23. Grace

TWENTY-THREE

GRACE

"I'm going to end up living in your guest room. I'm about to spend my whole paycheck before I even leave work," Monroe grumbles, looking at her reflection in the mirror as she smooths her hands over her hips. It's a slow day at the boutique, so we decided to try on some of the new designs we just got in and take photos for social media. She's an absolute knockout, so I suggested she model a few of the dresses. Who wouldn't buy something if they thought it would make them look as good as she does in it?

"At least then I'd have some company," I say with a laugh, but it's fake at best. Cash's mornings have been getting earlier, his nights later, and even when he is home, he's too tired to do anything together. I'm trying my best to be understanding because this project is about to make life a lot easier for some very well-deserving women and their children, but it's starting to wear on me. I always feel like I'm coming in second place to whatever Cash has going on in his life. It would be nice to be a priority, just once.

Monroe scoffs. "You're too good for that guy," she says bluntly. "First of all, he takes everything you do for granted. Secondly, he's pretty, but not nearly as pretty as you are. You could do better." One thing about my bestie…she doesn't mince words. She's always had a strong dislike for my fiancé and has never been shy about letting me know.

I roll my eyes and chuckle quietly, because there isn't really a point in arguing. I'm too frustrated with him right now to put any energy into defending him. He doesn't exactly deserve it at the moment.

I take a few photos of her, then send them so she can get them posted to the boutique's social media accounts. We seem to see an influx of customers on the weekend when we make a post on Friday about new inventory, so I'm crossing my fingers that tomorrow brings more people through our doors.

"Nice work, girls," Claire says, looking up from her phone. "You've done enough today, and you got here extra early this morning. Why don't you both take off and enjoy the rest of your evening?" The words are like music to my ears because all I can think about is pouring a glass of wine and soaking my body in a hot bubble bath. If I'm lucky, I'll have enough time before Cash comes home to enjoy a little one-on-one time with my vibrator. It's been months since I had actual intercourse, and if I don't get myself off tonight, I'm going to turn into a different person. Nobody wants that.

I don't argue, packing up my things and hightailing it out of the building toward my car. I make the ten-minute drive, pulling into the garage and noticing that Cash is already here. I should be excited that he's home before dark, but I immediately get the feeling that something is off. I hear loud music coming from upstairs, which catches me off guard because if he's up there, he's either in bed or in his office working. But if it's the latter, he wouldn't have the volume so loud. On the few occasions, he's worked from home, he's asked me to keep the noise down because it distracts him. He doesn't even like it when I run the vacuum if he's in his office.

I don't bother announcing myself as I enter the house, because he wouldn't hear me anyway. Making my way up the stairs, I notice that the office is wide open and empty, so I bypass it, heading toward the bedroom. The door is slightly ajar, and just as I go to push it open, I come to a dead stop when movement catches my eye on the bed.

I recognize Cash's back as he lies naked between a woman's parted legs. I'm frozen, watching as he thrusts into her, grunting while her loud moans fill the room over the rock song that plays in the background. His hand goes up to the headboard and she hooks her ankles above his ass, her fingers sliding around his torso and digging into the skin below his shoulder blades. My brain is screaming at my body to move, but it's like my feet are stuck in cement as I watch my fiancé, who hasn't touched me in months, fuck another woman in the bed that we share.

"Fuck, baby," he says, breathing heavily. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she says back, and that seems to snap me from my stupor. Tears well in my eyes as I turn toward the stairs and run as fast as I can out the front door. I don't grab my purse, my keys, or anything else. All I can think about is getting out of the house and away from all of this.

I sprint down the driveway, not really even knowing where I'm going. It's before five o'clock, so my parents aren't home yet, but I run toward their house. If anything, it'll give me a place to hide while I try to figure out what I'm going to do. I'm numb as my feet carry me down the sidewalk, my vision blurring with the tears that are filling my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.

"Grace, are you okay?" says a familiar voice. I look up to find Tanner running toward me, concern written all over his face as he approaches. I know I should be mad at him right now, but the sight of him comforts me, making me crash right into his body and wrap my arms around him, fisting the back of his t-shirt in my shaking hands. He embraces me, holding so tightly that it forces the breath from both of our lungs. For a split second, I breathe him in, succumbing to my need to feel safe and protected.

I allow myself just a few more moments of it before I pull away. The tears I was holding in have now started running down my cheeks, prompting him to reach up and smooth them away.

"What's going on?" he asks. "Are you hurt?" He looks me over for any signs of injury, but I shake my head rapidly.

"I need," I start, choking on my words. "I need to get out of here. I left all my stuff inside." I look back at my house, terrified at the thought of going back in there. But as if he can read my mind, Tanner wraps a protective arm around me and leads me to his car. I know I shouldn't get in. He's hurt me worse than anyone else ever could, but all I can think about right now is getting away from here before Cash realizes I saw him. He'll know as soon as he sees my bag on the counter and my car in the garage. I just can't face him right now.

He opens the door to his Tesla, ushering me in and reaching across my body to fasten my seatbelt. There's a nanosecond where we make eye contact, but I have to look away because it's almost too much for me right now. After all these years, and all the anger and resentment I still hold toward him, being near Tanner feels like a lost piece of me has been returned. He shuts my door carefully, running around the front of the car and getting into the driver's seat. He doesn't say a word until we're miles away from my street.

"Can you tell me what happened?" he asks softly.

I sniff, trying my best to get myself together so I can speak. "I got out of work early today. I was excited to get home, but thought it was really weird that Cash was already there. He's been working really late for the past six months, so it was strange to see him home before dark. I knew something was wrong as soon as I got inside." I swallow thickly. "He wasn't alone."

