Chapter 18

18

Madeline

The trip home, which should have taken around three hours, ended up taking almost five, thanks to a tractor-trailer wreck we encountered near Elizabethtown. I should have just flown, but I wasn't in the mood for that.

I spent most of the time working. I decided on the new PR team I'll hire and had a call with them. Leigh and I narrowed down my choices for a new manager and she arranged a meeting for tomorrow with the guy I'm interested in working with. We also discussed the fact I need to find a new lawyer because terminating my contract with Darren is likely to be hell and I need legal advice on this as soon as possible. I looked through the properties Leigh has found as possible new homes for me, not really loving any of them. And...I dedicated a great deal of time to thinking about Ethan.

I hated leaving him like I did this morning. It felt too fast and furious for me, and I think he felt the same. I could not have loved it more when he told me he hates one-night stands and that he wasn't happy about me leaving. I've no idea where we'll go from here, or how, but I'm enjoying this bit of happiness in amongst all the turmoil.

Leigh's waiting for me at the hotel where I'll be staying until I figure out my living situation. She gets straight down to business when I walk into my suite.

"Judy's on her way over." My new publicist. "She'll spend the afternoon working with you on a plan for damage control, social media strategy and management, media relations, and campaign planning. She'll drive to and from the record label meeting with us so we can maximize the afternoon." She consults her phone before continuing. "I've got the name of five lawyers for you to consider. If we can choose one now, I'll push for an appointment late this afternoon or tonight."

I collapse onto the sofa, needing a minute to catch my breath.

Leigh gives me two seconds only. "Tucker has hit back, Maddie. We don't have time to waste on this."

"What was his response?"

"He said you're lying about everything and that he's devastated you've done this to him after he loved you so well."

I stare at her with disbelief. "You're joking, right?"

Her lips press together as she shakes her head. "No."

"I fucking hate that asshole." I put my fingers to my temple as a headache makes threats I really don't want it to follow through on.

"You and me both, but sitting here ranting about him won't fix the situation." Leigh is nothing if not efficient and businesslike. I've always valued those traits in her, but today, I could do with a little less of being managed. I'm tired after not much sleep last night, and it's affecting my ability to process everything as fast as she would like me to.

"Okay, give me a minute to freshen up and then we can go over the list of lawyers."

She approves of this, and I leave her to go into the bathroom, where I shut the door and slide down it to sit on the tiled floor. The coolness of the tiles is what I'm searching for, along with the quiet hum of the bathroom.

I close my eyes and do some box breathing to help calm my overloaded system. While I do this, I try to shut off my thoughts, focusing on the sound of the ventilation system in the bathroom. The continuous whir always helps me in times like this but today I'm unable to rely on it. There's too much noise in my head. Too much uncertainty to be able to switch it all off.

"Shit," I whisper as I open my eyes and exhale a breath. Leigh's right: sitting around ranting about my problems isn't going to fix them. I started this when I ran out on Tucker, and now I have to finish it.

I push up off the ground and splash cold water on my face while staring at myself in the mirror. I look tired and stressed, and I refuse to let my record label see me like this, so I get to work fixing my face and finding something to wear that screams I've got this under control.

Fifteen minutes later, I emerge from the bedroom ready to tackle the rest of this day. I find my new publicist sitting with Leigh on the sofa, deep in conversation. They stop talking when they hear me. Judy smiles and stands. Leigh narrows her eyes at me like she's trying to decide my state of my mind.

"Hi." I extend a hand to Judy. "Thanks for making time on such short notice."

Judy's grip is firm, and she exudes an air of confidence and control, which I find highly reassuring. "I'm glad to meet you, Madeline. I've been a fan for a while and that statement you made last night reminded me why."

I did not expect that, and it stuns me into silence for a moment before I find my voice again. "Thank you. I appreciate you saying that."

She smiles knowingly. "I imagine it's been a rough few days."

"You could say that. All my own doing, though."

Her brows furrow. "That's inaccurate. You may have chosen to end a very public relationship, but you didn't choose the social media nonsense that's occurred. If I could get my clients to believe one thing, it'd be that while they chose their line of work, they didn't agree to the bullshit that goes with it."

I've never thought of it like that, and I appreciate her saying that, too.

