Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

DUSTY

Stop flirting . Stop. It. If I commanded myself enough times, would it work? In an effort to be myself, I kept saying things that could be misconstrued. Really, it was no surprise Nova thought I was coming on to her when we’d first met last month.

I wasn’t trying to. I just liked her and her kids and wanted to make them smile.

Okay, so maybe I was flirting a little. But I was trying my darndest not to.

By the time we finished eating, it was getting late. Way past the kids’ bedtimes, I was guessing. Alice had chatted through dinner—well, she spoke a few times, which I thought was the equivalent to her being a chatterbox—and now her eyes were getting droopy.

“Let’s get that bed assembled, then worry about putting this away,” I suggested, rising from the table.

Nova looked from me to her kids. I could tell she didn’t like the idea of leaving a mess. She glanced at the clock and seemed to like delaying her kids’ bedtime even less. “That would be great.”

The kids’ room was cluttered with screws and washers and pieces of wood. Their mattresses were shoved vertically along the wall, with a pine structure mostly put together in the center of the room. A second bed frame was on the floor, taking up the remaining space. We oriented ourselves with the final few steps of the bed, then took our positions and prepared to lift.

It wasn’t very heavy by itself, but the size and shape made it impossible for one person to lift and hold it in place. I was impressed with how much Nova had done on her own before she’d reached the desperation point, especially when I imagined how difficult it was for her to ask anyone for anything. If she couldn’t let her own aunt buy her a sofa, she was the worst kind of stubborn.

“Do you have it?” she asked, her arms lifted to hold her side in place.

The bed felt secure. “Yeah. You can let go.”

Nova did so slowly, then hurried to retrieve the screws and washers and things she needed to fasten the rest of the bed together. It took less than fifteen minutes. She worked fast and knew exactly what to do. We each took different ends of the mattresses and slid them into place, then Nova bent and made the beds with what looked like clean sheets.

Once the whole room was finished, we stood near the doorway, shoulder to shoulder, and looked at the sturdy pine bunk bed.

“Well done, Nova.”

There was a hitch in her breathing. “I didn’t do it by myself.”

“No, but you did most of it.” She was silent, so I looked at her. She was tall enough that I didn’t have to crane my neck down to hold her gaze, which I loved. “You do know there are no special gold stars for people who get it done alone, right? No one hands out awards for running yourself into the ground.”

She looked up at me, her brown eyes surprised and wide.

“I know from experience,” I explained. “It’s not worth trying to win that race. ”

“Your metaphors are mixing.”

“You still know what I mean,” I challenged.

I took Nova’s lack of response to mean that she knew exactly what I meant. When I’d called earlier, her voice had sounded so high and strange, I’d wondered if she’d been crying. Now, noting the tired red rim to her eyes and the weariness to her mouth, I was positive. It made me want to pull her in for a long, tight hug, but I knew my limits. That was definitely pushing boundaries.

“My kids need to get to bed.”

“Say no more. I’ll just get my taco stuff together and get out of your hair.”

Nova gave me a tired smile. “Dinner and construction help. I owe you triple now.”

“You owe me nothing, Nova,” I said, and it came out so serious, she grew still. “This is what friends do for each other. Sheesh,” I added, trying to lighten the tone. “It makes me wonder what kind of people come out of New York.”

“There are plenty of excellent people from New York.” She started toward the hallway. “Like me.”

I laughed, not expecting that.

Nova disappeared into her room. “Who wants to see your new bed?”

Squeals and shouts preceded the stampede as the kids ran to their room. They were utterly delighted, which warmed my chest. If I was happy about it, their mom was likely ecstatic. I heard her telling them to get ready for bed, so I started clearing the table and bagging up the food I’d brought in foil dishes. Nova helped Alice brush her teeth, then got both kids squared away in their pajamas and tucked into bed while I put away the condiments. I could hear Nova reading to them, so I started the dishes. She didn’t have a dishwasher, but I’d grown up without one, so I was pretty good at cleaning dishes.

“You don’t need to do that,” Nova said from the hallway .

I looked up from where my arms were plunging into sudsy water, scrubbing at a plate. “It’s really not a problem.”

She looked like she wanted to say more, but instead, she walked toward me. My heart rate increased, but Nova only picked up a clean dish towel and started to dry the ones I’d already washed, then put them away.

