26. Christian

Christian

Something was off. Theo had been distant and distracted all day. During the morning skate, he was just… somewhere else. After his pre-warmup walk, he'd been wound up and twitchy, not relaxed and ready to skate like he usually was.

And then during warmups? Christ, he was on another planet. He managed to not lose an edge or anything, but he kept losing his place in the flow of the team's routine. During line rushes, he couldn't control the puck, which he usually did like it was the most effortless thing in the world.

Normally, I didn't interact with him or the other players once warmups started. Not unless they needed me to fix or swap out some gear. They had to be in the zone and focused on the game, and they were usually getting distracted enough by reporters. My crew and I just stayed out of their way.

This time, though, I stopped Theo on his way back to the locker room. "Hey, let me take a look at your helmet." I gestured at it. "The visor screw looks loose."

He blinked. Then he stepped out of the line of players coming off the ice, took off his helmet, and handed it over. "It feels fine."

"Well, just to be sure…" I tugged a screwdriver out of my tool belt. As I "checked" the screws on his visor, I glanced up at him. "You okay tonight?"

Theo's shoulders dipped, his pads creaking with the movement. He glanced around, probably making sure we were alone. Then he quietly said, "Your dad called me into his office earlier."

I almost dropped the screwdriver. "For what?"

"To let me know he's not sending me down," Theo gritted out. "Yet. He wants to. Now that Stevens is coming back, he really wants to send me down. But I guess Coach made a case to keep me, and your dad agreed to it. So he just wanted me to know that if I fuck up—if I do anything to give him a reason to send me down—I'm gone."

"Jesus fuck," I breathed, and handed back his helmet. "Look, Coach Baldwin respects you enough to go toe-to-toe with my dad over keeping you. Because I guarantee that was not a pleasant conversation."

He swallowed, staring down at his helmet.

"You've got this, okay, baby?" I squeezed his arm, though he might not have felt it much through his pads. "Don't let him get into your head."

Theo chewed his lip uncertainly.

"I mean it. Don't let him fuck with your confidence." I gave his pads a firm pat that I knew he'd feel. "Listen to me—I've been watching this game my whole life. I've seen good players, mediocre ones, generational talents, and people who clearly only got to this level out of nepotism. I can see talent and skill, okay?"

He studied me but still didn't speak.

"You've got hockey IQ to burn," I went on. "I love watching you play because I can see your mind working. I can see you working out plays and being three steps ahead of the guys around you."

His eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"Mmhmm. And I know Coach Baldwin sees it, too. That's why he's fought so hard to keep you even as the injured Rainiers have come back to the roster."

Theo dropped his gaze. "Oh."

"Dad's gonna talk a big game, but remember, the owners expect a winning team. If he's making decisions that are detrimental to the team, that's going to reflect badly on him and he knows it. I mean, right now, the press is raving about how smart he was, bringing you up and keeping you up after you showed so much talent." I smiled. "That's going to massage his ego enough that he's not going to risk the humiliation of sending you down while you and the team are on a hot streak."

"So you think he's just trying to trip me up?"

"Pretty much." I rolled my eyes. "Right now, he's probably super pissed that you're exceeding expectations and he has to just live with it. Just keep doing what you've been doing, and you'll be fine." I paused. "And don't sweat over the small mistakes. You all make them during every game. Coach Baldwin will lose his shit if Dad tries to send you down over a turnover or something."

Theo laughed. "Okay, true."

"Exactly. And even with Dad maybe knowing about us, it isn't like we're doing anything out in the open. We know the Zamboni bay is off limits now, so we'll stick to the safe places." I smiled. "Don't sweat about it. We'll be fine."

He exhaled, which made me think I'd read him right—he was sweating about it. "Okay. Okay, you're right. We'll just keep it behind closed doors." He started for the locker room but paused. "And, um… thanks for the pep talk." He offered up a grin that raised goose bumps along my arms and spine. I didn't expect anything in return for helping him rally, but the gleam in his eyes said he'd be rocking my world later as a thank-you.

"Any time," I said, returning the grin. "Now get in there before someone comes looking for you."

"All right. See you after the game." Then he winked, and he was gone.

