17. Raegan

Chapter seventeen

Raegan

I make it through two days without seeing anyone. Well, for the most part. I sneak into the kitchen for the replenished bowl of strawberries and sandwiches and smuggle them back to my room while everyone is asleep, then lock my door and close the curtains.

Kellan comes knocking first about our training session, but I’d only just woken up after falling asleep with Jackson, and I was not in the mood. I tell him I’m out of commission for girl reasons. He promises light exercises instead, but I snap at him to leave me alone, and he thankfully gets the hint.

Dane tries next, saying he wants to talk to me. He is the exact person I’m hiding from right now, so I tell him I don’t feel well. Thankfully, he doesn’t push it and leaves without a fuss like Kell.

Aiden comes the next day and even unlocks my door to peek inside. As if he thinks I have a recording or something in here. I chuck a book at him and yell at him to get out.

Kellan tries again, and through sheer force of my will over his, I get him to leave me alone .

It seems like they have no idea why I’m hiding, which means Dane hasn’t said anything to them yet, but I’m too scared to test it. I’m too ashamed to face Dane and see the look on his face. I’m not even sure what I’m imagining. Disgust? Fear? Loathing?

Maybe a combination of all of it.

Whatever it is, I don’t want to see it. Over the last month, I’ve worked hard for the begrudging acceptance from Dane. He still doesn’t trust me, or believe me, or… like me, but he isn’t going out of his way to be a dick to me either. If anything, he’s quiet around me. Observant. Like he’s measuring my every action and word against his previous vision of me.

Once he tells the others, and I know he will, then I won’t be able to look any of them in the eye. It’d be better to skip out now before that happens. Then I can still remember the good times before it all went to hell. I can remember the way Kellan looked at me, teased me, and made me feel like I was strong. A fighter.

I don’t think I can keep them back another day, or if I’ll have the answer on what to do by tomorrow.

So, I do what I do best, and I run.

I stuff my backpack with as many clothes as I can fit. It’s the middle of the night now, so I open my window and gently drop my backpack first, then carefully crawl out and hop down.

I creep out of the yard and down the drive, then relax once I’m on the road.

I walk toward the city while working on a plan as I go. I’m not sure if I’m ready to leave this city yet, not when all the GE activity is happening here. I tell myself it’s not out of fear of Dane being taken and wanting to be close by, just in case. This city is just a hotspot right now.

Next is where I’m going to live. I could check for any hostels in the city and, if not, see if the bar owner where I work owns the apartments above it or knows who does. It’s backward from how I usually barter, where I trade my off-the-books employment for the room. He’s already getting that, so I’m not sure what else I could offer him. I can’t give away my tips since that’s my only income.

I hear a car motor behind me and dash behind the nearest tree. It slows and then stops on the road right where I was.

“Why are you hiding?” Aiden calls out.

Shit. He obviously saw me, so I step around the tree. “I didn’t realize it was you,” I answer with confidence I don’t feel. GE is still looking for me, even if the cops aren’t, so it should be a satisfactory response. He doesn’t look convinced.

“Well, it’s me. Come here.”

I sigh and step closer to the door. He eyes my backpack, and I subconsciously shift it further over my shoulder and behind me.

“Where are you going?” he croons in his velvety tone that spells trouble.

I shrug nonchalantly. “To work.” I lift the arm of the backpack. “This is for my disguise.” He stares at me, and I smile back at him. See? Nothing to see here. Move along.

“Get in.” I hesitate, and he leans over to shove the passenger door open for me. “I got a call from Cibrina about something at the Guild, and I’m going in. I’ll probably chat with the two GE people while I’m there if they’re up.” He watches my face before adding, “I assume you want to be there for that.”

I grip my backpack harder. If I go with him, he’s going to bring me back to Old Red when we’re done, and I’ll have to try this all over again tomorrow. And get through another whole day without Kellan breaking my door down. Which I’m pretty sure is his next move.

If I don’t go with him, it’ll definitely set off a flag to Aiden that something’s up, and he’ll drag me back to Old Red, anyway.

