Chapter 29

TWENTY-NINE

W e stay at the party for a few hours after our bathroom break. Everyone knew what happened, even if they didn't say anything, which I'm thankful for. I don't know how Alek would have reacted.

We stumble from the house, wrangling a very drunk Lally and Tommy into the car, and head back to campus. We idle outside of the dorms as Tommy watches Lally fall to the ground for the second time. "She was so pretty. Such a pussy tease."

"Uh-huh, so you said. You're a mess, come on." Tommy waves at us, hoisting her over his shoulder. "See you later, guys. Have a good night." He winks as he heads toward our dorm, where he'll let Lally crash. Lally has always been a messy drunk, especially if she doesn't get her way, which she didn't tonight.

"I'm sorry she nearly vomited in your car." I wince.

"It's fine, baby," he replies, kissing my knuckles as he smiles. "Are you ready for bed?"

I swallow with a nod, knowing exactly what he means from the glint in his eyes and the wicked grin tugging at his lips. He promised to fuck me all night.

We barely park before he's out of the car, yanking me out of my seat and throwing me over his shoulder. He storms through the front door, slamming it and tossing me onto the sofa. "Alice is at her apartment tonight," he says, his eyes wild as he removes his shirt and shoves his jeans down. "And I can't wait. Bend over the couch, pretty boy."

My eyes slide down his body, and I note every hard inch of muscle leading to his huge, hard dick, his thick thighs begging to be grabbed as he stalks toward me.

"Evan," he warns, the streetlights shining behind him. The lights are on in here, casting a low light over the room, and there's a dangerous glint in his eyes, the one that makes me harder than hell.

"You want me, princess? Come and get me," I taunt as I back away.

"Evan," he snaps.

Laughing, I turn and race toward the kitchen. He catches me in the hall, throwing his weight into me so we hit the wall, denting it, but he doesn't care. He rips off my top before I escape, sliding away and darting into the kitchen. He follows, stalking me, and lifts my shirt to his nose, inhaling.

"When I catch you, pretty boy, I'm going to make you regret running."

"Oh, big bad Alek," I tease. "Too slow to catch weak rich boy."

He dives over the table I'm hiding behind. I skid around it and run back into the hall. This time, I make it to the stairs before I'm slammed into the steps. It takes my breath away, and the pictures on the wall rattle with the force. My boots are yanked off, then my pants before I turn and kick him away. He falls back a few steps, and I manage to get to my feet and turn, intending to race up the stairs, but his arm bands around me and flings me through the air.

I hit the couch none too gently, and I'm pushed down on it. My ass is yanked into the air, and I gasp when he spits, his saliva hitting my ass and dribbling between my cheeks.

"I warned you. I was going to be nice, but now I don't think I will. I think I'll make it hurt."

"Alek!" I gasp as he pushes my head down. I can barely breathe against the leather as he kicks my legs wider, and I feel his cock press against my ass. "Don't you dare—" My warning ends in a cry as he starts to push inside me.

He stretches me to the point of pain, making it hurt like he promised.

I should have known better than to taunt the devil.

I whimper as he pushes deeper into me, his thick cock invading me to the point of agony. "Shh," he murmurs, rubbing my back, and then he spits again and pulls out, wetting his cock and pushing back in. "Good boy, take all of me." His grip is bruising on my hips as he yanks me back, sliding those final few inches home.

The burn is too much, and I try to pull away, but he pulls me back, holding me prisoner, and then he fucks me with hard, brutal thrusts as tears fall from my eyes.

Softly, so different than the way he's fucking me, he brushes them away. "God, you feel so good, baby, so fucking good. Shh, I've got you."

I cry out as he tilts my hips up, finding that spot inside me that has my eyes crossing and agony mixing with such intense pleasure, I nearly black out.

"That's it, pretty boy, cry for me. Fuck, I love the way you look under me, stretched out like this. I love how tight your pretty ass is wrapped around my cock. You feel so fucking good." His hand slides down my back and cups my balls, squeezing before wrapping around my cock and stroking me as he pummels into my ass. "I want this all fucking day and night—you under me, over me, on me, riding me, taking me . . . letting me claim what's mine."

Fuck, I created a monster, but I can't seem to care as I push back, needing that sharp edge of pain only he seems to give me.

"Alek, princess, please," I beg, thrusting into his hand as he fucks my ass.

"Please, what? Tell me, Evan."

"Please fuck me harder," I implore, pushing backward. "I want it to hurt."

He bends over my back, letting me feel every hard inch of his skin as he powers into me, his hand tightening on my cock. "Like this, pretty boy? You want to feel me with every step you take? Want me to ruin you?"

"Yes, yes, yes," I chant, my voice tight as pleasure spirals through me so strongly, I struggle not to fall.

My cock jerks in his grip as I bite down on the couch, muffling my cries as he hammers into me. His teeth find my neck and sink in, marking me. The sharp edge of pain blends with pleasure until I can't take it anymore. My balls draw up, and my cock swells in his grip.

"That's it, baby, come for me," he orders against my neck.

With a gasp, I fall over the edge. Ropes of cum splatter my chest, his hand, and the leather as I shake and jerk from the ecstasy racing through me. He continues to fuck my tightening ass, his crooning voice in my ear. He drags his hands over every inch of me as I whimper.

"Alek."

