7. Karmen

7

KARMEN

S taring at myself in the full-length mirror, I almost felt… normal. Not whole, not quite, and still haunted by lost girlish dreams and longings for silly things like pink dresses with ladybugs. But better.

The full skirt swished about my legs as I slowly turned around to look back over my shoulder. My flaming red hair falling down my back definitely clashed with the bright pink, but I couldn't make myself care. The bodice hugged my curves, maybe a little too snugly across the bust, but again, I didn't care enough to change into something else.

Marcus found some red flats the same color as the ladybugs that didn't pinch my toes. There were several other pairs with pointy spikes to add inches to my height, but I didn't trust my ability to walk in them. Not for this first meeting with my consiliarius.

I wasn't even sure what that word meant. Supposedly, she was a person I could trust as implicitly as I trusted my Blood, even though she was a human. Someone to manage all my affairs, down to clothes and food and where we lived. I loved my home here, but it wasn't completely real. It felt safe—since no one else could open the portal to reach us—but as a result, it was disconnected from reality. Time didn't flow the same way here. The sun didn't rise and set regularly. I could imagine a fountain or singing birds, but it didn't exist until I thought of it. The birds weren't living, breathing creatures.

Which made me feel like I'm not real too.

"What's Dagny like?"

"I only spoke to her briefly but she was well-mannered, soft-spoken, and efficient," Marcus replied. "Vlad and the Scotsman spent more time with her than I did."

The door opened, and both of them stepped inside, drawn simply by my attention on them. Though I could only stare a moment, startled by the change in their appearance.

When Vlad had first taken human shape here, he'd worn leather pants like Sunzi and a simple white linen shirt with long, full sleeves and a loose, open neck. Now, he wore snug black pants and a short-sleeved, thin shirt. So did the Scotsman. Both men still wore their leather scabbards and weapons over the top, a strange mix of ancient and modern.

But good. More than good, actually. I let my gaze linger on them, really seeing their human bodies, so different from the skeletal Soldiers of Light from Heliopolis. They'd been trapped far longer than me as Ra's eternal guards, but until we'd come here to my portal, I'd never actually seen them. I'd never known their names or personalities. I'd kept myself completely numb and blank and empty. For centuries.

Vlad was taller than my other Blood with long, lean legs that went on forever in the black material. His eyes were almost as dark with a burning edge in his gaze that cut as surely as his sword. As if he tottered on the edge of madness. After being forced to serve in Heliopolis for so long, who could blame him?

The Scotsman had a more stoic, grim look on his face. As if he'd seen so many horrible things that nothing would ever surprise him again.

Same. Though the deep grooves around his mouth and the flinty bleakness in his eyes made me want to smooth my fingers over his jaw and try to make him smile.

"I think you'll like her, Your Majesty," Vlad said. "She has the calm, steadying manner of an older female. Kevin's been helpful, definitely, but he's also excitable and quick. He was also called back to New York City for Isador business. I think her methodical pace will agree with you, though she's imminently capable at getting things done."

"Agreed," the Scotsman added. "She didn't have to raise her voice to get people moving. Everyone at the hotel deferred to her and eagerly took her orders."

"Everyone? How many people are there?"

"There were five other humans in the kitchen," Vlad replied. "Smoak wasn't able to come yet. Evidently the Isador queen couldn't spare her yet."

My stomach churned at the thought of one of my Blood going away on business for even a day. "Maybe we should take Kevin up on his offer to visit House Isador."

I caught Sunzi's gaze in the mirror behind me. His facial expression didn't change but his bond firmed to forged steel with a wicked sharp edge. "Only if you're absolutely sure, my queen. I don't relish entering another queen's nest blindly."

I couldn't help but remember standing outside of Helayna's nest, barefoot and dressed in a hospital gown. Confused and scared without any real idea of what being an Aima queen even meant. It could have gone so wrong. Helayna might have made me her sibling, subjugated to her will by a blood oath I didn't understand.

Instead, she'd offered me a place to stay—even though the sunfires almost destroyed her childhood home. Both Helayna and Shara had come to stand with me against Sepdet. They'd locked arms with me despite the nasty words he'd hurled at me. In turn, they'd trusted me to handle the sunfires and break them free of Sepdet's hold. They didn't know what kind of person I was. I could have used all the sunfires' blazing power and blasted both queens while they were weakened by the long fight.

I didn't know much about our kind of power yet, but Helayna had leaned heavily on her Blood and her brother by the time I arrived. Even the Isador queen had been pale, her eyes shadowed with weariness. Blood had streaked her wrists, and many if not all of her Blood had bites on them. She'd been forced to feed on several of them to keep the shields up until I came and addressed Sepdet's threat.

They'd barely been able to hold off the sunfires until I arrived.

My sunfires.

If I had to fight my way out of trouble, I didn't doubt my ability to blast anything and everyone with the might of an exploding supernova. Though I might obliterate myself and my Blood at the same time.

"Was Detective Harris there?"

"Not to our knowledge, Your Majesty," the Scotsman replied. "Neither was the wolf king."

I turned slowly again and ended up facing Sunzi. "Do I look presentable?"

He crossed his arms over his chest and bowed at the waist, his head low. "Your radiance is unmatched, Your Majesty."

"That sounds like something one of Ra's priests would say."

Sunzi's head snapped up, his dark eyes meeting mine. "Forgive me, my queen, for bringing back any ill feelings."

I stepped closer to him and lightly pressed my palm to his cheek. "No ill feelings. It just sounded a bit too formal for my taste."

