feel her wanting to share something. She chooses to silence herself, which isn't easy with her big mouth.

Back at the mansion, my babies and Laszlo play until lunch. They're wiped out by the time we eat. Hector keeps leaning against me, wanting a nap.

My parents and brothers aren't around during lunch. However, Maks is waiting for me after we finish. His blue eyes reveal nothing. I suspect he's slightly drunk despite the early hour. My middle brother is known to party hard. Petra often claims he'll either die young or live forever like Keith Richards.

Right now, he doesn't seem close to death, just edgy about the noises from the kids who cluck like chickens behind me.

"You'll entertain a guest this afternoon, so make an attempt to fix yourself up," Maks says, tilting his head to look me over. "Can't do much about your busted lip but maybe put on more makeup and fix your hair. Might want to wear a more flattering shirt and a pair of jeans showing off your ass."

"Who is coming here?"

Maks gives me a cruel smile, clearly amused by my fear. "The biker you fled."

"Bear?"

"Is that his name?"

Giving my brother a dismissive scowl, I mutter, "You know their names. You probably know the women they regularly fuck. Isn't your job to run security for the family?"

Maks narrows his eyes and leans closer like he might head-butt me. I don't flinch even when he gets close.

"Try to wear something revealing. You've got a decent body underneath all this," he says and waves at my baggy jeans and loose-fitting, pale pink T-shirt. "If you ensnare the biker, we won't need to pawn you off to an out-of-town husband."

My heart races, making me dizzy. "Is that why Bear is coming here?"

"Why else would he want to see you?" Maks asks, cocking a dark brow.

"He might want to yell at me for leaving."

"Can you blame him?"

Frowning, I push for more details since my brother seems chatty today. "Did he say why he was coming here?"

Maks rests his hand on the top of my head in that weird way he does to Laszlo when he's trying to will the child to stop speaking. Every time he attempts the same gesture with my babies, I maneuver them away.

"If you don't fuck this up, you can stay in Banta City with your girlfriends," Maks says when I just frown at him. "Isn't that what you want?"

"Didn't I fuck this up already when I left?"

"Things have changed," he says and removes his hand. "Not for him, but for you."

Maks juts his jaw toward my babies who are now making growling sounds after hearing the word "bear."

"Go clean up and see if you can con this biker into marrying you," Maks demands before adding when I just watch him, "It would make our mother happy to keep you in town. Can't you even pretend to care for her feelings?"

Properly scolded, I stop frowning at my brother and gesture for the kids to follow me. We head up to my room, where they rest in their beds and talk to their Sesame Street dolls. By the time they crash into a nap, I'm nearly coming out of my skin.

Bear O'Malley is the last person I want to see. I look terrible while he'll look fantastic. Even on my best days, I go weak around him. That's why I didn't confront him about Ollie. If I allowed him to explain, I might have convinced myself to stay. My heart hurt too much to reward Bear with the prize he coveted.

Two years is a long time, though. I can't imagine he still wants me, unless he hopes to punish me for abandoning him.

Of course, if Bear does marry me, I'll be free to remain in Banta City and enjoy the man I've long craved. However, we'll still be the people who wronged each other. Is it possible to move past those grudges?

Finally, I text Siobhan to ask why Bear is visiting today. She says she doesn't know and will find out. I sit on the closed toilet, tapping my foot and gnawing at my thumbnail. Siobhan takes forever to respond.

I'm in the middle of plucking a few stray hairs from my eyebrows when she calls.

"I don't know," she tells me rather than hello. "I'm at the office, and Zoot said he doesn't do gossip. He suggested I ask his brothers, but Noble and Dad are visiting the Hills Chapter with Mom."

"Why do you think Bear might visit me?"

"Didn't he explain himself to whoever he called?"

"If he did, Maks didn't share those reasons with me."

"I could theoretically text Sync to see if he knows anything. However, if he doesn't have any info, he'll start texting all his biker bros about Bear. I can't imagine that'll go over well."

"Do you think Bear is coming here to yell at me?"

"No, Nat. Bear doesn't yell. He just does that growling thing where he sounds like a failing radiator."

Despite my laughter, I really love when he sounds like that. "I'm scared."

"You've already had Bear's dick inside you. How scared can you be?"

"I had Andrew's dick in me, too."

"Oh, well, that was different," Siobhan stammers. "He was just some guy, but Bear is my family. He won't hurt you. It would break my heart and then I'd break something on him. Are there bones in a man's dick? If yes, I'll break them."

I wish I could drive to Siobhan's house and stay with her until I feel normal again. Instead, I say, "You're a good friend."

"What if he wants to marry you like before?" she asks, seeming hesitant. "I know he's still into you. He asked about you last night at the club. We couldn't really talk, but he seemed sadder than normal."

"I don't want to forgive him for Ollie."

"No, that was sloppy on his part. But if you were married to Bear," she says, and her voice betrays her excitement, "you could stay in Banta City. And he has a big house now with a huge lot and a slick backyard. Your kids would go to the same school as mine. We could be soccer moms together."