I see his hands as they tighten against the steering wheel. His jaw clenches and I can tell that he's angry. "That stupid motherfucker. I'm going to kill him," he says quietly.

"No, you aren't," I say. "I can't go home right now. I have two days before I have to be back at work. I just need to figure out where I'm going to stay until I can process all of this." Tears well up in my eyes again, but I fight them back. I've survived worse. I'm not letting Cash break me.

He stays silent for a moment, eventually exhaling slowly. "I have somewhere you can stay."

I don't answer. I just give him a tight nod because as much as I don't want his help, I'm kind of desperate right now. Once Cash realizes I caught him in bed with another woman, he'll be looking for me. I doubt he'll call my parents and tell them he can't find me because they'd have questions. He plays the role of doting fiancé in front of them, so he wouldn't be willing to run the risk of them finding out he's been cheating on me. My phone is in my purse on the counter, so I just need to find a way to text my mom and dad that I'm spending the weekend out of town. That should be enough to buy me a couple of days without raising any red flags. Even though I didn't do anything wrong, I don't want to get them involved until I've sorted out my own emotions.

We drive in silence for a few more minutes, but as soon as he turns down the gravel road, my stomach twists. I sit up straight, looking over at him. I'm sure he can see the fear written across my face as he comes to a stop in front of the lighthouse.

"No," I say, shaking my head rapidly. I do everything I can to stop the stinging in the back of my eyes, but it's no use. They fill with tears and spill over immediately as every memory of the last time I was here rushes back into my mind. Him telling me he didn't love me and walking away as I begged him not to. Crying in the middle of this very road for what seemed like hours before finally getting in my car and driving myself home, where I barely made it into my room before I broke down again. Days went by where I was on autopilot, crying myself to sleep, just to wake up the next morning and do it all over again. "I can't."

He kills the ignition, turning in his seat to face me. I look away because I'll be damned if I let him see what being here is doing to me. He doesn't deserve to know that I'm still affected by it. "Nobody will think to look for you here. I'll leave you alone if you want, but you'll be safe, and you can stay as long as you need to."

He takes his key ring in his hand, removing a key and extending it to me. I stare at it as if it's on fire, pressing my back against the door in an attempt to put space between it and me. "Why do you have a key to the lighthouse, Tanner? Your parents said they sold it."

His eyes meet mine. "They did. To me."

I pull my brows together in confusion. I have so many questions, but my emotions are currently all over the place and I don't think I can handle drudging up the past any further than just being here is already doing. I need to process one thing at a time.

"Will you please stay?" he asks. I turn, looking at the beautiful home, noticing how literally nothing has changed. I can see through the windows that the same curtains are hanging inside. The Adirondack chairs that we used to sit in by the fire are pulled up near the dock. Can I even do this? Can I stay here when it's filled with so many memories that ended in me losing so much?

I consider my options, which are basically none. I can't go to the inn here on the harbor because people will recognize me. I don't want to go to my parents' house because I don't know what to tell them. And I'm not going home. I need time to cool off before I tell Cash that we're over. But we are. That's the only thing about this that I'm completely certain of.

"Okay," I say quietly. He breathes a sigh of relief, exiting the car and walking around to open my door. I hesitate, feeling like I could vomit right here, but my body has a mind of its own, lifting off the seat and carrying me to the front door.

Tanner puts the key in the lock, having to put a little force behind it in order to get the rusted knob to turn. He pushes the door open, letting me walk through as he follows behind me.

I stand there, taking everything in for God knows how long. Nothing has been touched. A thin layer of dust covers the furniture, which tells me that nobody has been here in a while. Off to my right is the kitchen, where I sat on his lap as we ate our breakfast. I look left, seeing the entryway to the living room, where we snuggled on the couch and watched movies until we fell asleep in each other's arms. And straight forward is the hallway that I know leads to the bedroom. The bedroom where Tanner gave me everything, and also where he took it all away.

I know I should be focused on Cash and his betrayal, but being here is stirring up emotions that I have had buried inside me for years. Emotions that I thought I had under control, but are quickly bubbling up to the surface as I stand here next to him.

One minute, I'm telling myself that I'm going to be okay. That I can be here and not relive every detail of what was, undeniably, the darkest time in my life.

The next minute, I'm stepping forward and angrily swiping everything that sits on the counter into the wall beside it. A glass vase filled with seashells smashes into a million pieces and litters the floor beside us. Magazines and stacks of paper fly all around me as I let out my rage on every inanimate object within my reach. I lose control, shouting and sobbing as my chest constricts, unable to hold back the hurt that I've been harboring for what seems like a lifetime. My lungs are burning as I wail, letting everything I'm feeling out into the universe. Tears run down my face, falling to the floor at my feet as I erupt violently.

"I fucking hate you!" I yell. "I deserved better! I am better! You threw me away like I was worthless! I gave you everything! Everything! And you broke me!"

I continue tearing the place up, not even sure who I'm screaming at, while Tanner stands there completely frozen behind me. He lets me trash his house until I'm exhausted and out of breath. I only stop when I feel his arms wrap around me from behind, making me sag back into him as the adrenaline that was coursing through me starts to wear off and my body gives out. My chest is heaving as I try to breathe, unable to inhale fully through my sobs. I stare at the mess I made, until I'm eventually lifted from my feet and carried down the hall, hearing broken glass crunch under his shoes as he walks. I lean my head on his shoulder, whimpering softly because everything still hurts so badly.

I want to put up a fight as I feel us approaching the bedroom, but I'm so physically drained, that it wouldn't do much if I did. I don't know if I can go in there without more memories finding their way to the front of my mind. But as he enters the room, pulling back the covers and laying me on the mattress, my exhaustion wins, and I drift off to sleep before I even get a chance to feel another thing.