Chapter 22

Twenty-Two

XAVIER

“Yes.”

And the sound is like a missing melody to a tune I’ve been drafting in my mind for years.

The crowd erupts with cheers, a large sigh of relief echoing throughout the tent.

She’s so angry with me, and I understand, but hopefully she’ll bear with me until I can get us alone. I stand and grip her tightly around the waist. Pressing my lips close to her ear, I plead with her, “I love you, Marissa. I know you’re upset. I can explain everything later.”

A tinkling sound fills the area as the guests tap on their champagne glasses with their forks, encouraging us to kiss. When I lean down to press my lips against hers, her mouth stiffens into a line, but I turn us so it looks as if we’ve given the crowd their show.

Never have I felt guilty about the things I’ve done. Murder, torture, violence. Nothing. Not until I see the absolute hurt and anger in her eyes. It echoes within my heart. We just need to make it through this fucking party…

She attempts to tug away from me, but we’re met with a stampede of our friends and family. Hers and mine. The women lift her hand to inspect the ring. The waiters start serving the meals and everyone seems to have moved onto the celebration. Slipping my arm around her waist, I pull her close so she won’t run away. She’s never getting away. Not even if she’s angry with me.

“You poor, poor thing, Marissa,” Mason says as he glances at me. “When he inevitably screws up, come on over to my place.” Fucking asshole. Forcing a fake laugh, I smile, then punch him in the arm, but he dodges it.

“Way too young to get hitched, in my opinion,” Levi says. As he does, Elle darts a glare at him, but he turns his face away from her to take a sip of his drink. He better get this shit straightened out before tonight’s over.

Speaking of, G stands in the back of the crowd and won’t look at me. Kinsley’s standing apart from him, the two looking like they were just in a brawl. I told him if he needs my help with things, all he needs to do is reach out… But he’s too stubborn for that. Besides, now I have my own spitfire to deal with.

During dinner, I try to speak with her several times, but she won’t even make eye contact with me. To cause the knife to twist in my chest, whenever I slip my hand underneath hers, she pulls it away. It kills me not to touch her. Every moment apart has been pure agony, and I was hoping that now I know the truth, we can move forward.

After we eat, Marissa barely taking any bites, the local newspaper wants us to pose for their engagement section. Following us all over the grounds, they snap their flashes repeatedly, making my irritation rise, but not enough for me to give up my fake smile. Marissa will look back on these pictures one day and appreciate them. The love of my life will marry me. I’ll make it so. At least my kitten plays along and lets me touch her for the photo ops.

Before we leave, her father tugs on her free hand, the one I’m not holding on to for dear life, and pulls her in for a hug. I don’t let go of her. And I won’t. With his mouth pressed near her temple, he thinks I can’t hear him. But he tells her, “If you want to back out, we’ll handle it. I want you to be happy, and you don’t look happy.” She bites her bottom lip and smiles, tears threatening to spill onto her cheeks.

I can understand the man’s worry, but she’s mine now. All I want to do is gather her in my arms and make it okay. Have her trust me again. Let her know I’ve heard her… But I do know what’s best for her, and I’m trying to do that now.

Our mothers excitedly try to go over wedding plans with her until I shoo them away, saying we need to head out. My father embraces her, welcoming her to the family. My jaw tightens as he does. This whole thing is his fault. If she’s angry…it should be at him.

Pulling away, he narrows his eyes at me while speaking to Marissa. “I can’t wait for the grandchildren to come along!”

Yeah, Dad. I’m working on it.

When I met her, watched her for those years, she never had a backbone. All I wanted was for her to get a voice. Now she finally uses it when we get back in the car.

As I slide into my seat, I turn to her. “I know you’re angry⁠—”

“Xavier, I’m livid.” Then, she does the worst thing she could ever do. Sliding my mother’s ring off her finger, she holds it out for me. “Here. The show’s over.”

“What?!” My heart fractures into a million pieces at the sight of her holding our future out like it means nothing to her, and my world fucking crashes. Panic prevents me from breathing. Pleading with her, I manage to choke out, “No, no, no, no. Please, Marissa, you will crush me. You’ll end my life. Please don’t give it back.” A strained groan of frustration finally releases some of the tension in my ribs as I let it go. If she leaves, I’ll end everything. There’s literally no point in living anymore. Panting, I beg her, “Please, wait. Please, put it back on.”

