Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

Clara

The Bears' arena is almost like a small community of shops, restaurants, and in the center is not only the Bears statue, but a huge courtyard for people to hang out. Peepaw said he wanted a spot for people to tailgate before the games, and it's been one hell of a success. I love the trees out here, the large eastern redbuds that make the whole park look magical. I hadn't planned on coming here today. I need to clean out the bus, but when Riggs said he wasn't going to be able to come home before catching his flight to Michigan, the boys and I decided to stop by to wish him luck. While I got my fill of him the last two days, it's never enough.

I watch as Gretzky, Darcy, and Gordie run circles around the park, thankful that no one is around as I text Riggs.

Me: Hey.

Riggs: Hey, you okay?

I smile. Why wouldn't I be okay? I'm in love with an incredible, amazing man. Not that I say that.

Me: Great. What are you doing?

Riggs: Watching tapes and putting the final touches on my notes.

I bite my lip. I don't want to distract him or pull him from his work, but really, this guy is always watching tapes and taking notes. At this point, I'm pretty sure he could write out what his players will do before they even think to do it.

Me: Can I steal you for an hour?

Riggs: Of course.

God, I love how he just gives me what I ask for. No questions. He wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him.

Me: I'm outside the arena.

Riggs: Now?

Then my phone rings. I smile when a photo of him and me snuggling on the couch fills my screen. "I didn't know you were coming up here," he says without a hello.

"I know. I wanted to see you before you left. I brought the boys."

"What a nice surprise. I'm on my way."

His line goes dead, and I smile brightly. "Daddy is coming, guys," I call to Gordie, who is currently lying at my feet, breathing hard from running circles. Before he can give me a look or even acknowledge the news, I hear my peepaw's voice.

"Clara Drew, what are you doing here, sweetheart?"

I look over just as my peepaw pulls me into a tight hug. "Hey, Peepaw," I say, my heart kicking up. "With Coach McCoy leaving, I thought he'd like to see the pups before he left."

Peepaw's eyes crinkle at the sides as he smiles widely at me. He looks over to where Gretzky is chasing Darcy. "That's sweet of you. I'm sure he'll be thankful."

I nod just as Riggs's voice meets us. "I am, especially since this wee bit wanted to meet my boys." I turn just in time to see Riggs with the most gorgeous little boy in his arms. The toddler has the brightest blue eyes and sandy blond hair. He can't be more than three, with a little pouty lip and a wide nose. The little boy squeals when Riggs calls the boys over, even Darcy. Riggs likes to act like Darcy is a pain in his ass, but he loves him. Riggs leans down with the boy in his arms and tells the boys to sit. When Darcy plants his ass down, I don't blame him.

I almost sit at Riggs's sexy command.

"Okay, Jessie, this is Gretzky, Darcy, and Gordie."

Jessie giggles sweetly as the dogs lick his hand and wiggle for him. The look on Riggs's face knocks me on my ass. It's so serene, sweet, and my heart feels like it's shattering into a million pieces. I have to look away, but when I do, my gaze falls on a gorgeous blonde with the same blue eyes and pout to her lips as the boy. This must be the mom. Hopefully married to a player.

Or Riggs has a wife and kid he never told me about, and this is about to get awkward as fuck.

Peepaw beams over at her. "Hey, Jelanie. You and Jessie hanging out?"

She smiles sweetly, nodding. "Yeah, with Willy leaving tonight, we wanted to spend some time with him. It's been rough on Jessie this round."

Okay. This doesn't need to get awkward.

Peepaw sends her a supportive smile. "I know, but it'll be worth it."

She doesn't seem convinced, and seeing the pain so visibly on her face has me worrying about Elliot. Her son will be here soon, and I won't be there with her when they ultimately leave the team. I think my heart can't ache anymore until I direct my attention back to Riggs. He's laughing with Jessie, making the little boy grin, and I see awe in Riggs's eyes.

He would be a great dad.

I swallow past the lump in my throat, and I don't really hear anything else. My heart is in my ears, pounding hard, and I feel like I'm on autopilot. With no real emotion, I wave at Jelanie and Jessie and then Peepaw when they head inside. I don't even worry about Peepaw suspecting us. My mind won't allow me.

It isn't until we're alone that I actually meet Riggs's gaze. He pulls in his brows as he hooks the leashes to the boys' collars. "You okay, my love?"

His words warm my soul. I bite hard into the inside of my lip as I nod. "Yeah. Wanna take them for a walk?"

"That sounds lovely. We can head over to that ice cream shop you like."

