5. Tanner

FIVE

TANNER

My mind is going a million miles a minute as I get ready to head back over to the Valentines' house. I've spent the entire day thinking about the pros and cons of what I proposed to Grace earlier, and unfortunately for me, the pros won out. Obviously, she's my best friend's sister and I already know he would fucking murder me if he knew I touched her, but other than that, I can't think of another good reason why I shouldn't be the one to do this with her.

She made it clear earlier that this was something she wanted to explore, so I feel like it's the right thing to do to offer to be the one that she uses while she learns. I want her to do this in the safest possible way, and I just don't trust anybody else to take care of her the way I would. The more I went back and forth on it, the more I realized that I'm doing the right thing here. Of course, we'll have to keep things a secret for as long as this is going on, because the last thing I want is to lose Riggs over any of this. If I was in love with Grace and planned on being with her, I might risk it all, but that isn't what we're doing here. I'm just providing her with a safe place to explore the things she's curious about. Plus, I'll be headed to the draft next spring and Grace will only be finishing up her freshman year at college. Out of all the things I'm uncertain about with this plan, I'm confident that we'll be able to keep our feelings out of it. We have to.

Now that my mind is made up, I need to figure out how I'm going to do this. Obviously, Grace wants a man to be dominating, so I know I can't go in there and ask what she wants to do. I have to demand it. The thought makes my cock thicken inside my briefs.

I've been with girls who liked it a little rough before. I've pulled hair and delivered a few light spankings. I've held wrists above heads. But that was all at their request. They wanted it and I gave it. With Grace, it might be different. I don't even know what kind of experience she has sexually. She's eighteen and drop-dead gorgeous. I know she's dated a couple guys from the football team over the past year or so, one of which seemed pretty serious, so I'm sure she's done stuff, but how much is the question. Where do I start? This is something we'll need to talk about before anything goes down because the one thing I absolutely won't do is hurt her. Physically or emotionally. That's the whole reason I proposed this in the first place—to protect her. And I'll cut my own dick off before I ever cause her pain.

I twist the doorknob, exiting the house and crossing from my yard into hers. I'm slammed by nerves as I hit the first step of the porch, but I shove it down. I have to stay in control here. I can't show any signs of hesitation or fear. If I let my mask slip, the whole illusion will be ruined for her.

I take a breath, shaking out my shoulders and lifting my chin before reaching out and ringing the doorbell. Normally, I'd just walk in like I have every other time in the past twenty-one years, but for some reason, this feels different. Maybe I'm trying to make things less personal so we can keep what we're about to do separate from our normal relationship. I realize how dumb that is, because the reality of the situation is that once Grace and I cross this line, we can't go back. We'll always have this secret.

I can hear her on the other side of the door as she approaches. I'm half-expecting her to trip again because, despite her name, she's always been anything but graceful. As a matter of fact, Riggs and I have gotten plenty of laughs at her expense due to her incoordination. Of course, I always make sure she isn't actually hurt, but then I can't stop myself from grinning at how adorably clumsy she always is.

She makes it through the entryway unscathed before pulling the door open. "Why didn't you just come in?" she asks, her brows pulled together in confusion.

I stare like a fucking idiot, taking in her outfit. She's wearing a pair of cut-off jean shorts that are so short, I'd be telling her to march her ass right back upstairs and change if it were anyone else but me seeing her in them. The white frays tickle her creamy thighs when she pops a hip out, her sassy attitude on full display. I move my eyes up, dragging them across her stomach and up toward her tits, which are only covered by the small triangles of her pale blue bikini top. I've seen Grace in this exact outfit hundreds of times. So why, all of a sudden, is my throat closing up, making it impossible to swallow?

"You're being weird," she says, pulling my attention back to her face, making me painfully aware of the fact that I have no idea how long I was blatantly staring at her body like a fucking creep. I need to pull myself together. This is the same girl that I taught to throw a punch when Foster Bailey kept throwing sand in her hair on the playground in second grade. That little fucker had it coming when she finally hit her limit and knocked two of his baby teeth right out.

"Where's the rest of your outfit?" I ask, trying my best not to let her know how her bare skin is affecting me right now.

She rolls her eyes. "Seriously, Tanner? I'm an adult, in case you hadn't noticed. I can wear whatever I want. Plus, it was hot out and I was swimming earlier. Is that alright with you, daddy ?" she says, a small smirk tipping up one corner of her mouth.

Motherfucking fuckety-fuck. How is she so calm and collected and I'm sweating in places I didn't even realize you could sweat from? It's like the roles are already reversed and she's in charge while I stand here silently.

Nope. We can't have that. If I can't give her what she's looking for, she's going to end up in California being tied up by some guy named Starshine who has a soul patch and survives on a diet of tofu and rainwater. Not fucking happening.

