16. Raegan

Chapter sixteen

Raegan

There’s absolutely no way I can sleep after what happened tonight. I take a long, hot shower, re-wrap my arm in dry bandages, and then wait until everyone else is fast asleep before I sneak out. The bars are still open for another hour or two, so I go where it’s familiar.

The bartender, Susie, recognizes me with a scoff. You’d think she’s pissed I didn’t show up tonight, but she’s probably thrilled about that. It’s my arrangement of showing up when I want and taking away tips from the working bartenders that make her and the rest of them hate me. “Really? A city full of bars, and you came to this one to look miserable?”

I give her my best I-don’t-give-a-fuck smile. “Yes, a jack and coke sounds good. Light on the coke. You know what? Scratch that. Just jack.”

My face falls. Where is Jack? He didn’t come tonight. I’m not saying that I wasn’t able to handle myself without him, but he’s almost always appeared when I’ve been in trouble in this city. But tonight, my stalker was nowhere to be found.

Crap, that sounds stupid. I should not be upset that he’s not stalking me like he used to. That should be a good sign. Definitely less toxic.

Instead, it feels like an omen. Like something bad must be keeping him from me. I didn’t realize how attached I’d gotten to my shadow last month, but his absence is a tangible ache in my chest whenever I think of him.

Susie fills a glass—at least she’s not dumb enough to think I was only asking for a shot—and slides it over to me.

I need to drink and see if I can make myself forget about everything Vera said tonight. If I can’t forget, how am I going to look Dane in the eye again?

Then there’s the news about my mom. I have no memory of either of my parents. She could be making it up, but what she shared about me killing an ex-boyfriend had been true. Somehow, she or GE found out about that. If she got that right, does that mean she’s telling the truth about my mother?

I finish my drink in a couple gulps and flick the glass forward for more. Susie eyes me and then sets the entire bottle on the bar. “You’re paying for this. But I’m not keeping up with whatever self-destructive mood you’re in. Serve yourself.”

I grab the bottle and start pouring myself another. “Thanks.”

I finish the next glass and drop my head into the crook of my arm to take a long breath. I wonder if my mom is still alive. Or my dad. Does he have a gift too? Where is he? Does GE still have my mom?

Buzzing in my pocket startles me from my thoughts. Ken Doll displays on the screen of my phone. I’d tried texting him a couple of times to meet up, but it had always been a bad time. Now it’s my turn.

Or this could be just what I need.

“Hello?” I answer before I can talk myself out of it.

“Rebecca! I’m so glad you answered. Is this a good time?”

“Yeah. I’m free.”

“Great. Where are you now?”

“Right now?”

“Yes, I’ll come to you.”

“Oh. I’m at Porky’s bar in the city.”

There’s a pause on the other end. Does being at the bar break Rebecca’s character? “Are you with your friends? I thought you were free.”

Is that annoyance in his tone?

“No, I’m alone,” I reply, my voice tight.

“Oh, I see. I’m right around the corner from there, actually, so I’ll see you soon.”

Now I’m wondering if this was a good idea. He hangs up before waiting for me to respond, which means I’m now committed to the decision I made.

I can just leave if I’m not getting any worthwhile information.

With that reassurance in mind, I refill my glass. I’ll need to slow down now that he’s coming, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop. I still need the warm buzz to keep my thoughts from spiraling over everything Vera said.

Ken doll wasn’t lying when he said he was around the corner. I’ve barely had half a glass before he’s walking inside. He scans the room and finds me in the first pass, his smile lighting up his face when our eyes connect. He looks around me too, I guess to verify that no one else is around me, before he waves and strides to the seat next to mine.

“I know we’re meeting to talk about the internship, but if there’s something else you need to get off your chest, I can be quite the listener.” His eyes shine with mirth, like there’s something funny about what he said, but I have no idea what it could be. Maybe I’ve had too much to drink to catch on to dumb jokes.

“Nope. I’m good. Just wanted to go out for a drink,” I lie easily with a smile before taking another sip of my drink, as if to prove a point.

He chuckles and points to the large bottle of whiskey next to my glass. “All of that yours?”

Ah. That doesn’t really help my case. I set my glass down and laugh softly. “Okay, you got me. But please”–I wave at the bottle–“help yourself. Susie!” I shout, then point between my glass and Ken doll. She rolls her eyes and brings another glass over to me. “Thanks, Suze.”

“Whatever.” She looks Ken doll up and down and frowns when she glances back at me. Then she must decide she doesn’t care enough to say or ask anything and walks away again.