“We saw Brody at the bookstore today picking up things for the auction,” she said. “Do you have a good amount of donations?”

“Quite a few. I won’t turn down another one, if you have something in mind.”

Her eyes flashed to me. “I don’t have anything to donate.”

“You’re kidding, right?” I lifted my eyebrows but kept my attention on the dishes. “People would pay a pretty penny for a plate of those berry bars you made. I’ve heard about them from a handful of different people.”

“Seriously?” She looked suspicious.

“Or your cookies. June mentioned you’re making them for her party. I bet you’ll have a lot of interest after that.”

“I don’t know if I really have time for more orders, but I’m happy to help June out.”

“It was nice of you to agree to it.”

We were silent for a minute before she spoke again. “I could do a dozen for the auction, but I don’t expect they’ll bring much money in.”

“You don’t have to,” I said, handing her the last plate. I pulled the plug to let the water drain.

“I know.” She dried it and stacked it with the rest of her plates. “I really don’t mind. The cookies freeze well, so I’ll just make a few more when I do June’s.”

“If you’re sure.”

“Consider it repayment.”

Something about that felt a little weird to me. I picked up my bag of food and walked toward the door. She must have sensed my reaction because she followed me, holding the handle when I stepped outside. “You really don’t owe me anything, Nova. You don’t have to repay me. If you feel like you have to do this, then I don’t want the cookies. I’m not trying to guilt anyone into helping.”

She cringed. “I shouldn’t have said it like that. I really am happy to help.”

My eyebrows shot up. “So you can feel that way, but I can’t?”

Nova chewed on her bottom lip, watching me. She glanced over her shoulder before following me out onto the porch. Testing the handle, she made sure it was unlocked before pulling the door closed, likely so the kids wouldn’t overhear whatever she was about to say.

“I’m kind of in a weird position.” She looked at me, the orange porch light from one of the houses across the street glowing in her eyes. “I’ve been acting like a single parent for the last few years, even though I had a husband. But he was still there, and when I had things come up like this bed or the stupid jar I can’t get open, I could wait until he’d come home and help me out. Now that I’m actually a single parent and I don’t have a husband around, it just feels…I don’t know, like I’m supposed to be able to do it on my own? That if I can’t, it proves I still need Carter?”

This was the most personal Nova had become with me, and I really didn’t want to say anything stupid and mess it up. “You don’t want him to win,” I guessed. It made sense, and it explained why she thought everything needed to be tit for tat. Why she would only agree to make the cookies if she thought she was paying me back for all I’d done for her. She couldn’t see how strong and resilient she looked from the outside.

Nova’s shoulders relaxed. “Something like that. Right now, he’s totally winning.”

My stomach tightened. That didn’t sound good. Did this have something to do with why she had been crying earlier? “Right.” I nodded slowly. “He got all the furniture.”

She gave a watery chuckle.

“The way I see it, you’re way ahead. You got the kids, and they’re both pretty rad.”

She peered at me. “Do people even say rad anymore?”

“I just did. You also got all this open space and clear air.” I gestured to the world around us. “And, not to brag, but it seems like you got a pretty great sofa, too.”

She leaned back against the door and looked out at the dark sky. “It is pretty out here. You don’t see this many stars in Manhattan.” Her gaze slid to me. “I know you’re just being nice, but thank you. Ben really loves being on the football team. I think it’s giving him a place to be included, to get involved. Alice never talks to anyone, so you’re clearly a hit with both of them.”

My chest warmed at this praise. Hearing from Nova that her kids liked me was almost as good as gaining the respect and admiration of a cat—hard won. “Like I said, they’re pretty rad. I can’t believe Alice willingly told me all about Peaches at dinner.”

Nova looked at the stars as she talked. “She got that monkey on a day out with Carter. He took the kids so I could go to the hospital when my sister-in-law went into labor. My brother was out of town and the baby was early and…anyway, long story, but Alice got the monkey that day. It was probably the only time Carter had the kids without me for a twenty-four hour period, and they soaked it up to their bones. That monkey is a bonafide member of the family now, it’s so important to her.”

“I can see why. She probably connects it to her dad, whether it’s subconscious or deliberate.”

“Probably,” she agreed lightly. “And he’s so…I could just wring his neck. There is nothing so painful as watching your kids wait while the phone rings or the call gets rejected day after da y. He’s supposed to get them for two weeks in the summer as part of our divorce agreement, but I’m scared to send them. Especially not now that—” She pulled up short, her eyes darting to me and away.

