Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Alex

When I was sixteen, I was in goal, kicking ass as usual, when a guy slap shot the shit out of the puck, and it somehow hit me in just the right spot that it bent the cage of my face mask and knocked me unconscious. When I woke, I didn't know who I was, what I was doing, or even how I got on that sheet of ice. I was scared, pissed off, and thankful to be alive.

That's how I feel right now as I watch Elliot's tears spill down over her sweet cheeks.

I've never seen her cry, and honestly, I don't care for it.

I want to wipe her tears away, I want to kiss her plush mouth, but I refrain.

I'm going to be a dad.

I need answers. I need to know what the hell she was thinking. How could she keep this from me?

As soon as she got that green look on her face when the food came, it all started to click. I may be the youngest of five boys, but I have aunts, uncles, and now I have my brothers' pregnant wives. Hell, my sister-in-law Ise puked on my shoes when I came in with Takis last summer. Elliot looked just like Ise had, and it's been hard to sit across from her and not demand answers.

"How far along?" I don't even recognize my voice, it's so low and gravelly.

She flinches a bit, but my girl doesn't look away. She holds my gaze, that little chin high and those eyes intently on mine. "Six months yesterday."

"When did you find out?"

"Christmas." She sits up a bit straighter and inhales deeply before letting it out in a whoosh. "I took, like, eight pregnancy tests because I didn't believe it."

I hate that I wasn't there. That I didn't hold her as we waited for the test to tell us one way or the other. "Do you know what it is?"

She shakes her head, another gush of tears spilling down her face. "I didn't want to know without you knowing too."

"Then why didn't you tell me?" I ask, my voice breaking. I clear my throat, running my hands down my face before leaning forward on my thighs. "My phone number didn't change or my Instagram. Hell, you knew where I was."

Her lips quiver, but still, she doesn't look away. "At first, I wanted to be sure I was. And then, when the doctor confirmed it, you had just had your first shutout with the Assassins. I knew if I told you, it'd mess with your game, and you'd want to come back to be with me or ask me to come there. I didn't want to distract you."

"So instead, you kept me in the dark for six months while my child grew inside you." It's not a question, and the way her eyes flash lets me know I've hit a nerve.

"I had hurt you, Alex. I didn't want to rub more salt into the wound."

"This isn't salt, Elliot. This is a child. My child."

She presses her lips together as she nods. "I know."

"I don't know what I would have done, but I deserved to know. It should have been my choice, just as much as it was your choice to keep it from me. What was the plan? Wait till it came and then let me know?"

She shrugs. "I wanted to tell you. I just didn't know how."

"With words, Elliot," I demand, my eyes burning into hers as my heart slams in my chest. "You know I grew up without a father, and you were going to put my child through that?"

"No," she insists, her eyes going wide. "I was going to tell you."

"When?"

"I don't know," she admits, more tears spilling. "Maybe when the season was over. But then you showed up, and…here we are."

I shake my head, pissed beyond belief. "I should have been there for you. I should have been given the opportunity to go to doctors' appointments, to get you the foods you were craving, to feel them kick. I mean, fuck, Elliot, my dad didn't want that stuff, but I do. You robbed me of all that."

"I know." Her voice is so soft, and it's like a knife in my chest. "I was scared. I had just told you I didn't want to be with you, and then I come up pregnant. I was confused, Alex, and I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry."

I can see the guilt and the remorse in her eyes—hell, her whole body is vibrating with the emotions. "I would have been there for you."

She hiccups a sob and nods. "I know."

Breathless, I ask, "Who else knows? Your sisters?"

Elliot quickly shakes her head. "I haven't told anyone. No one knows. Just my doctor."

"So, you've been doing this alone for six months?" I ask incredulously. Fuck, why does she have to be so strong? And why do I love that she is? "Why?"

"Because I didn't want anyone to know until I told you."

My anger falters a bit as I hold her gaze.

"I am so sorry for keeping it from you for this long, Alex. I truly am. But please believe me that I had every intention of telling you. I was just so scared."

"Scared of what?" I ask, unable to process what she is saying. "I'd demand an abortion? I'd abandon you? What the fuck, Elliot?"

"No," she cries, wiping her face. "Alex, it's not that."

"Do you truly think that little of me?"

"No," she whispers, shaking her head.

"Then what, Elliot? If you know, then why didn't you tell me?"

She presses her lips tightly together, wiping away her tears. "I don't know."

"That's a lie," I accuse, my eyes burning into hers. "Tell me the truth."

"I can't."

"Tell me."

She shakes her head. "I can't, Alex. I can't."

"So, what? You'll make me wait another six months for the answer? Maybe around their first birthday?"

She shakes her head again, her tears falling anew. "I don't know," she says, her voice almost hysterical. "You don't understand."

"Try me, and if I don't understand, make me. I need answers here, Elliot."

She continues to shake her head, her lips swollen, her eyes the same as her tears fall quicker.

"I know you've been hurt, mi sol , but I would never do so. I won't."

She chokes on a sob and then quickly mutters, "I gotta go."

"Ellio—" Before I can even finish her name, she's up and out of her seat. She opens her purse, and I set her with a glare. "You put money on this table, Elliot Bea, I'll bend you over it and spank that ass."

She gawks at me. "You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I?"

Her eyes widen. "Alex, I just told you I'm pregnant, and you still want to smack my ass?"

I scoff. "You could tell me the world is ending and we're dying in three seconds, and I'd use those three seconds to spank your ass and then kiss the fuck out of you."

"Alex—"

I stand, blocking her escape and cutting off her words. I reach out and capture her hips in my hands. She looks everywhere but at me as I lean in. "I'll let you run right now, but we are nowhere near being done with this conversation."

My fingers bite into her hips, wanting to move to where my child grows inside her. I want to feel the contours of her stomach, hope to feel them kick, and get lost in my feelings for the woman who is carrying my child.

She slowly nods, and I angle my head to meet her gaze. Her hazel eyes are watery and full of such shame, it kills me. I don't want her to feel that way. Unable to resist, I lean in and press my lips to hers. A small meep leaves her lips before I engulf them with mine. Her lips are warm, and I relish the feel of them. I pull her in closer, and thankfully, her body presses into mine. Her hands come to my chest, squeezing my shirt as I run my tongue along the seam of her lips. I want to deepen the kiss, I want to lose myself in everything Elliot, but then I feel the curve of her stomach against mine, and tears burn in my eyes.

I'm going to be a dad.

She pulls away, her eyes wide as she removes herself from my grip. I try to hold on to her hips, but she pushes my hands away and swallows. "I'm sorry."

"Make it up to me by seeing me tomorrow."

"Alex—"

I tuck my hands into my pockets. "I know you're freaking out. I know you're overwhelmed, and I'll give you some space. Hell, I need a bit myself. But I want to see you tomorrow."

Beautiful relief fills her gaze as she nods. "I am sorry, Alex."

"I know. So, make it up to me."

"Okay."

"Okay," I agree. "And Elliot." She blinks, and I catch a tear that escapes. "Nothing has changed."