24. ‘Raven’

TWENTY-FOUR

Something is wrong. I’m not at home or at the clubhouse, that much my mind can figure out. I’m freezing and not sure why. My head is pounding and my body is aching. I don’t move because as I’m trying to process everything: it hits me what happened and who took me. My head hurts because that asshole Cliff hit me up against the temple with a gun in his hand. I can tell I’m in my bra and panties, on a floor That’s why I’m cold.

When something crawls across my leg, it takes everything in me not to try to jump up and scream. I try to hear Shadow’s voice when she trained all of us, back in the early days, on how to survive torture. I thought she was a total nutcase, but now all I can do is cross my fingers and hope her training will get me through whatever I’m about to face.

My hair is covering my face so I slit my eyes to try and see where I’m at. It’s dark, though there are windows because some light is coming through. I’m not alone because I can hear others breathing, moaning, and crying. Not sure if they are part of the problem or in the same situation as me so I don’t let anyone know I’m awake, even though my body is hurting like hell. Shit, guess I should have taken my brother Ollie up on his ‘soldier training.’ He said every one of his people was trained to be able to stay still without moving for hours, if not days, while living on barely no food and minimal water.

God, just the thought of water has my mouth feeling even drier. Though the thought of food makes my stomach turn, so I probably have a concussion. Hearing crunching outside, I don’t brace but I’m on guard. I hear keys and then the door opens and I hear people walking in. Something lands pretty close to me and it moans. Again, I don’t respond.

“Bitch is still out. What the fuck, Cliff, how hard did you hit her?”

“Didn’t think it was hard, but who the fuck cares? Her being out makes it easier for us. Now what are we gonna do about Luni there? Bitch didn’t follow her orders. Can’t let that pass. We need to talk about this but until we figure it out, leave her with these other bitches. We got shit to do.”

Great, now I have to deal with a traitor too. I can’t let my guard down around her, no matter what. She took a beating and let them violate her, well, made it look like they did, so she’s not right in the head. I’m surprised because Stephanie and I both liked and took her at face value. We believed her. The door slams shut and the fear that was permeating the room settles down. Fuck, these women have been here a while. From what I’m feeling, they are going to need the help of the Devil’s Handmaidens if we get out of this.

Thinking about my club, my mind instantly goes to Tink. I hope and pray she’s going to be okay. Never in a million years did I think that Ash’s dad was that far gone. To shoot a woman who he watched grow up. Well, shouldn’t be too surprised, look who he’s hanging around with. I’m sure he’s done his own personal torture on some of the victims the brotherhood has had over the years. He was ready to kill little Joshua, and from what Ash said, it was Cliff who beat Patsy Woods to an inch of her life, while her father and brothers watched.

Another thought comes to mind. My own parents are probably losing their minds. First Bray and now me. I don’t want them to worry or suffer, but it’s out of my hands. With them on my mind, I drift and before I know it, I’m out again.

Not sure how long I was unconscious again but this time when I start to come to, I’m not on the ground but something is under me, maybe a sleeping bag. And there’s a blanket or something over me. I can hear whispers but can’t make a word out. My ears seem to be ringing so that doesn’t help. Someone is brushing the hair off my face. They have really rough hands but I know they are trying to either be nice or see if I’m awake.

“We know you’re awake, Brenna. Your breathing changed when you started to come to. No, don’t try to ignore us, just know we know. We moved you out of the doorway, put you in the far corner on one of the sleeping bags. You felt like ice so we threw a blanket on you. Sorry to say, none of that shit is very clean but it’s all we have. I know you won’t believe me but I’m sorry. I could tell you a ton of different lies, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve been here for years and have had three children. Lost one, but the other two are alive and well. The reason for that is I do what the men tell me to do without question. It’s how I’ve lived all these years. Many women and children have come and gone. And by gone, I mean they were killed. After I had my kids, didn’t want to orphan them, so when the opportunity came and some of us were offered the ability to spend more time with our babies if we cooperated with them, I jumped at the chance. So instead of seeing my babies once or twice a day, they were able to live in a rundown cabin with me and a couple of the other women who agreed to the terms. So you can judge me, but now, because of what I did, they might kill my children.”

Listening to Luni try to explain herself, honestly, even though I have a soft heart, I don’t care. At this moment, not only everyone in this piece of shit ‘cabin’ is at risk of being murdered but so are all the children. These assholes aren’t going to want to take the time to bring everyone along. I take in a deep breath and just when I get ready to lash out at Luni, I hear another voice.

“Luni can be a bitch but she’s not lying. Or not this time at least. We all have to do what we have to do to survive in this disgusting pit of hell. So we can either all fight against each other or we can band together and try to figure out how the hell to get out of here. I, for one, want to get out, find my kids, and hightail it away from the brotherhood. I’ll be glad if I don’t see any of them again, ever.”

