Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

Clara

I swipe away a tear as my sisters all look at me through our FaceTime call. The pity in their gazes is overwhelming, but I know they don't mean it in the way other people would. Other people would think my life is pointless without my being able to do what God intends for women to do. It's really frustrating that society thinks everyone should procreate. I was fine with loving my dog and being happy. But because of societal norms, I thought Riggs would want more than what I can provide for him.

Like my sisters, he just loves me and wants me to be happy.

He made sure I knew that.

"I think I've fallen for Coach McCoy," Austen says softly, and my lips turn up.

"Same. What a dreamboat," Eliza agrees as she wipes her face. She's a sympathy crier, always cries when anyone else does. "I'm so glad you told him."

I shrug, cuddling into Darcy's head. "I should have told him from the top, so if he did want to have kids, he could have dumped me."

Elliot snorts. "It doesn't matter when you told him, Clara, he wants you. Like he said."

I nod. "I just don't want him to resent me down the road."

"Sissy, he's thirty-five. If he really wanted kids, he would have done it earlier or with his wife."

"I know, but he didn't think she would be a good mom. He told me that things changed when he met me," I insist, my heart heavy. After I sobbed all over him and ruined his slacks with my snot, we went back to the compound, and it was time for him to go. While I felt like I was letting him down, his eyes never gave away a thing. He looked at me like I was still so important to him and kissed me just the same before he had to go.

"But he told you he wanted you, only you," Louisa repeats. "Don't do this to yourself. Don't dig yourself a hole where you feel you belong. He told you he loved you."

I smile as his words replay in my head.

"It sucks, Clara. It does. But you found a man who loves dogs as much as you do and who makes you happy. Don't sabotage it," Eliza stresses.

"Don't pull a me and overthink it," Elliot offers. "Just trust him. Which I know is easier said than done."

"It really is," Austen agrees. "But for what it's worth, I believe him."

Each of my sisters agrees, and I nod. "I do too."

They smile at me as Gretzky nuzzles his nose in my neck, breathing deeply. Above my head is Gordie's head, where he is sleeping soundly. I cuddle into Darcy, and I smile back. "Thanks, guys."

"Always. You know we love you," Louisa tells me.

"Exactly. You are perfect the way you are." Elliot sends me a wide grin.

"You are, and no matter what happens, we'll always be here for you," Eliza reminds me, and I nod.

"But I know I'm happy you found Riggs," Austen adds. "Even if I'm not a fan of the hiding thing. But then, Dimitri had to hide us, so I get it. You don't want to mix hockey politics with love."

"It isn't really hiding as much as they're not telling anyone right now. We all know how that goes since Elliot hid a pregnancy for six months," Louisa accuses, and I can't help but snort at that.

"You guys won't ever let me live that down, will you?"

"Nope," we all say together, and Elliot laughs. We join in, but then my phone shows another call coming in.

Riggs.

My heart flutters. "Hey, he's calling. Let me get off here."

They all wave, blowing me kisses before I switch over. I realize way too late that it's a FaceTime call with my burly lumberjack, so instead of looking guilty, I send him a small little grin, happy to see him but still a bit overwhelmed from telling him about my condition. "Hey. Did you get settled?"

I know he did since he's got no shirt on and he's lying back in bed looking all freshly showered and yummy. That is, he's lying back until he realizes there are three huge-ass dogs on me. In his bed. He pulls his brows together, and I continue to act like there aren't three dogs lying on me in his bed, where he has specifically asked for them not to be. "I am. Took a shower and unpacked for tomorrow's skate, then hung up my suit. I may have it steamed before the game."

I make a face. "I steamed it yesterday."

"Did you?" he asks, and then he's moving, taking me with him. I hear the zip of the bag, and then he smiles. "You did. Thank you, my love."

I try to smile, but I know it's not as bright as he likes it. "You know I've got you."

"I know," he agrees as he heads back to the bed, the camera moving every which way with each heavy step he takes. "How are you feeling?"

I bite my lip when it starts to tremble. "I miss you," I admit. "I feel like the space is making me a bit insecure this time."

His features soften as he runs his fingers through his beard. "Don't let it. Nothing has changed between us." His confidence is intoxicating as I gaze into his chocolate eyes.

"I know that, but my brain is being a little bit of a brat."

He chuckles. "Now you know how I feel," he teases, and that makes my grin grow. "Ah, there's my baby girl."

My lip wobbles as I take in his handsome face. The lines along his eyes that are more noticeable when he is smiling at me so contentedly, the way his eyes are dark chocolate and so scrumptious, how his lips curve for only me. "I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you."

"You don't owe me an apology. Like I said, this changes nothing."

My heart swells, and it's hard to breathe as I get lost in his gaze. "How did I get so lucky to find you?"

He chuckles, his eyes bright. "I ask myself every time you smile, Clara."