Rolling her eyes, she sighs heavily and slides it onto her finger again, the sharp agony in my chest dulling to an ache. “Xavier, I told you it was too soon, and you went and did it anyway, in front of everyone! You know I hate being the center of attention, and you chose to do this in front of my entire family and friends… I am so angry with you. I want to break up.”

That is never happening. She will never leave me. “No, don’t say that. You’re not breaking up with me. Please, will you let me explain? Can I explain some things to you?” Turning her head to look out the window, I start the car and push on the gas, full speed. The back tires squeal as we take off, and she whips her head to me. “I’m taking you to the cabin.”

As soon as we arrive, I try to open her car door for her, but she busts out and walks with her arms crossed to the door. Like she can’t stand to be near me. Once inside, I busy myself making a fire while she grabs some water, sipping it slowly and giving me a death glare. Loosening my tie, I toss it and my jacket on the chair. If I can tell her what has happened, maybe she’ll see my side. If she doesn’t…I’ll just have to keep her here until she understands.

Standing in front of me, she tosses her hands on her hips, her thick bottom lip jutting out with a pout. “Don’t expect me to be here long. Make your speech, then take me home. And make it good, or we’re done.”

Part of me is so proud of her for asking for what she wants. It’s just too bad that I know best. And what’s best is that we remain together.

I take a seat on the couch, forcing my hand into hers and pulling her down beside me. The fierce hatred shining through her forest green eyes makes me have to put my head in my hands to keep the pain from ripping my heart out. I never want to hurt her. Ever.

With a deep breath in, I begin. “I loved my sister and mother. They were everything to me. My father was too busy with his business to care, but the three of us…we were a family. Yeah, my dad and I became close after, but when my mom and Olivia were alive, he avoided us.” Running my hands through my hair, I try to find some way to explain my life to her. How everything changed for me… How she herself became unwittingly involved in it.

Searching the ceiling for answers, I continue. “At first, I hated your whole family, but after watching you, I wondered if you had been hurt, too. Your mother doesn’t have a clue. It’s your father’s fault. I don’t know. I think I’m realizing maybe that’s not true either.”

And it’s not. I know that now. But grudges from the grief of my past are difficult to overcome.

“I’m confused,” she says, somewhat relaxing in her seat. “What does my father have to do with⁠—?”

“Your uncle raped my sister. She died after… He murdered her.” Saying the words feels like I just cut her with a knife. But it’s also so freeing for me. Like I just infected someone else with the disease I’ve been carrying since I was twelve. It’s a shared illness now.

While my shoulders relax, hers stiffen. Her mouth falls open.

Clearing my throat, I say, “My sister was eleven at the time.” Nodding toward her, I reach for her hand. She lets me take it. “The same age as you. My mother couldn’t live with the grief. She overdosed a few years later. I was a junior in high school. I found her.”

I force myself to forget that image every day, the one of walking into her room and seeing her cold and flat. But it’s impossible to keep something out of your mind. So I fill it with other things. Things I can control.

And that’s where everything went downhill for me. The if onlys. If only I had made sure Olivia was in bed that night. If only I had made sure my mother’s pills weren’t in her cabinet. If only I had killed the man who did this.

But if onlys never bring someone back.

No matter how much money I have, it doesn’t matter. I’ll never have my family back. That’s when I figured out that I could create one, but this time the if onlys wouldn’t win. I just need to make sure Marissa is safe. And never leaves. Not like them.

Finally, her voice cuts through the tense air. “Xavier…I don’t know what to say. How did I not know this?”

Shrugging, I lace my fingers into hers. Just to touch her. To keep her here. She can’t be apart from me. “We kept everything out of the papers as much as we could. Pretty sure your father never mentioned anything. No one knew about my mother’s cause of death.”

“No, my father never talked about my uncle. We don’t mention him. Ever. But you seem to think this was my father’s fault?”

This is the part I didn’t want to tell her. Blowing out a long breath, I explain everything. “I wondered if he was an accessory, if he knew what his brother did and kept it quiet.”

Two shovels. Only one other acquaintance that Charley can’t find. And the evidence that her father didn’t do it? His alibi? He was on call at the hospital all night. Records prove that to be the case, but it was beyond troublesome to hunt down the physical time sheets to prove it. Stuffed in an old medical records building basement, the papers were lost, and I had to pretend to work there for a few days, even pay off some employees to turn a blind eye. So now, knowing he didn’t help, but also didn’t tell the police, it makes me feel weird about him. But not murderous.