Ken grabs the bottle and the extra glass. “Is she a friend of yours?”

“No–oh!” I hold my hand up as he tops off my drink with a heavy pour that makes it splash. “Uh, thanks.”

He lifts his glass expectantly. “A toast. ”

“To what?”

“To finally being able to meet. I’m sorry for being so busy before today.”

Oh. That’s…weird. He jerks his glass again and I raise mine to clink his.

“So, the internship,” he begins. “There are only two spots open at my firm, but you’ll get full access to the process of various cases. You’ll have to sign an NDA, of course, to protect our clients.”

Ken continues on in a long-winded explanation of the internship, and I find myself reaching for my drink more often just to give myself something to do.

“And that’s everything. What questions do you have for me?”

The room blurs around me. I blink to bring him back into focus. “Hm?” What did he say? Questions? “Oh, um.” I grab my glass to give myself more time and realize it’s empty. How much more did I drink? Ugh, not good. I need to leave while I still have enough sense to get back to Old Red.

“Actually.” I speak the words slowly, putting all my focus on getting the right ones out. “I think you’ve given me a lot. Can we call it a night? I can call you when I know all I wanna ask.” Did that sound good? Shit, even thinking is becoming a struggle.

Ken smiles like he understands. “Of course. It is pretty late, so we can call it here. Do you need a ride?”

I shake my head and then freeze when the room spins. Nope. Don’t do that, Rae. “No, but thanks.” I carefully stand and reach into my pocket.

“I’ll get the drinks. You get home safe. ”

I nod, but I’m not even looking at him. I need to call a cab and make it within walking distance of the firehouse before I can’t walk straight. “Thanks,” I mumble. I walk to the door and stand at the sidewalk, looking both ways for a taxi. They’re still out at this time of night, right?

There’s no yellow car in sight even after a few minutes pass. I should call a service at this point.

A black car pulls up at the curb in front of me. Wait. Did I already call for a car?

Ken gets out of the driver’s seat and walks around to open the back door in front of me. “Please, Rebecca. I insist. It’s no trouble.”

Maybe not for him, but I can’t get in his car with how I’m feeling. I open my mouth to refuse again when I’m shoved from behind and pushed into the backseat.

“Hey!” I cry out, then slap my hand over my mouth as my world tilts and nausea grips me. The door slams shut behind me, but I’m already sinking into pitch black.

I wake to hands groping my breasts and a tongue down my throat.

I gag.

My initial reaction is to shove whoever it is away from me, but my hands jerk in restraints behind my back.

I bite the tongue in my mouth, hard. A man shouts in front of me, and I take another slow breath, making sure I’m not actually going to hurl before I open my eyes.

Ken’s holding his mouth and glaring down at me. I look down, and thank fuck I’m still wearing clothes. But I am tied to a chair. I check our surroundings, albeit slowly, because my head still feels like it’s filled with cotton balls, and any fast movements make my stomach clench painfully.

It looks like I’m in a kitchen-dining area of an apartment.

His place?

Ugh.

“What. Did. You. Give. Me?” My mouth is dry as fuck. The only saliva in there tastes like him . My stomach rolls again. I gather whatever moisture is in my mouth and spit it out on the floor.

Ken either moves really fast, or my brain is still moving too slow because he’s suddenly kneeling between my legs with his hand on my throat. “Just some sleeping pills, Becky. I didn’t think you’d wake up so soon, but maybe I took too long getting everything ready.”

Ew. That nickname sounds worse than anything else he could have given me. “Not. Becca .”

“Oh, I know. You’re Raegan. But I like Becky better. You’re not the only one who can rename people to what they want.”

Wait. What?

“And once I’m done with you, you can go back to being Raegan when I turn you in to GE.”

Oh. Fuck no. I know this is bad. Really bad. I can barely get any words from my brain to my mouth, let alone get my body to respond to me right now. Wake up, stupid body!

And I knew he was tied to GE. But where does he fit in with them? He must be higher than a goon if he was at the mayor’s house.

Ken chuckles. “A goon? That’s cute.”

Did I say that aloud? No, he said something earlier about renaming people too. As if he knows I call him Ken.

I drag my head up so I can see his face more clearly. He’s grinning at me.

“That’s right. I can hear everything you’re thinking.”

Shit. Of course, now all the things I shouldn’t let him know about all compete to jump to the forefront of my mind.

“Yes, I know Joe is dead. And I suspected it was you, but it’s good to know I was right.”