Curiosity burned in my gut. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to share.”

She groaned, sitting on the top step of the staircase leading down to the street.

I moved to sit beside her, putting the paper bag of food behind me.

Her head in her hands, her voice came out muffled. “His girlfriend just moved in with him. I think it’s a girlfriend. I don’t actually know anything.”

My body froze. “I’m sorry, Nova.”

She looked up. “I don’t really care. I shouldn’t, at least, but it feels weird. This strange girl is in my house, sitting on my chair, using my pots and pans to cook for my husb— ex . My ex-husband. Until a few days ago, the only thing I had to sit on were bar stools or a blow up mattress. I shouldn’t be angry at him, but I am. And I don’t even know how to navigate introducing my children to this woman I’ve never met or trust them in a house with her at some point in the future.”

Wow. I couldn’t even begin to understand the difficulty she faced. I wanted to pull her into my arms and soothe her stress, but that wouldn’t make the situation go away or help her figure out what needed to be done.

“Then there’s part of me that knows Carter has way more money than he needs, and he should be paying much higher child support since I have the kids ninety-five percent of the time. Now that I’m out of the divorce haze, I can see he swindled me in the proceedings somehow. He’s a lawyer. I thought keeping it out of the courts and settling on our own would be healthier for all involved. I feel like an idiot.”

“You aren’t, so you can put that thought away.” My blood hummed angrily, but I shoved the fury down. It wasn’t what she needed. “He preyed on your grief.”

“He did,” she agreed, turning her head to look at me, though it still rested in her hands. She gave me a self-deprecating smile. “It’s no wonder I’m so screwed up.”

“That’s not how I’d describe you,” I said, pushing down the urge to drive straight to Manhattan, find Carter Walker, and punch him in the face three times—once for each of them. “I see a reliable, steady mom who’s working hard to put together a home for her kids, who has provided them with a safe place and a lot of love. When it comes to basic needs—the things we actually need —you have it covered, Nova. Your kids are loved. They aren’t suffering.”

The orange porch lights from across the street shone on the tears rolling down her cheeks. “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that.”

My entire body clenched, my muscles tight, struggling as I refrained from pulling her close. “I’ll remind you anytime you want.”

“Thanks,” she breathed, dashing away the tears. She reached to scratch her arm, then glanced down and groaned.

“What is it?”

“My hives are back. I think I need to delete social media.”

“Then do it.”

She laughed. “And miss all the pictures of my nephews? No, thanks.”

Okay, that was a fair point.

“I should probably go take some medication before it gets worse,” she said, but she didn’t stand. She sat there looking at me, and the line of connection running between us felt as taut as my clenched fists.

I relaxed my hands, with great effort. “You mentioned a jar you can’t get open. Do you want me to try? ”

“No, that’s okay.” She smiled. “It’s just jam, so I bought a squeeze tube to use instead.”

I laughed. “See what I mean? Resourceful.”

Her face softened while she peered at me. “Did Gigi put you up to this?” she asked, rising to her feet. “Place you in my path to make me forget about Carter?”

My chest hummed. I made her forget about her ex? That seemed huge, so I did my best not to let her see how it affected me. “The opposite. When she heard you were coming a few months ago, she made me promise to stay away.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. “Because I’m trouble, I guess.”

Nova laughed, shaking her head. “You’re a flirt, anyone can see you’re harmless.”

“Harmless?” I very much wanted to prove her wrong. I took a half step closer, making her step back until she was flush with the siding on the apartment building. I held her gaze, watching her eyes widen, her throat working a swallow. I kept some distance between us. She could turn and walk away if she wanted. A slow smile spread over my lips.

“Yes.” Her tongue darted out to lick her lips. “I stand by what I said.”

Tension filled the space between us. My chest rose and fell rapidly, my gaze glued to her lips. She could see through me, and I didn’t know how I felt about that. But I could sense her breathing hastening too, and it was a relief to know I wasn’t alone in how I felt. Which meant I needed to leave.

My mouth flicked up in a smile. “Have a good night, Nova.” Then I turned and walked away. When I got to my truck, she was still standing next to her door, watching me. I waited until she went inside before driving away.

Man, I was such a goner for this girl.