One after another the women start whispering their names, how long they’ve been held against their will, and the story how each and every one of them have come to be prisoners of the Thunder Cloud Knuckle Brotherhood. I can’t believe the length of time some of them have been held captive. I open my eyes and see women in all shapes and sizes sitting in a semi-circle around me. I can’t make out their faces too well, though I can see they are two or maybe three deep. Trying to look around this cabin or building, looks to be on the larger size so that’s why they can cram so many into it.

I see a hand coming toward me and on instinct I go to cover my face. Someone pats my shoulder gently while the hand by my head opens and I see a piece of hard candy. I look up the arm to the woman offering it to me.

“We don’t have any water, but this will keep your mouth wet and the sugar will help with your blood sugar levels. Your eyes are glassy and your lips are dry. Promise it’s just candy, nothing else. Here, look.”

She takes the piece of candy out of the wrapper and puts it in her own mouth. She pushes it around a time or two then takes it out and offers it to me. At any other time, I’d never take it after it was in someone else’s mouth, but fuck, this isn’t a normal time. I slowly and tentatively reach for it. When I put it in my mouth all I taste is butterscotch, which is my favorite. All at once my childhood flashes before my eyes. All the times Mom would buy these for me. The goofy shit my siblings and I did. The way our parents, even though strict, were also so loving. As memory after memory runs through my mind’s eye, I don’t even realize that tears are running down my face. Not until a sob comes out of my mouth.

“That’s it, let it out. Once it’s out then let the anger take over. Brenna, right? I’m Olive, and trust me, we’ve all been where you are right now. Fear, tears, anger, and rage. As long as you don’t get to despair then surrender, because then they win. Okay, let’s back off, give Brenna some time. Let’s hope tonight isn’t a party night so we can get some sleep. Otherwise, it’s going to be a long night of pain.”

They all mumble something but I don’t care. I close my eyes and cuddle myself into a ball. This is not how my life was supposed to go, for Christ’s sake. All that we as a club have done over the years, isn’t it enough? Why do we all have to experience such devastating events? Life can suck big time, for sure.

I hear someone crawling toward me, but I still stay in a ball, head tucked down. I don’t want to make friends or be open to anyone here because I don’t know who to trust. A body gets close and I can feel someone breathing at the back of me. Again, not sure what’s going on, but if I have to, I’ll do what Shadow told us to do. Escape your body and what’s happening to save your mind. At the time I thought she was talking bullshit but if I make it out of here, she’ll be the first one I give a huge hug to. Then someone whispers in my ear so softly I barely hear the words.

“Brenna, it’s me, Olive. Give me your hand. No, don’t argue, please. You don’t have to trust me but even though you don’t know me, I want to get out of here as much as you do. You’re Bray’s sister, aren’t you? No, don’t say it. I was with her when that forest guy came in and saved her. And damn was I glad. They almost broke her so it was good he took her out of there. Though the rest of us suffered for days after because we didn’t fight them off and keep her with us. It was worth it, swear to Christ. So here, take this, put it under your head or keep it in your hand. Worst case, put it in your bra. Not your panties because if tonight’s a party night, those won’t stay on very long. They don’t care if the bra stays on but the panties always go.”

I reach behind me and feel her place something in my hand. It’s kind of long and when I run my finger over it, I can feel a sharp edge.

“It’s a small pocketknife. Saw it out on the table one day and stole it. Not the first one I took so you take that one. I have two more on me. Just in case you get the opportunity to use it, don’t hesitate. I’ve already sworn to myself that if it gets too bad here, I’m going to kill my kids then myself. No, don’t, I have four little girls. What do you think will come of them in this environment? Hell, thank God they are little because these men are truly evil. The things I’ve seen them do; I’ll have nightmares for the rest of my life if I ever get out of here.”

“Olive, if we get out, I have somewhere you and your girls can go. We’ll help you, I promise. And if I don’t get out but you do, still go to my club sisters, they will honor my promise.”

“Bray was so proud of you. She talked about you and the Devil’s Handmaidens Motorcycle Club all the time. Told me she wanted to try and join but she was weak, surely not as strong as her baby sister. And after what we’ve gone through, she didn’t think she’d be able to handle what you all do, ya know, saving victims. Thanks though for that. Means the world that even though you don’t know me, you care enough to offer. I’m going to ask you, if I don’t make it but my girls do, that you take them and help them. Promise, Brenna.”

“I do, Olive. I promise.”

She stays close and the last thing I remember is her turning over, her back to mine. Then I fade into the blackness again.