No, no, no. Think of nothing. Or vomiting in his face.

“Hm. Yes. You’ve thought about Jackson and Aiden before. I’ll look into them. Who’s Old Red? Ah, a firehouse?”

Panic slips through my veins as he easily plucks information from my head. I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping that might somehow block him out. Please, no.

“Too much?” He laughs and straightens in his position between my knees. “That was fun, but we have plenty of time to catch up later.”

His hand pinches my jaw hard enough to make me cry out, and then his tongue shoves back into my mouth. I try to fight against him, but he clearly has the advantage over me now. I fight to block out what he’s doing and focus instead on calling my gift. I reach for it, and then his hand grabs my tit roughly, and it snaps my concentration.

He ends the sloppy kiss, and I spit him out again. Bile creeps up my throat, and I don’t try to keep it down. Memories of my ex and his friends resurface unbidden, bringing me right back to that small apartment. Of being used and tossed aside like an object.

“Don’t. Touch. Me,” I spit out between heavy breaths.

Ken’s pawing at my shirt and trying to move it up and out of the way so he doesn’t see when something floats down behind him.

But I do.

I laugh uncontrollably. At least I can do that. I may not be able to form words well enough, but I can laugh like a fucking hyena right now. My body shakes with the laughter, or maybe as a side effect of the drugs, and it’s enough that he stops what he’s doing to look at me with confusion.

“Why are you laughing?”

I keep laughing while looking right at the small white paper crane on the floor at his feet. “Dead. So. Dead.”

His face scrunches with more confusion. Something slices through the binds at my hands and feet without a sound. I grab the rope in my hands and then smile at Ken. He hasn’t noticed I’m free yet, but it’s not like that’s going to do me a load of good while my body is still sluggish.

There’s a scuffing noise from a room off the living area, and Ken spins around to look. I get up slowly, only because my body doesn’t let me move as much as I want to, then step on the chair and launch myself at his back. I fall into him, knocking us both down, but I’m able to get the rope around his throat.

I get up enough to kneel on his spine while leaning back, forcing his head up .

Jackson enters the room steadily, his boots taking their time as he crosses the floor to us. He stops just in front of Ken and pauses to look me over. Then he smiles at me, but it’s cold and void of anything human.

He’s pissed .

My body shivers involuntarily at his smile. I know it’s aimed at Ken, not me, but it’s terrifying all the same.

“Hold him still for me, little one,” his husky voice commands. He slides a knife out from under his hoodie and crouches before Ken. Even in that position, he still has to look down to see Ken’s face, where it’s angled up from the ground. He looks menacing as his body shadows over Ken’s while he prepares to mete out his punishment.

Jackson grips Ken’s cheeks in an imitation of what that man had just done to me. I can feel his body tremble with the effort not to open his mouth. Jack just keeps smiling and then lays the blade against his cheekbone with the sharp point angling into his eye.

“Open wide, or I’ll take your eye out first.”

Ken’s body jerks and thrashes beneath me. I hold on tightly to the rope, but my balance still isn’t where it normally is, and I fall off him. He jumps to his feet, breaking my hold on the rope, then screams and looks down.

There’s a knife sticking out of his gut. He reaches for it, but Jack tsks.

“I wouldn’t pull that out if I were you. Now, take a seat.” He shoves Ken backward, who falls into the chair I’d been in. The rope I’d dropped hovers in front of me. I grab it and wrap it back around his throat without question.

He jerks in the seat, but something is keeping his legs against the chair because every movement is small and hardly moves him from his spot. “No, wait. Don’t! I’m begging you! Oh my God, you’re crazy! Stay the fuck away from me!” Ken struggles harder, refusing to give up. As if he knows the second he stops trying to escape, it’s over.

I wonder if he’s reading Jack’s mind right now and what he found there.

“Please, don’t do this. I’ll do anything. I swear!” He snivels, tears and snot running down his face.

Jackson cocks his head to the side as if he’s considering letting this man live.

I know with certainty that he won’t be walking out of here.

It’s not great, considering his ties to Joe, but this isn’t on me. If he hadn’t drugged me, stolen information from my head, or forced himself on me, then I wouldn’t be killing him. Now he has to die. I don’t let rapists live to do it to anyone else.

“What’s your role with Gifted Enterprise?” Jack asks calmly.

“I’m—I’m their lawyer. I represent anyone in GE if a suit comes up.”

Jackson taps a blade into the palm of his hand. “Joe?”

“Yes! Yes, he’s—was—my current client. He had a lot of harassment suits I was taking care of before he could join the Board.”

