Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

NOVA

Carter had been trying to call me for two days, but since the kids hadn’t been nearby any of the times he called, I hadn’t answered the phone. Until I knew, without a shadow of doubt, I could speak to him without letting my emotions get the better of me, I didn’t think it was wise to answer. If Ben or Alice had been around, I would have handed the phone off to them. Even then, I was tired of jumping to attention every time he deigned to reach out, only for their conversations to last five minutes or less. He always had some excuse, some reason he needed to run, that got him off the phone fairly quickly.

So now, when I was carrying two dozen bridal shower cookies up the porch steps of the Fletcher Homestead—Tucker’s parents’ house—and my phone rang, I ignored it without hesitation. My kids were at the diner with Gigi. She’d offered to pay them in ice cream to help her roll silverware in napkins and secure it with the paper sticker things, and they had eagerly accepted. I was sure she only came up with the plan to give me a free morning for the shower. I didn’t intend to remain long.

“Hi!” June said, opening the door for me. Her cheeks were flushed and her blonde hair long and wild, the corkscrew curls bouncing over her shoulders. “Thanks for coming early.”

“It’s no problem.” I stepped into a stunning, worn-in farmhouse that made me want to consider a cowboy someday when I remarried. If I ever remarried. I wasn’t sure there was a man out there I would trust to help raise my children. They already had one absent dad.

Dusty flashed through my mind. I hadn’t seen him all week, since he’d had work and missed Ben’s practices, but we had texted a few times. He was becoming the person who made my stomach flutter when I saw his name pop up on my screen, which felt all sorts of dangerous.

“You can bring those into the kitchen,” June said.

I lifted the gift bag in my other hand. “This is from Gigi. She had to work, but she sends her love.”

June smiled. “That was kind of her.” She showed me to the table for refreshments and the tiered tray she’d set aside for cookies. I opened the lid on the large Tupperware and started placing them on her tray. June stood beside me and clapped her hands together. “I love them so much! The flowers are perfect . You did all this detail yourself?”

“I’ve always liked drawing, so it wasn’t hard,” I said, brushing the praise away. Inside I was glowing. Carter’s voice in the back of my head was loud, calling my cookies quaint, with that edge of superiority proving how little he thought of my efforts. It was hard not to notice that they were finally being appreciated by someone in a tiny town in a flipping farmhouse. Didn’t that scream quaint? Was Carter right all along?

An older woman—old enough to be June’s mom—bustled into the kitchen. Her short blonde hair was styled perfectly and sprayed into submission, and her smile was kind.

“This is Jan, my soon-to-be mother-in-law,” June said, then gestured to me. “Nova Walker, Gigi’s niece. I told you about the cookies. ”

Jan smiled widely, the lines on the sides of her mouth well-creased from being so happy, or so she appeared. “Welcome, Nova. We’re so glad—oh my lanta, you made these?” She leaned over my arm to inspect the cookies—sunflowers and badges that said bride in cursive with two rings linked together. She squeezed my arm, sucking in a gasp. “These are incredible.”

“Thank you.” My cheeks warmed from the praise. I shouldn’t love it, but it felt nice to be appreciated.

The back door swung shut and Tucker appeared, carrying a small table. “Howdy, Nova,” he said, dipping his head to me. He looked at his mom. “Where do you want this?”

“Next to the fireplace. We’re putting gifts on it.”

He left to deliver the table.

The front door shut loudly and a woman walked in the kitchen a moment later with a computer under one arm. She wore a collared shirt beneath her blue sweater and wide-legged chinos, her mid-length brown hair brushing her shoulders.

June rushed over to give her a hug. “Lauren! Have you met Nova? She just moved here with her two kids from New York.”

“Another transplant,” Lauren said, offering me a hand to shake. Her smile was wide. “You’re Gigi’s niece, right? We love her.”

“She’s pretty great,” I agreed.

“Lauren is married to Jack,” June explained.

The pieces were fitting together now. “Oh, he’s helped move furniture for me.”

“He’s pretty great, too,” Lauren said. “How are you settling in? I grew up in Dallas, but even that’s a world apart from small town Texas. This is a very unique place.”

“By unique, she’s calling us quaint,” Jan said from the stove, where she leaned down to peer into the oven.

“Which isn’t a bad word,” Lauren said defensively. “I don’t know why everyone thinks it’s bad.”

I certainly did, but I could tell by the affectionate banter between Lauren and Jan that it was a well-meant tease and not a slight. Carter used to brandish the word like a sword meant to put me in my place. Here, it was an appreciation of the vibe.

I missed my apartment in New York and the little things I had done to make it feel homey. But this house? It was homey without even trying. It was comfortable and organized. Everything had character. I could see myself loving a place like this, lining up the kids’ lunchboxes on the counter with muddy rain boots waiting by the back door and a smattering of homework papers on the table. I could see a Christmas tree looking content next to the fireplace or watching the sunset from the porch swing.