So, really, there’s no choice. At least pretending I’m making this call means I might glean some information from Reid or Tinsley. I’ll have to work on my escape plan while Aiden’s working on whatever else he’s doing at the Guild to see how I can slip away as soon as we return.

Aiden raises his eyebrows at me, and I nod mutely. I walk around the car and buckle in.

There’s almost no time between him hitting the gas on the car and diving right into questioning me. “Have you seen Jackson lately?”

Yes . “No,” I lie. I don’t know why I do. Jackson didn’t ask me to hide that I’d seen him, but something in my gut tells me there’s something going on between them. I need to get more information before I decide what I’m going to do with what I know.

Not that it’s much at all. Jackson didn’t tell me anything. Something about a hospital, I guess, but I don’t know what that would have to do with Aiden.

Aiden keeps his eyes on the road ahead of us, but his jaw ticks with frustration.

“Why? Is something wrong? ”

He purses his lips in thought, then gives me a careful side-eye. “He’s been going on a killing rampage of GE employees. Groups of them at a time. And half of them aren’t being cleaned up and are left for people to find. They’re being plastered all over the news.”

Oh. Well, then.

I bite my lower lip and stare at my hands in my lap. When he said he ‘dismantled’ a hospital, was that what he meant? Killing them and having it on the news? And for what? Why bring attention to it? We don’t want the cops or FBI involved in the fight with GE. Most of the government is in GE’s pocket, and who knows who else has been compromised.

“So…he’s not working under your orders?” I check just in case. Maybe he took it a step too far by not cleaning up after himself like usual.

“No. Guarding Old Red was the last thing I asked him to do.”

“Oh.”

I glance up again to see him watching me out of the corner of his eye. “He’s also been dropping children off at the Guild. No warning or heads-up. They just walk down one of the tunnels from different access points in the city and knock at the door.”

I fold my arms over my chest. His eyes drop to the bandage on my arm from Vera, but it’s already scabbed over and healing. It was a shallow cut. Bloody, but shallow.

“Isn’t that a good thing? He’s rescuing them.”

Aiden exhales, and I feel like an ignorant child who doesn’t understand the world yet. There’s truth in that, though, because I don’t have the faintest idea of his world. He gave me a taste of what else was on his plate, and before he could explain any more of it to me, I ran from it. How much more do I want to see proof of how deeply Aiden cares for others? It only reinforces the reminder that I’m the problem, not him, when it comes to us.

There is no us. There never was.

Just that one time. In the island library.

“The Guild is like a business. Everyone in it has a job or contributes in some way. No one is under the working age. What are we going to do with a bunch of children? We don’t have the place or the resources to give them everything they need.”

“You’ve saved kids before. Isabel, for one…”

“We have been working on ways to deprogram anyone we’ve saved from GE, but they usually aren’t children. She was an exception, and it was one kid. Any others we found we planned for. We erased any documentation or GE people who knew about them before returning them to a family member. That was how we worked as a team. But Jack isn’t doing any of that. He’s doing all the killing and getting the kids away and then moving on without the follow-through that Dane and I would do.”

“Then do it for these kids.”

We pull into a parking space at a standalone bar downtown and park. Aiden’s hands tighten on the wheel as he looks directly at me. “He’s dropping off kids daily when we used to have two to three a month. Even if I knew who he took them from or if they told anyone about these kids, I couldn’t be one hundred percent certain that GE doesn’t still know about them to try kidnapping them again.”

I chew anxiously on my lip when I realize how messed up this is now. The Guild has a bunch of missing children on them that they can’t just return home. And he said they don’t have the resources to keep them either.

Aiden turns the car off and unbuckles himself. “Now, you see the problem. If you see Jackson again” – he gives me a look that tells me he doesn’t believe my previous lie for a second – “then tell him we all need to talk. If he’s working on some sort of plan, we all need to be in on it. You and Dane already learned why going rogue is off the table at this point. Now, it’s Jackson’s turn.”

I follow him out of the car. “Well, if you say it like that , he’s not going to listen,” I mutter aloud.

He shoots me a look, and I shrug. It’s the truth.