“Who are your other clients?”

“Let me get you a list. If we can just go to my office…”

“What do you know about where GE’s headquarters is?” Jack asks instead.

“I-I don’t know that! They come to me or call my office when they need something.”

“What about their lab research facilities?” Jackson tries again.

Ken sputters. “I don’t—Wait! I know they own a hospital here. Saint…St. Marks! They could be doing experiments there! It’s where I was going to take her after—” He gasps and snaps his mouth shut.

Jack’s dark smile returns. “I’ve already dismantled that hospital. Anything else? No?” He shoves his thumb into Ken’s mouth and pries it open with the knife between his teeth. Ken’s screams tear through the apartment, and there’s a second of concern about being heard until I see the lack of reaction by Jackson. And then I forget all about that when I see Ken’s tongue pinched between Jack’s fingers before he drops it at his feet.

Ken’s head lulls forward.

I look over him to Jackson, whose blue eyes are already fixated on me. I feel like a deer in headlights as his attention zeroes in on me. He’s giving off a lot of bloodlust vibes right now, and self-preservation tells me not to move and draw more attention to me. So I don’t. I barely breathe.

Then his gaze drops back to Ken. His hand grips the back of Ken’s hair and pulls his face back up. I realize that I’m no longer holding the rope at his throat, but I don’t think it was doing much to begin with. “You touched her too, right?” Jack looks down pointedly at Ken’s hands, which are still cupping the hilt coming out of him as if they might stabilize it.

“Jack,” I breathe before I can stop myself. His eyes jump up to mine without hesitation, and the air suddenly feels thinner. Shit. What was I going to say? I don’t have a problem killing him. It’s just…something about Jackson feels…off. Something’s not right. “He’s my kill,” I finally tell him.

He chuckles and shakes his head at me. Not to tell me no, but like he expected this from me. “You’re still trying to save them, even after what he would have done to you.” I don’t answer him. I’m not sure why he thinks I’m saving him when I’m saying I want to be the one to kill him, but I also don’t think it’s wise to try arguing with him right now. He’s been gone for a month doing, I have no idea what, but apparently, taking down a hospital is in there somewhere, and I can see the difference.

It’s like he’s shed the skin of humanity and left only the monster.

“You don’t want me to hurt him anymore?” he asks me, his head tilted like a curious puppy wanting to understand what his master wants from him.

“No. I just want this over with.”

He nods and takes a step back. He wipes his blade clean on his hoodie and puts it away, then yanks his other knife free from Ken to clean and sheath it as well. If he removes it rougher than necessary, I don’t comment. Jackson finally settles his hands in his front pocket to show he has no plans to interfere. But he remains standing in front of Ken like he wants to watch this man’s death front and center.

It takes more time than usual to call on my gift, even without distractions, but I can feel that my body is pushing through the sleeping pills. My head is clearer, if foggy, and my body is responding to me faster than before. I’m through the worst of it, though I’m sure I’ll still sleep like the dead after this is all over until it’s completely out of my system.

I flinch at the pain of my gift when it finally comes out. Hopefully, Jack doesn’t notice, but I don’t dare look at him in case he did. I focus on Ken instead, on thrusting my gift into him and watching him scream as it eats away at his insides. I keep both hands on his shoulders, pouring more and more of my gift into him and focusing only on the burn in my hands rather than the aftermath of Ken.

When his voice stops suddenly, I look up at Jackson. He’s smirking at Ken, then lifts his gaze to mine. “He’s dead,” he confirms. There’s blood on his face. I don’t remember if it’s from what he did before or what just happened, but the combination of blood spatter and the malicious intent in his darker blue eyes while he stares at me sends goosebumps racing down my neck and arms.

A moment of silence stretches between us, and then Jackson’s kissing me in a frenzy. I’m still not one hundred percent, but I give him everything I can and let him take the rest. I fall into his kiss, letting him consume me as he tells me with his mouth and his hands how much he missed me. How we’re not meant to be apart for so long.

My hands grab and claw at the back of his neck, as if I can somehow press myself closer to him if I have him in my hands just right.

He rips his mouth from mine, and the same frenzy is in his eyes when he looks at me. “Run, little one. Don’t let me catch you.”

My mind trips over his words.

What?

“Now.” He licks his lips and steps back. His body is vibrating with the need to move. To catch me .

I feel a thrill of excitement rush through me, leaving me breathless, while a still-sane part of my brain tries to tell me this is crazy. Alarm bells are ringing in my head, but the hunger in his stare sends my heart catapulting out of my chest.

