Chapter Seven

*Ragnar*

The sounds of the night serve as little distraction for my raging instincts. Nor does it heal the hurt that is brewing inside of my chest. Not even the quiet breaths of my sleeping mate can soothe me. Especially not after the way she reacted to finding out we are married, the human equivalent of mates. Her look of horror will be forever etched into my mind, as well as her withdrawal shortly after.

My hearts hurt. Try as I might, no amount of logic makes the sting go away. Though I recognize the absurdity of my reaction, I can’t temper it. My whole life I was fed this story of how meeting one’s mate might go. How you recognize them from scent and both of you would fall into a mating frenzy. The devotion that you would experience is worth dying for.

Yet here I lay, as far from her as possible because once she understood me, she was disgusted. We are vastly different. I am not ignorant of that fact, but I never expected disgust to come from my mate. As much as I hurt, I am equally determined to not let it affect how I feel for her.

Although she looks at me like one might a pest, I will protect her with the very last breath in my lungs. Rut her. Mark her. Make her ours no matter what. Do not let them take her! The insidious whispers of my beast become louder for a moment, using my pain as a distraction.

The desire to do as he wishes is strong, but that will cause the look on her face to turn to hatred. Disgust hurts enough. Hatred? Unfathomable. Our mate must come willingly. Her being taken from me is my biggest fear though, and my beast plays upon that. He calls all kinds of scenarios to mind, of other aliens snatching her away from me.

Since she is human, I cannot be sure she will rebuff them. Even my own kind would try to take her, try to woo her away from me. Though it is rare, there have been instances of a female turning out to be a mate to two males. The males involved would either fight to the death or share. Dread is like a claw rake against my insides. I will not share. Regreee is mine.

My beast growls in agreement, but the solution to our problem is not as simple as he would like me to believe. We cannot rut our mate without her permission, we cannot mark her. We must wait even though patience isn’t my strongest quality. Communication would come easy. You could share your words instead of being limited to the ones she gives you. We could hear her as we are meant to. The thoughts are like poison, tainting my mind.

Our methods may be different, but our desires are the same and right now. We both desire Regreee with every fiber of our body, mind, and soul. It goes beyond the physical. A bonded pair is inseparable. Minds, hearts and souls connected through space and time. There will never be a place she could go that I won’t follow, even death.

As the night grows around us, the temptation rises to an unbearable level. Her scent weaves a spell around me that seems to tighten more and more as time goes on. Eventually I find myself scooting closer to her, absorbing her warmth into myself. Like we are magnets, I am pulled closer and closer to her until I can finally touch her. Reverently I skim her back, careful of my claws.

Even in my shifted form I am massive compared to her, but it feels like ecstasy to be able to hold her in my arms. I am careful to not prick her skin, afraid she will wake and see me with those disappointed eyes once more. At the same time, the color of them enchants me until I’m not sure I’d care if she awoke so that I could stare into their depths.

My hand runs down her arm, to grasp her fingers in my own as I maneuver my body to cocoon her. My muscles lock with fear when she lets out a moan, her voice low and gravelly before she rolls over and curls into my chest, my scales pressed up against her cheek, palms flat on my chest.

Her skin is freezing where it touches my scales. Guilt and sadness fill me that she would have rather experienced a chill than touch me. To take advantage of my higher body temperature. A million different thoughts crowd into my brain until my head begins to ache. Intrusive thoughts. Terrible instincts. Demands driven by my beast.

Hoping to shut them out, I close my eyes and drift into semi-sleep. My senses are alert to danger, but my body and mind rest. Relaxing further, I fully wrap myself around Regreee, letting my warmth flow into her until we are one single unit. It isn’t even a fraction of what I feel for her, but in this moment it is enough.

The moment my mate’s breathing changes, I am alert once more. It feels as if we have been asleep for mere minutes but the faint light filtering into the building tells me it has been a few hours at least. My beast growls, prowling at the back of my mind, annoyed that it hasn’t been longer. Our time is to be cut shorter than either of us would like.