We take the secret entrance in the bar to the tunnels that will lead us to the bunker. Something was definitely different with Jackson, but it wasn’t wrong. He was still him. More like he’s been letting more of the real him out lately.

The only reason I can think of that would have triggered the change is Thorne.

Is he hunting him down? Trying to draw him out? If so, I hope he would come to us to help him so he’s not facing that terrifying man alone.

Once we’re inside, I keep on Aiden’s heels to make sure I don’t get lost. We stop in front of a solid door that’s within a wall of glass to expose the interior of the room. It looks like a bedroom. Could this be where Reid or Tinsley are staying? I thought we would interview them later.

Aiden pulls his phone out and types in a number, then the lock clicks loudly. He pushes the door in and waits for me to enter first. It would seem gentlemanly, if we weren’t walking into a prisoner’s cell where the first one in could be attacked. I glance through the doorway into the room and frown when I don’t see anyone. There are a couple of doors in the room, so maybe they’re in one of those?

I walk in slowly, everything on alert to listen for someone else.

The door closes and locks behind us, which I’m sure is a security protocol, so the prisoner doesn’t try to escape while we’re in here, but then a steel wall comes down in front of the floor-to-ceiling glass wall.

For privacy during the interview , I try to reassure myself, but my gut pinches in disagreement. There’s another beep behind me, and I look up to see the lights turning off on the security cameras in the ceiling. Aiden finishes pushing all the buttons on his phone and pockets it in the inside of his suit jacket.

I swallow my nerves and step away from him so my back is to the wall, and I can see him and the rest of the room. “What’s going on?” My voice comes out thinly, probably because my heart rate and breathing have both picked up.

Aiden slowly pulls out the cuff congressman Joe had put on me, that I’d stolen and brought to my room in Old Red but forgot about since then, out of his jacket. There’s a new chain and cuff attached to the other end of it. “Put these on first.”

I give him a sarcastic, if breathy, laugh. “You’re joking.” He stares at me. “Why would I do that?”

“This is me asking nicely, Raegan. Just like last time. Do what I’m telling you, or don’t complain about how I make it happen anyway,” he coos. I shiver. Not in response to the cool threat of his words, but the smoothness of his voice as he says them.

“What do you want, Aiden? Stop threatening me and just tell me,” I snap angrily.

He holds the cuffs out to me on one finger, his other hand casually tucked into his slacks pocket. “I want you to put these on so we can have a conversation without you trying to destroy me or this room to run away. I want you to do what I say for once in your life, so this isn’t more difficult than it needs to be.”

I stare at him. At the cuffs. Him.

Does he really think I’d use my gift on him or this room to avoid some questions? I just won’t answer them. Or is this a test? To see if I can ever listen to him or if he’ll never be able to trust me.

My hand slowly extends out to his. I wrap my fingers around the cuff, waiting for him to drop it and then bring it in front of me. He watches me closely, but he doesn’t rush me. Maybe this is just a test. If it is, I hate that he’s using these. Anything but these. It feels… wrong …when my gift is muted. Like I’m missing a limb, and I’m no longer fully balanced.

I flip them over in my hands. “You found this in my room.” It’s not a question.

“I did,” he agrees anyway.

“What were you doing in there?”

His lips thin, and he looks away. “I was retrieving my stolen shirts.”

Hm. I’m not sure I believe him on that but let it go for now. I open one of the cuffs further in preparation to put one of my wrists inside and then stop. “There’s no key for these,” I say when I remember I hadn’t grabbed them off Joe before leaving.

Aiden holds up a small key between his thumb and forefinger. “I made a new one. That’s how they’re open now.”

I realize I’m dragging this out, but I’m dreading the feeling of being cut off from my gift. I’d ask if we could use rope or something else instead, but I know the point is to render my gift useless. If he only knew how much I hated using it in the first place, maybe this wouldn’t be such an issue. Only Kellan really knows that. And Jack a bit, only because he knows how I see myself.

Finally, I bite the bullet and click my wrist on the first bracelet, then do the same for the other. The feeling is almost instant. I feel empty, hollowed out.

