6. Karmen

6

KARMEN

E nclosed on all sides, I felt protected and safe enough to sleep a little, though the cramps kept me from a deep, restful slumber. I had no idea how long it might take for the pregnancy to pass. Mentally and emotionally, I already felt better, but physically, I felt drained and weak, like when I'd first woken up in the hospital.

My brain was still fuzzy when I stirred back awake. A soft blanket covered me, and I was alone in the bed, though I felt Sunzi close by. A pang stabbed through my heart. A longing for his arms and chest against my face. Perhaps that was why I'd woken up—my body missed his presence beside me.

My nose twitched at an unusual smell. I didn't immediately recognize it—but it made my stomach growl. I opened my eyes and started to sit up.

Immediately, Sunzi fluffed the pillows so I could sit up better, and then Vlad set a tray on my lap.

"What's all this?"

"The Scotsman and I went to meet Dagny Sunna, Your Majesty," Vlad replied. "She arranged for a variety of human foods to be prepared for you to try."

"It's safe," Sunzi added. "We've sampled it all, and enough time has passed with no ill effect."

My gaze jerked up to his. "I didn't even think of that. Are you worried someone might try to poison us?"

"Just a precaution. I trust nobody outside of this portal, Your Majesty. Not when it comes to your safety. Not even your so-called consiliarius. Though so far, she appears to be at least competent and expedient."

A warm sweetness spread through my veins like molten honey. "Karmen, remember? I don't care about formalities."

His eyes crinkled slightly, and he dipped his head in a short acquiescent nod. "Of course, Karmen, my queen."

"What even is all of this?"

Marcus pointed at each item and named them. "Smoked salmon, scrambled eggs, bagels, sliced melon, a soft cheese—though I can't recall its exact name—orange juice, and both tea and coffee. We have full containers of both, plus sugar and cream if you'd like."

Automatically, my hand picked up a utensil—though I didn't recognize it immediately. I must have eaten food before I was taken. My mouth watered, but not like when I tasted my Blood. My stomach was definitely interested in the food, though I couldn't remember if I'd eaten any of these things before or not. So strange. My body knew what to do—even if I didn't remember.

"Did you all eat?"

"We did," Marcus assured me. "Dagny has taken over the remnant of the hotel for House Sunna, worked a miracle to repair the kitchen, and brought in a whole team to prepare crates of food. It seemed far too much but once we opened it, it was a free for all. Several are still eating."

I scooped up some of the fluffy, yellow-colored eggs and tentatively tasted them. Creamy, peppery but not overly so. Somehow buttery and rich too. The tang of smoky salt and fish blended with the soft cheese on the delightfully chewy bread circle. I'd had tea with Helayna so I recognized the fragrant steaming drink, slightly lighter than the other cup that must be coffee. The orange juice tasted like a sweet, cold sunburst.

My eyes watered at the sensations exploding on my tongue. Evidently Aima didn't require such sustenance, at least in Heliopolis, but I loved the tastes and textures of food. The act of eating. While my body had been perfectly happy with my Bloods' eager sacrifice, I couldn't deny a rippling surge of energy pulsing through me. Blood might be enough to sustain us, but we could make use of human food too.

Which made it more complicated to choose a permanent location for my home. I loved the security of my former childhood home outside of time and space in Sunzi's portal, but perhaps complete exclusion from humanity wasn't the best choice.

"Tell me about her," I said in between bites.

"She appears to be much older than the Isador consiliarius," Marcus replied. "She didn't defer to Kevin, but she seemed very open to his recommendations. I'm not sure if she believes his queen to be more powerful than you, and so she was showing respect, or if she hasn't served in her role long despite her age."

"Kevin said she's a great-granddaughter of a Sunna consiliarius who would have been alive when I was taken. He mentioned a legacy but I'm not sure what that means."

"We hoped you might know," Sunzi admitted.

I shook my head since my mouth was full.

"She's eager, like he said on the phone," Marcus continued. "I didn't see her initial reaction, but Vlad said her eyes were as big as saucers when she saw Soldiers of Light step out of a portal that opened in midair. Though to her credit, she didn't flee or faint with shock. At least half of the hotel burned down, but she had a working kitchen running with at least a handful of humans preparing food. I don't know for sure what the hotel kitchen looked like before the fire, but I'd be surprised if it had so much equipment. So she must have made arrangements to renovate on short notice."

I'd only been at the out-of-the-way hotel a few hours, but I didn't remember seeing anything about a kitchen. "You said she took over the hotel? What does that mean?"