I’m doing this. It’s insane. Sick. Twisted. We just killed someone. He has that man’s blood on him still. There’s every chance he might want a piece of me too, and I’m just setting myself up like a pig on a platter for him, apple in my mouth and all, but I’m convinced he won’t hurt me. Just like I told him to stop torturing what’s-his-face, he would stop right now if I asked him to.

I could.

But I won’t.

I turn and run from him, my heart in my throat and a buzz of adrenaline electrifying my body as I run through room after room. This apartment is giant. I find a spiral staircase in a hallway and take it two steps at a time. I’m straining to hear if he’s started hunting me yet, but the pounding of my heart and my harsh pants are making it impossible to hear anything else.

I run into what looks like a second smaller kitchen, then scramble to open the cabinets to find one that will fit me. I try to quietly shove some pots aside and then crawl underneath, closing the cabinet in front of me when I’m in.

The rapid beat of my heart makes me feel lightheaded, but it’s like a new sort of high that I revel in as I wait anxiously for any sign of him. I think I hear a door creak open, and I cover my mouth to make sure my breathing doesn’t give me away. The cabinet door swings open, and a hand wraps around my ankle and pulls me out.

I kick at him and flip over onto my hands and knees to try to get to my feet, but he deflects the kick and drags me back under him. Jackson flips me over on my back. All the while, I’m still playing the game of trying to get away. He told me not to let him catch me, and it clicks in my brain that I didn’t know exactly what my punishment would be if he did catch me.

I fight harder, but his hips pin my legs down, and my wrists are captured over my head, stretching me out for him. Jackson kisses me, and my thighs clench with the desperate need for him to claim me. His hand unbuttons my pants and slips inside to feel just how much I need him. He drives two fingers into me, and my body welcomes him with easy, slick passage.

I groan into his mouth, my fight completely melting away under his touch. I whimper when his hand leaves me. In seconds, he’s removed our shoes and pants, and lines his dick with my entrance.

I cry out when he slams into me, my back arching sharply. It’s rough, but I love it. I feel alive and wild. Each thrust and grind of his hips has me moaning his name for more. His pace slows when he dips down to kiss me again, and it feels like he’s claiming me in every way. He’s tasting his name on my lips and drinking in my pleasure for his own.

Then he draws my wetness up through my folds and teases around my clit, and my body stutters against his. He doesn’t let up, running his thumb in maddening circles as his pace intensifies until I explode around him. I scream out as my orgasm takes me. Jackson rides through it and then hilts himself with a shudder .

He drops over me, his forearms on either side of me, and kisses me like I’m a glass of water he’s parched for. My hands tug and grip his dark hair, loving the feel of it, of him, against me again.

Jack presses his forehead against mine as we catch our breath.

“I missed you,” I tell him softly.

His eyes widen a fraction, then drop back down as he smiles. Admitting that to him is embarrassing and vulnerable. Two things I actively avoid. But I’d also regret not telling him if he disappears again for another month. Or…who knows how long next time? The only reason I’m seeing him now is because he came to save me. Again.

He strokes his thumb across my cheekbone. “I’ve missed you too, little one.”

He’s calmer now, almost peaceful, and I know that it’s because of me. He needs me just as much as I need him. I calm the monster beneath his skin, just like he calms the demons in my head.

Jackson takes me back to Old Red and sneaks us into my room through the window. I wasn’t sure if I’d planned on coming back here before, but now all I can think about is sleep. I’ll figure out what I’m doing next after that.

“Is this how you’ve been visiting me? Sneaking through my window?” I smile up at him. We’re both lying on our sides on my bed facing each other, his one arm wrapped under the pillow and me and the other tracing circles along my hip.

He smiles at me, bringing his dimple out for me to see up close. “You knew.”

I nod my head, fighting my eyes to stay open as sleep calls to me.

“Get some sleep, little one.”

“Are you going to leave again?”

His fingers stop their movements so he can tuck hair behind my ear. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“I can’t stay until I’m done.”

“Will you tell me what you’re doing?”

“No.” I frown when he doesn’t hesitate. He softens it by adding, “Not yet. It’s almost time.”

Almost time. For what?

“Go to sleep. I won’t leave for a few hours still,” he promises me.

I fight back a yawn and close my eyes, but try to keep our conversation going. “I shouldn’t have killed him. Aiden’s going to be mad at me,” I mumble.

“He deserved worse.” He kisses the side of my forehead. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.”