25. Theo

Theo

Christian:We need to talk. Tonight.

I stared at the text. Well, that sounded ominous. I'd been winding down, ready to go to bed, but I was wide awake now.

Theo: I just had a beer, can't drive. Come by the hotel?

He'd never been here before—too risky—but if this was urgent, then we might have to take the chance.

He responded that he was on his way, so I sent my room number.

About twenty nerve-racking minutes later, there was a knock at my door. When I opened it, a very uneasy Christian looked back at me.

"Hey." I stood aside to let him in. "What's going on?"

He stepped into the room, pushing a hand through his hair. "My dad knows about us."

I froze, still holding the door open "He… How?"

"I'm not sure. And I'm not even sure how much he knows. But he was telling me how there is a theft problem at the arena, and how he's helping them out by checking the security footage." Christian met my gaze. "And he was really emphatic about how it was mostly happening around the Zambonis."

My heart dropped into my feet. "Oh. Fuck. But… there's no cameras there."

"There are now," he said grimly. "And I don't know how long they've been there."

"Ooh, shiiiit."

"Yeah." He shook his head. "Jesus…"

"So… What now? I mean, he knows about us. Is he…" I gulped. "Is he firing you? Sending me back down?"

Christian shook his head again. "Not… Not yet." He wiped a hand over his face and leaned back against the couch. "And I'm not even sure how much he actually knows. Like if he saw the tapes, or if he's just guessing because of the Zamboni drivers who saw you. Maybe they saw both of us. I don't know. Anyway, Dad made some cryptic comments about how he hopes the situation resolves it self. You know, like the thief returns the tools and everything goes back to normal."

My throat tightened. "So… he's giving us a chance to call this off."

Without looking at me, Christian nodded slowly. "I think so. That's… That's the best I could get from what he said."

I watched him, and my heart sank even deeper. "So that's…" I moistened my lips. "That's what we're doing, isn't it? Ending it?"

Christian swallowed. Then he looked me in the eyes. "No."

I blinked. "It isn't?"

"No. It… I won't lie—on the way here, I seriously thought about it. I don't want either of us getting fucked over because of this, you know? You're coming into your prime, and you've got an amazing career ahead of you." He sighed. "I don't want to be selfish. But… I am selfish. And just like before, whenever I think about ending this…" He dropped his gaze and shook his head. "I just can't do it."

There weren't enough words in the English language to describe all the feelings tumbling through me right then. I was relieved he wasn't calling this off, but I also thought I should be the smart one and call it off, but I also realized just how much it would hurt if we ended this. Weren't we just fooling around? Wasn't this kind of a friends with benefits thing? Yeah, we'd agreed to be exclusive, and we'd even managed to sneak out for one discreet date, but were we…

Oh, fuck. Yeah, we were. We really had segued into an actual relationship when I wasn't paying attention. It had been so effortless and natural, I hadn't noticed until I was in this far over my head.

"I can't do it either," I whispered, squeezing his hand. "I know it's a huge risk for both of us. But… I don't want to let us go. Not even if it gets me a one-way ticket back to the minors."

"But your career…"

"I can get my career back on the rails," I said softly. "No, it's not ideal, and yes, I'm going to try like hell to break into the NAPH for real this time. But if that doesn't happen, I'll be a free agent eventually, and I—the point is, there's still options, you know? I won't be stuck playing for the Everett Orcas for the rest of my life." I brought his hand up and pressed my lips to the inside of his wrist. "But there's only one you."

Christian released a stuttering breath. "There's only one you, too. I'm just scared I'll be the reason you—"

My kiss stifled his protests, and he whimpered as he melted against me.

When I was sure he had well and truly shut up, I touched my forehead to his. "If there's any blowback because of this," I murmured, "it's not your fault. You didn't do this. We went into this with our eyes open. We knew the risks."

"We did." Then he laughed softly. "And the fact that I've thought about ending this twice and can't fucking do it… That should tell us something, you know?"

"It should, yeah." I kissed him again, relieved he hadn't been able to follow through with that either time. I wasn't mad about it, either; I totally understood why he'd wanted to pull back. It wasn't about us. It was about all the shit that would hit the fan if someone found out about us.

Yes, it was still a risk.

And yes—God, yes—I was still willing to take that risk.

Anything for you, baby.

The injury fairyhad relented recently, and apart from the two Rainiers still on LTIR, everyone had either come back or would shortly. One by one, players who'd come up from the PHL were being sent back down.

I had mixed feelings. It was always a relief to see an injured player getting reactivated. Even if they were on a rival team, no one ever wanted to see someone seriously hurt.

But sooner or later, as the roster leveled out again, it was going to be my turn to go down. At the very least, I'd be healthy-scratched like Larsson, who'd been filling in for an injured defenseman. He'd been benched for four games while the other guy had played again, and yesterday, he'd gone back to Everett.

