Chapter 25

I hated the thought of going back to the flat without Nix. I knew that was the point of the place but I missedSalihaand my newfound family atStormSprint. I was inundated with work in preparation for the release of the investigation, andLucawas not happy about not being able to comment on it, so, with an air kiss sent my mother’s way and a hug to Ben and Griff, I left the next afternoon for my flight. With just enough time to run by the flat, repack a suitcase and get the tube to the airport.

Driving Nix’s new car. Or our new car, as he’d said.

I knew it was moving too fast, I wasn’t delusional. But I couldn’t help but almost squeal at how much he cared.

Fucked. I was fucked.

I needed to take a step back.

Those thoughts running through my mind weren’t exactly helpful when driving the convertible. Imagining any scratch, chip, or even misuse of the clutch, and my panic built, especially considering I would have to drive it in central London to get to the flat.

Not that Nix would care.

Before that though, I had to manoeuvre around the country lanes, avoiding all the forgotten potholes that would never be filled in. To my relief, there was a car before me and behind me, which always put me more at ease when driving down the winding roads, especially with the puddles from all the overnight rain.

They were a relief until, three roundabouts in a row and seven turnings, the car behind me continued to follow.

I couldn’t remember them sneaking up behind me, but they had been following for at least half an hour.

A black sedan.

It was ridiculous to panic, how many black sedans were there in the UK? Thousands and thousands.

But I couldn’t control my heart rate picking up, my mouth becoming dry.

I needed a drink.

I pulled up at the petrol station and they whizzed past.

Maybe I needed to go back on my anxiety medication. It had been a while since I had to take the tablets, but with everything going on, I should start again as a precaution. The panic attacks were becoming more regular.

I filled up the tank, bought a chocolate bar and a cold drink before getting back in the car.

Only minutes later, another black sedan appeared two cars behind me. Every twist and turn of the road, I squinted in myrearviewmirror, trying to see if the registration plate was the same.

“You’re paranoid,” I muttered to myself but still looked behind me around the bend. “SillyLiviebeing silly. Plenty of black cars in the country—”

It had the exact same digits.

Though the fancy car wasn’t sorted with the GPS, it was connected to my phone.

Calling the person furthest away.

“Livid, you okay?” Nix asked. He was eating.

Only an hour ago I had last spoken to him on the phone, telling him I was leaving.

“No,” I said, voice broken. “A car’s following me.”

“Where? What’s the car like?”

“A black sedan,” I told him, his urgent voice making me panic more, a sweat breaking out across my forehead. “I know it’s silly, but—”

“Where?”

“I’m on my way back to the flat, only about half an hour away.”

“Can you see the registration plate?”

I swallowed, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel. “Nix, you don’t really think—”

“Can you?”

I told him what I had been able to see, only for him to sigh in relief.

“What?” I snapped. “What is it?”

“You’re fine, monchérie ,” he said. “That’s only Andrew.”

The person he’d been texting over the weekend.

“Andrew?” I snapped. “Who the hell is Andrew?”

“He’s… just checking you’re okay. I promise you that you are safe. No one will be running you off the road with him around.”

“You got someone to tail me?” I cried. “To follow me home?”

“For your safety,” he emphasised. “I should have told you but I didn’t want to worry you or—”

I pulled up onto the curb, the car behind me beeping as I slammed my foot on the brake.

Sure enough, the car I had been so worried about, pulled up behind me.

“You okay?” Nix’s voice rose with worry.

“No, I’m bloody not!” I cried, voice raising as I slammed my hand on the wheel. “What do you mean, for my safety ?”

What happened to Clara was an accident. Not orchestrated as he believed.

“I just… I get paranoid.” Too right.

“NixonArmas, you tell me right this second or god help me—”

“When I see you. I’ll get a flight out tonight. I’ll —”

“No,” I sighed. “Stay with your mum. I need to get to the airport, but the second you land in Austria, you are answering some fucking questions,Armas.”

For the next three days, I wasantsy, excited and nervous to see him. Then, whenCris’ daughter Everly had asked about his relationship status, I’d tried not to become territorial. It wasn’t her fault, as the woman replacing Clara on the grid, she was just trying to find her footing. What it did, though, was make me more desperate to see him. He didn’t manage to fly in until the morning of qualifying. We only exchanged pleasantries in front of the others and I refused to be alone with him until I could speak to him properly. That night, I waited outside the hotel for the car he’d sent me. He opened the door of hisAirbnbas I went to knock and he swallowed as he saw me. “Livie.”

