30. Daisy

THIRTY

DAISY

There were no texts.

No calls.

His name didn't come up again on my phone.

Mine didn't come up on his anymore.

And even if it did, I knew he wouldn't respond. I had tried, but they never went through.

I was told that every day gets easier until one day I will wake up and it won't hurt.

But when you make a million mistakes, that doesn't happen.

It was always what-if. A thousand what-ifs that made me lie down each night and wonder: if I had done one thing different, would that mean I would be at his apartment tonight instead of my dorm?

If I would be spending every night with him.

I knew I loved Kye, but each day that passed without him, I was only loving him more.

That wasn't what was supposed to happen.

It was supposed to get better, but every day got worse. A pain that kept burrowing deeper into my bones until it took over. Until all I could feel was the pain of being ripped apart.

And just like the hundred other nights before tonight, I grabbed his shirt I wore the first night I stayed with him.

And I lay down.

And I cried until I was forced to sleep.

Until my body had no other choice but to give up for the day.

And I knew tomorrow would be the same.

And every night after that.