“After my mother, I was angry for so many years, then decided to look into him to see if I was right. Over the last couple of years, I gathered evidence and was going to turn it over to the police, ruin your family as I thought he had mine.” Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. I was going to stuff him in a grave. But I had to know.

Narrowing my eyes, I recall my original plan from two years ago. Find his daughter, ruin her and her life as much as possible, ruin his wife and her life, destroy his income and his life…then take it. My lips grimace as I remember those old feelings I had. “I saw you on campus and figured out who you were. It pissed me off to see you and your family living such happy lives, while my family had been destroyed. I thought that if I had evidence, you’d do whatever I wanted to prevent me from going to the police.

“Once I read your diary, I knew you had been a victim, too. But your dad, he didn’t tell anyone what happened.” That’s something I’ll never get over, even if he wasn’t the direct accomplice. He didn’t protect Marissa. No one has, except for me. Her parents brushed everything under the rug, kept it quiet. And she suffered because of that. “I just kept thinking if he had, my sister would be alive. My mother would be alive.”

“But…my dad didn’t know he would hurt other girls. How could he?”

“Yeah, he said that to me, too. He told me if he could go back, he would have told the police. That he never guessed what your uncle was capable of.” His contrition and the fact that he’s the love of my life’s father are the only reasons he’s still capable of walking.

“It was his brother. It must have been very confusing.” Scooting closer, she places her arm over me as I wrap mine around her waist. “I can understand your anger. Xavier, I never knew about your sister. I swear.”

“I know. My anger has been directed in the wrong place. It should have only been at the murderer.” And whoever had the second shovel. The unknown accomplice. But Charley has a lead and feels he’s close to revealing who it is. And I think I know who it is, too.

Swallowing, I lean into her side. “I wanted to destroy you, but the longer I watched, the more… I didn’t expect to fall in love with you. I tried to stop myself. These last two weeks, I tried to stay away like your father asked. I just couldn’t. Plus, I had to prove that he wasn’t there helping to bury my sister in the forest. If he was, I wasn’t sure I could be with you without destroying us both. Now that I know your father was elsewhere, we can move forward. We will. Together.”

But I need closure on who held the second shovel. For me.

Grasping her face with both my hands, I force her to look into my eyes. “All Olivia wanted was to be someone’s wife and mother. She played house all the time. She loved dogs and painting with watercolors. Marissa, my sister never got to live… Loving you from a distance for so long, I didn’t want to waste another moment once you were in my arms. You got away from that monster. You escaped. You got to live. Instead of being so bitter about that, I changed and wanted to give you everything she would never have once I fell for you. I wanted to give you a life.”

This is everything I want now. To keep her and my family safe. Fill her with my children and start a family. A legacy. I know she wants to wait, but I can’t.

Tears fill her eyes as she leans forward and presses her soft lips to mine, the sensation sending shock waves of pleasure through my pain.

Breathlessly, I say, “I’m so sorry, beautiful. I’m sorry I’ve rushed everything. Once I knew you were it for me, I couldn’t wait for you to catch up. I just wanted to get started on life together. My life is nothing without you in it.”

Seeing her in front of me, not giving in, makes me desperate. I can’t be without her. She’s my everything.

My voice cracks with emotion. “Please don’t take the ring off. Please say you’ll marry me, even if it’s not in the spring. We don’t have to have a big wedding. I just want—” Strained, my throat closes off as I look around at everything I built for her. For us. For our future children. For a life I can control and make sure everyone is safe and stays with me. “I want all this with you.”

Pressing her vanilla-scented body against me, she sniffs and says, “Yes, Xavier. I’ll marry you.”

It’s what I need to hear. Every tied-up emotion loosens until I sob. I think it must be the first time I’ve cried since my sister died, but I let it out onto her shoulder. Pressing my forehead to hers, I catch a breath, then kiss her as if it’s the first time.

Panting onto her open lips, I say, “You just made my heart heal. I can feel it. You’re saving me. I love you.” Reaching down, I dip my tongue in her mouth to deepen our connection, then slide her across my lap. My fingers thread through her hair as I massage her scalp.

“I love you, too,” she says, and the words feel like medicine for the grief I’ve been holding on to.

“You’ll be my wife?” I whisper, checking with her big green eyes.

With a nod, she kisses my cheek. “Yes, I’ll be your wife. And you’ll be my husband.”