I may not like using my gift, but I have to admit I’d never want to be without it. It’s like cutting out one of my senses that I’ve used all my life and making me walk around without it.

My face is tight with unease when I glare over at Aiden for making me do this. “There. Now, what?”

Aiden looks surprised. “I didn’t think you’d do it on your own.”

“Yeah, well, miracles do happen, but they’re rare, so don’t get used to it. Now, say what you want to say or ask, and let’s get this over with so I can take them off. I hate feeling like this.”

His brown eyes bounce back up to mine, and I think I spot a flicker of pity in them. “They aren’t coming off.”

My heart jumps out of rhythm.

“ Excuse me ?” I demand, my voice pitching higher than usual.

“You were running tonight, weren’t you?” he asks casually. He takes several steps closer to me, but I have nowhere to go with the wall at my back. My neck cranes back so I can keep his face in my view when he draws nearer. I clench my fists and glare at him to hide the fear snaking up my spine.

He continues on when I don’t answer him right away. “I heard you leave and followed you. There was no phone call from Cibrina. I’m not interviewing Reid or Tinsley in the middle of the night. We’re here because you’re running from something. You’re going to tell me what that is so you can get over it and come back to Old Red with me, or you’re going to move here permanently until you can be trusted again not to run off.”

My back hits the wall, and he leans down to whisper. “I told you I’d lock you up if I could. Now that you can’t run or break out of here, we have a lot to talk about, don’t you think?”

I swallow.

Fuck.

His index finger lifts my chin to bring my face up to his. “Well? What spooked you?”

I try to keep the cringe and effort off my face as I work at pushing my thumb out of its socket. He doesn’t know I got out of these cuffs before without a key. I can just do it again. Doesn’t mean I don’t hate doing this, but I’d rather that than open up to the person who’s betrayed my trust the most. I don’t owe him explanations for anything.

As far as he knows, he abandoned me on the island with our enemies. He doesn't know my roommate rescued me that day despite his efforts against me. And he hasn't said a damn thing about what he did since learning why I'd killed Vera. I don’t think he even flinched. As if knowing it was an accident made no difference to him at all. He’s already decided to hate me, regardless of what happens from here.

So, no, I don’t think I’ll be sharing.

“Fuck you, Aiden.”

My thumb slips over the other one in my attempt, and my body jerks the tiniest movement.

He notices.

Aiden looks down to see what I’m trying to do, and his brows furrow. He snatches my hands and throws them over my head, lacing our fingers together in each hand as he now crowds over me. “Start talking, or this will be your new home for the foreseeable future.”

I glare up at him. There’s absolutely no way I’m being locked up again. My hands struggle against his to get free, but it’s no use. I bring my leg up, but he blocks it with his own with a snarl.

“Fuck, you’re infuriating! Why do you have to make everything so difficult?!” His hands shift to the chain, and then he drops one to point it at my chest. “Give me something. If you want me to trust you, then you can’t keep running off on your own without telling us what’s going on.”

My arms jerk when I attempt to bring my hands back together, only to find that my arms are firmly stuck apart. I glance up and stare at the solid metal bar he’s holding against the wall instead of the chain. Which means I can’t reach my other hand to dislocate my thumb anymore.

Dammit.

“Well?” he demands in a low tone but no less angry.

I shift my face back to glare at him. “Why would I ever tell you anything? You’re the first person who would use anything I said against me. Did you ever think that the reason I don’t tell you anything is because I don’t trust you ?” I spit back.

Aiden yanks us both back from the wall and spins us around so my back is to his front, his hands gripping the bar in front of me, and his breath heating the side of my neck. “We seem to be at an impasse, then. I won’t trust you until you share everything you’re hiding, and you don’t trust me enough to tell me any of it.”

My heart thumps like I’m running a marathon as his arms trap me back against him. Cinnamon fills my nose when I take a breath to fight the shiver slithering down my neck. “Where does that leave us?”

I can feel his lips twist up into a smirk. “Right here. In this room.” He releases me suddenly, and I have to plant my feet before I fall over. The door clicks and locks shut behind him, and I’m left alone.

Locked up, just like he’d promised.