5. ‘Raven’

FIVE

Ash stayed for a while after his family left, trying to explain how they have been living while hiding all that’s going on at their ranch. He told me Alder had enough and almost got himself killed when he refused to let the band of morons stay right off of their property in the forest. That is how he came upon Bray. Well, Bray and other women. He could only grab one so he picked my sister because he recognized her and she was in pretty bad shape.

My head is pounding along with my heart. How did my sister get in that situation, and why didn’t anyone in my family even think something bad could have happened to her? I mean, yeah, she’s our wild child, but son of a bitch, did Mom or Dad even…no, I can’t blame them for any of this. They’ve been suffering all this time, not knowing where Bray was. And to find out she was in our own backyard, so to speak. I thought she looked pale with Onyx tonight, but everything was happening so fast. Shame on me for not taking a minute to check in with my older sister.

Then a quick memory comes to my mind and I realize I’m all over the place. When I asked Ash why Patsy Woods, he explained her father is part of the brotherhood organization. His dad, along with Patsy’s, figured a long time ago if the two of them hooked up, their kids would be the ultimate race. Patsy being the skank she is, went along with it, and even accused Ash of being her baby daddy. Well until, from what Ash said, she surprised everyone when the child was born and it came out much darker than he is. Her father was going to kill the baby, thank God Ash was there. He told them he’d take care of it then took the little one to his mom’s house. His mom named the baby Joshua and he is still at the ranch under his momma’s care. She dared his father to say or do anything. Yeah, she did, though she also had a gun in her hand pointed at his face.

The way Ash explained it, they are living in a war zone. Every one of them carry whenever on the property, even his mom. I can’t even get that picture in my brain, Mrs. Sterling walking around with a gun on her side. They’ve been able to keep most of their ranch, but his dad has taken over just about a hundred acres closest to the forest preserve on the far northwest side. Ash says he’s seen all kinds of traffic coming and going lately but doesn’t dare go over there. The last time someone got nosy it was Rowan, and they almost killed his little brother. Surprisingly, his dad stepped up and sent him home, ordering—yeah that’s what Rowan told them—their dad demanded the brotherhood leave him alone, something about that was their deal. For being a nosy teenager, Rowan ended up with two black eyes, a broken nose and wrist, bruised ribs, and a few chipped teeth.

I asked him to give me a few hours. His family is waiting to hear from me so they can come over and explain what they know about this chapter of the Thunder Cloud Knuckle Brotherhood. Ash says they are particularly cruel, leaning on the side of sadists. I need to make some calls, but first I reach out to Onyx to check on Bray. What she tells me has me wanting to jump in my cage and go out there and kill each and every one of those motherfuckers who put their filthy hands on my big sister. Onyx said that Alder, along with two of his ranger friends who live on his property, are holding down the fort and protecting Bray. I’m not sure her being around a bunch of men is the right thing but until I hear differently, I’ll let it stand for now.

After hanging up with Onyx, with a promise for us to get together and really talk, I get up and grab an ice-cold bottle of water. This next call I’m dreading. Gonna reach out to Tink to see if we can all get together on the ranch in our conference hall, so I can share what I just found out. Problem is, I’ll have to share some very personal things that have been kept secret for years with my club sisters. Guess, as my mom would say, it’s time to put on my big girl panties and face the music, whatever the hell that means. I hit Tink’s number and sit on my front porch in my favorite rocker.

“Hey, Raven, what’s up, sister?”

“Tink, is it possible, can we maybe call a meeting? I need to talk to the club about some things I just found out that have to do with the Thunder Cloud Knuckle Brotherhood and, unfortunately, my past too.”

I hear silence then some whispering, which I make out is Tink telling Noodles she needs a minute or two. One thing I can say about our prez is she’s always there for all of us, no matter if it’s day or night. That’s why she’s perfect for that position.

“Raven, sure, I’ll put out a text. Do you need me to come over so we can hash some of this shit out first, just the two of us? I can either come to you or you’re more than welcome up here. It isn’t like we’re miles from each other. It’s not a bother, really.”

Feeling the insecurity rising up in me that always makes me want to crack jokes, I push it aside.

“Yeah, sure, if you don’t mind walking down. Is Glory or Shadow around? If so, bring them along too, I guess. Get it out all at once so I don’t have to keep repeating my life story.”

“Hang tight, sister, we’ll be there shortly. Hey, did you eat?”

Realizing I didn’t eat because that big bear Avalanche ate my dinner, I tell Tink no. She laughs and says she’ll bring some leftovers, which I pray Noodles or one of the other sisters made. Tink is getting better, but uh no, not tonight, don’t think I can take another thing going wrong… like my gut. Not sure a night in the bathroom is something I’d be looking forward to like, ever.

As I wait for my club sisters to make their way here, I sit on the rocker trying to get my thoughts together. For once in my life, I can’t find anything to joke or laugh about. That thought scares the ever-lovin’ crap outta me. I’ve always used jokes to not show my true emotions or to hide my past. Actually, anything that makes me dive into my emotions. Since I’ve never dealt with my feelings for Ash, he is on the top of that list. Not sure I want to deal with him now either.

