25. ‘Raven’

TWENTY-FIVE

Cold water hits me in the face, forcing me to wake up. Shivers run up and down my body as I try to focus. There are lights on now and I can hear the women crying as they huddle all around where I’m at. The sleeping bag and blanket are soaked so I throw the blanket off and struggle to sit up. Once there, I move off the sleeping bag, pulling my legs up to my chest, the little knife in my hand before I slip it in my thick socks.

“Oh look, the little princess is up. Someone grab her arm, drag her ass out of the corner. Now, motherfuckers.”

Before I can do anything, someone reaches for my arm. As they go to drag me out, I feel one of the women grab on to my other arm as another woman grabs on to my leg. Fuck, they’re going to tear me apart.

“Bitches, if you know what’s good for you, let the whore go. She wouldn’t worry about you, so don’t give her a second thought.”

I knew before they slowly let me go that they would. I get it, when you’ve been beaten and abused for so long, you have hardly any fight in you anymore. As I’m being pulled out, I look and see Olive watching me, tears in her eyes. She mouths, “Be strong,” to me. I try to smile but I just can’t. God, I’m not going to survive this.

Once outside there are torches all around the campsite. A huge fire is going far to the left and the number of men standing, sitting, and walking around is staggering. How have they been able to hide out with no one noticing? And why didn’t they bounce on my radar? I’ve been doing searches for anything out of the ordinary. With all this going through my mind, I’m not paying attention. Well, until my arm is dropped on the ground. They might have pulled it out of the socket. Next, both legs are being pulled apart. That’s it, I start to fight because, shit, I’m backup as muscle for our club. I’m not a withering flower but a badass motherfucker. One foot hits someone in the balls and he goes down. My other foot slams into someone’s face. By the time the second one hits the ground, I’m rolling onto my knees then am on my feet. The dirt is hard on my socked feet, but fuck it, what do I have to lose? I go to move my arm and, luckily, it’s not as bad as I thought. Quickly I look around and see the crowd coming toward me. I shift so my back is toward the row of trees and brace myself. There is no way I’m going to be able to fight my way out of here but before they rape or kill me, I’ll do some damage, promise that.

They are playing with me because instead of rushing me only two or three come at me at a time. This goes on for a bit but between the beatdown from Cliff, my possible concussion, and the hits I’m taking now, my strength starts to wane. When I miss the next man up, I don’t see that two have snuck up behind me and are standing by the trees, waiting. Knowing my battle is up, I wait ’til the next guy comes at me. I grab him by the neck and not sure why, but I snap it and drop him. That has them coming at me all at once. I get a few hits and kicks in before I’m on the ground again, getting my ass kicked literally.

“Enough. I said enough, motherfuckers. I don’t want her dead. Not yet.”

Barely recognizing the voice, Cliff continues.

“Now, like I said before, you can play but no sex. I mean it, assholes. She’s gotta be in one piece or my son will not go along with the plan. Saying that, you can touch, slap, punch, or kick, just don’t kill her. Or go grab another woman and have your way with them. I don’t give a shit if you kill them. We can always find and get more of the expendable women we have here. When you’re done with her, bring her to my cabin. If I’m asleep, throw her in the corner, I’ll have a pad there for her. Make sure you cover her up, don’t want her to die from hyperthermia during the night. Now, have some fun but don’t go overboard. Brenna, enjoy your evening, bitch.”

I hear him walk away as many hands are on my body. Shadow’s words echo through my brain. If it’s too much, sister, just close your eyes, take deep breaths, and let your brain fly. Find your safe place and go there. No one can hurt you there. So as I feel my pants and underwear being ripped from my body, I do exactly that. I close my eyes and go to my safe place. I don’t feel a thing.

Not sure how long I’ve been in my head but when someone cracks me in the face, it startles me. Not wanting to open my eyes, I keep them scrunched close. Until another crack lands, this one harder. I open my eyes to see Cliff bending over me.

“Brenna, get up. If you need to piss, let’s go now. And I’m gonna give you some wet ones, need ya to clean yourself up. Don’t want all that filth in my cabin. They dumped you outside of it and your moaning woke me up. Be thankful ’cause there are wolves, bears, and other animals out here. Damn, woman, you stink. Let’s go.”

Again, this asshole drags me to the outer perimeter of the campsite.

“I don’t care what you have to do crawl, walk, or just piss here. I’ll be right back.”

Knowing I don’t have a lot of time, I do crawl into the brush and without underwear, get up to my knees, squat, and pee. Once I’m done, without toilet paper, I just drip then crawl back to where I was. Cliff is waiting, a smirk on his face and a package of wet ones in his hands.

“Not so high and mighty, are you? Didn’t think you would be. Wait, it will only get worse, I can promise you that. Now, wash that shit off of you and get your ass into my cabin. I’m tired, want to catch some shut-eye.”

He tosses the package at me. It hits me in the shoulder and lands on the ground. I grab it and peel it open, taking a few of the sheets out. Slowly I start to wipe my body, knowing I’m wiping off a lot of semen and probably spit and shit, but I keep my mind as blank as I can. From what I can tell I wasn’t raped or sodomized, so that’s something, I guess. Glad I was out of it because what I don’t know won’t come back to haunt me. Knowing he’s watching me; I try not to let it bother me. I don’t hunch over or hide anything. I pile the dirty wipes off to the side and continue to clean up. When I’m done, I pick up everything and look to Cliff. He throws me a plastic bag so I put everything in it.

“Stay here.”

I watch him walk over to a huge dumpster that he flings the bag into. Then he walks back to me, giving me a hand up. I almost fall flat on my face but he grabs ahold of me, giving me time to find my feet. He walks me to his cabin, shuts the door, and points to a far corner. I make my way there and when I turn, something hits me in the face. I grab for it and feel it’s a soft T-shirt. I don’t look at him but put it over my head slowly. When it’s in place, I look at where I guess I’m sleeping. Shocked to see what looks like a thick, kind of clean, sleeping bag and a newer thick plush blanket. Next to the blanket are wool socks so I carefully sit down, remove my filthy ones, and pull the socks on, realizing I no longer have the knife from Olive. I can feel Cliff’s eyes on me but I look over the sleeping bag making sure there are no critters. Then I lie down, back to Cliff, and pull the blanket over me.

Lying here, I don’t move and barely breathe. I listen and can tell when he’s fallen asleep. Then and only then do I allow myself to let the tears fall out of my eyes. I do it quietly and without my body moving. I don’t want to give this asshole the satisfaction that what happened tonight put a crack in my armor. By tomorrow I’ll have it patched up so I can face another day. I think about Ash and wonder what he’s doing. How did this ever get so far? My God, how do people turn into monsters? This man sleeping, lying a few feet from me, was going to be my father-in-law, instead, years later, he’s my captor. Never in a million years would I’ve thought I’d be here.

Pulling my hair up and using some of my hair to tie it into a messy bun on top of my head, I put my hands under my head. My hair feels sticky but I try not to think about that, nothing I can do about it right now. Feeling my head pounding, not sure from what, only God knows. I could use another butterscotch but that isn’t going to happen in here. I try to imagine one of our club’s potlucks we have at the clubhouse when we invite the townsfolk to join us. I can visualize all the tables of food and drink. Digging deep in my memory, I bring up the taste and textures of my favorite dishes. I can almost smell and taste them. I throw in a huge glass of ice water with lemon, and those are my last thoughts before I fall into a fitful sleep. One that keeps me under throughout the night.