"She bought it. Well, you bought it. House Sunna, that is."

My eyes flared. "I don't recall House Sunna being wealthy. This house isn't overly large or grand, and it wasn't even ours. I don't remember where we lived before, but this house was Aunt Lynnea's. Mama and I were guests."

"But even a modest house centuries ago could be worth a great deal more now, my queen," Sunzi said.

"If the number of garments she sent is any indication, House Sunna is quite wealthy now," Marcus added.

My mouth hung open for a moment. Clothes. Like real clothes. Not a hospital gown or Eivind's castoffs. A spurt of excitement surprised me. "For me? Can I see them?"

Marcus moved toward the door. "Absolutely. We'll bring in a couple of racks for you to look through. But if you don't like any of these items, we'll send them back and try again."

I wasn't prepared for him and Vlad to push huge racks of clothing into the room. While here in my former childhood house, I could imagine myself wearing anything from armor to a grand ball gown. But once I stepped back into the real world, those clothes would disappear. Plus, my imagination only went so far. I only had the vaguest memories of what regular clothing even looked like, other than the simple clothes Helayna and Shara had worn.

Entranced by so many options, I completely forgot about the tray on my lap until my knee jostled the teacup with a clatter. Sunzi lifted the tray away so I could scramble off the bed. At first, my eyes could only take in the riotous colors and patterns of fabric.

Heaven. Even if none of the items actually fit. Because not a single piece was the horrid gold from Heliopolis.

Choice. For the first time in my life. I could put on something that pleased me . Long, elegant gowns. Flowy skirts. Incredibly soft textures, some fluffy and others silky to the touch.

"There's plenty more," Marcus said hurriedly. "Trousers and sweaters and pieces I don't know the proper name for. Plus boxes of underthings and several pairs of shoes for you to try so we know your size. I'm so sorry, Your Majesty. I simply guessed on what would fit appropriately. I must be terribly out of practice."

I dragged my gaze away from a cheerful pink dress dotted with bright red ladybugs. "What? No. I love everything."

"But you're crying," he said miserably.

Startled, I touched my wet cheeks and brushed tears away. I made a raw, ragged sound that wasn't quite a laugh, but it was closer. "I'm out of practice too. I love everything. I can't wait to try every single piece on."

He gave me a relieved grin. "I told her nothing gold. Not even a golden button."

"Good." I pulled the pink dress off the rack and held it up to me. "Is this too much with my bright hair?"

"Nothing is too much for you, Your Majesty."

"Karmen," I said firmly.

He bowed formally at the waist. "Karmen, my queen, it will be an honor to assist you into your selection. Though if I may make a suggestion?"

I nodded. "Of course."

"Undergarments will help you wear the items longer without staining."

I blinked several times, trying to make sense of his words. Then it dawned on me.

Blood. I was still bleeding between my legs.

Was that a good thing? Or a sign of trouble? I had no idea. I knew nothing about our kind and how we reproduced. It seemed like a great deal of blood to me, but eliminating anything of Ra's would cost me. Greatly.

Helayna had taught me to call my blood back to me, but if Ra's essence tainted this blood, I didn't want to pull it back inside of me by accident. I could give it to the sunfires again. It seemed a shame to waste it all, and they wouldn't be negatively affected by anything of his.

Closing my eyes, I focused on my blood. It glowed in my mind like a red star, sending lighter streamers of energy up into the air. I gathered all the blood from my body and the bed, pushing it into a smaller ball that would fit into the palm of my hand.

I reached for Quasar, the primary sunfire consciousness. :Can you absorb this?:

The solar horse-demon screamed in my mind, his hooves thundering closer. I pushed the ball through the window, and he caught it in his mouth as he galloped away. My blood rippled through his fiery body, expanding like an exploding supernova. Blazing brighter, red to pure gold and then white hot with an icy blue center before winking out.

Holding my hand out toward Sunzi, I touched his bond. :Can you scan me now?:

:Absolutely.: His fingers wrapped around mine and his bond swelled inside of me. I could almost feel him moving through me, even though all he touched was my hand. A bright, warm glow flowed through my abdomen, gently looking for the spark we'd seen before.

:I see nothing, my queen.:

:Not even a trace?:

It felt like he shifted my organs aside, slithering closer, touching the inside of me. My breath shuddered out, but I tightened my grip on his fingers. It wasn't painful or invasive, just strange.

:Nothing that isn't you.:

I sagged against him, his other arm wrapping around me. "I'm finally free."