I collect myself, erasing the space between us in three large strides. My six-four frame towers over her by nearly a foot as I wrap my hand around her throat and lock my eyes onto hers, which are now the size of saucers. I lean in, feeling her small pants puff against my lips as I speak lowly. "Not really into the whole daddy kink thing, Bunny. But you can call me sir ." I definitely don't miss the way her body melts into mine as I hold her neck. I can feel the way she trusts me, which just solidifies the fact that it has to be me that does this with her. And even though the scent of her vanilla perfume is making my head spin, I lean in even closer, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. It would normally be an innocent gesture, but this one feels monumental. Like things between us are shifting into completely forbidden territory. But we're here, and we're doing this, so I may as well give her everything I can.

Grace looks up at me through her long, thick lashes. I can feel her throat work to swallow under my hand as I wait to see if she'll speak. She doesn't disappoint when she finally does.

"Yes, sir," she breathes quietly. My cock goes from six to fucking twelve at the sound, and it takes everything in me not to pin her to the wall and kiss her so hard that she'll feel me for weeks. But I can't do that yet. Not until we discuss things a little more. So, as much as I don't want to, I step back, creating enough space for us both to collect our thoughts.

"We need to talk about this before we jump in," I say, kicking off my shoes and using my foot to push them onto the mat by the door. "I will remain in charge here, so don't think for a second that you'll be getting away with trying to tell me what to do. But I need to know what you've done before and what you have or haven't liked. I want this to be enjoyable for you." The thought of hearing how far she's gone with those dickbags she dated makes me want to put my fist through a wall, but I need every shitty detail if I'm going to do this right. "So, tell me everything," I say, stepping a little closer because I can't help myself. "Tell me what they did to this tight little body, Bunny," I grit out through clenched teeth.

I wait for her answer, watching as she visibly stiffens. I also notice how she's looking everywhere but at me, which is a total one-eighty from when she was jokingly calling me daddy five minutes ago.

"Come on, Grace," I urge. "Don't clam up on me now. If we're going to do this, you can't be afraid to talk about your past experiences with me." Before I even realize what's happening, she turns, taking off toward the stairs. I dart after her, reaching her just as she hits the bottom step, and wrap my hand around her arm, halting her.

"Let go, Tanner," she says, trying to pull away, but I don't let her. Her back is still to me, her eyes locked on the top of the stairs like there's nowhere else she wants to be than up there, away from me and this conversation.

"Hey," I say, still firmly gripping her arm. "What the fuck is going on? Did somebody hurt you?" Every bad scenario goes through my head as I think of how I'm going to murder whoever touched her in a way she didn't like. Fuck a career in the NFL. I'm going to prison for life, and it'll be worth it.

She steps back onto the hardwood floor before she turns to me. The longer she stands there with her eyes glued to her feet, the more I feel my blood boiling in my veins. Just as I'm ready to run out the door and beat the shit out of every guy I've ever seen her within ten feet of, she finally answers me.

"Nobody touched me. Like, ever ," she whispers. A wave of relief washes over me until I go over exactly what she just said. Because the way I heard it can't be right.

"One more time," I say. "Because you're making it sound like you're a virgin." I need her to clear this up because if that's really the case, it changes everything.

She finally looks up at me, trying her best to stand tall. The confident expression on her face is fake, but it's a hell of a lot better than her running away from me. "Well, I am," she says. "And it's not a big deal."

I can't fucking believe it. I always hoped she'd stay a virgin forever, mainly because I know there isn't a man on this earth that could ever be worthy of her, but I didn't actually expect that she would. Grace was one of the most popular girls in her grade. She was the homecoming queen and captain of the cheerleading team. She never pulled anything less than straight A's and she's always been so kind to everyone. I just don't understand how she's never been touched before. I'm certain it's not from a lack of options because Riggs and I spent the better part of our time at Hope Harbor High warning guys away from her. But after we graduated, I figured she'd have her pick of anyone there.

"First of all," I say softly, "it's a very big deal. You've obviously hung on to your virginity this long for a reason. So, why now? And why jump into the deep end of the pool without even telling me? What if I hadn't found out and ended up hurting you?"

She rolls her eyes, pulling her arm from my loosened grip. "You would never hurt me. And it isn't a big deal to me. It's not like I was saving myself for my future husband. I came close to doing it a few times, but I chickened out at the last second. It just never felt right. And now I just want to get it over with."

She turns, walking toward the living room and plopping down on the couch like she didn't just drop a bomb on me. It takes me a minute, but I finally follow her, sinking into the plush cushions before rubbing my hands down my face. Everything in me is saying abort mission , but with the info Grace just gave me, I feel like the stakes are even higher. She said she came close to having sex before, but that it didn't feel right. Then, in the next breath, she said confidently that she knew I wouldn't hurt her. She wants it to be me…and I don't think I could bear the guilt if I walked out on her tonight, and she ended up with someone else who didn't take care of her.

I turn my head, my eyes locking on hers that are full of so many emotions, and I can read every single one of them. She's embarrassed, likely from the fact that I called her out for not telling me she's a virgin. She's worried, either that I'm turned off by it or that it's a complete dealbreaker for me. And she's hopeful. Hopeful that I won't call this whole thing off and leave her to explore her sexuality with someone else.

I don't make her wait long before I put all those emotions to rest.

"We still doing this, or what?"