Now more than ever, I had to shine. I had to stand out and make myself noticed so that when I did go down, Coach would have me at the top of his list of call-ups next time someone was injured. I had to hope that I'd made enough of a name for myself here that it would override Jack's disgust for me. Coach had made a case for keeping me on the roster all this time, even after Mackenzie came back last week. That meant something, didn't it?

I wasn't holding my breath. Coach had managed to keep me here, but I doubted Jack would be willing to bring me back unless the Rainiers were desperate like they had been this season.

There were two PHL players left on the roster right now—me and Brody. The last injured forward who'd be back this season, Stevens, had just gone to Everett on a conditioning loan, so he'd probably be back on the Rainiers within the next week or two. That meant either me or Brody would be on the bench soon, and likely headed back up north.

There was room on the roster for one of us to stay. Jack had made some trades in recent weeks, including a fourth line winger in exchange for a handful of draft picks and future considerations. That left room for one of us to stay here even after Stevens was fully reactivated.

No pressure or anything.

Great time to shoot yourself in the foot by continuing to date the GM's son, huh?

I grimaced. How well would I have to play to stay on this roster with that black mark?

Well, all I could do was play my hardest and hope Coach demanded that I stay here. At the end of the day, the club wanted a winning team above all else, and there was only so much they were going to let the GM compromise things based on his own ego or personal issues. So the only way I was going to hold on to this spot was to make myself too valuable for him to send down without raising eyebrows.

Yeah.

No pressure.

Fuuuck.

It didn't help that when I got to the arena for the morning skate, I was immediately summoned into Jack's office.

Ooh, that didn't bode well…

I was being sent down, wasn't I? This was it. This was the "pack your things, check out of the hotel, and get your ass back to Everett" conversation. At least I didn't have much to pack. I could be out of that room in under twenty minutes.

Still have to go get all the stuff I've left at Christian's place, though…

I shoved that thought away. The last thing I needed on my mind when I faced off with Jack was how many clothes and toiletries I'd left in his son's condo.

I went upstairs to where the team's staff had offices. They were smaller here than the ones at the practice facility, which was where they conducted most of their business. But sometimes there were trades in the works on game night, especially in the run-up to the trade deadline, so they needed some office space.

I thought Jack's enormous office at the practice facility was over-the-top, especially with some of the staff cramped into shared offices and cubicles. Walking into the tiny one he had here, though, I'd have given my right nut to have this meeting in the bigger office.

I did not like being in close quarters with Jack Hayes. As I stepped into the suffocating office, the walls were seriously closing in, and sweat beaded on the back of my neck. "You, um… You wanted to see me?"

"Yes. Sit down."

I did, staying ramrod straight because I didn't dare relax.

Jack folded his hands on the desk and stared at me for an uncomfortably long moment. "I'm sure you're aware that Stevens is conditioning in Everett right now."

I nodded slowly, my heart sinking because I knew what was coming.

"Right." Jack sat back in his chair. "You and Brody will both dress for tonight's game, but as soon as Stevens is ready to come back to the lineup, Brody is going back to Everett."

Wait. What?

I shifted in the chair. "Oh. He is?"

"Yes. I was absolutely ready to send you back down. You've been playing well, but I've never been a fan of rewarding defiance." He narrowed his eyes. "I haven't forgotten about the tape incident."

I had no idea how to respond. I was afraid to move. To even breathe.

Jack went on, "If Coach Baldwin wasn't so emphatic about keeping you over Brody, you'd be the one going back to the PHL. Make no mistake of that." His expression shifted to a sour one. "But he wants you on the bottom six, and he's not interested in any of your Everett teammates. So for the time being, you're still here."

He sounded exceptionally irritated by this.

I gulped. "Okay. Um." What was I even supposed to say?

"I would suggest," he continued ominously, "that you live up to the expectations of a NAPH player. No fucking up like you did in Vancouver. And no thumbing your nose at authority figures. Am I clear?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Absolutely."

"Good. Get out of my office."

I didn't hesitate. I got the hell out of there, and I speed-walked down the hall until I reached one of the stairwells. There, I stopped and leaned against a cold wall. I tilted my head back, closed my eyes, and took some slow, deep breaths. My heart was going a million miles a minute, and my stomach was somersaulting around the breakfast I was trying hard to keep down.

I'd known from the moment I'd been called up that this was my last chance with the Rainiers. Quite possibly my last chance in the NAPH unless I managed to sign with another team when I hit free agency after next season.

But now the pressure was on. Not only did I have to shine like I never had before, I also couldn't fuck up. I couldn't so much as lose an edge or turn over the puck. I may have been playing on the third line but I had to play as if I was one of the stars on the first.

I had to play like my career depended on it… because it did.

I was on precariously thin ice with Jack Hayes.

There was a chance he knew about the red line I'd crossed. The one I kept crossing and couldn't make myself uncross.

I had to shine tonight and every night going forward. I had to keep impressing Baldwin enough that he stood firm with Jack and refused to have me sent down.

I'd played under pressure before. I could do it again.

Right?

Fuck my life.