My head goes to the kiss he pressed on my lips before he turned and got in his truck and took off. He’s not the kid I fell in love with. I could tell by that quick, intense kiss. His firm lips wasted no time and when he bit my bottom lip, I couldn’t stop the moan from coming out of my mouth. His hands ran up and down my sides, ghosting over the curves of my breasts, making me gasp deep in my throat. When he licked my lips, I couldn’t resist, so I opened and he ate at me like a man starving. Right when my arms went around his neck and I gave him my weight, he pulled me so close I could feel how much he wanted me. Then he pressed a kiss on the tip of my nose before he left. It took me a while to catch my breath but when I did, it was with a huge smile across my face.

I’m so caught up in my own thoughts, I almost crap myself when I hear Shadow’s cackling in front of me.

“Damn, Goldilocks, look at her face. We are about to enter another Devil’s Handmaidens’ drama that’s for sure. The signs are written all over her face. Fuck, I haven’t recovered from Glory’s shit. Couldn’t give us a little time off, Raven? Though if the drama is with that tall drink of cowboy, can’t say I blame Raven at all. Damn, sister, you been holding out on us. Now let’s get inside so you can fill us in on whatever the fuck is goin’ on with ya. Never thought I’d say this, but I’m missing our easygoing, fun-lovin’ prankster sister.”

I feel my eyes start to itch but I push it back, now is not the time. First, I have to do something I should have done years ago when these three women gave me the chance that literally saved my life.

“Hey, before we get into all this bullshit, first, I want each of you to know how much you mean to me, all kidding and bullshitting aside. Back when I started in the Devil’s Handmaidens, I kept my life separate from the club and y’all. Well, tried to, anyway. The thing none of you know is if not for the club, I might have done something really stupid and permanent. No, hang on, Shadow, let me talk. I’ll explain in great detail, but to sum it up, Ash and I were engaged and the night of our engagement party—you know my mom—she always finds something to throw a party about. So she threw a huge barn get-together. Music, food and drinks. Seemed like everyone and everything was going great until Ash had a huge fight with his father. I mean, so bad my dad and brothers had to drag his father off of Ash. Next thing I know, he’s calling off our engagement and walking out with a skank we went to high school with. And was known to put out on top of it.”

Hearing Shadow literally growl, I giggle. Damn, I love this woman. Glory and Tink are watching me closely but don’t say a word.

“Little did he know that I had a surprise for him that night. I’d just found out I was pregnant and was excited because we were starting our lives together. You know married, kids, ranch, horses, and some dogs and cats. Yeah, what a night. After he walked out, I kinda—just like those romance books are always spouting—let my life literally fall apart because of a man. I was so disgusted with myself. Then one day I didn’t feel good. It got worse and before I knew it started hemorrhaging and, eventually, I lost our child. Spiraling is the only word that fits what was going on in my life. Then I fell into the Wooden Spirit Bar and Grill, which led me to the Devil’s Handmaidens and the three of you. No one ever truly believed in me like the three of you did. My family kind of did but also humored me. We live in Timber-Ghost, Montana so my path was determined when I was born a female. I got flack for wanting to go to college but I ended up with my associate’s degree from our community college. Y’all not only gave me a job but even a chance to prospect after. I never knew what folks meant when they said they had a given family and a chosen one. I can honestly say, right at this moment, my given and chosen family to me are all the same, and I love each and every one in my family.”

Wiping my face with my sleeve, I take a deep breath. Glory comes close, bumping shoulders with me but doesn’t reach out. She’s always been the one who was able to figure out what the best thing was for each of her club sisters. She knew if she hugged me, I’d break, but she didn’t, so this was the second-best way to show me her support.

“When I was prospecting, you offered to let me go back to school. Yeah, I was already hacking shit. Been doing that since I was in high school, before I even met the club, but what I learned over the last couple of years I can’t even comprehend. What I can do on a computer blows my mind, and that’s because of you. Not to mention, Tink, your dad’s computer dude, Freak, has helped me grow so much, and Karma with the Grimm Wolves too. They’ve had so much more experience than me it’s crazy. When the three of us get together, it’s nerd city for sure.

“So before we go into my cabin and I explain how badly this is fucked up, I wanted you to know how much I appreciate you. I just found out those jagoffs, the Thunder Cloud Knuckle Brotherhood, had been holding my older sister captive all this time. We thought she took off to follow her hippy heart, so yeah, I get it, Shadow. I hope you can feel how badly I want to take these motherfuckers down. Bray has to come first and if it’s okay, I’m gonna try to talk her into coming to stay at the ranch for a bit, talk to our therapist, and get checked out by Dr. Cora. Now, sister, let me finish, almost there. I love you like my own blood sisters, sometimes even more because I chose you. I’m beyond thankful and hope to Christ I live and die a Devil’s Handmaiden sister because what we do gives me solace and lets me know that evil will never win over good.

“Now get your fine asses in here so I can drop all my family and love drama on you. Might even end up on the Hallmark Channel as a movie of the week, who knows, we are in books now.”

Hearing them all laugh gives me the strength for what comes next. Me baring my soul without any jokes or laughs. Nothing to laugh about at the moment.