That’s all I need to know. Go time. She’s the only woman who can make my dick run from zero to sixty in two seconds.

A feral growl leaves my chest as I unzip the back of her dress, almost ripping it off when it catches on a snag. Her fingers work hurriedly to unbutton my shirt and yank off my cummerbund. Carrying her over to the fireplace, I set her on her legs, then help her step out of her dress while she opens my pants. When I ditch my boxer briefs, my hard cock bobs against my abs.

Kneeling, she kisses the tip with her generous lips, gazing up at me with her submissive, coy eyes.

“Fuck, kitten. I missed you,” I say, throwing my head back for a second to try not to blow on her face, then drop my eyes again so I can watch her suck me. But it’s been two weeks without her, so as soon as she pops the head of my reddened dick in her mouth, I have to pull back or I’ll come. “Stop. I have to taste you again.”

When she stands, I kneel in front of her, tossing one of her legs over my shoulder as she tries to keep her balance. Licking her wet seam, I get my first taste of her peachy musk, then dive my entire face in. Fuck, I love eating her cunt. Sliding fingers inside of her the way she likes, I flatten out my tongue and pulse on her clit repeatedly. Her fingers snatch my hair as she humps my head. A deep growl leaves me as she takes control. I want her to feel this way, to know she can use me as much as she loves to be submissive to me.

“Hang on, I have an idea…” When I stop, she whimpers in desperate need, but I want to eat her with my whole face and get some relief for my throbbing cock. Scooping her up by the waist, I flip her upside down so her mouth is in front of my full erection and her pussy is perfectly aligned for my lips.

On her first dip to take me between her lips, I gasp and shove myself into her sopping cunt, plunging my tongue into her hole. Like a perfect fiend, she swallows my dick deep down her throat, which makes my balls tingle in anticipation of release. My legs shake as I get weak thinking about finishing inside her, but I can’t. Not in her mouth. I try to tell her to slow down, but my teeth are gnawing on her clit. Flipping her around, I set her down, then lay her back on the soft rug. The flames from the fire heat my skin until I’m slick with sweat.

“I don’t want to come in your mouth. Fuck, I have to put my cum in your pussy.” Shifting up her body, I tap my dick on her mound a few times, giving her a teasing grin. She squirms beneath me until I lean on one elbow and grasp her face, then plunge inside. Our eyes meet, half-lidded as we moan in mutual ecstasy. I’m never going without her for that long again.

I take my time and thrust in slowly, memorizing every soothing inch within her. Hitting the apex, I hold there for a long moment, not wanting to explode so soon. “I love you,” I say.

Placing her hands on my face, her eyes glisten as she says, “I love you, too.”

My hips pick up the pace as I gather her completely in my arms, leaning down to kiss her lips so we’re fully connected. Her legs wrap around my waist, locking together behind my back as her nails dig into the skin there.

Finding her ear, I tell her, “I’m serious, though. I can’t wait to make you a mother. It’s all I think about when we’re like this.” Her pussy pulses around my cock, and I know we won’t last much longer. “Just watching your belly get round with my baby…your tits getting swollen with milk…I can’t wait to breed my wife. You don’t even need to think, just keep having my babies, and cook for me, kitten. Just be my little housewife. I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of everything.” She screams her orgasm into my ear, and I revel in the sound, the feel that her body makes as it melts around me, molding just to me.

“Mmm, sounds like that’s exactly what you want. Ugh, I’ll pump you so full of babies. You’ll always have milk for me to snack on.” If only I could reach her nipple, I’d pretend right now… I can’t wait to suck on her full tits after she has our first.

“Daddy, I want to have your babies,” she whispers. And that’s it. I can’t hold back anymore.

“Fuck…” Shoving my full length inside, I fill her pussy with so much cum, it spews out when I pull back slightly. “I needed that. These last two weeks were torture without you.” Thrusting in again, I use my dick to stop her up, so she won’t lose a drop more of my seed. “Never again. I’m not letting you go.”

Her eyes glaze over as she looks like she’s a second away from dreamland. After a few more minutes, I pull out to gather her sleepy body in my arms and carry her into our bedroom, sliding her under the sheets and covering her with the blanket she likes. After getting a fresh glass of water to place by her bed for her midnight thirst, I’m slipping in next to her. With my soon-to-be wife pulled over onto my chest, I sleep the deepest I have in years.