I can only nod as I take Gordie's and Gretzky's leashes since Riggs is trying to leash-train Darcy. He listens better to Riggs. Apparently, I'm too soft. Which I probably am because I'm two seconds from bursting into tears, and that would be a bad idea. I don't want to stress Riggs out or put a damper on our little outing. So, I swallow past my emotions and walk beside him as we head out of the Bears compound. It isn't until we're on the sidewalk that leads to the center of town that Riggs asks, "Did you eat lunch?"

I don't look at him as I answer. "Yeah, I had leftovers from dinner last night."

We had an awesome feast of fried chicken and sweet potatoes last night. I had helped him make some kind of caramel butter, and it was downright amazing. He reaches out, squeezing my wrist. "That's my good girl."

Heat floods between my legs, but I ignore it. "Not really. I used all the caramel butter and maybe licked the carton."

He chuckles, the sound damn sexy. "Still my good girl whom I'll make more for."

I can't help but smile. "Promise?"

"For you, yes."

I swallow thickly as my emotions run rampant inside me. I love this man, and I'm pretty sure he's in love with me. He has to be. You don't call someone your love unless you love them.

Right?

"Wanna know a secret?"

His question pulls me from my thoughts, and I glance over at him. In the sun, his eyes look more caramel than dark chocolate. His shoulders are back, his beard a little wild today. It makes me think he's been yanking at it all morning during practice, something he tends to do. A little smirk is playing on his lips, and I can't help but smile back. "I love secrets."

Now, he's grinning. "I can't wait till I can introduce you as mine instead of Dan Davenport's granddaughter or my dog sitter."

My heart sings, but then it's ruined by my stomach clenching. "I'm ready for that," I admit. "I'm ready to hold your hand in public."

He grimaces, but then heat fills his gaze. "I want to hold you in public, kiss you so that everyone knows who you belong to."

Before I get too carried away by his words, I say, "Jessie is cute."

I don't miss the way Riggs's brows furrow at my abrupt topic change. "Yeah, he's a good lad. Loves dogs."

I swallow past the lump that is growing bigger by the second. "You looked really hot with him."

He chuckles. "I hope that wasn't in a weird way."

I snicker, shaking my head. "No. I mean you look good with kids. Like you'd be a good dad." He shrugs at that, but I don't miss the way his jaw tightens. "Did you and Peppa not want kids?"

He doesn't answer right away, and I feel my body tingling as I wait for the answer. Finally, he says, "I didn't trust her."

I angle my head. "What do you mean?"

"She wasn't mom material, and I had just lost my parents, who were the best parents in the world. I didn't see her as the type of mom my mom was, so I was scared to have kids with her. She wanted to, right away, but I wasn't ready. She would get so mad that I continued to use condoms with her, but I couldn't chance it. I think I always knew that things wouldn't work out between us." Tears burn behind my eyes, and I feel his gaze on me. When his fingers circle my wrist, I glance down at them before looking up into his welcoming chocolate depths. He looks at me like I could be the mom he always wanted for his kids, and my heart continues to shatter. He licks his lips as he strokes his thumb along the back of my hand. "Not to jump the gun or scare you, but I don't feel that way about you."

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fucking fuck!

I avert my gaze as the tears flood my eyes. I look ahead, and I feel Riggs staring a hole into the side of my face. "Was that too much, my love?"

My voice cracks as I shake my head. "No, not at all. I mean, it's obvious that this relationship is on the track for that."

He stops me, and he pulls at my wrist so that my body turns to face his. "I never thought it would, but you're right. I want a future with you when I never thought that would happen. I thought for the longest time I was broken, and I was, because you've fixed me, Clara."

I shake my head as the tears flow, running down the sides of my face. "You weren't broken, Riggs. Maybe a bit bent, but never broken."

He steps closer, and he brings one hand beneath my chin to guide my face up. Our eyes meet, and I almost sob at the pure love in his gaze. He wipes my tears away. "My love, what's wrong?"

I chew on my bottom lip as I search his gaze. I don't know why I ask him, and I hate myself for it, but still, the words leave my lips. "Do you want kids?"

He seems taken aback by my question as he continues to catch my tears with his thumbs. "I don't know. I didn't because, when I lost my parents so young, I never wanted to put my children through a loss like that. But things are different now." This time, a sob bursts out of me, and his face instantly changes. Fear and worry fill his features before he wraps me up in his arms. "Clara, love, what's wrong?"

I shake my head. "You aren't the broken one, Riggs. I am."

He cups my face, continuing to wipe my tears as he leans in, dusting his lips against mine. The dogs have sat at our feet and are whimpering as I cry. Riggs's voice is strained as he says, "My love, you're not making sense?—"

Not able to handle it, I cry out, "I can't have kids."