“Nixon.” I pushed past him into the house, where the smell of garlic and food cooking hit me.

I was such a sucker for garlic bread.

No. No, I would not cave .

So I watched him salt the pasta in the pot and pull out the vegetables as I got my nerve together.

“You had me followed.”

“And Clara,” he said, chopping up the vegetables with more force.

That made even less sense. My brows lowered. “Why?”

He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, placing the knife beside the chopping board. “After she was run off the road… that wouldn’t have happened if she wasn’t with me, would it?”

“It was arandomer, Nix,” I told him, walking to his side and placing my hand on his shoulder. “It wasn’t on purpose. It wasn’t because of you.”

“It is,” he pressed, eyes wide and begging. “It is. I’ve done some really stupid shit and—”

“Are you telling me people are after you? ” The laugh that came from my throat was a harsh sound. “Come on, you haven’t done anything that bad.”

“I just…” He shook his head. “If anything happened to you,Livie…”

I took his face in my hands. “I really value how much you care and worry about me. But one dickhead on the road isn’t enough for you to hire me a bodyguard .”

“It’s just for while we’re in England,” he said. “Because of what happened to Clara. Normally, Andrew is in France with my mum, but he was checking the security of the flat.”

“You need to communicate these things with me, Nix,” I said, warning in my words. “You know that I can go into a panic and… god, I was so close to an attack in that car.”

“I didn’t think you would notice,” he said but his voice broke as he looked down at me with desperation before pulling me to his chest. “Fuck, I never thought — I don’t ever want to cause you to worry. I’m so sorry,Livie.”

“Tell me what you were so worried about,” I demanded, desperate to change the subject. We didn’t need to continue talking about my issues.

He inhaled deeply, his chest rising. “I lied. When I said about my dad… that I didn’t know what he did… I lied. I know too well and I—I was involved.” He started to stroke my back. “Pedro wasn’t the only one shipping drugs.”

His heart was beating erratically and I could feel my own catching up with his.

He sighed in the silence and then continued, “My dad asked me for help on little things. Then bigger things, using those smaller jobs as blackmail. When I joinedStormSprint, I begged him to let me stop. His warning was sending Pedro to prison for my crimes.”

“He framed him?” I gasped.

“Not exactly.” But his words tightened. “The less you know, the better. I should have told you about Andrew. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to panic you while knowing I was panicking myself. Then, when Mum called…”

“It’s fine.”

He pushed the chopping board away. “My dad is dead,” he mumbled.

“What?” I cried, holding onto his arm.

“It’s nothing. If anything, it’s a relief. I just wanted to ensure you were safe while everything with him was sorted.”

“And is it? Is it sorted?”

He nodded slowly.Unsurely. “His business has been passed on to my brother, Jules. Who hates me. I’m out. I think I’m finally out. ”

He held me so tightly that I thought I might faint, but I held him back just as tight.

“I can hire a new manager,” he breathed out. “I can do everything you ask.”

My swallow was painful in my dry throat, suddenly overcome with guilt.

“Not everything,” I warned. “How will we have angry sex still?”

He chuckled into my hair before pressing a kiss into it.

“So,” he said and pulled me back to let me see his cocked brow, “ tuparlesfran?ais.” You speak French.

I tried to fall back into his arms, but he kept me there.

“I do.”

“What have you heard?”

“From you? I’ve only heard you talk to your mum that first day. In the changing rooms. But that all makes sense with what you’ve said.”

“That’s it?” he asked, voice slightly higher than usual.

“Yep. That’s it.”

“I’m going to test your French,” he said and left me to grab his phone from the side of the kitchen. He had a chuffed smile on his return. “Listen to this.”

He pressed play on a clipped recording from a podcast. Two ex-riders in French said, “ What’s going on with Nix? Went out with the team, smiling and laughing in the promo. Got a girlfriend now. Heard he’s looking at buying property in London and Spain too. That’s not the Nix we love to love and hate .”

“ The new girlfriend. It’s got to be the new girlfriend. She’s made him settle a little. Or a lot .”

He pressed pause and looked at me, eagerly awaiting a reply.

“That is good press,” I said. “And I didn’t even arrange it. ”

“Oh no,” he laughed, pocketing the phone. “These bastards chat shit for a living. They don’t do any nice talking if they can help it. But they’re right.”

“They’re right?”

He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me back to him. “It is the new girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?”

“You, obviously. My girlfriend.”