NATASHA’S EPILOGUE

The first night at Bear's house isn't a particularly romantic affair. I doze off in the limo on the way home from the reception. The kids are beyond exhausted and more than a little cranky by the time we reach the house. Nat helps me get them in bed. As she goes to unpack in her newly furnished room, I sit in the chair between the kids' beds and read a story. They're both asleep long before I finish.

Bear watches me from the doorway, yawning and hurting after a long day. Both of us are due for our pain medicine. After the evening nurse doses us up, we shuffle into his bathroom and help each other undress.

This isn't our first shower together. Bear joined me under the hot water a day ago. We soaped each other up and got handsy enough to both come. Tonight, we can't even do that much. I forget all about wearing his vest. Instead, I crawl in bed, collapse on my belly, and sleep instantly.

Around midnight, I wake to pee and check on the kids. Using their Elmo nightlight to see, I find they haven't moved. I smile at how exhausted they are after a long, nap-free day.

The nurse remains in the living room. Though I accept the pill she offers, I rest it on the bed's nightstand. As I crawl back under the covers, I notice Bear is awake and watching me.

In our haste to get in bed, we left the shades open. Moonlight fills the room, allowing me to see Bear's frowning face.

"The kids are okay."

"Are you?" he asks in a ragged voice.

"I could use some ravishing, but I worry your dick is too drugged to fill me up."

Bear slides his hand up my oversized T-shirt and sighs. "I could probably work up a boner. Say something sexy."

"I like cock."

"Say something sexier."

"I like your cock."

Bear chuckles and kisses my lips. "That'll do."

We consummate our marriage in a subdued way. First, we make out, gently kissing and stoking until he's hard and I'm wet. Then, Bear has me spoon with him. His hand rests against my belly before his cock slides between my folds and tenderly brings me pleasure.

After the chaotic, painful last month, I'm in desperate need of this quiet intimacy with Bear. More than attraction and sexual desire, our connection tonight feels comforting. No one fills me with hope like the man holding me. No woman offers him a safe place to keep his heart. We've found something special together.

That's why we don't need a decadent honeymoon. Instead, we find a routine in our new life. Those next few days, we do sleep more, lounge a lot, and heal up.

Every few days, various members of Bear's family visit. Siobhan is often here. We either order in or grill outside. I try to keep up with the bikers' inside jokes and ignore their roughhousing.

A week after the wedding, my parents visit for dinner. The mansion's chef arrives a few hours beforehand to prepare the meal. I try to be a good host, but I mostly just cling to my mom. Maybe that's why Katja seems so sad when they prepare to leave for the evening.

"I enjoyed having you and the children at the mansion," she admits as I stand next to their SUV. "When you're well, I hope you'll visit often."

My mother's words are the push I need to stop hiding. The house feels safe and warm. The kids and I already have a routine. Bear has gotten the hang of Nat lurking around. The cats barely ever get spooked and hide when the kids get loud. Life at home is perfect. Why ruin things by leaving the gated property dripping with security?

Of course, the longer I'm at home, the scarier Banta City becomes. I'm afraid to see the hotel where we had the engagement party. Or drive past Jefferson River where Petra and I were nearly swallowed up. Or return to the St. Thérèse Hospital, where I was treated. I'll need to face the trauma from that night if I ever want to be myself again.

That's why I choose to give birth at St. Thérèse Hospital a year later. By then, I'd visited the spot where the SUV went in the water. Petra joined me as we walked along the muddy riverbank where we were found. We also sat at a memorial built nearby to remember the people lost that night.

Though Bear watched us face our fears, he didn't participate. I suspect that night will scar him for much longer than it does me.

I'm in a happy mood on the day of my C-section. My doctor scheduled the procedure based on my daughter's size and position.

"She won't turn around," I tell Bear. "I don't know where she gets her stubborn nature from, but we're taking her out whether she cooperates or not."

No matter my teasing, Bear is terrified about the surgery. He hides his paranoia behind grumpiness.

Bear isn't the only one stressing the procedure. Katja decides to stay at our house for my first week home to supervise my care. Motherhood has brought us much closer over the last year. She dotes on Petra's kids at the mansion. However, my babies seem out of reach, leaving her clingy.