With a quick gasp of fear, my mate yanks herself away from me as if the contact with my scales has burned her. She crawls as fast as she can to the nearest stack of junk, turning to place her back against it and stare wide-eyed at me. It rankles under my scales, manifesting inside of me with an ugly emotion I don’t wish to acknowledge. It makes me want to scrub every inch of scales from my body, to alter myself so that she wouldn’t look upon me with disgust like she is right now.

Emotions begin to coalesce inside of me into a raging inferno. This very thing is what I have avoided for many years, to avoid the madness that befalls my people. To not let my beast win before we can be joined together as one. Of course, there is no way to communicate this to my mate. She simply stares at me, those judgmental green eyes like daggers to my hearts.

The need to escape, to run, wars with my need to stay and see that she is safe. There are monsters worse than me out there, and despite how horrendous she finds me I am the least of her worries. Torn as to what to do, I jump to my feet and move to the double doors, creaking them open just enough to look out and let my senses expand. When I can sense nothing, my decision is made. I need to get away from her before my emotions become too much to handle.

“I go to hunt.” I growl at her, motioning for her to stay before I leap out of the doors. Whether she understands me, I do not care. Even if she runs, I will find her. Her scent is burned into the very essence of me. It will never fade. Unerringly I would find her.

The shift into my beast form is instantaneous, the feeling of freedom helping to quell some of my baser emotions, grounding me, so that I can block those dangerous green eyes from my mind and focus. Scents fill my snout and sounds that would have been impossible to hear before are now strong and loud. The essence of nature is the distraction I need, and I let it weave its spell around me.

Creatures scurry through the forest, native and non-native alike. If I can do nothing else to provide for my mate but protect and feed her, I will do them both without fail. Settling for a native species, I find the scent trail of an herbivore. Deer. The word slithers from my translator as if I should know it.

The hunt is swift and so is my killing bite. The poor creature doesn’t even see me coming until it is too late. For just a moment I say a prayer of thanks to the Earthen gods before shifting and cleaning my kill. It won’t do for other predators to scent the blood and guts so close to our shelter. Cleaning it here will help to keep Regreee safe.

All the while I work, worry tickles the back of my mind. Will my mate run? Will she recognize that her best chance at survival is to stay with me? She is safe with me. Surely even if she doesn’t wish to be my mate, she will see that I am devoted to her. That I will stop at nothing to keep her alive. The buzz of thoughts makes it feel like an eternity before the carcass has been skinned, cleaned and prepared for me to carry.

Even now, as I get ready to shift back to my beast form, small aliens are drawn to the scent of the kill. Shifting quickly, I snatch up the deer and turn to make my way back to our shelter. Despite the interest in the blood, none challenge me as I leave and there are no sounds of pursuit. To be safe, I walk a different path than I originally took, making sure to stop and scent/listen as I go.

My hearts pound with fear and worry for my mate, ratcheting to an unbearable level as I approach the building. Her scent blooms around me though, strong enough that some of my unease melts away. The rest dissipates when she sticks the end of her weapon out of the gap in the doors, followed quickly by her stunning face.

Fear and worry chase across her alien features until she registers it is I that approaches. For just a moment, I see relief wash away her fear and hope reignite within my chest. Right before it is squashed into oblivion by the frown that follows on the heels of her relief. Rolling my big eyes, I shift, not even watching her face. I don’t need to see the horror written there.

The gods from her world and mine must have decided I didn’t need happiness. Surviving being kidnapped from my world, tortured for the scientific curiosity of another species, and being dropped onto a foreign land wasn’t penance enough. No, they had to make my mate hate me as well.

Not even bothering to greet her, I pull the doors open with my free hand and march inside. Pulling some of the odd sacks in front of me, I set the deer down upon them and get to work cutting pieces of meat from the body. As I work, I stoutly ignore my mate, not wishing to feel another stab to the hearts. She can hate me in silence. I will prepare this meal for her and see that she is fed whether she likes the one feeding her or not.

By the time I have taken all my aggression and anger out on the poor deer, all I am left with is a pile of sliced meat and a clean carcass. Once more I walk outside, bringing the skeleton with me. Shifting, I run it as far away as I can before returning to my mate’s side once more.