NATASHA

During the first two tests, I remain calm because I think Bear is at my side. Only when Syndicate security insists on remaining in the room do I realize he's gone. Was he ever really here? Did he die in the attack?

No, Bear was with me. I remember him whispering for me to stay with him. I heard such pain and fear in his voice. I'd never seen Bear that way before. I didn't imagine it. He was here, but now he's gone.

That's when I start screaming. I don't know why really. I wanted to scream when the gunfire started and when the SUV flipped over. Then, in the river and when I had to drag Petra and myself to safety.

Once I start screaming, I can't stop. I think of the driver in the SUV. I imagine my sister's limp body. I see my children's faces as I kept them busy while we waited for the cleaning crew. I remember arriving at the hospital to learn Ollie was dead. Screaming won't fix the pain, but it gives voice to it.

My mother's voice breaks through the noise. I realize my eyes are closed. I open them to find her face above me. I go silent immediately and stare into her lovely tear-filled eyes.

"We thought we lost you," she whispers in Czech. "I still can't believe you're here."

"Mommy," I mumble and begin to cry. "I think I killed Petra. I didn't know what to do."

"No, no, she's alive. You did good, my sweet baby girl."

"Are you hurt?" I ask, remembering the gunshots. So many bullets, all searching for victims. "I didn't know what happened."

"Your father and I are unharmed. Roman was shot. The doctors have him in surgery."

"Is he going to die?"

"Eventually," Viktor says suddenly at my other side. "But not now."

Drained of energy, I go quiet and just watch them. I want to say something reassuring or explain how they raised me right. I only survived because of them. Except I have nothing left in me tonight.

I close my eyes and think about Bear holding Hector in his arms. Jacinda grips his hand. I remember how he showed them how to use the laser pointer to get the cats to chase the red light. The kids were learning to trust Bear. Tonight, I thought we lost our chance to be together. Now, I hold onto those memories as if they alone can save me.

I barely wake when I'm given more tests and my wounds are treated. I open my eyes for only a minute when I'm wiped down. I hear my mother's voice speaking to the staff. I see how these women caring for me are Syndicate workers rather than hospital ones.

"Am I still having my wedding?" I ask my father at one point. "I don't want to wait."

Viktor smiles a few inches from my face. He seems tired yet in control. "Nothing will change. Even if Roman can't attend, he'll watch on the video feed."

"I love Bear," I whisper as if sharing a secret.

My father offers a tender smile. I've rarely seen him so unguarded.

I close my eyes without thinking. I don't know how much time passes. When I open them and try to change positions, I hear a familiar growly voice.

"Be careful with your tubes," Bear warns.

My gaze struggles to zero in on everything in the room. Finally, I focus on Bear's handsome face.

"Did you get hurt?" I ask and try to reach for him.

My hand doesn't move much, while Bear erases the space between us. He holds my hand against his jaw and stares at me like he's desperate for reassurance.

"Well, did you get hurt?" I ask, and he frowns.

"Just my heart." When my gaze focuses on his bandaged bicep, he shrugs. "A few bullets nicked me. Only flesh wounds. I nearly forgot to get them taken care of when I got to the hospital. They're nothing."

"I'll kiss your boo-boos the next time we're naked."

Bear offers a little smile. "Are you in pain?"

"Am I injured?"

"You're suffering from a concussion, hypothermia, bruised ribs, lots of cuts and bruises. The professionals claim you'll be okay."

I suddenly notice the sun filtering through the thick, hospital curtains. Blinking wildly, I scan the room.

"Where are my parents?"

"They're checking on Petra and Roman. If I understand correctly, you and Petra are going home. Roman will need a few more days in the hospital."

"Are Leon and Maks okay?"

"Yeah, they fucked up the enemy. We've rounded up all the assholes. The threat is over."

I try to smile but fail. "Are your brothers okay?"

"Sync took bullets to the shoulder and thigh."

"Is everyone else okay?" I ask and think of the driver.

"Some of your security didn't make it. Several civilians were killed. A few of our guys got banged up. Two others got fucked up like Sync. A bunch ended up with flesh wounds like me. One guy lost his earlobe. For the number of bullets flying, it's shocking how few people got killed. Even the assholes had a bunch survive. We caught a dozen on their way out of town. A few others ended up at the hospital."

I don't ask who attacked us. The why doesn't matter to me. Violent men will learn the answers and impose their revenge.

"How are our babies?"

"Siobhan went over to see them earlier. She explained how you had an accident. They were scared when you weren't home when they woke up. She said they cried, but she also sent this," he explains and shows me a video of Siobhan holding a kite near the back patio. The kids are jumping around her, clapping about the Big Bird face staring down at them.

Tears burn my battered skin. I watch the video three times before I stare at Bear.

"I love you," he says, revealing raw pain. "I thought you were dead, Natasha. I had lost all hope once I saw your SUV go through the guardrail and in the water. Who would think you could have survived? I still worry I'm cracked in the head and this is all a fantasy."

Bear is spiraling in his fear and pain. As much as it hurts to be the one in the midst of the violence, standing outside it and watching others suffer can be worse.

"I love you, Bear," I say and squeeze his hand. "We got lost in the chaos last night, but we found our way back together. I believe we always will."

Bear exhales as if he's been holding his breath all night. I can't even imagine the chaos he endured as bullets were flying. I'm traumatized enough by memories of the SUV in the river.

Rather than consider how close we came to losing our second chance, I hold Bear's hand and watch the video of Siobhan with the kids.

"I'm going home with you," Bear says and yawns. "I'll stay at the mansion today."

His words offer me hope. The room is filled with his scent, making me feel like we're back at his house.

Relaxed now, I doze off to the sound of my babies squealing with delight over the kite held by my best friend.