The C-section goes smoothly. Olívie is a healthy eleven pounds. Bear holds his daughter and frowns at how big she is compared to the other babies he's seen. Each person who visits mentions her size, making him growl more.

Finally, Aunt Fred arrives to settle him down. "You were twelve pounds," she explains and shows him a document. "Your weight is on your hospital paperwork. See?"

Bear's frown quickly disappears. I suspect he's mostly happy at how Aunt Fred took the time to locate those documents to help him. She knows him so well and is always two steps ahead of whatever barrier he tries to build for himself.

"What if she looks too much like me?" Bear asks Aunt Fred as he brushes Olívie's brown hair back under her pink cap.

"Natasha thinks you're handsome, doesn't she?"

I smile at him from the bed and point out, "Your good looks are why we got pregnant so quickly. I would have faked a headache with a less attractive man."

"Natasha, you should play hard to get," Carys announces while trying to steal the baby from Bear. "That's how I keep Pork Chop interested."

Standing behind Carys, her husband shakes his head as if she's spewing nonsense.

"I've tried to withhold sex," I tell her. "But Bear took off his shirt, so I gave up."

Though Bear smirks arrogantly at my praise, he can't take his eyes off his daughter. He's been excited since I showed him the positive pregnancy test. Right away, Bear suggested naming the baby after Ollie.

"I never want you to think you have to forget him, just because I'm the reason he's gone."

Bear's words erased any residual anger I felt toward him. There's no denying he messed up. While Bear can never fix what he did, I chose to forgive him. One day, I hope he can find a way to forgive himself.

By the time Olívie is born, Bear has grown accustomed to the staff at the house. He ignores security except to boss them around when I plan to go somewhere. My work at the homeless and women shelters makes him edgy. Sometimes, he'll show up and keep watch. I don't mind his paranoia since his protective nature is what drew me to him in the first place.

Hector and Jacinda are in preschool before the baby is born. I worried a more structured environment would smother their goofy natures. They do butt heads with their teachers from time to time and prefer to play together rather than with most other students.

Though Jacinda and Hector embrace their rowdy side around the Backcountry Kings and O'Malley family, I also teach the kids how to be a Kovak. We practice "crab apple" on a regular basis. My kids will need to walk the tricky line between two vastly different worlds. One runs hot and loud. The other is cold and quiet.

No matter their complicated future, they'll grow up surrounded by friends. When we visit Thibeaux Mansion, Hector and Jacinda still chat with the staff. They eventually win over my brothers through their sheer refusal to be ignored. And, of course, they wrap their grandfather around their little fingers.

They're just as chatty at the farm. They laugh at the large men wrestling. Hector eventually warms up to Hicks and Hudson. Ripley isn't too much older than Olívie, so they often get paired together growing up. Like Jacinda and Hector, Olívie has never met a stranger, is obsessed with the color blue, and adores Sesame Street. However, she never buys in to the Grover thing.

"I am O'Malley," Olívie insists to her older siblings.

Bear always grins and announces, "I taught her that."

As much as I enjoy my life in Banta City, I can't forget the dead man I left on my way here. A little part of me still stresses over what Hector and Jacinda will think when they're old enough to realize how their father died.

Having looked death in the face and survived, I choose to believe I can handle anything now. The Kovak determination will help me deal with the kids' reaction to the truth when the time comes.

The two years from Olívie's birth to my next pregnancy are busy yet wonderful. After several delays, we finally enjoy our Key West honeymoon. Our group ends up claiming most of the resort. Security and staff have a ball for those two weeks. My parents join us and watch the kids most nights. I'm able to run around naked with Bear, wearing only his vest.

"This is all I've ever wanted," Bear says on our final night in Key West. "A beautiful, rich wife with an outie belly button. Funny kids. Lavish vacations. My friends sending jealous texts all day. It's been my dream for as long as I can remember. I really deserve nothing less."

Even though I know he's screwing with me, I agree Bear O'Malley deserves everything he wants. Our road to this moment wasn't easy. I tried so hard to hate and forget him. Yet, Bear's affections had branded me. No other man would ever be enough. This life with Bear is what I dreamed of back before I knew he could be mine.

In the end, we both got what we deserved.