It was a strange moment to grow a dream, but I felt one plant a seed and sprout as I looked around the house.

Of course, on my salary, even with Carter’s measly assistance, I could never afford a house like this. That didn’t mean I had to settle, either. It was good having something to dream about.

My phone rang, and I pulled it out to see Carter calling again. A wave of weariness blew through me, and I wanted more than anything for him to stop. Which meant I needed to see what was so urgent that he couldn’t just text me. “I’m sorry. I need to take this.”

June brushed away my apology, and I let myself out the back door in the kitchen before I accepted the call.

“Hello?”

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you.” The expectation in his tone set me on edge, but I put aside my frustrations and breathed, waiting for him to continue. “I need to speak to the kids.”

“They aren’t with me right now.”

“Why not?”

“I’m at a bridal shower, so they’re hanging out with Gigi at the diner.” Did I need to explain myself? No. Were they his children, so he had a right to know who was watching them? Yes.

“Is that a good idea?” he asked, taking me by surprise.

“Obviously, I didn’t think it was a bad one.”

There was silence while Carter digested this. It wasn’t like me to snap at him, and I needed to rein it in. Fighting over the phone helped no one.

I tried for a calmer tone. “You called a few times, which felt kind of urgent, Carter. Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” he said curtly. “We need to discuss which two weeks I can take the kids over the summer.”

My stomach clenched. “Can we get through the rest of the school year first? We just got here.”

He made a sound like he was going to argue with me. I was proud we’d made it this long on the phone without me mentioning the woman who had moved in with him. I was almost certain that was why he’d called anyway. He’d checked his stories, knew I’d seen the picture of her moving in, and wanted to really drive it home—pat himself on the back for being the first to move on.

The man’s a lawyer. Everything with him was a trophy to be won.

Carter sighed. “Listen, Nova. We need to ta?—”

“Well, isn’t that a sight for sore eyes,” a male voice boomed behind me.

I swiveled to see Dusty coming my way on the porch, holding a five-gallon bucket full of sunflowers. His honey-colored eyes sparkled in the mid-morning sun. A lock of his dark hair fell over his forehead, making me want to brush it back, my fingers dragging along his scalp. He lowered the bucket onto the deck before realizing I was on the phone.

“Who is that?” Carter asked, a tinny quality to his voice.

Dusty mouthed, “Sorry,” cringing.

I shook my head. Someone lived with Carter. He didn’t have a right to ask questions about my life, anyway. “I’m at a bridal shower, remember?”

“It’s the groom?”

“No.” I opened my mouth to tell him it was the groom’s best friend, but something stopped me. I didn’t want to share anything with him about this. He didn’t deserve to have a window into my life. I would tell him what was going on with the kids and we could talk every day about their schedules and homework and tummy aches or whatever else was going on, but he’d forfeited the right to know anything about me when he left me.

“Nova—”

“I need to get back inside,” I said.

Carter huffed. I could hear the pacing, visualize him running his hand through his dark gold hair like he did when he was missing something in a case and might possibly lose. He wasn’t used to this—the Nova he knew would relent, give in, tell him what he wanted to hear to keep the peace. “What’s going on with you? I don’t think I like what Texas is doing to you.”

I swallowed a scoff, suppressing it deep down. I wanted to snap back, to remind him I was here because he didn’t love me anymore. That I’d had to pick up and move halfway across the country because I had nowhere else to live. That he had inadvertently forced me into this. But instead, I tried for a pleasant smile so he wouldn’t be able to hear how angry I was. “You lost the right to ask me anything like that when you walked out, Carter. I need to get back inside. If you want to talk to the kids, I can have them call you later tonight.”

“I won’t be home,” he snapped, likely hoping to hurt me. The reason he’d go out on a Saturday night was to take out a woman, right? Or so he wanted me to assume.

“Okay, another time then. Let me know when you’re free and we’ll try to accommodate your schedule.”

“Fine. ”

I hung up the phone without saying anything more, my one act of rebellion. But when silence hung around me, filling the cracks, an acute sense of loneliness swept over me. I could hear the muffled voices inside and tires crunching gravel in front of the house, probably more guests arriving. I dropped my face into my hands and breathed.

“You okay?” Dusty asked behind me.

I dropped my hands. “I thought you’d left.”

He was standing in the same place, the bucket of flowers still at his feet. His mouth bent into a lopsided smile. “I wanted to make sure you were all right.”

Warmth spread slowly through me, and I found myself smiling. “Why are you here, anyway?”

“Just got off work this morning and came to help set up.” He shrugged. “I’m heading to Tucker’s place with him to practice roping once y’all get this party started.”

“Roping?”

“Don’t tell me you’re unfamiliar with it.” He tilted his head to the side. “You ever been to a rodeo?”

“Can’t say they have many of those in the East.”