"Shh, you can take it. I want you to come again." He turns my head, kissing me deeply and swallowing my moans as his thrusts become slow and rolling. Slowly, my cock starts to harden again. My need for him is great, and I push back to meet him, nipping his lips in the dark.

"There you are, pretty boy," he praises as he leans back, wrapping his hand around my throat and dragging me up to my knees as he pummels my ass. His other hand slides down my abs to grip my dick again, working it hard and fast with my own cum. His massive cock swells inside me, and I know he's close, his breathing heavy in my ear.

"Come for me," he orders, slamming into me so deeply it hurts, hitting that spot that has me bellowing in ecstasy. As he wanted, I come again as he groans my name, pushing deeper still, and I feel his hot cum fill me as his hand tightens on my throat, pressing me against him so neither of us have an inch of space.

He turns my head with his hand and drops a kiss onto my lips. "Good boy, now let's clean you up and get you in my bed so I can start all over again."

The wicked promise sends a shiver of need through me, one I know he controls.

Alek is sleeping soundly on his back, with one arm behind his head, and the other gripping me tightly, his leg thrown over mine. The sheets are pooled low, showing off his abs and muscles, and I get distracted for a moment by his beauty before I focus on his face.

I can't sleep, unease making my mind turn.

He struggled tonight. He didn't want anyone to know we were together, yet he got jealous. That's a good sign, right? It leaves me feeling . . . vulnerable. Will he ever be able to admit what we are? I thought so, but I'm scared he won't. I'm scared I'll always be a secret in the dark he reaches for. The brutal truth is, though, that I don't think I could ever get over Alek Anders. He showed up in my life like a whirlwind, and I might have acted like it, but I never hated him. I wanted him, and I think I always will. There's something in this broken, brutal man that calls to me and makes me want to fix him, to love him.

I'm starting to love him. Maybe that's why I'm sitting here with fear pounding in my chest—because I'm falling in love with Alek, but I don't know if he could ever love me or accept that he loves me.

Where does that leave me?

I'm so scared to fall alone, afraid he won't be there to catch me and will turn away from me like everyone else. I'm terrified I still won't be enough to be loved. Maybe I'm more fucked up from my past than I realized, but as I stroke his peaceful face, I can't help the terror that races through my blood.

"Please love me," I whisper. "Please don't be like everyone else. I don't think I could stand it."

Everyone I love leaves and hurts me.

Will he be different?

Laying my head on his chest, I close my eyes and fight back tears as he sighs and wraps his arms around me, holding me tight without even realizing it, and for the first time in my life, I feel hope.

Hope that we can face this together.

That hope is crushed early the next morning—no, not crushed, shattered, stomped on, and left behind like a glittering pool of glass, the shards so sharp they cut into me, making me bleed as I stare at the man I care for.

Sitting at Alek's table, I scroll through my school emails when it pops up.

I quickly scan the text and sit up straighter, my hand almost shaking as I reread it to make sure what I'm seeing is correct.

"You okay, rich boy?" Alek murmurs, his foot locked around mine under the table as he eats. He pauses, looking me over. "You look like an excited, yappy dog about to pee."

"Lovely," I mutter, sliding my phone over, excitement racing through me along with trepidation, although I don't know why.

He reads it swiftly before pushing it back across to me without saying a word.

"Well?"

"No."

"No?" I repeat, blinking. "No what?"

"You need my permission. That's why you showed me, right?" he asks, shoving toast into his mouth. "No."

"Alek, my professor wants to put my images in the end of term showcase. That's a really big deal. Industry professionals will be there?—"

"Even more of a reason for me to say no," he snaps, his fork clattering to his plate as I stare into his angry eyes.

"You're angry about this," I murmur.

"I'm not." He sighs. "I'm just—no, okay?"

Now I know why I was worried, because I knew how he would react. I knew he wouldn't want this. If I were a girl, would he have the same response?

"This is important, Alek," I whisper, clutching my phone as he stands and throws his plate in the sink. His back is to me, his hands braced on the counter. "This is a really big deal. They never choose first years for this. It could be what makes my career, and it makes me even happier that it's with pictures of you . . . someone I care about."

"I don't want that many people to see me like that," he mutters, shame lacing his tone.

"Like what?" I ask as I stand.

"Jesus, Evan, just fucking no!" he yells as he turns, his fists clenched at his sides. "You know what they'll think, what they'll all say." His eyes are wide now, panicked.

Rounding the table slowly, I cover his hands. "Hey, it's okay. They won't think anything at all. They'll be awed by you, just like I am. It's going to be okay. Can you just think?—"

"I said no," he snaps, pulling his hands from me and pushing me back in the process. I hit the table hard, rattling the pots as he stares at me. "Can't you respect what I want? I did it for you, not for everyone else. Doesn't the fact that I don't want people to see me like that matter to you?"

"If I were a girl showing those photos, would you care?" I retort, and he freezes but doesn't reply. "So it isn't because of what they are, but who took them. Is that right? You think they'll see my name attached and assume you're my boyfriend. So fucking what if they do? Can't I show you off?"

"Just fucking stop." He pinches his nose. "I'm going to be late for work. Catch the bus or take a taxi today." He stomps upstairs, and I watch him go.

My hope shatters around me since I just got my answer.

Alek Anders will never want the world to know about us, too scared of what it means.

So where does that leave us?

It leaves me a devastated mess in his kitchen, realizing I fell in love with a man who will never love me the way I do him.