He turned his head enough to press a kiss against my palm. The softness of his lips and the heat of his mouth made my throat tighten. "I could stand guard like a silent statue for another millennia as long as I could gaze at you, Karmen, my queen. Is that less formal?"

Sparks flared in my bloodstream, flushing my cheeks. Though I couldn't stop the widening smile of pleasure his words gave me. "Are you going to change into human clothes? Or will you go as a Soldier of Light?"

"Whatever my queen wills."

Maybe it'd be smarter to keep their secret about shifting from skeletons to human forms, but I was too curious to resist. "Your queen would be pleased to see you in the same black clothes, but only if you're comfortable to do so."

"We brought a variety of sizes in both jeans and T-shirts," Vlad said. "They're downstairs on the table."

The faint tightening of skin around Sunzi's eyes was the only sign of his discomfort. But it was enough for me. "Never mind."

"I don't mind changing, my queen. I only regret leaving your side for even a single moment."

"Can one of you bring some of the clothes for Sunzi to try on?"

The words barely left my mouth before the Scotsman whirled and strode out the door. "At once, my queen."

In the few minutes it took him to fetch the clothes and return, it occurred to me that Sunzi would be disrobing. Nearby. Where I would see. If I wanted.

And I wanted.

I'd been naked most of our time together and honestly hadn't even thought about it. When they became my Blood and transformed back to their human forms, we'd been here, in my magical nest. I hadn't deliberately set the intention for my Blood to wear what I assumed to be warrior clothes. Leather pants, generic linen shirts and tunics, leather straps and harnesses for their weapons. It'd been completely natural at that time, especially as I adjusted to their presence nearby. In my bed. By my side.

Sunzi didn't say anything as the Scotsman's light, quick footsteps up the stairs neared. But there was something about the way he looked at me, his eyelids slightly heavy, veiling his eyes. The tilt of his head, his shining black hair falling against his cheek. Drawing my gaze down the long column of his throat. The memory of his skin against my lips, soft and hot and so alive.

A dare, perhaps subconscious on his part.

See me. See the man. Look at what your magic has wrought in me.

The Scotsman stepped back into the room with several items of clothing in his arms, and as he neared Sunzi, I very deliberately willed his warrior garb to disappear.

SUNZI

Her eyes flared with golden starbursts, and suddenly I felt air on my skin.

With a thought, she stripped me bare. Physically. Emotionally. I stood before her naked and fully erect, an unfortunate side effect I hadn't been able to quell since I'd pierced her skin with my fangs and held her flesh in my mouth.

Mentally, I dangled off the edge of a cliff, holding onto the edge by a thumbnail. I couldn't recall ever being so out of control and off balance. So emotional.

Emotions were a sign of weakness. A crack my enemy could use against me.

Sunfire essence rippled inside me, mixing with my queen's blood. Creating a maelstrom of blazing energy that demanded its freedom. Flames licked through my veins, stirring long-dead physical responses that rocked me to my core.

I fought to maintain the reserved, controlled facade of her closest Blood. Steady, calm, not overly affectionate or demanding of her attention in any way. She needed patience. Comfort. Casual touching that was soothing and safe, not overtly sexual or intimate.

But I couldn't deny the physical response of my new body. I wanted her with a piercing urgency I'd never dreamed possible. Dread tightened my chest, shredding my organs with vicious talons. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her. Touch her in a way that terrified her, or worse, made her experience a memory of what she'd suffered in Heliopolis. I couldn't bear to damage her fragile trust.

She needed me to be a guard. A protector. A leader.

Not a lover.

Even though her gaze slid over me like a searing tendril of flame. She didn't turn away or avert her eyes. In fact, she stepped closer, her sultry scent only stirring my lust higher. A rough sound escaped my throat, and I squeezed my eyes shut. Hands fisted at my side, I quivered with the effort of holding myself still while she looked her fill.

"Forgive me, my queen," I rasped out, my words barely intelligible.

"For what?"

"This lack of control." I swallowed hard, grinding my teeth together. "My response is intolerable."

Her fingertips brushed down my arm. "I quite like your response."

Wait. What? I had to be mistaken. I cracked my eyes open enough to search her face, looking for a trace of dread or fear or hesitancy.

She licked her lips, giving me a glimpse of the tips of her fangs.

Hunger. She looked at me and hungered.

"I've never cared to look at a man's body before. I didn't dare look at him for fear my will to survive would wither away and die before he even touched me." Her fingers flitted across my chest, bumping down my ribs as if she wanted to count them. "I certainly never wanted to touch him. Is this alright with you, Sunzi?"

"You can do anything you wish to me, my queen."

She pressed her palm against my abdomen, her eyelashes fluttering softly to veil her eyes. The pads of her fingers glided back and forth with delicate friction, testing the texture of my skin against her hand. Up over my pectoral and shoulder of my other arm, her hand trailing as she circled me.

Heat rose from my skin, glistening with sweat. My heart thudded a frantic rhythm as if I'd run for miles instead of merely standing still while she examined me. The effort of restraining myself was more strenuous than a week-long battle against my greatest enemy—but also my greatest victory.

She touched me. Without fear. Without hesitation. I'd damn my soul straight back to the bottom of Ra's molten gold lake before I'd scare her.

Her breath fluttered across my upper back a moment before her lips pressed to my skin. Not to feed. A kiss. A voluntary touch.

My heart shuddered with a silent exultant roar.

Her arms slid around my waist, and she leaned more fully against me, pressing her cheek to my back. Her hands lightly stroked up and down my chest. "Are you sure this is alright? Your heart feels like it's going to explode."

Vlad chuckled. "That won't be what explodes."