Dusty grinned widely. “You’re in for a treat, little lady. I have a feeling Alice is going to like watching cowboys try to ride bulls.”

“Alice? Why?”

“It’s basically an acrobatic demonstration. Sometimes we get a local girl to trick ride the horse while she brings in the American flag. It’s pretty good fun.”

“Sounds like an adventure.”

“Just wait until this summer.” He walked closer, taking slow steps and stopping right in front of me. “We’re going to sweat buckets, get us some stale nachos, and have the time of our lives.”

How could he make that sound utterly divine?

“I’d like that,” I said, and found I meant it .

Dusty bent his neck, his thumb brushing my chin. His eyes lingered there, his finger swiping over the curve of my bottom lip before his hand dropped to his side. “I like it much better when you smile.”

My skin tingled where he’d touched, and a flush stemming from awareness creeped up my cheeks. I wanted him to do it again, which was terrifying. I couldn’t pursue a relationship. Not this soon out of a ten-year marriage.

No, that excuse no longer held. But my kids hadn’t changed, and I wasn’t going to bring another man into their life so soon on a romantic level. He was amazing, but committing to me wasn’t the same thing as committing to all three of us. Hanging out and teasing them was the easy part. It would take a long time for me to feel ready to take that leap. We could remain friends, but that was the extent of it. Anything else was too risky.

Only, the way he looked down at me now, the glitter in his gaze as it darted between my eyes and my lips, made molten lava pool in my belly. I remembered what it felt like to be wanted, back when Carter only had eyes for me.

It had been a few years since then. Now I was the Sahara Desert. Dusty was either a cold glass of water or a mirage. Probably the former, but it was too soon to know.

“I better get back inside,” I said, but my voice sounded raspy.

He nodded. “Can I see you later tonight?”

“I’m making spaghetti with the kids.”

Dusty’s eyes narrowed. “That sounds like an excuse.”

“It’s not. Well—it is, but it’s not a lie. I’ve been promising them all week. Alice plans to make hers purple.”

“You sure? When I want to get out of something, I tell people I need to go home and feed my cat. She has a self-feeder though, and anyone who knows me understands it’s a gentle way to let someone down.”

My heart started racing. “I’m not trying to let you down. We make spaghetti occasionally, and Alice has been begging me all week. I would invite you, but we’re doing it at Gigi’s.”

“Say no more.” He gave me a lopsided smile. “I want proof of that purple pasta later or I’m going to assume this is a gentle let down.”

“Have I been gentle yet?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No.” He gave my face a quick sweep. “You haven’t.”

Something about our conversation had shifted. The feeling between us in general was different. It was warm and comfortable, like fresh spring sunlight, and I wanted to stretch out in front of it and soak in the rays.

“I’ll let you go,” he said quietly, but he made no move to leave.

“Okay. Have fun playing with rope.”

Dusty rolled his eyes, but his smile stretched so wide, it only made the action look boyish.

I turned towards the door to go back to the kitchen and found a woman watching us through the window. Gracie Mae, if I was correct. She leaned against the wall inside, chatting with June, but her eyes were on us.

Dusty swore.

“Your girlfriend?” I asked. She didn’t look happy.

“She tried to be,” he muttered. “I don’t know how to be more blunt than I’ve been, but she’s pretty persistent.”

I felt bad for them. It sounded like an all around uncomfortable situation. “She’s June’s maid of honor, right?” I’d seen them having wedding meetings more than once.

“Yeah, they’ve been good friends for a long time. She’s Tucker’s cousin, too.”

I nodded. Gracie Mae didn’t feel like competition—I wasn’t competing for Dusty, first off—but I still couldn’t help but compare myself to her. She looked younger than me, her skin perfect, her smile flawless. I dragged my gaze to Dusty. “How old are you? ”

“Twenty-eight.”

Wow. I was crushing on a baby. This would go a long way towards dousing the flame of my inappropriate feelings for him.

“What?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. “You didn’t like that answer.”

“It doesn’t matter. It just made me feel ancient.”

“Why? You can’t be more than…” He looked like he was doing math. “Actually, my grandpa taught me never to guess a woman’s age. I’m assuming you were pretty young when you had Ben.”

“I turned thirty-one at the beginning of the year. So yes, I’m ancient.”

“Hey, we still would have gone to high school at the same time.”

I laughed, moving toward the door and wanting to end this conversation. I caught Gracie Mae’s eye through the window and looked away quickly, actively choosing not to compare her luscious blonde hair to my own. I was four or five years and two babies older than her, after all.

Let’s be real. I was a mom. I was frumpy. My hair was almost never down because I couldn’t be bothered to style it. I loved my crew neck sweaters and worn-in jeans more than anything else, and my feet just couldn’t handle shoes without support for extended periods of time anymore.

He was young and handsome and a hometown hero. He could have anyone. Dusty definitely wasn’t looking at me the same way I was looking at him. I shot him a bright smile. “See you around!” I disappeared inside.