I want to sink into the happy future she paints. Except I think of Ollie and feel guilty for going weak over Bear.

"But I'd have to forgive him."

"Not really," Siobhan replies immediately as if waiting for my comment. "You put up with a lot of shit with Andrew just to keep the kids. Why can't you suffer through your resentments toward Bear? That way, you'd get to stay here where you have your family and friends. And you said Bear was good in bed. That already makes him better than the dead asshole."

Sinking into the reality before me, I admit, "I think I could have loved Bear."

"I know, babe. He was going to be your guy like Sync was mine. But you still have a shot here. Isn't eighty percent happiness with Bear better than whatever schmuck your family picks for you?"

I think about Petra's husband. Brandon Arany seemed handsome enough. He wasn't a violent monster like his brother. He was the "Fredo" of his family. Petra seemed to genuinely like him at one point, but she was lonely in Ohio. His family never took a shine to her, though they doted on Shari and Vica, the daughters they resented Petra for giving Brandon rather than a son. My sister couldn't make friends while stuck on their estate all the time. She became trapped at home with her children and people who were always undercutting her.

After she gave birth to the treasured son, they lost what interest they had in Petra. Now, they've tossed her out like the trash. The only reason they let her keep Laszlo is because he's young and sickly. Once he's strong enough, they'll expect him to live at their estate like the girls do. Is that the future waiting for me if I don't marry Bear?

"What if Bear just shows up and growls at me?"

"I don't know," Siobhan replies. "Meow at him, maybe? Moo like a cow. No, wait, just cry. Bear is a huge asshole to most people, but he can't stand when women cry. That's why he avoids Carys when she's knocked up and prone to tears."

"Everything you're saying makes sense, but I'm still scared."

"The night Andrew went too far was only a few days ago. Why wouldn't you be scared of everything right now?"

Peeking out from the bathroom, I find my babies sleeping soundly. "The kids seem so calm like nothing's gone wrong in their lives."

"Yes, because they have the luxury of knowing their mommy will fix their problems. You saved them from Andrew. You're making moves to appease your family. To them, they're on a fun trip with their protective mommy. You're the one who must prepare for all the twists and turns. So, yeah, of course, you're scared."

Tearing up, I feel exhausted. "I miss you."

"It feels like we're still separated," she admits as her voice breaks. "But that'll pass. Just breathe deep and think positive. Bear isn't a stranger. He might be angry with you for making him look bad, but he's not a moron. He knows he hurt you, too."

Exhaling deeply, I look at myself in the mirror. "If I get scared, I'll pretend you're with me. Just like I did back with Andrew."

"Don't get too attached to imaginary Siobhan. The real one might not live up to her perfection."

Smiling, I ask about Siobhan's day. As she explains her routine in minute detail, I work on my hair. Next, I apply a lot of makeup to help hide my black eye. Instead of concealing anything, I look like a battered hooker.

Wiping off most of the makeup, I accept how there's no hiding the bruises yet.

Finally, I sit on the toilet and close my eyes. Siobhan's voice sinks past my edgy shell and temporarily comforts me.

Yet, I nearly vomit when a knock on the door draws my attention away from the kids. They're still sleepy-eyed from their nap, yet ready to play. I plan to bring them outside with me to talk with Bear. Not only will he be less likely to yell at me with the children watching, but I also want to see how he behaves with them.

If Bear's cold or hostile, I'll roll my dice with whoever my family chooses. I didn't take beatings for two years just to have another man threaten my kids.

"You have a visitor," explains the estate manager when I answer.

I finish tying my shoes and take the kids' hands. "We're going outside to play," I tell them as they watch the estate manager still at the door. "I have to talk to Siobhan's brother."

"Kiera and Deirdre play?" Jacinda asks, mauling Deirdre's name.

"Not today but soon."

Jacinda starts to pout until Hector hugs her. They nearly fall over from squeezing each other so tightly. I smile at their little faces and promise I'll do whatever necessary to give them the life they deserve. If Bear can treat them well, I will swallow my anger and grab hold of this new opportunity.

As we walk downstairs, I'm filled with steely determination. Stepping out into the cloudy day, I scan past the security nearby to the parked motorcycle.

Bear stands with his arms wound tightly across his powerful chest. I'm struck stupid by the sight of him. He's more handsome than even my best fantasy. His brown hair is wind-swept. His tanned face and dark, scruffy beard give him rugged beauty. He's wearing worn jeans and boots. Yet, his black T-shirt looks newer. His blue eyes—capable of making me crazy from across the room—currently size up the security.

I recall how my fingers would slide through his beard when I'd pull him closer for a kiss. I also remember how the rough hairs felt against my inner thighs when he made me go wild.

When his gaze finds me, Bear's expression softens. A smile threatens to form. He rips away the last two years, leaving me aching with an old longing.

No man can make me come apart with a simple half smile like Bear O'Malley.