NATASHA

I'm never summoned for breakfast with the family. The estate manager arrives to take our food order and ask a million questions about the children's needs. I expect her to mention how my parents would like to see me. When I ask about Petra, I learn she's enjoying breakfast with the rest of the family.

Jacinda and Hector don't mind remaining in my bedroom suite. It's nearly as large as our old house. They like the bay window, where they sit and point at people moving around below.

I find myself overly focused on my tackboard. Most photos are of Siobhan, Hunter, and me. I have several of Ollie frowning at the camera. He always wore a confused expression on his face. Life on the autism spectrum made everything more difficult. His lazy, selfish family didn't help him. I was the only one who cared if he lived or died.

Wiping tears from my eyes, I feel myself sinking into a dark place. I've never really processed the pain of his death or Bear's hand in it.

Instead, I ran away, met the kids, and focused on making them happy. Now, I'm right back in the place—physically and emotionally—I was when I fled.

The knock at the door leaves me stuck in place. I can't deal with more judgment. My body hurts from Andrew's angry hands. My heart breaks over poor dead Ollie. I don't know how I can protect my babies in Banta City.

When another, harder knock follows, the kids run to the door and try to open it. I force my feet to move.

I find Leon staring at me with his cold blue eyes. "You have a visitor."

"Who is it?"

My brother offers me an annoyed scowl. He opens his mouth to explain before deciding I'm unworthy of such a courtesy. When he gestures for me to leave the room, I hurry to the bathroom to clean my tearstained face.

Returning to the door, I find Jacinda with her little fingers wrapped around Leon's pinkie. My brother looks like a trapped animal, wanting to break free. He doesn't dare yank his hand away, though.

Picking up a tired Hector, I smile and follow after my brother. Downstairs, we walk past armed men and down long, echoey hallways. Jacinda keeps hold of Leon who shortens his steps to avoid dragging her.

Inside the east wing's greeting room, I nearly come out of my skin with glee over the sight of my best friend and her daughters.

Siobhan looks glorious in her faded jeans and simple pale blue blouse. I adore how she didn't dress up for this visit. I get the sense she was in a rush. Even her hair seems slightly damp.

Jacinda frees Leon who exhales with relief. She inches closer to me and peeks at the two girls flanking Siobhan. Hector wants down so he can stand with his sister.

"I can't believe I haven't spoken to you in two years," Siobhan announces, using her "I want to speak to your manager" voice. "You abandoned our friendship and made no attempt to contact me. I have spent all these years loathing your existence."

"I admit I did you wrong," I reply, playing along with her ruse. "Is there any way I can regain your friendship?"

"No, never."

"What if I say I'm sorry?"

Waving off my words, she plays the victim. "It's been too long with absolutely no contact."

I glance behind me to find Leon standing absolutely still in that "Terminator" way he has about himself. Finally, growing weary of our lies, he rolls his eyes and walks out of the room.

I wait until the door closes before I rush into Siobhan's open arms.

"You're safe now," she says, gripping me and knowing what I need to hear.

"I've missed you so much."

"Everything will be okay now."

As tears burn my eyes, I whisper in her ear. "I sent Andrew to the boneyard."

Siobhan lets me go enough to study my battered face. I expect her to lose her temper, but she sighs instead.

"Only because you had to. There's a reason no one sheds any tears when the abuser dies in ‘Goodbye Earl.' Sometimes, a trip to the boneyard is the ending a person deserves."

I look around the room, assuming we're being monitored. Siobhan's gaze follows mine.

"I'm scared."

Siobhan refuses to be a pessimist and insists, "You're free now."

"They're going to marry me off."

"When?"

"I don't know."

"But not right now."

"No, but soon."

"But not right now," she says again, emphasizing each word.

Focusing on her meaning, I force a smile and enjoy how we're sharing the same space again.

I pull my gaze away from her beautiful face and look at her daughters.

"They've gotten so big," I say and smile at the twins.

"Tell Mom's bestie hello."

Kiera and Deirdre curtsy in sync, making me laugh. The girls' smokey-brown eyes turn away from me and zero in on my babies.

I squat next to Jacinda and Hector while introducing them to the twins. The girls, who are a lovely mix of Siobhan and Sync, smile in unison.

"Do you like cars?" Deirdre asks my babies.

"I have my toy bag locked and loaded," Siobhan explains as the four kids sit on the floor and rifle through the rainbow-colored travel bag filled with various toys.

