Chapter 37

CHAPTER 37

J ackson

I'm really nervous about tonight, but also very excited.

A date with a guy. I know at one point that would have sounded wrong—my instinct would have been to be disgusted—but deep down I know that it would have been for show. I only went along with my brother to avoid the beatings. But the conditioning to sneer and insult went deep, and for that, I'm ashamed and embarrassed. To go out in public with another man is a big step. To be on the other side is somehow made worse, as I know the hate and the bile that homophobes have, and that scares me. But this is Larchdown and things are a little different. Still, it's a big step.

I'm also nervous about not messing it up with Luca. I don't know what it is, but this connection I feel, I want to feel it forever.

When I'd returned to the pub yesterday, to collect my things and check out, Darla mentioned she hadn't seen Luca for many years—not since he moved to London and stopped coming back to Larchdown. I didn't tell her that she'd see him soon when I booked a table. I didn't tell her anything, except that I wanted a table for two. She, of course, tried to nosy information out of me, but I can be pretty close-mouthed when I want to be.

I dress carefully but casually, in black jeans and a green shirt. I hope it goes with my eyes. I laugh at the thought of me even thinking like that—at how much has changed since I've been in Larchdown. I meet Luca in the hall. He too is wearing black jeans, but with a purple shirt which, with his dark hair, lashes, and his sensual lips, makes him look like a rockstar.

"You look gorgeous," I can't help but blurt when he appears. He breaks out into a smile.

"Looking very fine yourself," he replies, and I need to kiss him. I need a taste of him if I'm going to survive the evening. I grab his hips and pull him close. Our lips meet, and he pushes his tongue into my mouth, sweeping through. I graze my teeth along it and he lets out a little moan. The sound travels all the way to my cock, which gives a lurch. With our hips ground together, I can feel he's hard as well.

"We. Should. Go," I try to say, around kissing him.

"We could stay," he mumbles.

As tempting as that sounds, I slowly break off kissing him. I want and need to do this. I tell him so, but reach down to play my thumb down the very distinct, hard bulge in his hot, tight jeans.

"But I want that for afters, baby." I give him one last kiss, biting his bottom lip, which causes another groan and has me almost abandoning my plans to go out. I find the effect I have on him hot, so I slyly smile and say,"Later."

We don't talk on the drive down to the village, and I desperately try not to think of Luca's moans against my mouth as I really need my erection to go away by the time we get there.

When we walk through the door, Darla beams at us and sweeps over.

"Well, if it isn't little Luca Winterton." She's already drawn me into a hug, and she does the same to Luca.

"Hello Darla. I'm not so little anymore."

Darla holds him at arm's length and flicks her eyes up and down.

"So I see." She smiles, and Luca colours ever so slightly. "I heard you'd come back to Larchdown. I'm sorry about old Frances, but I'm glad she left you the house. And I hear from Jackson that you're opening up the garden—who'd have thought it—but it will be a good thing for the village." As usual, with Darla, no replies are needed and it's best to let her ramble on.

"Now I've put you boys over here in the corner." She leads the way through the tables. "Can I get you a drink?"

I order a bottle of wine, checking first with Luca that it would be okay. When she disappears to fetch it, Luca sits back and laughs.

"Were you hoping for an intimate dinner?"

I shrug a reply, smiling at him.

"Because you know, don't you, that within minutes this will be round the entire village? It wouldn't surprise me if Darla has her busiest night of the year, while the village turns out to have a look at the boy who returned, and the sexy gardener."

I knew it would happen, but Larchdown is still the safest place I know. I don't want to make Luca uncomfortable.

"Are you okay with that?" I think Luca likes his reclusive lifestyle, staying at the house because he prefers it. But now, I wonder if I've got it wrong. However, he has readily agreed to come with me, and shows no signs of anxiety.

"I'm fine." He must see my concern, because he adds. "My attacks are normally in anticipation of something bad happening, but this is Larchdown. I might have spent time away, but it hasn't changed."

I breathe a sigh of relief and relax slightly. Darla comes back with a bottle of red wine and takes our orders. I notice that there are a few more people in the pub than when we'd walked in.

"Now, there might be a few people who want to say hello," Darla begins, trying to look innocent, as if she hasn't been gossiping already. "But I've told them that you boys want to be left alone."

"That's okay Darla." I smile, and as she leaves I say in a low voice, "We can be intimate later," enjoying the dark glittering that shines in Luca's eyes.

Luca takes a swallow of his wine and looks round the room and back at me.

"Is this you coming out?" He gives me an impish grin.

"What do you mean?"

"Usually a gay or bi person comes out, which is when they tell their family and friends about their sexuality."

"I've spent too long siding with the haters, through fear and ignorance. Tonight is about proving to myself that I can be seen to be who I am without the fear."

"Coming out then?" Luca smiles his goddamn sexy smile.

"I guess so." I laugh.

"Come here then." Luca leans over and plants a kiss on my lips. I swear I hear a few cheers in the pub, but when I look up, no one is looking our way—almost deliberately not looking our way.

Darla, true to her word—although she is almost totally responsible for the large crowd in the pub—manages to give us some space. A few people wander over to say hello though. Old Pete comes over. I'd paid the debt off on my van a while ago.

"Good to see you back, young Luca." He says in his slow manner.

"Thanks, Old Pete. It's good to be back."

"Reckon you'll be staying around a while longer, then?" He addresses me.

"It looks that way, Pete."

"That's good," he says, and pats me on the shoulder as he leaves.

While we wait for our main course, I reach my hand across the table and Luca interlaces his fingers with mine.

"I want to ask you something."

"Sure." Luca tilts his head quizzically.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" His smile lights up the room.

"Yes, of course. I would love that."

We're almost through dessert when I hear a familiar, booming voice.

"Well, if it isn't yon gardener laddie, with the wee laddie from the hoose."

"Well, at least I wasn't the ‘wee laddie'," I whisper to Luca, as Keith makes his way over with Ben in tow.

"Nothing ‘wee' about me." He grins back as they reach our table. Without asking, Keith pulls up a chair and plonks himself down on it. He waves at Darla to bring us all a round of drinks. Ben also pulls up a chair, but with a slight apology in his eyes. I give him a smile.

"Well, well, this is who those extra pastries were for, eh? I didn't think yous were eating them all yerself. Now I see how it is. I said if you stayed in Larchdown too long, you'd turn into one of us." He claps one of his massive hands on my back and guffaws loudly.

"Thanks Keith, nice to see you too." I try to be stern but I can't keep from smiling. "I guess you remember Luca."

"Aye, I remember the wee laddie on his bicycle, coming to visit us with his pocket money." He smiles, and looks for all the world like he's going to lean over and chub Luca's cheek, like a grandma to her small grandson.

But Luca takes it in good humour.

"But do you remember my favourite cake?"

"Aye. A cupcake with purple frosting and rainbow sprinkles," he says, with Luca joining in with the "rainbow sprinkles." They both laugh.

Talk turns to the opening of the gardens—which seems popular with the villagers—and the tables fill up around us, with many people shouting hello or coming over to see Luca for themselves. Eventually, I order coffee, as I still have to drive us back to the house and I don't want to drink any more.

At length, we manage to leave, wending our way through the throng and outside to the van. Once inside, I lean over in my seat and kiss Luca.

"Thank you for tonight."

"I enjoyed it. You did well, though you know it'll be a different experience outside Larchdown?"

"I know, but I want to take it one step at a time." With that, I start the van and drive us back to the house.