She indicates to the table in the corner of the suite. "Let's start by getting to know each other a little and then I'll take you through my ideas for managing this crisis and redirecting your brand. And let me just say before we begin that the response you've had to your post last night shows that we're starting from a solid foundation." She pauses and eyes me like she wants to ensure I'm listening. "Tucker might be out there calling you a liar, but your get-loud hashtag is trending on all platforms. You've struck a chord, and I don't think your fans are going anywhere."

I've avoided my post all day, not sure I was ready for any nastiness I might read in the comments. The relief I feel at this news is immense and helps get me in the right mindset for our conversation.

We spend half an hour talking about how she plans to help me shift my brand away from Tucker's and manage the negative publicity I'm currently facing. I'm impressed with everything she suggests, and I can tell that Leigh is too. By the time we leave for the meeting with my label, I'm feeling a lot more confident about everything and hopeful about my future in this industry.

"Never have I ever been so appalled by the misogyny of this fucking industry," Leigh rages as we push our way through the door of my record label's building and walk out into the sunshine that feels a lot warmer than I do after the meeting I've just had.

I think I'm in shock. Not that I know what that feels like. But if it involves clammy skin, nausea, a racing heart, and a faint feeling, then I'm definitely in shock.

"Surely, they can't do that," Leigh continues her tirade.

I'm going to vomit.

That's all I'm sure of right now.

"Right?" Leigh stops and inspects me. "Shit, are you okay?"

I claw at the top buttons of my blouse that aren't letting me breathe.

"Fuck," Leigh curses as the sun blinds me and I stumble. Her hand cradles my elbow, and she guides me to the park bench on the grass near us. Once I'm sitting, she shoves a bottle of water in my face. "Drink this. You are not puking on my watch."

I push the bottle away and lurch in the opposite direction of her just in time, hurling over the grass instead of her lap.

She thrusts a tissue at me, and I wipe my mouth while my stomach settles. When I'm sure I'm not going to vomit again, I turn back to her. "I think they can do whatever they want, and they just did."

"But you have a contract that I imagine is ironclad and states they can't terminate you based on that bullshit they just spewed at you."

"It clearly isn't that ironclad. They wouldn't terminate me if it was." And god, why do I not know this information? Past Madeline has a lot to answer for.

The record label execs cited a variety of reasons for terminating my contract but mostly they relied on a morality clause, saying that my recent behavior is unacceptable and damaging to the label's reputation. Read: Tucker, their number one artist, demanded they fire me.

I am so fucking angry at him. I thought he might do something like this, and truth be told, it's probably why I took six months to leave him and ruin all the business plans he and Darren built around our relationship. Fear of him trying to cancel me by throwing his power around in this way kept me engaged to him.

Having to listen to those men today tell me that women need to tread carefully in this business so as not to ruin all the hard work their team put into cultivating their brand has pissed me the hell off. Why should women have to tread carefully? Why does Tucker get to go out there and do whatever he wants, but I don't get to do the same?

Aaaargh!!!

Unable to hold in the fury grinding in my chest for a second longer, I throw my head back, open my mouth, and scream.

It's long.

It's loud.

And damn it feels good to get it all out.

Fuck those people who want to keep me down.

Fuck. Them.

I'm a Miller and we don't stay down. We stand the hell up and handle our business, and we don't ever give up.

Ethan was right when he told me I'm not powerless. Tucker can screw with my career as much as he wants but I have so many resources I can tap into.

The only person who can stop me is me.

"Wow." Leigh stares at me when I finish screaming, eyes wide, mouth open. "That was...unexpected."

I shake out my arms, every inch of my skin buzzing. "You should probably expect more of that."

She blinks. "Right. Good to know, but I'd like to suggest we maybe keep that kind of outburst to private spaces only." She motions at all the people staring at us. "God knows who just filmed that."

"Let them film. I'm holding my head high now. The only things I've done wrong in all of this have been not listening to myself, allowing people to make decisions for me, and not paying attention to the details. Lesson fucking learned." I take a deep breath. "I'm not burying my head in the sand anymore, Leigh. I'm taking charge and we're not fucking going down."

With that, I stride toward the car, my shoulders pushed back. If Tucker wants a fight, I'll damn well give him one.