With the kids entertained, I sit on a couch and ask Siobhan, "How's their dad?"

Standing behind the couch, Siobhan brushes my hair. I feel like she's trying to mold me back into the woman I was before Ollie died and Andrew slowly ate at my self-worth.

"Sexy, selfish, stupid," she explains and then adds, "He dotes on the girls, of course. We're always fighting over who gets to keep them. He's plenty pissed about me bringing them here today, but I figured you'd need someone to entertain your babies."

I look up at her and smile. "Are you seeing anyone new?"

Siobhan's pleasant expression turns sour. "My brothers are always scaring off possible boyfriends. Especially Indigo with his creepy puritan bullshit," she says and exhales deeply. "So, the short answer is, no, I'm not seeing anyone new."

"Maybe you can hit up an out-of-town bar, away from the club's influence. You could meet men who aren't aware the Backcountry Kings even exist."

"I can't go alone."

"Why not take Hunter? She's a solid wingman."

"Tack is stalking her. Where she goes, he always seems to follow. I swear he stuck a tracking device up her butt when she wasn't looking."

"Wouldn't she have shit it out by now?"

"Okay, then it's up her clam, attached to her IUD. I don't know. Stop hitting me with your logic."

Smiling, I ask, "Does Tack scare off guys?"

"Not from me, but he won't let Hunter date anyone."

"That's psycho, right? I mean, I know he's a biker, but that seems psycho."

"Tack is so handsome, and his pretty looks conned Hunter into thinking he was soft. But then, she realized his true nature. Her rejection seems to have broken Tack. So, yeah, psycho. Of course, she still has a crush on him, so she allows him to scare off other men," Siobhan explains and leans her head down to kiss my forehead. "Your poor eye looks so purple."

My fingers go to my tender flesh. Maybe the pain blinds me to my common sense because I choose to ask about her other foster brother.

"How is Bear?"

Siobhan goes still before shoving the brush into her bag and collapsing over the side of the couch until she's pressed against me.

"Do you really want to know?"

"I'm not sure."

"I'll take that as a yes. You know how much I love to gossip."

"Then please share."

Siobhan's blue eyes study me. "You know he's torn up about killing Ollie, right?"

Losing my smile, I shrug. "Him feeling bad doesn't change anything."

"No, and I'd never judge you for leaving. Bear fucked up that day. But he did try to save Ollie. It was just too late."

Feeling my panic and grief returning, I try to lean away. "This isn't the kind of gossip I wanted."

Siobhan won't let me flee her affection. She hugs me to her and strokes my head.

"You've been out in the cold for too long. Let me love you."

I laugh at her overly affectionate hug. The four kids look at us wrestling on the couch and share my giggles. Once Siobhan traps me against her body, she refuses to let go.

"Bear's got a girlfriend," she says when I stop fighting her.

Pretending her words don't sting, I ask, "What's she like?"

"Aneta manages Stairway to Heaven. She's so good at poaching dancers from other strip clubs, they've banned her all over town. She has to wear disguises to get through the doors now. Aneta is fun and above-average smart. You'd like her."

"Have they been together long?"

"A year. Her boyfriend went to prison, and she got lonely. Bear hasn't been himself since you rode his dick. When you left, he got extra mopey. Now, they're sad together."

"That's romantic."

Siobhan strokes my head trapped against her chest. "You think that way because you spent two years with a charmless loser. Otherwise, you'd see how it's sad."

"But Bear often seemed sad."

"Yes, because he thinks being sad is better than being angry. Bear's a complicated man."

I lift my gaze to meet hers. "I loved Ollie."

"I know you did. He was your first boyfriend, and you took care of him. If he had listened to you and stayed away from his brother, you'd still be taking care of him. You're a good friend."

Overwhelmed by the sense of loss, I break down in Siobhan's arms. My heart hurts as I nurse regrets and betrayals. I feel guilty over hurting Bear, even though I resent him for stealing my friend's life.

I saw something in Bear, long before we hooked up. I'd catch him mumbling angrily to himself. He always seemed to be unhappy with himself and his place in the world. I'd gotten hung up on the dream of loving away his problems.

Of course, the world isn't fair or kind. That's why Ollie died instead of his brother. And why Hector and Jacinda's last memory of their father is him hurting their little bodies. And why Bear always feels unloved, even after he found a family with the Backcountry Kings. And finally, it's why I'll marry whoever my parents choose for me.

A cruel world demands its payment, and my tears won't change a damn thing.