I shivered. He'd see me plenty between now and then, but I knew what he meant—he was looking forward to hooking up at the end of the night.

Me too, baby. Me too.

Alone in the hallway, I paused for a few slow breaths. It wasn't fair, the way Dad kept fucking with Theo's head. It was like he wanted to sabotage him and his career. And why? Because he put some rainbow tape on his stick? Jesus fucking Christ.

You know that's not all it is.

I shivered, rolling my shoulders under my hoodie.

No, that wasn't all it was. Dad had been pissed about the tape, and he'd been irritated he'd had no choice but to bring Theo up from the minors. But if he knew what I thought he knew, then he had to be incandescent with fury.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead.

Sooner or later, something had to give.

I just hoped the fallout didn't fuck over Theo or his career.

And for the millionth time, I hoped I didn't lose him.

I had just come backfrom throwing jerseys into the washing machine after the game when Dad went storming out of the locker room. He didn't even give me a second look, thank God. When he was pissed off about something, he tended to get tunnel vision, and I'd learned as a kid how to be very quiet and unnoticeable when he was angry. That way I didn't end up the target of his fury.

It worked this time, and once he'd disappeared down the hall, I continued into the locker room.

Marty was the only one left, and he was red in the face and slamming sweaty towels into a laundry cart.

"Uh," I ventured cautiously. "What was that all about?"

"Your dad being the dickhole to end all dickholes." Marty threw a handful of towels into the cart. "He had a hair up his ass about the fans." He nodded to the large fans we set up to dry out gear overnight.

"What?" I cocked my head. "We've been using those for years. What's his problem?"

Marty made an irritated sound and waved a hand. Yeah, I could read between those lines. Dad didn't like anything that made noise, and he'd probably been incensed that we had the audacity to be running fans when he came into the locker room. Didn't matter that it was part of our normal routine, that it helped everything dry out in time for the next game, and that the equipment managers before us had done the same damn thing.

That was Dad's M.O., too. If he was bitchy about something, he'd find the nearest annoyance to blow up over. Like when he was still coaching, and he came home from a five-game road trip that his team had managed to completely blow. He'd noticed our bicycles in their usual spot in the garage, and suddenly he was furious that they were leaning the wrong way. After that, my sister and I always made sure the bikes were pointing in the opposite direction and leaning against the wall, rather than tilted slightly into the flow of traffic because of their kickstands. I was pretty sure that had pissed him off at some point, too, but whatever.

Marty tossed another handful of towels into the cart, then gestured at the door Dad had stormed out of. "Dude, what is your dad's damage, anyway?"

I gave a caustic laugh. "You think I have a clue?"

"Okay, no, but like… He's been extra douchey lately."

I pressed my lips together.

Marty studied me. Then he inclined his head. "What?"

Shifting my weight, I avoided his gaze.

"Christian. Come on. Level with me." He gestured at the door Dad had gone through. "Do you know what's up his ass right now? Because I'm about this close to having a chat with some of the fuckers on high about it."

I swallowed. Then I glanced around the room and gestured for him to follow me out into the hallway. We found one of the small conference rooms, and after he'd gone inside, I shut the door behind us.

"Okay, you have to promise me that this stays between us." I looked pointedly in his eyes. "No one else knows, so if it gets out, I'm gonna know it came from—"

"Whoa, whoa." Marty showed his palms. "Slow your roll, man. I'm not gonna repeat your business. You know that."

Guilt added to the apprehension in my chest. Yeah, I knew that. I trusted Marty implicitly. But I was paranoid and really couldn't apologize for that.

"Okay. I…" I glanced toward the door as I moistened my lips. Meeting my friend's eyes again, I quietly said, "I think he might've caught on that, um… that I've been seeing one of the players."

Marty's eyes went huge as his jaw slowly went slack. In a hoarse whisper, he asked, "Are you shitting me?" He flailed a hand toward the door. "If he finds out for sure, he will end you. Both of you!"

"I know! I know." And there was a distinct possibility Dad had already confirmed it, but I wasn't going to show that card to Marty. "That's why I need to keep it…" I gestured between us.

He nodded. "Yeah. Smart. But still—what are you thinking?"

"That I fucking love the guy, that's what."

My teeth snapped shut.