We smile at each other, and I just love him so damn much. "I love you."

His eyes darken, and he exhales a hard, shaky breath, like hearing the words affects him so greatly. "I love you."

His gaze doesn't leave mine, but I know he sees when Gretzky licks my chin. I kiss my boy's muzzle just as Riggs says, "Can I ask why you can't have kids?"

My eyes instantly fill with tears, but I hurry to blink them away. I swallow past the lump that forms out of nowhere, and in a guttural voice, I say, "I never got a period. All my sisters started around twelve, but mine never came. I think that's another reason they hid me with everything inside them, because we were worried they'd kill me for not being able to procreate."

He shakes his head. "Can I bomb this place? Like, take them all out? I hate them. You know that, right?"

I smile. "We all do."

"I'm so thankful for your sisters."

"Me too," I say, my voice breaking. "Louisa took me to the doctor a couple days after they picked me up to make sure I was okay, and the doctor asked when I had my last period. Since I'd never had one, I went through some extensive testing to find out what I already knew. I don't ovulate, so I can't ever have a baby of my own."

He nods slowly. "You were eighteen?"

"Yeah."

"That's a lot to take in at such a young age."

I shrug. "It was, but I think I was so glad to be away from that awful place, I didn't let it get to me." I pause, choosing my words carefully. "But when I met you, I think I knew it would be different with you, and it scared me that you'd reject me."

He shakes his head. "Never," he says, his voice laced with so much emotion. "Do you want children?"

"I want your children," I admit, gazing into his eyes. "I want to watch you be a dad."

He nods. "I never really wanted kids after I lost my parents. It scares me, the thought of leaving them alone."

"That's why we raise them to live without us and carry on our love."

He curves his lips at that. "I never thought of it that way."

"I don't know… It's all in the future, ya know?"

"Yeah, our future. Together," he promises, and my heart explodes in my chest. "Who says we can't adopt or get a surrogate? You have four sisters. Surely one of them would carry our baby?"

"But it wouldn't be mine, and it costs so much."

He shrugs. "I've got the money. If you want a baby, I'll spend all my funds to give it to you."

Tears spill over and run down my cheeks. "Oh, Riggs."

"I'm serious, Clara. I love you. And I'm great with it just being us, but if you want a baby down the road, I'll do everything I can to make it happen for you. I'd give you the world, and I'd also burn it down for you. Whatever you want, my love."

My lips tremble as I whisper, "I love you too, Riggs."

"Sound like a plan, my love?"

"A great plan," I agree, swallowing hard. "I don't know what I want."

"And we don't gotta decide now, aye? We've got our whole lives, and ultimately, it's whatever we want. If you want it to be just us and the pups, traveling this world and having all the uninterrupted sex, I am down." Laughter bubbles out of me as his eyes burn into mine. "But if you want it to be the pups, some kids, a white picket fence, and me getting it in when the kids aren't looking, I'm there."

"Really?"

"Really, my love. As long as I've got you, I'm the happiest I'll ever be."

I feel like I'm floating in the sky, so utterly loved I don't even know how to process it. I've only ever known my sisters' love and Peepaw's, but Riggs's is a whole different kind.

It's all-consuming, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

"Same."

He smiles. "Good. Now, stop it with all that crying. You're breaking my wee heart."

I wipe my face. "I know. I'm sorry."

"I wish I were there to wipe those tears away."

"Me too."

"You know I'd kiss you."

"I know," I say, my face flushing. "Probably put your hands in my shorts."

He scoffs. "You would already be naked if I were there."

"This is true."

His eyes darken. "Also, I'd push the damn dogs out of my damn bed because they're not supposed to be there," he says in a growly voice. "All four of you know better." Darcy starts to lick the phone, and I can't help but bubble with laughter. "Your kisses don't work on me, Darcy!"

I feign hurt. "Yes, they do!" Riggs snorts, and I flash him a pleading look. "Please? They make me happy. I don't have you to cuddle me, so I'm cuddling with the dogs."

He gives me a look, a pointed one that makes me all kinds of giddy. "You're a real pain in my ass, baby girl, but fuck, if I don't love you."

I beam for him, a real smile, one that I know reaches my eyes. "I love you more."

"Never," he says, so seriously, even I can't deny the fact. "Now, close your eyes, get some sleep."

I make a face. "You don't want to talk?"

"You're tired, my love," he tells me, his voice soft and soothing. "I'll stay on the line until you're asleep."

My eyes flood with tears again at how incredibly amazing he is. "Okay."

"That's my good girl. Goodnight."

"Night." I blow out a breath. "Win tomorrow. For me."

I love his chuckle before he says, "Always for you."

And on my next breath, I'm met with blackness.

But I know I'm safe.

I've got Riggs and my pups.

While the future is unknown, nothing can touch the happiness these four give me.