For a heartbeat, I wondered if I'd actually said that out loud, but one look at Marty's face said I absolutely had.

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times like a fish. Then he sighed, his shoulders dropping. "Christian. Are you insane?"

I leaned against the wall and raked a hand through my hair. "Probably, yeah. And you don't have to tell me I'm playing with fire or that my dad'll be pissed. I've known that from the start and so has—" I bit my lip. "So has… the other guy."

Marty rolled his eyes. "Just admit it's Mathis."

It was my turn to stare at him in disbelief. "It… How the fuck did you know?"

He laughed and clapped my shoulder. "C'mon. I've known you had a crush on him since forever. I just… uh… Didn't realize…"

My face was on fire. "Yeah, no one was supposed to know." With a grimace, I added, "Especially not my dad."

Marty sobered. "I mean, you guys have been pretty subtle. I knew you had a thing for Mathis, but I had no idea you were hooking up with him. Or, uh… Doing more with him."

The heat in my face intensified. Yeah, I was definitely doing more with Theo. Now that I'd said it out loud, I was itching to tell Theo the truth. That when I said this went beyond sex, I meant it went way beyond sex.

I do love him, don't I? Man, I am so fucked.

Marty cleared his throat, drawing me out of my thoughts. "So, you think that's what your dad's pissy about? Or is he just being extra dickish today?"

"Could be a little of both," I admitted. "I'm not really sure." I glared at the doorway and grumbled, "I'm so tired of his shit, though."

"Yeah, me too. And he's even worse to you. I don't know how you put up with it."

"Do I have a choice?" I was suddenly exhausted. "I mean, yeah, I could try to find a job with another team, or—"

"Try?" Marty snorted. "We have to practically threaten every other team not to poach you. All you'd have to do is make a vague comment on social media that you're thinking of changing teams, and you'll have every GM in the league blowing up your phone."

I laughed. Honestly, he wasn't wrong; I'd had more than a few head equipment managers and general managers approach me about coming to their clubs. They usually backed off, saying they understood I wanted to work for my dad, but I suspected that was more that they didn't want to provoke Dad by poaching me. If I said I was looking for a job, though…

Sighing, I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe? But then I'll end up someplace else while Theo stays here. Or while he plays in Everett. Either way, we wouldn't be able to be together."

Marty frowned. "Man. That sucks." He quirked his lips, then shook his head. "I guess all you can do is keep it on the DL and hope for the best."

"Pretty much, yeah," I murmured.

Though I still had the worst inkling that that particular ship had sailed.

It should've been a relief that Marty had noticed my crush on Theo but hadn't figured out we were together. Still, Dad's cryptic threats needled at me.

It occurred to me then that Dad bluffed about a lot of things. It wouldn't be beneath him at all to tell me there were now cameras in the Zamboni bay just to make me squirm, while at the same time, he still told the facilities workers that they couldn't have the cameras they'd been asking for.

Which… huh. Now I was curious.

I slipped out of the locker room and down the hall. I walked casually aside from glancing around to make sure no one else was around. Then I ducked into the Zamboni bay.

I stayed close to the wall so I'd hopefully be out of view. Inching closer, I scanned any place a camera would make sense.

Nothing.

Laughing to myself, I rolled mye yes and exhaled. Yep. Bluffing. Called it. I fucking called—

A tiny green LED caught my eye. I squinted.

And… there it was. Right above the Zambonis. With a bird's eye view of the gap between them.

A fucking camera.

My blood turned colder than the ice my boyfriend would be skating on.

I slipped back out into the main hallway and walked fast, trying to will myself to stop shaking. So there was a camera. It was entirely possible my father did know, at least that we'd made out in there.

But what I'd told Theo was still true. Even if Dad had busted us in there, he had no proof we were still seeing each other. Aside from our brief interludes between the Zambonis, we'd stayed out of sight. We were good at keeping it on the DL.

All we really had to do was keep doing what we'd been doing. Stay behind closed doors. Stay off Dad's radar.

And holy shit, Theo had to do everything he could to avoid getting sent back down, because God knew Dad would be looking for a reason now.

We had to stay out of sight, and Theo had to keep playing at an elite enough level to stay on the Rainiers.

No pressure, baby…